Q&A

I am a resident of NY, and after 19 years, the end of the marriage is at hand. To divorce, do you have to be legally separated, or can you just enter into a divorce if you meet the guidelines set by the state, i.e., no intimate relations for one year, living apart for one year, etc.? On the question of alimony, how is that determined if both spouses have always worked? Insofar as the house is concerned, neither of us can afford the house without the other, so then comes the division of property. How does that work? Children are 16 & 11, respectively, and I assume they will live with their mother. No battle on custody just visitation rights. How is that determined. Please advise. Thanks.

My brother and his wife have been married for 10 yrs and reside in NY. Through marriage, he became a US citizen. But now she is acting up. She has found somebody else. My brother put her thru school. But she doesn’t work in that profession. She spends a lot of money. One time he took up two jobs to meet the ends. They don’t have any sexual relations for years. She is verbally & physically abusive. She stays in the house like a motel. She comes and goes; however, she wants. They do own a home together. Now my brother has told her that he doesn’t want to live with her. But she doesn’t want to move out. How can he file for divorce? If she refuses to sign for divorce, how can he get a divorce? Is there an option for it? How do they settle on the house? Though they have signed together, she hasn’t paid a single penny in that house. Would she be liable to pay the mortgage? If he needs to sell the house, how can he settle on it? How can he prove her adultery? Can we hire a private investigator for that? Would that be legal in the sight of the law. How does this divorce work in the State of NY? 

My husband and I live in California. He filed for divorce about eight months ago, and now we have reconciled, and he is moving back into our home. The divorce wasn’t finalized, no financial documents were ever filed. Do we need to do anything to stop the proceedings? If so, what. Thank you.

If a couple wishes to have a post-nuptial agreement in New York State, “acknowledged,” which agency does the acknowledging?

 I live in Portland, OR, and I want to know where I can get annulment papers, including directions. I have only been married for four months, but he has become violent. I was hit once and filed a restraining order. Please tell me where I may get the forms/instructions that I need.

My husband and I are New York City residents. We have decided to separate then divorce as soon as we have met the one-year legal requirement. Between us, we have already reached agreement on custody of our nine-year-old son, child support, and the distribution of our belongings (contents of our home). We have no significant assets to divide. We would like to pursue a mediated divorce but are concerned about the cost. This is the only thing holding us back at this point. At present, we would be unable to afford even standard adversarial legal services. 

What is the legal procedure for divorce in New York? Does the state require that couples go for counseling first or during the “legal” separation?