Question #12: My wife is seeking a divorce. We are in NY. We have 2 kids and live on LI. We do pretty well financially. We both have no reason why either one of us can’t have custody of the children. We are both good parents. The big difference though, I make sure I’m home every night to make the kids dinner, bath them, and take care of them. she used to work and get home no earlier than 7 PM. Since we have been talking last Sept. and throwing the idea of divorce around, she basically broke down to her boss and cried about how much she works. She gets home now mostly 6.30. We share equally in the taking care of the kids. She buys them stuff, I play games and sports with them. A lot of the weekends I spend time doing the guy thing and taking care of and maintaining the home. Although this takes away from spending it with the kids, I do try my best to be with them on the weekend. I just can’t all the time. So her interpretation is that since I don’t spend every bleeding moment with them, I’m not entitled to custody. Well, the house isn’t a hotel, someone has to maintain it. Basically, I do it all. I have raised these kids since birth. I’m the one they go to when sick and hurt. She backed off and always said she wasn’t maternal, I was. How can I guarantee custody. She left in Jan. and went to her moms; she wasn’t sure if she wanted out of her marriage so she tried separation. She left the kids with me because at the time, felt they were better off. She slept with some guy she met last Oct. while we were together. We started spending more and more weekends together and instead of going home Sun. night, she started to stay over with me. A day here and there; she has been back in for the last 2 months, although a lot of her items (clothing) are still at her mothers. Now she refuses to leave and says she wants it all. Where can I go with this?

Before you go any where with this, you should try to resolve your marital problems with a marriage counselor.You have two children, and from what you indicate it seems that they are young and need their parents.
If after trying marriage counseling, you are convinced that divorce is the only solution, I suggest that you give me a call at 212-370-1660 to arrange for a meeting to discuss mediating the divorce, which will among other things deal with the custody question.
If this question of custody were to go before a judge, he would make his determination based on the best interest of the children.
Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions