Q&A

I am a resident of New York City with full custody of my two-year-old son, whom I had with my ex-boyfriend. I recently got engaged, and my fiance is looking to move to either Staten Island or a very close commute in NJ, say Old Bridge or Sayreville. My question is, will the courts allow this move? I have heard horror stories from other people stating I could not move more than 15 miles from my ex-boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend just moved ten blocks away from me in Queens so he can be closer to his son. Is the fact that I am getting married feasible enough to let me move? I do not want someone who wanted to ruin any chance of happiness for me. Right now I am a single mother of two, and this man is ready to take on my two children and me.

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I live on Long Island. I have full custody of my daughter. Five years ago, her father (we were never married) up and moved to CT without letting us or the court know. At first, he didn’t see his daughter but has been visiting with her regularly for the last two years. I wish to move to Maryland. Will I be able to move to Maryland? He decided to leave NY, does that mean I’m bound to stay here forever?

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My ex and I have been separated for 4.5 years. I found out he was having an affair in 2003. When confronted, he voluntarily left the home we lived in Staten Island the very next day. He moved in with his parents, who live in Northern New Jersey, where he still resides today. We are currently waiting on our divorce papers to be signed and filed in Richmond County, which I did on my own with the NY divorce packet. I have had physical custody of our daughter, who is six now since that time. The first year and a half after he left, he was pretty much non-existent to us and didn’t help us in any way. I subsequently sold the house, which was in foreclosure at the time, and moved into a 2br apartment. Throughout all of this, I asked him repeatedly to come back, and we would try and work things out. Each time he told me no; that he was in love and would never be coming home again. After his girlfriend and he broke up, he wanted to come back home. I told him at that time that it was too late and that we needed to move on and get a divorce. My ex sees our daughter every other weekend (although he works all the time (not always mandatory) and usually gets to spend one day with her – Sunday). He will pick her up on Friday night, go to work all day Saturday, and then he will spend Sunday with her. He gets in one day during the week when he can, and when he does, he spends 2 hours with her. He has also mentioned that the driving back and forth from NJ to SI is too much for him. Well, a year and a half ago, I met a wonderful man. He is in the military (Navy) and has been for 17 years. He is now on an overseas tour in Japan for three years, after which he will either retire and come back to the states or reenlist and come back to the US. We are seriously talking about getting married when my divorce is final and possibly having my daughter, and I go there for a year or two to live with him. I live in NY, where it expensive, and I am hardly able to make ends meet for both of us here on my own. When the bills are paid, there isn’t a lot left over. Would this be considered a considerable change in circumstances, and what are the chances a judge would look favorably on this situation and allow me to go with my daughter to Japan? She would have access to everything on the base and also be exposed to a new culture, etc. Thanks!

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I’ve been married for almost 11 years now. My husband has been in the military for our entire marriage. Right now, we live on Long Island, NY. We have two children: a nine 1/2-year-old daughter and a two 1/2-year-old son. We have a mortgage together on our house. I want to move my children out of state near my family. He says the only way he’ll let me leave is if I sign over the house to him. Is there any way I can leave the state and still get half of the house? Plus, I’ve been told I’m entitled to part of his pension through the military. He says if I ever get remarried, I won’t get anything from his pension. Is that true?

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My wife of 15 years is filing for divorce. Although she initially claimed it was due to “unhappiness and falling out of love,” I have since found out that another man is also involved. She has advised that she wants to move to another state (where the other man resides as well) even before the divorce settlement as this is where she plans to start over and wants the kids “settled” as soon as possible. We have three children ages 6 through 13 with – to all have been a very committed, involved dad. We move quite frequently (usually every few years) because of my line of work, so I realize we don’t have a solid “home base.” I cannot move where she plans and continue to support the family. She claims while she doesn’t want to take the children away from me, that she will seek this move through the courts if she has to. She reasons that as a stay at home mom, she will be granted primary custodial rights anyway, and will as such have the right to move eventually. Is this true? What options do I have?

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My husband and I live in New York, and I want to get a divorce. We have one child together, and I was wondering if I had to stay in New York, or would I be able to move to North Carolina before the divorce is final. My sister lives down there, and she would be able to help me get on my feet because I don’t think I would be able to support myself and child if I were to stay in New Yor

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My fiance’ lives in NY. She has been divorced for four years and has custody of 2 minor children, ages 10 and 15. I live in NH, and we had planned on her moving here with her kids this summer. She mentioned this to her ex-husband, who also lives in NY, and he said that he would allow her and the kids to move, providing that they don’t move beyond a 75-mile radius. He told her that that was a NY state law. Their divorce paper does not state that she has to ask for his permission, but is this a given anyway? The ex is involved in the children’s lives (usually gets the son every other weekend, but the daughter, who is ten is reluctant to go there), and he stated that he doesn’t have any problems with me, he is happy that I have been such a good influence on them. She wants to get the kids (and herself) out of Queens because she doesn’t think it’s a suitable environment for them. The kids were also excited to be moving from NY. I guess my question is, is there such a law prohibiting her from moving outside of a 75-mile radius, and what do we need to do next? Thank you very much for your time in this matter.

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I am looking to get a divorce. My husband and I have been together since 1998 and married since 2002. We have a 15-month baby. What is the procedure on moving back to WA State where I am from with my baby? I moved here to live with my husband, and I have no family or friends to help me out with my son. I don’t think I can support my son and me living in NYC. Please let me know how this works. Thanks

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I have been separated for over a year. My spouse has recently lost his job and hasn’t paid child support in 2 months and counting. I have recently started a full-time job but am continuing to have difficulties with the high rent in the town where we both live. I have been asked by my boyfriend to move in with him and his son. This would mean living a 1/2 hour drive away from the children’s father. I have no problem arranging drop off and pick-ups at his parents’ home, which is almost halfway between the two areas and keeping the same visitation schedule that we have currently had for the past year. My ex continues to tell me that there is no way he will let me take the kids out of their current school district. He has been their football coach for a couple of years, and he states that I will be taking away his children’s childhood if they don’t play for the same league. Should I be concerned regarding this? Can he keep me living in the same school district for the next 13 years until my daughter finishes school? We will be moving from a three-bedroom townhouse that I pay $1000/mth plus utilities to a four-bedroom home with a large lot of land, and I will pay much less than this…please help ease my mind

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My ex and I have in our divorce agreement that if either of us moves more than 30 miles away from a mutual location, the visitation rights will be revisited. We have been alternating the pick-up and drop off evenly for four years. Recently I moved 23 miles from the mutual location, and she lives 26.5 miles from that shard point. Now she is demanding that I do both the pick-up and the drop off as well. In New York, is there any law that dictates which parent has to do pick-up and drop off? Or is the responsibility shared equally?

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