Divorce Solutions

Question #90

My husband and I have been married for almost three years, but we have been living apart for the past six months. I found out he had had numerous affairs. Although we are living apart, he is still paying the rent. I pay the childcare, cable, coned bill, child medical expenses, and any other child-related expenses. He makes about eight to ten thousand dollars more than I do, but I am paying more expenses than he is. He occasionally buys milk, diapers, clothes, etc…, for the kids, but it is mostly on me. Don’t get me wrong. I am glad he is still paying the rent because I could not afford to pay it along with all of my other expenses.
• I believe he may be doing it to keep an upper hand on me and the apartment. It can’t continue like this. He seems perfectly happy with this situation. We got the apartment together when we were married(it’s a rental), but his name is the only name on the lease. Can I be forced out of the apartment because my name is not on the lease? He is currently living with a friend, and our one-year-old twins live with me in the apartment. My husband comes and goes as he pleases because he still has a key, and I am afraid to change the locks because I do not know if I can legally do it. He does spend time with the kids, and I want that to continue, but he has the best of both worlds. He can come and go as he pleases in our apartment, and when he leaves at night, he can do whatever he wants. The next morning it begins again. I want a divorce, but he does not. What should I do? What rights do I have to the apartment and what help can I get with child care expenses?

If you are serious about improving your “limbo” situation and getting on with your life, you must decide whether you want to file for divorce or not. You have children, and you owe it to them if not to yourselves to try to make the marriage work. Have you tried marriage counseling?

If counseling is not an option or fails, you must seriously discuss divorce with your husband making it clear to him that the present system can no longer go on. I strongly suggest you opt for mediation rather than litigation, and I would be happy to discuss mediation with both of you.

In any settlement or court decision, you will receive child support and have the title to the lease transferred to you ( with the landlord’s cooperation).

If you are located in the NYC metro area, call me at 212-370-1660.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq. / Divorce Solutions