BENEFITS OF MEDIATION

Oct 29, 2018

Question #18: I am considering a legal separation. I have two young children and do not want to return to work full-time. I would like the process to be fair to me since I have I will be raising these children and supporting the house. I also do not want to endure courtroom battles. My husband will be cooperative. Will using a mediator provide me with the financial support to go it alone? Would I benefit financially from using my own lawyer? How do I know that I am getting the best I can for myself using a mediator?

I cannot over emphasize the benefit of using an attorney-mediator experienced in the field of mediation instead of entering into the abyss of the adversarial system. Through mediation you and your spouse will be able to arrive at a reasonable understanding which will provide you with the financial support you need in order to carry […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #17: My wife and I are presently stationed in Sasebo Japan, would we still be able to utilize your service. We have discussed a parting agreement, and the service you offer appears to best suit our wishes.

We can assist you in mediating your divorce wherever you are presently located. The real question is which state in the United States has jurisdiction over your case. In order to answer that question I must know where you were married, where you lived during the course of the marriage, if you have any minor […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #16: My husband and I were married 5 years ago in Florida and still reside here. We have a 3 year old daughter. I asked for a divorce and my husband refuses to cooperate. He claims he can make me happy and blames all of our relational problems on me. He says he will fight for custody of our daughter and the fact that I admitted to kissing another man is enough to take her away from me if I pursue a divorce. He also wants me to leave the house without her and he refuses to leave. Also, he recently talked me into a consolidation loan against our home to pay off our credit cards and lease a very expensive vehicle which we both signed on. Without his income I wouldn’t be able to live alone in the house or keep the car. If I filed bankruptcy would I still be liable for the house and car if I moved out? Is kissing someone else considered adultery and cause me to lose my daughter? I’m a wonderful mother to her, my work history is far better then his, I earn more money then he does and I take care of most of her needs. Would a mediator be helpful in my case?

I believe that consultation with an experienced family counselor could assist you and your spouse in resolving some of your marital problems. Every effort should be made to keep the marriage in tact for the sake of your daughter. If however the marriage is untenable, you should seek out an experienced attorney mediator specially trained […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #15: MY Husband and I have been separated for over five years. I’m now seeking a divorce so I can get on with my life. We went through a divorce process already but he declined to sign the divorce paper. He wants a 100 mile radius clause, but I don’t want to be restricted to where I can live. Let along 100 miles near him. I have been the sole provider for my child from birth. He is also a dead bet dad. What should I do. I live in New York City.

I strongly suggest that you try mediation rather than try to force a settlement in court under the pressure of the adversarial system. I am sure that a resolution of this matter can be achieved if the parties are interested in resolving the matter rather than finding another matter to argue about. Please call me […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #14: I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years and have 3 kids (8,3,and 1) and my husband wants to divorce without a lawyer and I don’t know if I will be losing any thing by settling out of court. We had a boat he recently sold and he said I was entitled to half by he has not given me anything yet. I am also not able to access any money in his account because he had taken me off of his account 5 years ago. I feel like a hostage and we only have 1vehicle that we have to use. He had taken my daughter (when she was little) to his parents house 2 hours away and had me give up our other daughter for adoption when she was born before he would let me have my oldest home and he will have the two older ones at his parents house again this weekend and I fear that he will try to take them from me by keeping them up there away from me. I am at a loss for any thing and I desperately need some input. I am in Collin County in Texas. I need an attorney by have no money available to me. Can an attorney tap into his account to pay the attorney fee? Being married to him should make it legal shouldn’t it?

You should discuss the possibility of mediating your divorce with your husband. If he refuses, you must seek legal assistance to help you resolve your marriage situation. If you are unable to afford an attorney, the court will make your husband pay for your attorney’s fees; the attorney will know how to apply for a […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #13: Divorce mediation is mandated by Family Law court in Santa Clara County, California. It does not work. The vast majority of parties opt to go to court. Why not a divorce arbitration service rather than a mediation service? Your answer may be, mediation gets both parties to agree and work out solutions, thus accept outcomes. Again, at least in Santa Clara County, mediation is not being used extensively. One or both parties think they may “win” in the court setting. Their lawyers may have a hand in creating this thinking. Court, after all is arbitration – decision by means of a judgment handed down by someone, in this case a judge. Arbitration by non-legal personnel (i.e., no lawyers or judges) would be cheaper for the parties and probably achieve the same outcome. I would appreciate and welcome your comments. I am interested in establishing an arbitration service for divorcing couples in the Bay area. In advance, thank you for the benefit of your thoughts.

