MC3

Nov 2006, I was granted a divorce by Nassau County in NY. I have three children, and I am currently paying my ex-wife $2500 / month for maintenance and $2500.00/month in child support. Also, I pay $5000.00/year towards extra-curricular activities for the children. My gross annual income before paying alimony and child support is $110,000. I have two questions I would love to have answered. 1) Shortly after the divorce was finalized, my ex-wife informed me that she was starting a county job after the New Year. (she was unemployed throughout our 15-year marriage). I don’t know what her salary is at this new job, but I can estimate that she is making about $35,000 – $40,000/year. My question is, can I petition the courts to reduce the child support payment or the $5000 extra-curricular payment? How soon can I do this? Is there a waiting period with the courts since the divorce was finalized three months ago?
2)My children’s ages are 12(G), 9(B), and 6(B). My ex always complains that she doesn’t want to ‘waste’ money on a babysitter. Recently on my ex’s scheduled weekend, my daughter was participating in a dance competition in another state, which my ex was attending. This was for two nights. I offered to take the two boys for the weekend, but my ex told me no since she had it under control and taken care of already. When questioned, who would be watching the boys, she told me to “F” myself and that it was none of my business. I kept asking, and she eventually hung up on me – never returning my calls. The next day she went off to the dance competition in another state – I drove past the house no my way home from work, and no one was there. I called the house five times and left two voicemails, but no one answered, and no one returned my calls. I then called my ex on her cell phone and left her a voicemail telling her that I wanted to know where the boys were. I explained that I just wanted to make sure they were ok. Long story short, I had to threaten her, telling her that I would call the cops since she was out of town and I couldn’t find my two boys. She then called the boys and told the oldest (9 yrs) to call me. When I questioned her about the contact details that she gave to this person watching them, she said to me that “Dan (9 yr old) knows how to contact you – your number is in the book”. I never heard from my kids that night. I called their house early the next morning, and my oldest son answered. My ex’s boyfriend of 3 months was watching them for the weekend. When I asked my son what number he had for me, he confirmed it was a cell that I haven’t owned in 4 years. I am truly upset that (1) she went out of town without telling me who was watching the kids (2) that she didn’t make sure that the person watching them had my contact details and vice versa (what would happen if something went wrong with the kids and my ex is out of state??? I am very active in their lives. I go to every (try to)sporting event, and I have them every other weekend and every Tuesday. During the Christmas break, I took time off from work and had them for the entire week. I was generous to my ex financially because I wanted to make sure the kids would be taken care of, when in fact, my youngest comes with holes in his shoes. My concern is this summer. I am already paying a bunch to her, and I am fearful that she won’t get proper babysitters. What can I do? What are my rights?

I have a 15-year old daughter with a woman to whom I wasn’t married. My daughter spent the first nine years of her life living with her mother, during which time I paid full New York state child support (17%). Six years ago, she came to live with me, my wife, and two other children, based on the mutual consent of her mother and us. During the six years, my daughter has had regular visitation with her mother (other reasons weekends, school holidays, etc.). Her mother has paid no child support other than the costs she incurs when my daughter is with her, and for incidentals like occasional clothing purchases, primarily due to a lack of funds. She has not held a full-time job at any time during the six years for health. Her mother and I have never had a formal custody agreement filed in New York (where we both live), working out our arrangements via mutual consent the best we could. My daughter is now interested in moving back with her mother for a variety of personal reasons, and I have two questions: 1. At 15, what rights does she have in determining who her custodial parent will be? Could I be compelled to let her go back to her mother? 2. If she were to return to her mother, would I be required to resume 17% child support payments, or could I work with her mother on a mutually acceptable support amount that is less than the 17%? Could such an agreement be made binding in court even if it were below 17%? Any assistance would be appreciated.

I have been divorced since 1991. My ex-husband was cheating and wanted a divorce. However, I agreed to take the blame on the divorce decree as the one who abandoned, not knowing at the time the consequences. My daughter is now 17, and he is trying to convince her to move in with him so he won’t have to pay child support. My current salary will not suffice for me to survive. I am currently trying to finish my education and become self-sufficient. However, I owe money from not having sufficient income, even with child support. He is an airline pilot making at least $200,000. /yr. Is there anything I can do? Also, in my divorce decree, it states that the order is subject to change as deemed by the supreme court. Please notify me as to what I may be able to do.