Question #87: My wife and I got married in rhode Island and have since then moved to NYC, her hometown. After a year, we were to file for immigration for myself, she is the US citizen. However, she reveals to me that she was married in New York and has no idea whether she is divorced or not, doesn’t remember ever getting a divorce paper, haven’t seen her ex for year and cannot find any information on any divorce or if he did file for divorce then. Has no contact with the man in years Bottom line: she has been lying to me all these times we have been together, on our marriage certificate she says first time marriage. and now she still can’t prove to me she is divorced. My question: how do I get out of this marriage? Should I get an annulment or just get a divorce. Which one is faster. we are retrieving her marriage record. How long does it take to completely get the annulment/divorce. Do we need to go to court? She is willing to sign. Thank you

If your wife never got divorced from her first husband, your marriage was not legal and you have grounds for an annulment.
The time it takes to get the annulment or divorce will be about the same.
As long as your spouse is cooperative, I can prepare all of the documents and you will not have to make any court appearances.
Please contact me when you get the marriage records.

Leonard Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #77: SEPARATION & DIVORCE Hi. I’m married 15 years with 2 young boys, one of whom has special needs. We’ve resided in our marital home since 1996; the deed is in both our names. I’m torn between filing for legal seperation here in NYS or divorce based on grounds of cruel and inhumane treatment. My spouse has abused and “wastefully dissipated” our marital assets on sporting goods and hobbies. He has hidden cash from me and lied about it as well as hidden our income tax return in his safe at work last year. He charges up on credit cards (which are in his name), the debt in his name is now 12k. He has verbally threatened me and demeans me, shows me little affection. He can’t accept our son has special needs. He gets angry and says he wishes he could run away and murmurs to himself “shoot me” out of frustration. He calls our special needs son a “baby” and threatens to punch him etc when our son has meltdowns. My concern is for the children. I want them to have both parents on hand so to speak, especially since my special needs son has a severe mood disorder and high functioning autism. Can I initiate a legal seperation with both of us still residing in the marital residence(we have spoken about my husband living in finished basement downstairs, with me upstairs, creating seperate entrances etc) so the children are spared. Is this even possible to do legally? Or must the parties live at seperate addresses? He has threatened to have me out of the house in a month and that I had better get a good lawyer etc. that I’ll need it. I’m scared of his reaction if I do sue for divorce, but I’ve been unhappy for years and it’s affecting my self esteem and my health. A stomach condition has resurfaced in me, and I’ve lost weight. He tells me he’ll never pay me alimony and tells me he knows four lawyers. By the way, I’ve gone to counseling for a year, he refuses any counseling, individual or marital. He says I could be his shrink. He tells me he’s too tired and “who has time for therapy?” He says, he isn’t a “talker” and “knows what he’s got to do.” He has control, anger and compulsive spending issues that aren’t going away. Please, any advice in this ongoing dilemna would be appreciated. Thank you.

It is possible through mediation to arrange for a Separation in which each party remains in the house.
Do not listen to his threats regarding throwing you out or not supporting you. If he has been supportng
you and the children for the past 15 years, the court will make him continue to do so.
If you cannot afford an attorney, the court will make him pay for your attorney also.

If you are living in the NYC metro area, please call me at 212-370-1660
to arrange for a meeting to discuss the matter in greater length.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #76: SEPARATION & DIVORCE Hi. I’m married 15 years with 2 young boys, one of whom has special needs. We’ve resided in our marital home since 1996; the deed is in both our names. I’m torn between filing for legal seperation here in NYS or divorce based on grounds of cruel and inhumane treatment. My spouse has abused and “wastefully dissipated” our marital assets on sporting goods and hobbies. He has hidden cash from me and lied about it as well as hidden our income tax return in his safe at work last year. He charges up on credit cards (which are in his name), the debt in his name is now 12k. He has verbally threatened me and demeans me, shows me little affection. He can’t accept our son has special needs. He gets angry and says he wishes he could run away and murmurs to himself “shoot me” out of frustration. He calls our special needs son a “baby” and threatens to punch him etc when our son has meltdowns. My concern is for the children. I want them to have both parents on hand so to speak, especially since my special needs son has a severe mood disorder and high functioning autism. Can I initiate a legal seperation with both of us still residing in the marital residence(we have spoken about my husband living in finished basement downstairs, with me upstairs, creating seperate entrances etc) so the children are spared. Is this even possible to do legally? Or must the parties live at seperate addresses? He has threatened to have me out of the house in a month and that I had better get a good lawyer etc. that I’ll need it. I’m scared of his reaction if I do sue for divorce, but I’ve been unhappy for years and it’s affecting my self esteem and my health. A stomach condition has resurfaced in me, and I’ve lost weight. He tells me he’ll never pay me alimony and tells me he knows four lawyers. By the way, I’ve gone to counseling for a year, he refuses any counseling, individual or marital. He says I could be his shrink. He tells me he’s too tired and “who has time for therapy?” He says, he isn’t a “talker” and “knows what he’s got to do.” He has control, anger and compulsive spending issues that aren’t going away. Please, any advice in this ongoing dilemna would be appreciated. Thank you.

It is possible through mediation to arrange for a Separation in which each party remains in the house.
Do not listen to his threats regarding throwing you out or not supporting you. If he has been supportng
you and the children for the past 15 years, the court will make him continue to do so.
If you cannot afford an attorney, the court will make him pay for your attorney also.

