My husband and I have been married for four years. We have a two-year-old son. He is military, and I was until our child was born. We both agreed for me to get out of the service to take care of the child and go back to college. Everything we own is in his name even though we bought it after marriage. He has not been a very good husband, and I am tired of being miserable. I want out after two years of trying to work it out. I have no job, no car, and no income. He has agreed to let me keep the car, and he will pay for it. We lived in TX, and I decided to move back to VA with my family. I want him to be able to have a good relationship with our son, but it seems almost impossible. I don’t want this to be ugly, and I still want to be on good terms with him. I don’t have the money to fight him in court over the property. How much support is he required to give me until the divorce is final? The only bills we have are house, car insurance, etc. There are no credit cards or lines of credit. He has almost $1000 left over a month after all bills are paid. He says that if I decided for sure to divorce, then I am cut off to any financial support besides child support, and he is just paying the car payment. He wants to keep the house, and I do not contest that even though there is over $10,000 in equity in it. How can I do this peacefully? I can not afford daycare so that I can go to school. I will get my GI. Bill in Oct., but that is not helping me now. Jobs in my area (southwestern VA) are scarce, and most people want full time and will not hire for a few weeks only. I would appreciate it if you can help any at all.

Question #86

hi: I just wanted to find out what the NY state laws towards alimony are and does it also relate to someone who is on a foreign work permit.

Question #100

I have been married for a year and a half. I believe there is infidelity on the part of my husband. I continuously find phone numbers, condoms (we don’t use them), receipts for gifts bought for other women(I know for a fact they were for women), disappearing acts, etc. I tried to talk with my husband to get to the root of the problem, which only further aggravated the situation. He decided that since I don’t trust him, he was leaving and has been gone for about two months. In the meantime, I have been left without financial support and have gotten behind in my bills. We both worked, but my salary almost doubles his. This does not make handling the bills on my own any easier since without his income I am living above my means. What recourse do I have financially if I pursue separation? I would hate to be supporting him financially because I make more money. We have no children together, but I have three from a previous relationship. I want to separate, but I surely don’t want to pay him for leaving me.

Question #108

My mother-in-law was awarded alimony after a divorce in New York over 25 years ago. About 15 years ago, her ex stopped gradually stopped making payments. Because she was scared, my mother-in-law did nothing about it. She is now about to be laid off from her job. Is she entitled to back alimony and future alimony? Or, was there a limit on the time she could fight for the money she was/is owed? She has never remarried.


My husband is a Suffolk County police officer who has insurance coverage for my children from his job and me. If I get a legal separation, can I also stay on the medical insurance? I Want a divorce because he is an alcoholic and has been abusing me physically and mentally since we were married over four years. I live in constant fear of him. He makes a handsome salary but refuses to give me money to maintain the household or support the children. He has a girlfriend, with whom he spends all of his spare time and totally neglects the kids and me. I live in New York State. How much would I receive if I was to legally separate or divorce him, both as spousal support and child support?

Question #124

Hello. I am 36 yrs old and have been married for 6 yrs. My wife and I have agreed that we need a separation. We have two children. The car the condo, all of our possessions we attained during the marriage. I am working, but my wife is currently unemployed. She is about to get a job that will potentially pay her six figures(double what I make). I am willing to pay child support, but what happens when she gets the job? Am I still responsible for paying her funds even though she makes double what I do? We have agreed on terms for the separation but just need to have it finalized. Can you help me with the name of someone in Brooklyn or manhattan that can help? Thank you for your help in this matter.


I have been married to a man for eight years who has a spinal injury and is confined to a wheelchair. When we first got married, he was walking with canes, and he told me that it was temporary that he would walk again. Shortly after we got married, he sustained a fracture and became permanently confined to a wheelchair. Our relationship has deteriorated. He is now impotent. We haven’t had sex in over five years, and I have never cheated on him. I am now 51 years old. I want a divorce, but the house is on his name, and I have nothing; no job, no money. Every time I find a job, he forces me to quit.
• I am not a greedy person. I just want to be compensated for all the time I gave to him.
• I have had no life since the day I married him.
• I would appreciate your advice on how I can go about getting a divorce from this man and be able to get something to start a new life. I was a medical transcriptionist before I married him, and I can still get back in the job market and be able to take care of myself. But right now, I have no money of my own.

Question #127

My husband and I have been married for 20 years. We live in New York. He left the house. We have two children together. I make more money than him. Do I have to pay him alimony? Does he get half of my pension? Do I have to be legally separated for him to only get 1/2 pension for the time we were married?


We live in NY. I have three boys, 21, 18,16. I never worked. There were four properties to be divided, laundromats, contracting businesses. My x hadn’t filed taxes since 96, and much more. My lawyer was horrible. I consulted other lawyers to see if they would take over my case. They wanted a lot of money because of the mess, and I didn’t have the money to give them. On the day of the inquest, we were in the halls of the courts trying to split properties based on a “draft” settlement. My lawyer never went over it with me or discussed with me my lifestyle and that of my boys or the cost of living for my boys and me. My boys were the biggest concern to me, and she repeatedly told me the two oldest are not my problem. It was very unprofessional. I went before a judge for an inquest – I did not know what this was. I was tired and disgusted. Never thinking or knowing this was my final contract. My x was in contempt for never returning furniture. Ididn’t have our art work appraised which he stole out of the house (over $100,000).He refused to give me maintenance and child support for two months and failed to make repairs on the home, etc. My lawyer did nothing even though I was angry – she told me to stop worrying about the little things. And since all the court orders that were ordered in the previous months were ignored, I thought initialing the papers was just temporary – my divorce settlement is only seven pages, a lot of cross-outs – a disgrace. Medical was never mentioned, but in the documents sent to the judge to be filed, my lawyer added that I would be fully responsible for medical for myself and my youngest son.
• Regarding my youngest son’s education – she wrote that we would go to court if we could not agree.
• My x is also suing me because I have not transferred deed. After the inquest, I asked my lawyer to do a title search on the two properties I was awarded. She did it on the marital property. With the transfer of the deed, she sent me a copy of a judgment or lien. There is a $200,000 lien on my property; I refused to transfer the deeds because no one can tell me if the lien will come off. Another property I received has satisfaction. On the day of the inquest, I was told I would have to pay a man $2300 a month cash because my x said he used the building for collateral but didn’t explain for what. I wanted to see the note – still haven’t. So next week I am going to court. My x is suing me for legal fees,want’s to get sheriffs to take baseball cards out of the house, force me to transfer deeds and to pay a loan shark. I am going to court alone – can’t afford a lawyer. As I said, this divorce was a disgrace and handled very unprofessionally. Any advice for me would be appreciated? Do you think I have grounds to sue my lawyer, and if you do, can you recommend anyone?

Question #133

One of my friends was married in February 2003 and has now decided to separate from his spouse but is trying to be understanding about her situation. Her situation is that she is awaiting citizenship papers. Now I am worried about him. When the time comes, she may want to take spousal support from him because she works off the books. He says she is a good person just that he is not in love, so he doesn’t believe she will do something like that. However, I am a woman, and I know better. They don’t have any children from one another; however, she did give birth to a stillborn last month. They both live in NYC. What are the laws of alimony in this case? Thank You.