FINANCIAL ISSUES – MARITAL PROPERTY V. SEPARATE PROPERTY – Page 15

Oct 30, 2018

Question #165:My divorce horror story goes like this. I was married to a New York City Police Lieutenant. He punched me in the face, and a week later my daughter and myself moved into our own place. I signed a stipulation that allowed me to have full access to the marital residence for purpose of childcare and visitation thereat. The first time I tried to enter the family residence, my ex called 911. A little while after I left him, I found out that the police department requested his resignation. This was due to the fact that he had sexually harassed a female officer for 4 1/2 years. I left my two sons in the marital residence, since he made 90 thousand dollars. I had my own apartment and three jobs. I soon found out that my ex had forged my name on Janus funds accounts and stole 18,000. I got copies of the checks, went to the DA. in Nassau county and was told to file a civil action. In our stipulation, it required my ex to make the mortgage payments on the house. 10 months after 911 he failed to make the payments, while my name was on the house. During this time he started stalking me. I was doing a book for Great Neck and he followed me and sexually abused me by asking for sexual favors for money. He tried his best to mirco-manage my life. He made constant demands of me, even though it says clearly in my stipulation that nothing shall be construed as a duty or obligation on the part of the wife. He harassed me constantly and was always calling and the sexual advances turned into a sexual assault. At this time in my life I didn’t understand things the way I do now. Currently, I have custody of the17 year old. I had to go to court to get a restraining order to stop the harassment and the next day, he punched my son in the face twice with a clinched fist and was found guilty of maltreatment and abuse. I had documented my visitation for 4 and 1/2 years and I have my boys more than 3/4 of the time. It is my belief, since I was trying to not make his financial life a living hell, that he knew exactly what he was trying to do to me. I had been conned. Instead of him paying me child support, I paid him for many years until I went to court and sued him for unpaid spousal support and also custody of my children. He settled the case, under the advise of his attorney and gave me my son back in lieu of 10 thousand dollars unpaid to me. It says in the last court order that he failed to obey the order of the court and this failure was unwillful. Otherwise he would have gone to jail for 6 months. Also, my ex did violate the restraining order, called me 12 times in 2 hours and banged on my door while I was in the shower. He left me a threatening message and was arrested, although the detective did not believe me because my ex told them he was a retired police officer. I got him on tape and showed evidence to the court and the judge told me to record everything. I am now remarried and my ex wants me to pay half of the college expenses for my son. I am currently applying for SSI, since I have neurofibromatosis, nerve damage and fibromyalgia. My question to you is do the courts order the ex non-custodial parent to pay half or is this based on a pro-rated share of income. He has done his best to try and ruin me, but I am a former U.S. Marine and I will not let him. Please advise.

Generally, the issue of college expenses for children is addressed in the Separation Agreement. If you entered into a Separation Agreement with your spouse, I would have to review the provisions to see exactly what you agreed to. If there is no Separation Agreement, there may be some reference to higher education in the judgment […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #164:My husband was married for 13 years in California and divorced for 5 years before we met. We have been married 6 years in New York. I would like a divorce now. His ex has not remarried. If I divorce him, which ex-wife has the right to his retirement funds, pension, etc. Also, would it make a difference if I stayed in the marriage longer? He is 59 years old, I am 42 his ex is 56.

You would have a claim to approximately half of the retirement funds, pension, etc which were contributed during the 6 years of your marriage, while the former spouse would have a claim to approximately half of the retirement funds, pension, etc that were earned during the time she was married to him. The comparative ages […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #163:Me& my husband have been married for 3 years in upstate New York. Last summer he convinced me to stay after i asked for a separation due to his failure to commit to starting a family, temper & unhappy living conditions among other things. I just felt we wanted different things out of life and we drifted and wanted out. We also were living with his mother who is mentally unstable and caused a lot of tension & problems in our marriage. I stayed to give it one more try. My husband knew it was his very last chance. A month later, I surprisingly got pregnant. Through my pregnancy my husband was distant and uncaring. He said he just had a lot on his mind with work and his mother being mentally ill and having to live under her roof. He showed no compassion or concern for me or the baby and made my pregnancy very lonely & stressful. i did my best to not let the stress effect me because of the baby and hoped we could make our family work. A few days after giving birth, my mother-in-law went ‘mental’ on me for no reason kicked me out of the house. I decided to respect her wishes because I don’t want my baby in this unstable environment and moved out. I moved into my parents’ home. (They are also the ones who now provide his day care while i work.) The “marital” home where we resided was owned by my husband & his mother which was left to them when his dad died. I refused to go back because of his mentally unstable mother and also the way i was treated throughout my pregnancy. I had enough. My husband loves the baby and stops by almost everyday to see the baby, but only usually stays 15min – 1 hour. I provide all the baby’s care; feeding, changing, bathing, healthcare, health insurance you name it. Here are my questions: (1) WHAT ARE MY CHANCES OF GETTING FULL & LEGAL CUSTODY? (2) CAN HE GET ME ON ABANDONMENT BECAUSE I LEFT OUR MARITAL HOME EVEN THOUGH I GOT KICKED OUT? (3) CAN I GET CHILD SUPPORT EVEN THOUGH WE MAKE ABOUT THE SAME AMOUNT? (4) AM I ENTITLED TO ANY OF HIS INHEIRATANCE THAT HE GOT WHILE MARRIED?

1. From the information you provided, it seems that you have a good chance of getting legal custody of your child and serving as the resident parent. 2. Assuming you can convince the judge of the fact that you are indeed thrown out of the house and that it was in the best interests of […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #161:I live in New York State and after seven years of marriage I am now seriously contemplating divorce. I understand that I can file for a legal separation and, should things improve with my estranged spouse, we can get back together without remarrying. We currently jointly own (finance) a home and I am unclear as to my financial obligations (my name is on the mortgage) during the period of separation. If I do not make payments during the period we are not together, is that considered abandonment? Do I lose any financial rights to my home? Please advise. Many thanks.

Filing for legal separation will not impact your obligation to continue to pay on the mortgage. The bank will not let you off the mortgage simply because you are now separated. If you or your wife fail to make the payments when due, the Bank will foreclose on the property. If your wife continues to […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #160: I left my husband almost a year ago. All of our furniture is in a storage unit in his name. Would it be against the law to take the furniture out of storage without asking him? We are still married, but living separately.

If you have not filed any legal divorce papers, you are still considered married under the law and if you have access to the storage unit there should be no problem for you to remove the items. If your husband wishes to contest the items you selected he would have to do so by filing […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #159:I left my husband almost a year ago. All of our furniture is in a storage unit in his name. Would it be against the law to take the furniture out of storage without asking him? We are still married, but living separately.

Oct 30, 2018

Question #157:I live in New York. My boyfriend is married but separated and has a 9 year old Daughter from his marriage. He either got married in Boston, MA or in Long Island, New York, I’m not positive. He has been separated for about 5 years now. He has been living with me for the past 9 months unemployed, therefore he did not contribute to any bills. He recently started working and we are thinking about buying a 2 family home together. He has no savings so I’m using my savings for a down-payment, closing costs, fees, etc but the house will be purchased with both of our names and credit. I am afraid that even though he is looking into getting a divorce we can close on the home before his divorce goes through. If this happens, Will his wife (and his Daughter) be entitled to any part of this home, God forbid he dies prior to the divorce, or even if he does not die, if God forbids his wife finds out he purchased a home with me during their divorce proceedings and decides to get half upon the divorce. He has not paid child support for the past few months since he did not work for 9 months. He is looking to get divorced, pay child support and get joint custody for his child. Should I wait until the divorce is final? If so then we may pass on a good deal we found on a home. When we do purchase this home. How do you suggest we purchase it since we are not married and have no kids together? Please Help!

Until your boyfriend has a Judgment of Divorce, signed by the court and filed with the county clerk’s office, he is still legally married, and any property acquired during the course of his marriage with funds earned during the marriage are considered marital property. Therefore, if he were to acquire an interest in this property […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #156:I have a friend facing a divorce he is quite wealthy and faces loosing well over 50% of all he had prior to his marriage. I am retired with very little cash and I live in Thailand in a small one-bedroom condo. I have often borrowed money from my friend and currently owe him US$20,000. I am selling my Condo that will allow me to pay him back. He has made me this offer but I am worried if its legal. He said he will buy my Condo before his divorce, he wants to pay me US$500,000.00 for it !!Its worth maybe US$45,000.00. He will tell his wife I ripped him off and he lost the US$500,000 cause he bought my apartment for 10 times its value. He asked me to set up a off shore company and put the excess cash in a bank in the Caribbean until the divorce is over, this will wipe out my debit to him. It’s a real good deal for me. I questioned the legality he said hey if he makes a bad investment that’s his problem, if the wife wants the Condo she can have half of it. Are there any loopholes in his plan? Right now he has access to the money US$500,000 being maybe 1/4th of his wealth, she will be mad as hell but what can she do? It is his money. Can I get into trouble, can he? Any advice greatly appreciated.

