Question #55: My wife left me 1½ years ago and went to live with her mother where she still is today. She has been asking for a legal separation for most of that time, and I have refused. I held hope that if we were casually separated we might resolve whatever differences we had and get back together without going through the courts. We have been married for 28 years (in NY State), but the last 3 years before she left were strained. She held out sex for almost 2 years and communications between us was breaking down during those years. She retained the services of a lawyer shortly after she left, and that lawyer asked me to respond to her request for the separation. I refused because I felt entitled to know her grounds, but none were ever given. Now after 1-½ years, her lawyer sent a letter with my wife’s “grounds” for separation. The list contains fabrications, exaggerations, and lies that I am convinced her lawyer talked her into. I’ve had enough, and now I want a divorce. Can I file on the grounds of abandonment? Can I prevent her from filing these lies in a court record by forcing her to prove her statements? Finally, is there any way I can have her lawyer reprimanded for promoting these serious allegations about my character?

Yo can file for divorce based on the grounds of abandonment. I strongly recommend you mediate rather than litigate your divorce. It is cheaper, faster and less emotionally draining. IF YOU MEDIATE THE DIVORCE, YOU CAN AGREE UPON THE GROUNDS AND CAN AVOID THE “FABRICATIONS” BECOMING PART OF THE RECORD!If you are located in the NYC metro area, please call me at 212-370-1660 to discuss the matter further.
Leonard M. Weiner, Esq. / Divorce Solutions