Question #66: Hello, I am going to try and keep this as short as possible. I have been married to my husband for approximately 5 months and I am considering a divorce. We have dated since I was 22 years old, I am now 29 he is 36. We have a 4 year old daughter together, and I have a son from a previous relationship who is 12. He has a daughter from a previous relationship who will be 12 in August, and has custody of. We have never lived together. We recently signed a lease on June 15 for one year. I moved most of my stuff in, but I do not “live” there yet. He will move his stuff in on sat the 21st of june. He is verbally abusive, and will not talk to me at times. In the past he has hit me and I even got a order of protection from him and one for my daughter. He had threathened to kick her across the lawn. He was mad he said. Anyway, we got back together a year after that happened. Long story short, I forgave him. He was seeming to do better. I broke it off kind of though because I told him that we either need to get married or move on so we got married and he said he was going to change. I talked to him about various things pertaining to marriage. Well he lied, because things have been bad, and I realize that it was a big mistake. Would it be easier to not officially move in, so that I will have a better chance at gaining custody of my daughter, as well as not complicating things more. I believe that he will get physically violent again because I will not let him have his way. He gets mad and does not know how to handle it except by being violent. I do not want him to touch me sexually either so I do not think it would be wise to move in because that will really upset him. I feel trapped, depressed I just do not know what to do. I would suggest counseling, but he does not see anything that he does as wrong, he says that I am the problem, and that I make him act that way. Please help. How much does a divorce generally cost. We have no accounts together, and have not acquired any bills together, we have no assets together. Just the 4 year old child. I do not work now, and when I do I only make about 5,000 dollars. He makes about 58 thousand. I am a student. Thank you

For the sake of your four-year-old child which you have together, you should make every attempt to seek family counseling to resolve the conflict. If after you have done so, or you feel that it is useless to make such an attempt, you should seek a competent divorce attorney- mediator to help you go through the divorce process. You’re are absolutely right in deciding not to move into the home and expose yourself and your children to physical abuse. Until you are totally satisfied that the abuse has stopped and will not return, you should avoid living together in the same quarters. I strongly suggest that you discuss these issues with your spouse immediately and in a public location, where you will have less chance of being subjected to physical abuse.

If you do get divorced, your husband, as the sole provider of the family, will be required to provide you with some form of spousal support and child support.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions