Question #1

I am living in New York City (Brooklyn). I need to know my rights for a legal separation. I would need to move out of the home I am currently sharing with my husband and two daughters, 2 and 7 yrs. I would like to take my daughters with me and the furniture I acquired before I was married or had children. I am also contemplating relocating to another State with the kids, but I do not know the laws of separation in New York. Also, I am concerned that due to my earnings being more than my spouse’s, I will be responsible for paying support to my husband. If I later file for divorce, will he be entitled to any assets I acquire after the separation (i.e., 401k, savings, etc.)?

Question #2

My wife refuses to proceed with our separation until her name is removed from the credit cards that I will pay (We have four –I’ll pay two, and she’ll pay two) This seems to be taking a long time, how can this be sped up? I also have the feeling that my wife is stone-walling. . . I have decided that I would prefer to try and get a divorce right away, how hard is it to file for divorce in NY using “cruelty” as grounds? Are my only choices cruelty, abandonment, or filing separation and waiting a year?

Question #3

My husband and I were married five years ago in Florida and still reside here. We have a three-year-old daughter. I asked for a divorce, and my husband refuses to cooperate. He claims he can make me happy and blames all of our relational problems on me. He says he will fight for custody of our daughter, and the fact that I admitted to kissing another man is enough to take her away from me if I pursue a divorce. He also wants me to leave the house without her, and he refuses to leave. Also, he recently talked me into a consolidation loan against our home to pay off our credit cards and lease a very expensive vehicle, which we both signed on. Without his income, I wouldn’t be able to live alone in the house or keep the car. If I filed for bankruptcy, would I still be liable for the house and car if I moved out? Is kissing someone else considered adultery and cause me to lose my daughter? I’m a wonderful mother to her, my work history is far better than his, I earn more money then he does, and I take care of most of her needs. Would a mediator be helpful in my case?

Question #4

I am about to start going through a divorce and need some s to questions. I need to know more about no-fault divorces and how they work. I also need to know what my rights are as the father of a 1yr old child and how I can keep custody of him because his mother chooses to run around at all hours of the night and run with drug-using friends. She also participates in the use of drugs. I have many other questions that would fill up about three pages, but these are two of the MAJOR issues that I need s to. Thanks.

Question #5

My wife abandoned me two years ago (after eight years of marriage). On 8/9/95, she calls me at work saying she wants to take off for a month in Florida to think, but she wants a divorce, and we’ll talk when she returns. After a month, I tried to get in contact with her through her family, but she wouldn’t return any of my messages. (I later found out that she was really in Puerto Rico with a male companion. I hadn’t heard from her since 10/8/97 when someone knocked on my door at 10:30 pm to give me a Summons (with Notice). Does it seem that the summons is an action for divorce on the grounds: DRL*140 (1)?? Does she seek an equitable distribution of marital property ?? What does DRL*140 (1) mean???? and do you have any advice?? I never went through anything like this. And I’m desperate. I have twenty days to reply to the summons. Please e-mail me as soon as you can.

Question #6

If my husband and I got a legal separation, could we still live in the same house and lead different lives? Or could we buy a duplex and each lives on a side and yet have the legal separation be affective? Could we have joint custody of the kids in doing so?

Question #7

Great website. My husband & I have been residents of NYS all our lives and were married here in 1988. It has been a very abusive relationship, and he abuses drugs and alcohol. I filed for divorce in 2001 but backed out of it because of my fear of this man. He was arrested for domestic violence (a few months before I filed for divorce) and issued an order of protection, but he was never ordered out of the house. The night they arrested him, they told me that for my safety, I should leave. Because of this, he was allowed to stay in the house, and the three children & I were forced to leave for our safety. My lawyer said that he could stay in the house, but I had to file a petition in the court for exclusive residency if I wanted to get back in. This is messed up. Then he burned up all my clothes and other possessions that I was not able to retrieve because of 1. him changing the locks and 2. my fear of going back and getting hurt if I did break a window to get in, and I was told that he could do that because they were a “marital asset.” The same when he broke into my
business and vandalized it, marital asset, and anyone can damage their assets if they want to. Then he put advertisements on the radio using our last name instead of my actual business name saying that “John Smith is no longer in business” and saying that he no longer sold the product that I do. (Even though he was never part of my business, but it is a marital asset, purchased 1993) The radio station just said that he paid for the ad, and he could run it because he did not use my business name, so it wasn’t false advertising, and the ad could mean that he was no longer selling the product. Then they suggested that I purchase advertising with them to clear up the situation. (How sick on their part). The list goes on & on, and I ran out of money to fight him. Everything he did, he got away with, and I became an emotional basket case and moved back in fear that I would eventually get too depressed to take care of the children. I moved back in to get him to stop. I just wanted it to end. Well, three years later, I can’t take it anymore. My questions are, how come he was not asked to leave when he was arrested & issued an order of protection, how could he advertise like that? Also, for almost five months now, I have been “living” in a separate part of the house and have not had sexual relations with him. If we were to get a separation agreement, would I still be able to live in this house? Would this fulfill the separation agreement because I am not having sex with him? I cannot afford to leave and pay for two places. I am on the mortgage along with him and have pristine credit, and if I leave, he will not pay the mortgage (why should he, his credit is shot). Can he get me for abandonment because I am not involved sexually with him and use this for grounds for divorce if we are in the same house? (Please tell me he can). Thank you