GROUNDS

Oct 29, 2018

Question #55: My wife left me 1½ years ago and went to live with her mother where she still is today. She has been asking for a legal separation for most of that time, and I have refused. I held hope that if we were casually separated we might resolve whatever differences we had and get back together without going through the courts. We have been married for 28 years (in NY State), but the last 3 years before she left were strained. She held out sex for almost 2 years and communications between us was breaking down during those years. She retained the services of a lawyer shortly after she left, and that lawyer asked me to respond to her request for the separation. I refused because I felt entitled to know her grounds, but none were ever given. Now after 1-½ years, her lawyer sent a letter with my wife’s “grounds” for separation. The list contains fabrications, exaggerations, and lies that I am convinced her lawyer talked her into. I’ve had enough, and now I want a divorce. Can I file on the grounds of abandonment? Can I prevent her from filing these lies in a court record by forcing her to prove her statements? Finally, is there any way I can have her lawyer reprimanded for promoting these serious allegations about my character?

Yo can file for divorce based on the grounds of abandonment. I strongly recommend you mediate rather than litigate your divorce. It is cheaper, faster and less emotionally draining. IF YOU MEDIATE THE DIVORCE, YOU CAN AGREE UPON THE GROUNDS AND CAN AVOID THE “FABRICATIONS” BECOMING PART OF THE RECORD!If you are located in the […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #52: MY EX-HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN SEPERATED FOR 7 MONTHS NOW. GOT MARRIED ON DEC OF 1999. I SUPPORTED “US” FOR A YEAR AND A HALF WHILE HE CLAIMED TO BE LOOKING FOR A JOB. MY EX-HUSBAND HAD JOBS FOR APPROX 6 MONTHS ALTOGETHER. NO KIDS, NO JOINT PROPERTY OR FINANCES. UNFORTUNATELY, WE ARE NOT LEGALLY SEPARATED BY THE COURT. HE AND I WISHES TO DIVORCE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. BUT MY RESEARCH TELLS ME THAT HE AND I HAVE TO BE LEGALLY SEPARATED FOR A YEAR IN ORDER FOR A DIVORCE. OUR SITUATION DOES NOT INCLUDE ANY OF THE SIX GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE. IT’S INCOMPATIBILITY, HOWEVER NEW YORK STATE DOES NOT RECOGNIZE THAT. I NEED SOME MORE INFORMATION AND THE BEST WAY TO GET A DIVORCE ASAP. MY EX AND I HAVE AGREED ON THE DIVORCE AND WISHES TO EXPEDITE IT. IT WILL BE AN UNCONTESTED DIVORCE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND PATIENCE. I HOPE I WILL BE HEARING FROM YOU SOON.

You do not have to wait a year to get your divorce. We can do it much faster through mediation and will find an appropriate ground on which to file. If you are located in the NYC metro area, please call me at 212-370-1660 to arrange for all of us to meet to discuss mediating […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #51: Dear Sir: I have gone through many of your question and answer sessions and very much satisfied that you are the only person who can render me proper guidance. Sir, I have married an Indian born USA citizen resident of New York in the year 2001 feb. After the marriage I applied for the Green Card and now I am a Green Card holder. Now due to some difference of opinions I want to get separated. Please suggest me some dignified grounds on which the divorce can take place without any mutual humiliation. I would request you to let me know after separation or divorce, will I be entitled to be a Green Card holder or not. Thanking you

If both of you are in agreement that divorce would be best,it is possible to find a relatively “benign” grounds upon which to base the divorce. Your question regarding the green card is an immigration question , not matrimonial, and must be directed to an immigration attorney. We could resolve it during the mediation process. […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #50: My friends wife left him a year ago after 25 years of marriage.There was no other party involved, the children of the marriage are grown and living away from home.He has decided that if she files for divorce or legal separation, he will contest it on the grounds that he was the injured party (by being abandoned) He is sure that if he contests the divorce on those grounds then his wife’s application will be denied. Is he correct in his assumption??

There are a number of “Grounds” for divorce in NY, abandonment is just one of them.She may claim a different one, such as “cruel and inhuman treatment”.He can contest the grounds she chooses, but he should be prepared for a fight. Does he really want to remain married to a woman who has left him? […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #49: How do you prove cruel and inhuman treatment? If it is possible, then do you have to wait a year for the final divorce or can it be done relatively quickly? Also, if there is no property, no children and no joint bank account, how can there be a legal separation agreement? Thank you

Cruel and inhuman treatment is proved by convincing testimony heard by a judge but it must be serious . You do not need eye witnesses, although that would help. You do not need to wait a full year to file for divorce. There are other issues along with the ones you mentioned that must be […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #47: Resident of NY state. We were married here and lived here. We separated 2 months ago, she wanted to be on her own for a while. We had a separation agreement drawn up and signed. I kept 2 of our 3 children, she was allowed to move out of state with our son. No support on either side, I kept house. She now knows she can’t live without the other children and is returning to the area. Her boyfriend whom she left me for, now has a job offer in this area. She has stated if he comes here she would resume her relationship with him. She wants to stay married, but if he takes the job I would like a divorce based on adultery. She has been living in the same apartment with this man in South Dakota. What proof do I need for adultery? If she doesn’t contest to adultery, how quickly would the marriage be dissolved? She believes that since we are separated that she can legally have relations with someone else, and that it would not constitute adultery? I believe she is definitely wrong, so who is right?

You will not need an eye witness to prove adultery. If you can substantiate the fact that they left NY together and have been living in S.D. together in the same apartment , that should suffice for the court. Assuming that your Separation was properly drafted and executed according to NYS statutory requirements, you are […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #46: I was married in New Jersey, live and been married for 21 years now and things are bad. I had an affair a few weeks ago and my wife found out. She has threatened to kick me out, change the locks and take everything. She told me she would file based on adultery and take everything we own and leave me with nothing. Can she do this? I am trying to work things out with her, and we have resumed sexual relations. Can she still get a divorce based on adultery and take everything? Thank you for your help. Confused in New York

Adultery is one of the grounds for divorce in New York but it does not entitle the Plaintiff to receive all of the marital assets. The marital assets will generally be divided equally . If you are located in the greater NYC area please call me at 212-370-1660 to discuss the possibility of mediating the […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #44: I am a 42 year old woman with four children. I have been married for 21 years. Recently my husband has spoken of divorce. I want to know if he would need grounds? What are those grounds and could I contest them? If I contest them could he still get a divorce? He just recently took a job making 1/5 the amount of money he used to. Would my alimony be based on the amount he now makes, or would it be averaged over the years? Thanks for your help!

In order to properly respond to your question I must know what State you live in. In New York, “grounds” are required. In California, they are not. With regard to the spousal support you would receive, the judge would have to determine whether the present income of your husband reflects his true, present ability to […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #40: Does there still need to be a one-year separation, as required in my state (MD)?

If the parties are in agreement regarding the need to divorce, a one-year waiting period can be avoided.

Oct 29, 2018

Question #39: I am in dire need of a divorce; my husband is presently serving six months in jail for his fourth DWI conviction. I have two children ages six and four and would like full custody of my children in order to move out of New York State. Could you help me?

Under section 170 of the New York State Domestic Relations Law New York State requires grounds for divorce. One of the grounds is confinement of the defendant in prison but such must be for a period of three or more consecutive years after the marriage of plaintiff and defendant. There are other grounds as well […]

LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.

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Divorce Solutions

Question #49: How do you prove cruel and inhuman treatment? If it is possible, then do you have to wait a year for the final divorce or can it be done relatively quickly? Also, if there is no property, no children and no joint bank account, how can there be a legal separation agreement? Thank you

Question #40: Does there still need to be a one-year separation, as required in my state (MD)?

Question #39: I am in dire need of a divorce; my husband is presently serving six months in jail for his fourth DWI conviction. I have two children ages six and four and would like full custody of my children in order to move out of New York State. Could you help me?