MEDIATION V. LITIGATION – DIVORCE SOLUTIONS SERVICES – Page 7

Oct 30, 2018

Question #21: My wife decided she wants out of the marriage because she doesn’t love me. We own our own home, have two children and have no other debts. We have amicably made an agreement. She does not want maintenance or any of my pension. Is there any reason that I could be forced to pay maintenance if she declines it. We have also agreed that she can remain the occupant of our home with the children for seven yrs. or when my daughter reaches 18 yrs. old. The house will then be sold and the proceeds split 50/50. Cohabitation will not be allowed. Is there a problem with any of our agreement as you see it? Thank you.

In order to concretize your understanding regarding the above issues, you must reduce them to writing in a Separation Agreement which you both must sign. There are other issues that also must be determined, such as child custody, and child support, payment for educational and medical costs of the children. All these and other issues, […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #20: I am considering a legal separation. I have two young children and do not want to return to work full-time. I would like the process to be fair to me since I have I will be raising these children and supporting the house. I also do not want to endure courtroom battles. My husband will be cooperative. Will using a mediator provide me with the financial support to go it alone? Would I benefit financially from using my own lawyer? How do I know that I am getting the best I can for myself using a mediator?

Mediation will provide you and your husband a forum in which you will be in control of the decisions that are being made that will effect your life and the life of your children. You and your spouse will decide the issues of child custody, child support, spousal support, and division of marital assets, among […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #19: My husband and I were married nine months ago in NH, and have resided in NC for the last six months. We incurred debt jointly before the marriage, on credit cards in my name. The debt paid mostly for furniture, and for educational equipment and material used to help him qualify for better jobs, which he has since obtained. He has committed adultery in the past three months, as I was absent for much of the marriage due to some training. We know we are not right for each other and shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. Taking my situation into consideration, would I seek a divorce, an uncontested divorce, or an annulment (I’m not sure of the differences among the three), and would I pursue the proceedings in the state where I married, or in the present state of residency? Thank you

With regard to which state has jurisdiction, most states require a minimum residency before it will assume jurisdiction over a divorce matter. Please check with your local bar association to see how long the residency requirement is in your state. Regarding whether you should file for divorce, uncontested divorce, or an annulment, each state has […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #18: I am considering a legal separation. I have two young children and do not want to return to work full-time. I would like the process to be fair to me since I have I will be raising these children and supporting the house. I also do not want to endure courtroom battles. My husband will be cooperative. Will using a mediator provide me with the financial support to go it alone? Would I benefit financially from using my own lawyer? How do I know that I am getting the best I can for myself using a mediator?

I cannot over emphasize the benefit of using an attorney-mediator experienced in the field of mediation instead of entering into the abyss of the adversarial system. Through mediation you and your spouse will be able to arrive at a reasonable understanding which will provide you with the financial support you need in order to carry […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #17: My wife and I are presently stationed in Sasebo Japan, would we still be able to utilize your service. We have discussed a parting agreement, and the service you offer appears to best suit our wishes.

We can assist you in mediating your divorce wherever you are presently located. The real question is which state in the United States has jurisdiction over your case. In order to answer that question I must know where you were married, where you lived during the course of the marriage, if you have any minor […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #16: My husband and I were married 5 years ago in Florida and still reside here. We have a 3 year old daughter. I asked for a divorce and my husband refuses to cooperate. He claims he can make me happy and blames all of our relational problems on me. He says he will fight for custody of our daughter and the fact that I admitted to kissing another man is enough to take her away from me if I pursue a divorce. He also wants me to leave the house without her and he refuses to leave. Also, he recently talked me into a consolidation loan against our home to pay off our credit cards and lease a very expensive vehicle which we both signed on. Without his income I wouldn’t be able to live alone in the house or keep the car. If I filed bankruptcy would I still be liable for the house and car if I moved out? Is kissing someone else considered adultery and cause me to lose my daughter? I’m a wonderful mother to her, my work history is far better then his, I earn more money then he does and I take care of most of her needs. Would a mediator be helpful in my case?

I believe that consultation with an experienced family counselor could assist you and your spouse in resolving some of your marital problems. Every effort should be made to keep the marriage in tact for the sake of your daughter. If however the marriage is untenable, you should seek out an experienced attorney mediator specially trained […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #15: MY Husband and I have been separated for over five years. I’m now seeking a divorce so I can get on with my life. We went through a divorce process already but he declined to sign the divorce paper. He wants a 100 mile radius clause, but I don’t want to be restricted to where I can live. Let along 100 miles near him. I have been the sole provider for my child from birth. He is also a dead bet dad. What should I do. I live in New York City.

I strongly suggest that you try mediation rather than try to force a settlement in court under the pressure of the adversarial system. I am sure that a resolution of this matter can be achieved if the parties are interested in resolving the matter rather than finding another matter to argue about. Please call me […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #14: I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years and have 3 kids (8,3,and 1) and my husband wants to divorce without a lawyer and I don’t know if I will be losing any thing by settling out of court. We had a boat he recently sold and he said I was entitled to half by he has not given me anything yet. I am also not able to access any money in his account because he had taken me off of his account 5 years ago. I feel like a hostage and we only have 1vehicle that we have to use. He had taken my daughter (when she was little) to his parents house 2 hours away and had me give up our other daughter for adoption when she was born before he would let me have my oldest home and he will have the two older ones at his parents house again this weekend and I fear that he will try to take them from me by keeping them up there away from me. I am at a loss for any thing and I desperately need some input. I am in Collin County in Texas. I need an attorney by have no money available to me. Can an attorney tap into his account to pay the attorney fee? Being married to him should make it legal shouldn’t it?

You should discuss the possibility of mediating your divorce with your husband. If he refuses, you must seek legal assistance to help you resolve your marriage situation. If you are unable to afford an attorney, the court will make your husband pay for your attorney’s fees; the attorney will know how to apply for a […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #13: Divorce mediation is mandated by Family Law court in Santa Clara County, California. It does not work. The vast majority of parties opt to go to court. Why not a divorce arbitration service rather than a mediation service? Your answer may be, mediation gets both parties to agree and work out solutions, thus accept outcomes. Again, at least in Santa Clara County, mediation is not being used extensively. One or both parties think they may “win” in the court setting. Their lawyers may have a hand in creating this thinking. Court, after all is arbitration – decision by means of a judgment handed down by someone, in this case a judge. Arbitration by non-legal personnel (i.e., no lawyers or judges) would be cheaper for the parties and probably achieve the same outcome. I would appreciate and welcome your comments. I am interested in establishing an arbitration service for divorcing couples in the Bay area. In advance, thank you for the benefit of your thoughts.

Mediation does work, but it is not for everybody. Thereare only two things that the parties must agree upon. 1. that they do not want to give all of their hard earned money which they accumulated during the course of their marriage to their attorneys. 2. That they do not require a “pound of flesh” […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #12: My wife is seeking a divorce. We are in NY. We have 2 kids and live on LI. We do pretty well financially. We both have no reason why either one of us can’t have custody of the children. We are both good parents. The big difference though, I make sure I’m home every night to make the kids dinner, bath them, and take care of them. she used to work and get home no earlier than 7 PM. Since we have been talking last Sept. and throwing the idea of divorce around, she basically broke down to her boss and cried about how much she works. She gets home now mostly 6.30. We share equally in the taking care of the kids. She buys them stuff, I play games and sports with them. A lot of the weekends I spend time doing the guy thing and taking care of and maintaining the home. Although this takes away from spending it with the kids, I do try my best to be with them on the weekend. I just can’t all the time. So her interpretation is that since I don’t spend every bleeding moment with them, I’m not entitled to custody. Well, the house isn’t a hotel, someone has to maintain it. Basically, I do it all. I have raised these kids since birth. I’m the one they go to when sick and hurt. She backed off and always said she wasn’t maternal, I was. How can I guarantee custody. She left in Jan. and went to her moms; she wasn’t sure if she wanted out of her marriage so she tried separation. She left the kids with me because at the time, felt they were better off. She slept with some guy she met last Oct. while we were together. We started spending more and more weekends together and instead of going home Sun. night, she started to stay over with me. A day here and there; she has been back in for the last 2 months, although a lot of her items (clothing) are still at her mothers. Now she refuses to leave and says she wants it all. Where can I go with this?

Before you go any where with this, you should try to resolve your marital problems with a marriage counselor.You have two children, and from what you indicate it seems that they are young and need their parents. If after trying marriage counseling, you are convinced that divorce is the only solution, I suggest that you […]

LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.

Divorcesolutions.com

Divorce Solutions

MEDIATION V. LITIGATION - DIVORCE SOLUTIONS SERVICES

Question #17: My wife and I are presently stationed in Sasebo Japan, would we still be able to utilize your service. We have discussed a parting agreement, and the service you offer appears to best suit our wishes.