Divorce Solutions

Question #112

I have been married almost ten years-4/20/04. If I get a legal separation, can I also stay on the medical insurance. He is a Suffolk County police officer- the insurance for me and the two kids is free- no out-of-pocket expenses. Also, he is an extreme drinker and has some police reports filed on him for abuse to me only -the abuse (all of them has been since a month after we married. I have always kept a diary and can list all the times, which he has often been involved in his behavior. To top this, he has many girlfriends. One, after two years of coming here breaking in, ramming garage doors and getting my husband loaded work gun and holding James & I hostage, etc. His boss finally kept coming here and finally talked me into an order of protection -in which she violates here and there- but its much better.
My husband still meets her. He goes to all her court dates and has a tattoo on his arm of her name for about two years now. I live in fear from him every day do not have any access to money. While it’s pretty horrid, he does not hurt the kids. He ignores them; always did. Their ages are 5,7 they do not like him and are telling me not to let him in the home and want a new nice dad, well he does make $102,000 a year. Still, he fails to give us money, and I mention he goes missing for days, sometimes weeks, etc. with no way to contact him -my mom lives downstairs and thank god for her she doesn’t make much with social security but can help sometimes. I have recently had to go to a church for food. It was embarrassing he keeps his paycheck cash in his wallet; there is no money anywhere in accounts. He pays bills sometimes, but the house went into foreclosure twice. My friend gave me the money to save my youngest child will be going to school soon he forbids me to work all these years, and have to produce receipts when he gives me food money to check to make sure I never get change back and to see and criticize what food I bought.
My friends help to get me hand- me- downs for me and the kids and even bought them new jackets for the winter when they came here (which is only allowable when James is working). He does not know we are not allowed to have anyone over to visit- anyway I cried when I got the jackets- our home is falling apart it was a foreclosure when we got it and needs lots of work which he does not want to or have any repairs, so it is not worth much. But he always on vacations himself, out at bars all of the time, sporting events, rock concerts, etc. And the cable shut off again. Phone disconnected again because he so late paying or for lack of not paying them, etc.. what would be the best thing to do –also he does want a divorce or separation -that he is handling everything etc-but he does not. I need help-also he has a son who is 12 from a previous girlfriend he never sees him last time maybe three years ago my kids and I would get and see him 100x more than James-the child support is 700.00 a month which is garnished from his paycheck. I sure this would have some bearing on kids and me. I live in New York State. Could you tell me how much I would receive in child support thank you- sorry it is so long, but I guess you would need to know basic of components thank you, please write back.

As part of any court settlement, if you cannot afford health insurance for your children and yourself, the court will require your husband to provide it, either through his employer, if possible, or through some independent means. If you are unable to work or must tend to the children because they are infants, the court will require your husband to provide you with spousal support. Also, he will be required to provide you with child support for the children and remain with the children in the family residence. The exact amount of support both spousal, and child, will depend on several factors, including your income, if any, his income, and what your total assets are (Statement of Net Worth).

If you feel that you with and or the children are in danger, you should call the police and get an order of protection.

Leonard M.Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions