I have been married to a man for eight years who has a spinal injury and is confined to a wheelchair. When we first got married, he was walking with canes, and he told me that it was temporary that he would walk again. Shortly after we got married, he sustained a fracture and became permanently confined to a wheelchair. Our relationship has deteriorated. He is now impotent. We haven’t had sex in over five years, and I have never cheated on him. I am now 51 years old. I want a divorce, but the house is on his name, and I have nothing; no job, no money. Every time I find a job, he forces me to quit.
• I am not a greedy person. I just want to be compensated for all the time I gave to him.
• I have had no life since the day I married him.
• I would appreciate your advice on how I can go about getting a divorce from this man and be able to get something to start a new life. I was a medical transcriptionist before I married him, and I can still get back in the job market and be able to take care of myself. But right now, I have no money of my own.
From the facts which you present, it sounds like family counseling should be your first choice and not divorce mediation. Severe sickness or disability of one spouse places a tremendous emotional and physical burden on the healthy spouse, and it is not unusual for you to react in the way you are. I strongly suggest you seek out an experienced family counselor to help both of you. Get home care assistance to take part of the burden off of you and to provide you with some free time to go out and to enjoy yourself with your friends and family.
If, after family counseling, you still believe that divorce is the only solution, I would be happy to discuss the matter with you at greater length.
Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions