Q&A

I was married in South America in the 60s. I moved to the US and became a dual citizen who has been in NY ever since. Now I want to get a divorce, but here is the detail. My husband was in jail for 10 yrs and was released back in 2003, and we tried to live together. He then last year left to live with his girlfriend for a couple of weeks, and it didn’t work, so he came back. We are in the process of selling our townhouse, and I just want to be rid of him. Can I get a “default divorce” in my favor?

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 I have been married for less than six months, and I’m considering divorce; based on the information I read, it seems that an annulment is out of the question. But I would like to know what exactly constitutes fraud (in regards to an annulment)? My husband is 20, and I’m 27, and we only lived together for the first two months of our marriage. He is currently in a government-funded school program…..Can my husband ask for alimony even though we do not live together? Can I have him served with divorce papers at his school??? Can anyone serve him??? I would appreciate any help in this matter…..never thought I would have to go through this…..but I’m sure that’s what a lot of us are saying!!!

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I have lived in a nightmare for the past two years. My husband of 31 years cheated on me with my so-called best friend. Not only was she my friend, but for the last two years she worked for me, and I had no recourse at work but to work alongside her; otherwise, I would have lost my 21-year job. Because I live in this Great New York, the laws are terrible. I had emails that they shared and cards and also copies of his poems to her. Since they were not caught in the act, I cannot sue for adultery. I have been back and forth in court for the last year, and since it is a NO FAULT state, me, the innocent party suffers. I am 50K in debt with one lawyer who I dismissed, and now I have another lawyer, and it still goes on. What makes matters worse is that I make more money then he does, so since I do and he has no benefits, I have to share all of my retirement benefits.
To make matters worse, he wants survivor benefits; not only survivor benefits but my Paid Time Off. He wants half of that when I retire. Let’s see, oh yes, he wanted support, he wants me to have a life insurance policy, the list goes on and on. Well, New York has no laws on this either, so all he has received by the District Attorney and the Judges here in Putnam County, but a slap on the wrist. I have to sell the house, and all I do is clean up his mess.

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 I am in a unique situation. I have been married for a month and a half and want to get a divorce. I married him because at the time I was pregnant, and my mother threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn’t. A few days after the marriage, I miscarried, and since then, all I receive is verbal abuse daily. I need to get out of this relationship. Is it possible with such a short time period after the marriage? If so, how long can it take to complete?

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My best friend has been legally married to his wife for three years now, but they have NEVER lived together since getting married. He resides iV.A.VA for work, and she resides in Queens, NY, with their three-year-old daughter. They just got a legal separation document in March of 2008. My question is, since they have not resided together the entire duration of the marriage and they have not slept together in 2 years, do they have to wait out the legal separation period of a year to have a finalized divorce, or can they divorce now? They both agree it is a no-fault divorce. Please advise, he would like to end this marriage sooner rather than later. Thanks!

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my husband and I got married legally in NY October 15, 2007, and religiously married October 19, 2007 ( registered by state oN.Y.NY). But did not start living together until March 14, 2008. I love him a lot even though it was an arranged marriage; he never really accepted the marriage well enough, but from my end, I have fulfilled all the duties of a good wife. His shopping meals the house everything I took care of personally him and my in-laws didn’t treat me kindly, and we were having problems one day he was kicking me out of the house and slapped me and abused me. I called the police, but not intending to get him arrested. I just got scared and thought he needs to understand he can’t treat his wife like that. He was in jail for 24 hours, and now the state put a case against him, and max he will have to pay a fine violation or misdemeanor. And I did everything in my reach to get him out of this trouble. But now he wants a divorce, and he puts grounds of adultery and cruel, inhuman treatment. I know he doesn’t know divorce is a wrong step. I want to stop it by contesting and making him realize we can work it out. But how can he prove inhuman treatment??? can he say I sent him to jail, but he did something wrong, and for that time, he deserved that otherwise, he would not realize his mistake. Did I do anything wrong? I have always had the best favor of him.

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Hi, my husband and I are both residents oN.YNY. We’ve been married for three months and have a 9-month-old child. I am not sure if I can qualify for the grounds to be divorced – I have been verbally and physically abused but never filed a complaint and have no police report. There are a couple of pictures of bruises on my face taken by me at the beginning of the year. I know that my husband will not agree to divorce. We currently stay together but do not communicate. Is there a way to make him leave the apartment (it’s under my name)? And do I have a chance to get divorced? If we stay together for a year but don’t have intimacy, will it be considered as grounds? How can I prove that we aren’t close? Will the child stay with me?

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 Hello, I came across your site, and I have a question for you, My daughter has been married for the past three and a half months. During that time, I would say that most of the marriage has been spent apart and separate. He has been mentally and emotionally cruel to her. In the state of NY, what is the time period she can file for a divorce, and what are the grounds? They have been residents in the state for over ten years.

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I was with my husband for 20 yrs, married for 13. he is an abusive alcoholic drug user. He failed a drug test and admitted to drinking. I endured much abuse in all those yrs. We have three children together. We are in the middle of a custody battle for the two younger ones. I left him five mos ago and went to a SAF house. Now on my own with the two younger ones. I filed for divorce in Dec of 2009. I don’t know how it works as far as separation or divorce. I have met someone. But there have been no intimate relations. If I chose to have intimate relations, how would it affect my divorce? If I decided to have him move in, how would it affect my divorce? What are the laws governing this? If I got a copy of the filing for divorce. Would it protect me? We own many assets, including a business. How long does a divorce take when there were multiple cases of abuse going on? I do have an order of protection, even though he has violated it. But I cannot prove it. Can you please enlighten me? 

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My boyfriend, who has been separated from his wife for more than a year, finally got his papers for divorce last week. In the documents, his bitter wife wrote inhuman and cruel treatment. (we all live in the state of New York Rochester to be exact) he’s had enough with her and just wants to officially not be connected to her. Although he doesn’t agree with the reason, he said he would sign it and mail it back to the divorce lawyer to get it over. We don’t have money for a lawyer; they have no kids, no house, no assets basically, and the debt they had. They split it in half and have no ties.
We did not know all this divorce terminology and called the same divorce lawyer who said he would not have to go to court, and it will be an easy divorce. (I am unsure if he was looking at the interest of the divorcee or divorcer) anyway, we wanted to get married eventually. We were wondering if he needs to think twice about what he is about to sign; especially if he doesn’t agree with it (will he go to jail for admitting inhuman and cruel treatment even though that is not the case?) is it a clean divorce since they don’t have any tips? Would it jeopardize him when he remarries in this same state? And is there even such thing as having a divorce and not even going to a court? How long does this usually take from when he does sign? Sorry for all the questions we called a legal aide who said to go ahead and sign it there should not be a problem, but I can’t help but think there is another meaning to her (wife) ways and if she tried to trick him since she was holding out for so long and is upset he is moving on? Please help.

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