If your friend intentionally dissipates marital assets in contemplation of a divorce proceeding, the judge will hold him responsible for that amount of money that has been dissipated. This is clearly an attempt to defraud the wife out of her share of the marital assets, and if you participate in it you will be an […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #155:Hi, I have a question regarding financial issues and would like to know if you can help me with. My husband and I have been married for over 5 years but no children. We live in NY. During our marriage we have had too many fights and I can’t take it anymore. I have been working full-time through the entire marriage, but my husband makes about 10 times more than I do. We purchased an apartment together AFTER our marriage, and it is under both of our names. BUT, my husband says that if I want a divorce, he will not give me any shares of the apt. He had an apt prior to our marriage (not in my name), and sold it in order to buy this apt. He claims that he contributed much more money to the down payment and mortgage than me, and therefore I will not be granted half of the apt. However, I do contribute to the monthly maintenance (about 1/3 of the monthly mortgage payment), as well as many of our household expenses. My question is: will I be granted half of the market value of the apt? My husband also has stocks and bonds (some purchased after the marriage), investments in restaurants as well as real estate properties (also some after the marriage), retirement, large amount of cash reserves in saving accounts/CDs… But all accounts are under his name regardless before or after the marriage. Am I entitled half of the money/profits he earned AFTER we got married (we have no prenup)? Also, although I can support myself, once we separate or have a divorce I will not be able to afford buying an apt. Will I be granted any spousal support? Many thanks!

If you are named on the apartment, you have an equity share in it and even though your husband contributed most of the money, he in fact made a gift of it to you by putting you on the deed. You are also entitled to spousal support separate from the issue of the division of […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #154:Here is the situation. We live in the Syracuse NY area. Married for 12 yrs Since May of 2005 my wife and I have been in marriage counseling. Regardless of the history of the sessions things haven’t changed much. There was some ominous presence hanging over us. One month ago it finally came out that she had an affair from July 2004-April 2005. I have never abused, embarrassed her etc. She lacks for nothing including attention. I am a very involved father. Always changed diapers, taken both boys with me everywhere. In fact I estimate that I spend more time alone with them than her. (I have begun a journal with times etc) I do not want to use them as pawns. However, I grossed130 K last year and she 60 K. I am afraid, should we divorce, I will have to pay 25% of gross ($2200) add that to her take home it is almost $5000/month. I would be left to live on about 2200 myself. Doesn’t seem fair for me to pay for her to live high on the hog like this when I didn’t do anything to deserve this. I am willing to share custody and pay for 63% of all child expenses. I can’t afford to live on $2200 minus rent, power, gas, food, daycare, saving for kids college etc. How can I do anything with them or for them. I am a victim of having a goodliving. I have offered 63% of all expenses etc. I even was willing to give up the home I rebuilt w / my sweat and bonus cks and the equity up to 100k after that it would be split. My kids will not lack but I don’t want to pay for her to live on my dime. My wife is a great mother but I don’t want to live like a pauper. Can I go for primary custody? What type of chances does a father have who is very involved? 80% of the time I got them ready for school and picked them up. Other times when wife did they got off bus at sitters. I have a flexible schedule and travel usually one nite per week. I took a loan against my 401K for the down payment on the home and she has never touched hers. I did the remodeling and saved us tens of thousands of dollars. What can I do?

You should mediate rather than litigate your divorce. It will save you, time, money and lots of aggravation. At such mediation you can work out a fair division of the assets and decide the custody questions as well as the fair amount of child and spousal support you should pay. You have a good chance […]

LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.

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FINANCIAL ISSUES - MARITAL PROPERTY V. SEPARATE PROPERTY

Question #160: I left my husband almost a year ago. All of our furniture is in a storage unit in his name. Would it be against the law to take the furniture out of storage without asking him? We are still married, but living separately.

Question #159:I left my husband almost a year ago. All of our furniture is in a storage unit in his name. Would it be against the law to take the furniture out of storage without asking him? We are still married, but living separately.