If you are living in the NYC metro area, please call me at 212-370-1660
to arrange for a meeting to discuss the matter in greater length.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #75: I will do my best to make this really short. My husband and I got married June of 2000. Since then there has been a lot of problems between the two of us. On December of 2005 my husband put me out of our martial home. I was forced to go and live with my mother where I still reside. We don’t have any assets or children together. I do have a son from a previous relationship and my husband has help take care of him since he was little. He never legally adopted my son as his own. My question is can I divorce my husband for abandonment or do I need to put in a legal separation agreement before the divorce can happen? My husband said that he agrees to the divorce as well. We are both New York City residents and we both don’t have a lot of money for a lengthly divorce. We will like for it to be over quickly. Thank you for your help.

I strongly suggest that you seek experienced, matrimonial, legal counsel to help you sort out your separation and divorce.
It is too important a process to leave to self help and although it may cost you now it will save you much money and aggravation
in the future.

Please consider mediating your divorce – it will save you time, money and emotional stress.

The Separation Agreement ,although not technically necessary, is a very important document because it is a legal agreement
between spouses describing, among many other important things necessary to separate your lives, exactly how the marital assets will be divided, who is responsible for the children’s upkeep , education and religious training, care and custody and who will be the resident parent and who will pay maintenance and child support to the other.

Since your husband never adopted your son, he has no legal child support obligation for him.

Having a Separation Agreement does not mean you have to wait a year to divorce. you can proceed with the divorce immediately.

Please call me at 212-370-1660 to arrange for a meeting to discuss these matters at greater length.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #64: My spouse and I both live in NY. We want to file for divorce – Do we have to file a legal separation and wait 1 full year? We have no minor children, and no arguments about the division of property. Can he sign a quit-claim form and sell me his share of the property for a $1?

It is a common misconception that one has to wait a year in order to get a divorce in NY.
That is only the case if you use the Separation Agreement as the grounds for divorce.
There are other grounds that can be used in which you can file for divorce immediately.

Yes, he can quit claim the property to you.
I cannot overemphasize the need to use an experienced, matrimonial attorney -mediator
to review all of the issues with you, prepare all of the documents, and properly file them. This is an event in your lives that
is too important to leave to self help.

Please call me at 212-370-1660 to discuss mediating your divorce.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #55: SEPARATION and DIVORCE I live in NY and my husband and I have been living apart now for a month (we no longer want to remain married),we went to family court because we have a child and I wanted to get child support and spousal maintenance, and to get the custody issue out of the way. I got the custody and spousal support and we now share joint custody. My question is do we still have to file anything else with the court before we can get divorced? Like a separation agreement or does the family court decision pretty much take care of everything? I want to get divorce as quick as possible and be able to move to another state with my daughter.

If you have an executed court order from the judge, you can use that as the grounds for divorce, but you will have to wait a year before you can apply for your divorce. You may get divorced immediately, however, if you use other grounds.

If you are living in the New York City metropolitan area, please call me at 212-370-1660 to arrange for a meeting to discuss the matter at greater length. You do not have to wait the year. You can do get divorced right now.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #54: SEPARATION & DIVORCE My husband and I are in the process of filing for a legal separation in New York State, with full intention of actually divorcing after the year is up. During that year, can he “contest” the separation/divorce during this year? Can he file on other grounds?

Many people are under the common misunderstanding that one has to wait a full year in New York, in order to file for divorce. In fact it is possible to file for divorce immediately, depending on the grounds one uses as the basis for the divorce. If you use the Separation Agreement as the grounds, then a one-year requirement is necessary, and nothing stops your spouse from filing for divorce under different grounds during that one-year period.

If you are living in the New York City metropolitan area, please call me at 212-370-1660 to arrange for an appointment to discuss the matter at greater length. I strongly suggest you consider mediating your divorce with this office in order to resolve your concerns.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #46: If my husband and I enter into a legal separation as a negotiation of terms of our son’s custody and our house, will I legally be able to date again? Thank you.

Until you receive a Judgment of Divorce and it is filed in the county recorder’s office, you are still considered married. Is a married person allowed to date?

If you are living in the NYC metro area, call me at 212-370-1660 to discuss mediating your divorce and getting you the freedom you need to get on with your life.
You need an experienced attorney who deals in matrimonial matters to make sure it is done right.

Leonard Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #27: My wife presented me a written statement to which I have held as a premarital agreement. It was written by her and signed by her. I did not sign one at the time since I was living check to check. Fourteen years later I have acquired a house, a pension, and 401(k). Will such agreement hold up in a divorce proceeding?

Nice try but no cigar! Your written statement from your wife, given the information you provided, does not appear to meet the requirements necessary for a legal premarital agreement. Once again, I cannot overemphasize the need for individuals who are involved in premarital agreements, or separation and divorce proceedings, to retain an experienced mediator-attorney to assist them. You find yourself in this predicament because you, unfortunately, did not have proper legal counsel.

It appears that you are still legally married and all of the assets that you acquired during the course of the marriage, including your pension 401(k), are marital property to which your wife has an equitable interest.

If you a living in the New York City metropolitan area, I strongly suggest that you call me at 212-370-1660 to arrange for an appointment to mediate your separation and divorce so that you can finally get on with your life and know that you have finally taken care of these matters properly.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #26: What is the difference of divorce & a legal separation?

In the State of the New York both divorce and legal separation require grounds. Irreconcilable differences are not sufficient to obtain either a divorce or separation. The difference is in the result. Once the judgment of divorce is executed by the judge, the parties are free to remarry, whereas, a legal separation allows the parties to live separately, to divide their assets, and cover their common liabilities, and spell out any child or spousal support requirements, but the parties remain married and are not free to live with or marry any other individual.

If you are contemplating divorce or separation, and live in the New York City metropolitan area, please call me at 212-370-1660 to discuss the matter at greater length.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions