BENEFITS OF MEDIATION

Oct 30, 2018

Question #56: I’m at a loss…I am married for 18 years and know my wife for 23. We started with nothing and now I own a business as well as a building and other assets. I understand these will be split equally in some way. My real issue isn’t the money, she supported me and stayed home with the kids and contributed to our marrage. My issue is my children, as much as I know me and my wife just can’t get along anymore. We have tried counseling and it just doesn’t seem to work but I would do anything for my kids, 14, 13, 6. I would fight for custody but I don’t want to put my kids through it, I much rather have an amcicable seperation and divorce and move on, but she doesn’t seem willing to do that. I live in NY; I feel totally lost. No offense to you, but picking out a laywer isn’t easy… there’s no way to know who to trust. How do I resume my life in peace and not hurt my kids mentally? I need direction before I lose what little self worth I have left. Thanks for listening.

I strongly suggest that you consider mediating your divorce with an experienced attorney- mediator rather than each party hiring an attorney and battling it out in court. You will get no satisfaction from court. Only the attorneys win – not the clients and as soon as your money runs out you will be forced to […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #51: My husband and I are divorcing and about to go to mediation. Is there anything I can do to prepare for the procedure?

It is important that you select an attorney- mediator with years of experience in Divorce mediation who is familiar with the matrimonial laws of the jurisdiction in which you live. If you are located in the NYC metropolitan area, please call me at 212-370-1660 to discuss the matter in more detail. Leonard M. Weiner, Esq.Divorce […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #47: My wife has been having an affair for many months now. It came out into the open in early December. When that happened, we agreed to try and work on our relationship rather than face the alternative of divorce. During our reconciliation period, she continued to see her lover, and their love has grown stronger. She cut short our reconciliation and said she wanted a divorce. We have 2 boys, aged 8 and 5. She wants to use mediation/arbitration instead of the traditional adversarial divorce route. Continuing to today, se continues to be promiscuous. I have numerous documented occasions where she has dropped off our kids with someone else (a grandparent, a friend, me) in order to get her sexual appetite filled. Recreational drug use is well-documented on paper with her lover, even discussions of using XTC. She is using very poor judgment on a daily basis. She continues to deny her involvement with her lover, saying it is a “friend” and a platonic relationship. I have documentation that shows otherwise. She is also a recovering alcoholic, but never and not currently regularly attending AA meetings. Broken childhood home, and she has been in therapy for 15 yrs. She is now scared of losing the kids to me. I do not want to have my children feel that they are in a position where they have to choose between her or me, so mediation is a promising alternative. But I am hesitant that mediation would be slanted towards granting custody to the mother no matter what. I do not want my children put into a living situation where there are drugs present (pot & who knows what else, as my wife’s lover indulges more frequently than my wife), and I want them to be in a stable environment. In a traditional divorce, I know that it would be rough, but my evidence would prevail. I’m not so sure about mediation though. Comments? Advice?

You are absolutely right about the response of the courts to a parent using drugs who is seeking custody of the children. The courts would not want the children exposed to such behavior. Mediation, unlike arbitration, requires that you and your spouse agree to which parent will have custody, and you can insist that as […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #43: Can you help us with our divorce?

In order to properly respond to your question, I need to know some additional information. Are either of you living in the State of New York and for how long? Do you have any children? How long have you been married? Have you sought family counseling? If both you and your spouse are convinced that […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #41: WHAT ARE THE QUESTIONS THAT YOU SHOULD ASK WHEN SELECTING A MEDIATOR?

The first thing you should ask about is the mediator’s credentials, including his/her professional training and degrees, years practicing divorce mediation, number of cases he/she has worked on, etc. You should also insist on an attorney-mediator who can both mediate and prepare and file all of the legal documents necessary including the Separation Agreement and […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #39: Please send me some more information regarding the solutions you are offering. A good friend is currently going through a divorce, and is trying to save some money. The divorce is un-contested, but two children are involved. Please send me any information regarding the such. Thank you for your continued assistance on this matter.

I strongly recommend that you get in touch with an attorney-mediator in Michigan who is licensed to practice law in Michigan and who has been specifically trained in divorce mediation and is familiar with the matrimonial laws of the State of Michigan. If you send me your fax number, I will send you a short […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #38: I have been separated from my husband for over a year. He is suing me now for child custody, alimony and wants overnight visitation rights. How can I get full custody and not give him overnight visitation rights as he is an alcoholic, drug addict, has dwi over 4 years ago. I live in NJ. My child is only 20 months old. Please advise. Thank You

I can not over emphasized the benefits of resolving separation and divorce matters between spouses through the assistance of an attorney-mediator especially trained in divorce mediation. Try to convince your spouse to mediate your separation and divorce, including all of the issues you mention above.If he is unwilling to mediate this matter, you will have […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #30: Can a judge site the husband for contempt, if the husband refuses to pay a law guardian. A law guardian appointed by the court for the purpose of interviewing the husband, the wife and the child and to report to the court his findings. The law guardian interviews the wife and the child, but not the husband. The law guardian makes a demand for 50% fee compensation from the husband. The husband claims that the law guardian fees are exorbitant and in addition the law guardian provided no services to him “he never met the law guardian” and in fact the law guardian provided the court with a biased opinion. Does the judge have the legal right to force the husband to pay or site him for contempt? Shouldn’t the law guardian seek legal avenue for payment on his own? Please respond Thank you .

In order to answer your question, I must know what state you are living in (please see my request in previous question). Once you enter the adversarial legal system, you are subjecting yourself and your children to the vagaries of the judicial system and the subjectivity of the particular judge who is presiding. I am […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #26: I am currently involved in a situation that is very bitter. I would like to know the following: 1. Is mediation helpful if one side is bitter? 2. How can I convince the bitter side to go to mediation? 3. What are the fees for this service. Thanks.

In order to take advantage of the mediation process in divorce the parties to not have to agree on all or any matters other than two which are 1) they do not want to give all of the hard and money which they have acquired over the course of their marriage to their attorneys; and […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #25: Already divorced, reason: abandonment First lawyer suggested to settle on the property because it would cost too much to go to court. My ex-husband was suppose to sign the property over to me for a ten thousand dollar settlement. He never signed anything, I never paid him. He took me to court for breach of contract. Second lawyer took my money, wrote one letter to the courts regarding this issue. There was a court date, that neither myself or my lawyer was never notified. There was a judgment in his favor. I spoke to my second lawyer, who said he will write a letter to vacate that judgment. NOTHING has happened. I have called my Second lawyer several times, have gone to see him, but he was not there. He has not answered any of my calls. Now I have received an eviction notice, which is very confusing to me because this is a condominium. I know I need a new lawyer, but I need one I can afford since I am very tight on my budget. How do I handle this situation. How can I get the original settlement dismissed, and how can I fight this. Thank you for your attention in this matter.

It is apparent from your question that you have encountered part of the basic problem of the adversarial system. Unfortunately, you have not had much success with selecting a proper attorney to represent your interest in court. It is essential that you receive experienced, professional legal counsel. If you do not know of such person, […]

LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.

Divorcesolutions.com

Divorce Solutions

Question #51: My husband and I are divorcing and about to go to mediation. Is there anything I can do to prepare for the procedure?

Question #43: Can you help us with our divorce?

Question #41: WHAT ARE THE QUESTIONS THAT YOU SHOULD ASK WHEN SELECTING A MEDIATOR?

Question #26: I am currently involved in a situation that is very bitter. I would like to know the following: 1. Is mediation helpful if one side is bitter? 2. How can I convince the bitter side to go to mediation? 3. What are the fees for this service. Thanks.