Divorce Solutions

Question #200

I live in NY and have two children in the ’20s. My husband was having financial difficulties with his businesses in 2002. Instead of listening to the advice of his corporate lawyers, he left me a note that hinted at suicide and stated that he was going, and he just didn’t leave; he became a missing person. The police found him four months later 300 miles from our house cooking at a restaurant and hanging out in the bars at night with a group of 20-year-olds ( we are in our 40’s). He left me with no income and an 18-year-old son in college. I had to get a job, and the banks foreclosed on his businesses because none of the companies were in my name and was never involved with them. This forced bankruptcy beyond my control.
• I was a fool and took him back but never could trust him, and when I told him how I felt, he said get over it, and he should never have come back. After three years of trying to save the marriage, I realized I would never trust him, and I told him I wanted to separate, and he told me to get out. I refused to leave, and one night when I wasn’t home, he locked me out. He would not let me in to get anything. I called the police many times, and they said to get a lawyer and tell the judge there was nothing they could do. So I started staying with a friend and we both hired lawyers. My lawyer requested that I be allowed to get my things, and he responded by saying I took everything, and nothing was at the house that was mine. A month later, we had a flood at the house that flooded the unfinished basement. He now says he sold my things, gave them away, and what was left was ruined by the flood. When we went to court, this information was given to the judge, but he didn’t do anything except order an appraisal on the house and let my husband stay in the house at this time.
• Meanwhile I have nothing except what I had the night he locked me out and a few things I have bought. Before I retained my attorney, he had his lawyer send me a separation agreement that he wanted me to sign and attached to it was a list of my personal property that he was willing to give to me if I signed it. I didn’t feel it was fair, and I wanted my lawyer to look at it, and when he found out I had a lawyer, he said sign it now, or you will never get anything. He would keep saying if you sign the car over to me, I will give you your things. I signed the car over to him and never got anything. Then he said if you give me the dog, I will provide you with your things I gave him the dog and never got anything. I was also paying all of the bills at the house for three months after he locked me out. I cannot keep staying with this friend. I have no furniture, I want the house, and I want to be allowed back in my own home now.
• Please help me. My husband has taken everything I own, and I lived in that house for 23 years, raised my two sons while he was married to his job, and never home, and I have an emotional attachment to it. That house is all I have left of what I did have. He has taken everything from me, and no one will help me. All my lawyer is saying is the judge will address it. The appraisal also came in, and he is claiming the flood caused damage to the house, so now it has no equity, but six months ago, he said it had 50 thousand in equity. Only the unfinished basement was flooded, and I think he put in a claim in FEMA. No one will let me into my own house that I have owned and still own for the last 23 years to even see what damage there is and if my personal belongings are there. I heard that he is seeing another woman, can he let her move into our house now. Please help me I feel like I have no rights.

It sounds like you picked the wrong lawyer!

You should find a lawyer in your area who is an experienced, matrimonial an attorney who also does civil litigation, and is not afraid to sue your husband. If title to your house is in your name as well as that of your husband, you own part of the property and should have every right to its use and occupancy.

Good luck!

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./ Divorce Solutions