Mediation does work, but it is not for everybody. Thereare only two things that the parties must agree upon. 1. that they do not want to give all of their hard earned money which they accumulated during the course of their marriage to their attorneys. 2. That they do not require a “pound of flesh” […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #12: My wife is seeking a divorce. We are in NY. We have 2 kids and live on LI. We do pretty well financially. We both have no reason why either one of us can’t have custody of the children. We are both good parents. The big difference though, I make sure I’m home every night to make the kids dinner, bath them, and take care of them. she used to work and get home no earlier than 7 PM. Since we have been talking last Sept. and throwing the idea of divorce around, she basically broke down to her boss and cried about how much she works. She gets home now mostly 6.30. We share equally in the taking care of the kids. She buys them stuff, I play games and sports with them. A lot of the weekends I spend time doing the guy thing and taking care of and maintaining the home. Although this takes away from spending it with the kids, I do try my best to be with them on the weekend. I just can’t all the time. So her interpretation is that since I don’t spend every bleeding moment with them, I’m not entitled to custody. Well, the house isn’t a hotel, someone has to maintain it. Basically, I do it all. I have raised these kids since birth. I’m the one they go to when sick and hurt. She backed off and always said she wasn’t maternal, I was. How can I guarantee custody. She left in Jan. and went to her moms; she wasn’t sure if she wanted out of her marriage so she tried separation. She left the kids with me because at the time, felt they were better off. She slept with some guy she met last Oct. while we were together. We started spending more and more weekends together and instead of going home Sun. night, she started to stay over with me. A day here and there; she has been back in for the last 2 months, although a lot of her items (clothing) are still at her mothers. Now she refuses to leave and says she wants it all. Where can I go with this?

Before you go any where with this, you should try to resolve your marital problems with a marriage counselor.You have two children, and from what you indicate it seems that they are young and need their parents. If after trying marriage counseling, you are convinced that divorce is the only solution, I suggest that you […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #11: I live in Rochester New York. You are so far away; can you help?

I am located in New York City and service the metropolitan area. Rochester is too far for me to be of practical service to you ,but I strongly recommend that you contact the local bar association and request that they put you in touch with an experienced, attorney-mediator who has practiced divorce mediation and is […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #10: Two people, one mediator? Or, should we each get a mediator of our own?

Unlike the adversarial system where each party hires his/her attorney to represent each party’s interest, in mediation the attorney-mediator remains neutral, not representing either party but facilitating the process and controlling the procedure in which the parties themselves determine all of the resolutions necessary to preparing a Separation Agreement and ultimately file the divorce papers. […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #8: I am a 27 yr old man, who has been separated from my wife for 5 months now. My 7 yr old son spends every weekend with me. My wife and I are surely getting divorced, but I have no clue regarding how to start the divorce process. We were married in Florida, but our permanent residence is in NY. I am looking for advice on how I should begin our divorce process. How long will my divorce take to be final? My divorce is uncontested, so are lawyers and courts necessary? Is a child custody battle necessary? I would greatly appreciate any advice or information you can offer! I am desperate for info! Thank you in advance!

It appears from what you have stated that New York State would have jurisdiction over this divorce proceeding. I strongly urge you to contact me at 212-370-1660 to discuss this matter in greater length. From the information you provide, it sounds like you both would benefit from mediating the divorce instead of litigating. The length […]

LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.

Divorcesolutions.com

Divorce Solutions

Question #17: My wife and I are presently stationed in Sasebo Japan, would we still be able to utilize your service. We have discussed a parting agreement, and the service you offer appears to best suit our wishes.

Question #11: I live in Rochester New York. You are so far away; can you help?

Question #10: Two people, one mediator? Or, should we each get a mediator of our own?