Unfortunately, New York State still requires grounds and, although your husband’s videotaping you in the shower is, as you say “weird”, it is not a ground recognized by the statute. You would have to prove “cruel and inhuman treatment”, which may include the videotaping, but most likely would require other acts which indicate some fear of physical or mental threat placed upon you by your spouse during the course of your marriage.
With regard to the ownership of the home and the savings account, any asset including money acquired during the course of the marriage would be considered marital property, regardless of in whose name the property is held, (unless acquired by gift or inheritance), and under the Equitable Distribution law in the State of New York, would generally be divided 50-50.
I strongly suggest that you discuss the issue of divorce with your husband, suggesting that you mediate the divorce.
If you are living in the New York City metropolitan area, please contact me at 212-370-1660 to discuss the matter in more detail .
Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions