SPOUSAL SUPPORT

Oct 31, 2018

Question #211:First – My husband and I have been married (in NY)almost 21 yrs- both NY residents , and I have for the most part been a stay at home mom during our marriage (we have a 19 yr old college student living at home which her college funds are paid for out of our account. – Husband is a Lt. in the FDNY -(he is 54 yrs old ) and WE own our home-mortgage free -worth approx $250,000-$300,000. He earns anywhere from $78,000-$95,000 a yr. -Over the years – my husband has been mentally abusive to me more each year- but I have been too scared to voice it to anyone as it is he who is the one that “puts the bread and butter on the table”. The mental abuse has mounted to the point- that I am at wits end . A few years ago- i had 3 heart attacks in one yr -leading to a triple bypass – finality of it all- I am disabled – with oxygen, and have cardiac heart failure , COPD(emphysema) and Hypertension-which he is the major contributing factor. -He has always handled all the finances , and i have no idea of what stocks, bonds etc are being deducted out of his paycheck, and I have no income and qualify for absolutely nothing – ie: Disabiltiy. I am unable to work as well. -Even though this has been going on for years- for the past year – I live/sleep in a separate room in our home. I have talked to him about getting a divorce – and he offered me pocket change if it is uncontested. I did some reading on my own – and gave no reply. -He said he talked to some friends at the firehouse – and they told him that I HAVE NO GROUNDS … -Since i have no income- i can’t afford an attorney … and don’t know what to do. I’m at the point that if i can’t get a divorce from his that will comfortably support me for the few years i have left — i hope the next heart will be my last so i don’t have to deal with him. Please guide me… By the way- many years back when i was in better health and went to various FDNY functions with him – i used to overhear all kinds of stories of tricks some of these guys use to hold onto as much as they can during a divorce….. Many thanks

New York State now has a so called “No-Fault “ provision in which irreconciable differences are sufficient grounds to file for divorce. If you do not have any income of your own the court will make your husband pay for your attorney . Since you are ill and have a marriage of long duration, the […]

Oct 31, 2018

Question #210:I am married for 5 years in NY with no children but suffer from chronic illness making me unable to work. I don’t know my rights and need to get out of this marriage. What am I legally able to fight for? Alimony/maintenance? Healthcare? I am too sick for to stay in this and too sick to leave. Thank you

If you are unable to work , your spouse will be responsible for your support. He will also be responsible for your health care needs , and any other needs he has been providing during the course of your five year marriage. The amount of such support , and the duration of such report will […]

Oct 31, 2018

Question #204:I am looking to go ahead with getting a divorce from my Husband of 20 yrs who left me to move from TX(where I live, to NY(Queens). I want to know can I file for divorce in NY & demand spousal support. During our seperation he caused me to have a nervous breakdown, lost my job of 18yrs with Nordstorm. Having to be under a doctors care for shaking spells, etc. I look forward to your response.

If your husband is living in NY for more than two years, or even one year under certain circumstances, you can file in NY and you would be able to file for spousal support if he was supporting you during your marriage. Please call me at 212-370-1660 to discuss the matter at greater length. Leonard […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #134:Married 28 years,became disabled 1995 permant. 13 year old daughter for both need to leave home per doctors, emotionally. what kind of support can i expect for both of us. long beach, n.y.

The amount of support will depend on your spouse’s income. The statutory requirement for child support for one child is approximately 17 percent of the total income of both parents up to $80,000, after which the court has discretion. Spousal support or maintenance will depend exclusively on your ability to earn income, your spouse’s income, […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #133:One of my friends was married in february 2003 and has now decided to separate from his spouse but is trying to be understanding about her situation. Her situation is that she is awaiting citizenship papers. Now I am worried for him because when the time comes she may want to take spousal support from him because she works off the books. He says she is a good person just that he is not in love so he doesn’t believe she will do something like that. However I am a woman and I know better. They don’t have any children from one another, however she did give birth to a stillborn last month; october. They both live in NYC. What are the laws of alimony in this case? Thank You.

The longer your friend remains married, the stronger his spouse’s claim to spousal support, especially since she is not working and he is the sole support for both of them presently. He should also think twice about whether he wishes to continue to remain as her immigration sponsor in the United States since he may […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #129:My husband filed for divorce after 21 yrs. of marriage after meeting someone a month before. We live in NY. At this time my 3 boys were 21, 18,16. I never worked.There were 4 properties to be divided, laundromats, contracting businesses, my x hadn’t filed taxes since 96, and much more. My lawyer was horrible. I wrote her letters numerous times. I had consults with other lawyers to see if they would take over my case. They wanted a lot of money because of the mess and I didn’t have the money to give them. I had no cash. On the day of the inquest, we were in the halls of the courts trying to split properties based on a “draft” settelement. My lawyer never went over it with me or discused with me my life style and that of my boys or the cost of living for me and my boys. My boys were the biggest concern to me and she repeatedly told me the two oldest are not my problem. It was very unprofesssional. To make a long and complicated story short, I went befor a judge for an inquest – I did not know what this was. I was tired and disgusted. Never thinking or knowing this was my final contract. My x was in contempt for all other pende- lite motions – never returned furniture, didn’t have art work appraised that he stole out of the house (over $100,000), didn’t give me maintenance and child support for two months, didn’t do repairs on the home, etc. My lawyer did nothing even though I was angry – she told me to stop worrying about the little things. and since all the court orders that were ordered in the previous months were ignored I thought initialing the papers was just temporary – my divorce settlement is only 7 pages, a lot of cross outs – a disgrace. Medical was never mentioned but in the papers sent to the judge to be filed my sweetheart of a lawyer added that I would be fully responsible for medical for myself and my youngest son. Regarding my youngest son’s education – she wrote that we would go to court if we could not agree. Since we don’t speak – we didn’t agree. I could not afford it, I can not get loans. My father helped out the first semester. The judge did not sign the papers until last month so now I can go to court and have the judge decide who has to pay. My x can afford it. My x is also suing me because I have not transferred deed. After the inquest, I asked my lawyer to do a title seach on the two properties I was awarded, she did it on the matriamonal property. With the transfer of deed papers she sent me a judgment or lien. There is a $200,000 lien on my property so I refused to transfer the deeds because no one can tell me if the lien will come off with his name. Another property I received has a satisfaction. At the day of the inquest I was told I would have to pay a man $2300 a month cash, because my x said he used the builiding for collataral but didn’t explain for what. I wanted to see the note – still haven’t. So next week I am going to court. My x is suing me for legal fees,want’s to get sherriffs to take baseball cards out of the house, force me to transfer deeds and to pay a loan shark. I am going to court alone – can’t afford a lawyer. Like I said this divorce was a disgrace and handled very unprofessional. Any advice for me would be appreciated? Do you think I have grounds to sue my lawyer and if you do can you recommend anyone?

I cannot overemphasize the need to find experienced, competent, matrimonial counsel when searching for legal representation in a divorce situation. From your description it is apparent that your lawyer neglected to inform you of the terms of the proposed settlement as they were being discussed and deliberated and to properly investigate the property that was […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #127:My husband and I have been married for 20 years. We live in New York. He left the house. We have 2 children together. I make more money than him. Do I have to pay him alimony? Does he get half of my pension? Do I have to be legally separated for him to only get 1/2 pension for the time we were married? Thanks!

You indicate that you have two children but do not mention their ages. If they are under 18 years of age, there is a question of custody and child support which must be determined in the course of the separation and divorce process. With regard to alimony,, which is now referred to as spousal maintenance […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #126:I have been married to this man for 8 years …he has spinal injury and is confined to a wheelchair…When we first got married he was walking with canes and he told me that it was temporary that he would walk again. However shortly after we got married he sustained a fracture and refused to continue therapy so he could walk with canes again but instead requested a wheelchair. Our relationship has deteriorated sexually and otherwise. He is now impotent…we haven’t had sex in over 5 years and I have never cheated on him…He does not want me to work..so I can serve him hand and feet…He refuses to go on disability because this is his way of controlling me…he brings in the money and I serve him hand and feet and remain his prisoner…I am now 51 years old and I just can’t take this anymore..It is driving me crazy…I want a divorce but the house is on his name and I have nothing….no job no money…every time I get a job he manipulates me into quitting….please help me….I am not a greedy person I just want to be compensated for all the time I gave to him…I have had no life since the day I married him…he managed to alienate me from all my friends and family…I would really appreciate your advice on how I can go about getting a divorce from this man and be able to get something to start a new life with….I am a medical transcriptionist by trade so I can still get back in the job market and be able to take care of myself but right now I have no money of my own…my mother left me $13,000.00 when she died but he put it on both our names and we don’t have even that much in the bank anymore….thanks again .

From the facts which you present, it sounds like family counseling should be your first choice and not divorce mediation. Severe sickness or disability of one spouse places a tremendous emotional and physical burden on the healthy spouse and it is not unusual for you to react in the way you are. I strongly suggest […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #124:hello. i am 36 yrs old and have been married for 6 yrs. my wife and i have come to an agreement that we need a separation. we have 2 children. the car the condo, all of our possessions we attained during the marriage. i am working but my wife is currently unemployed. she is about to get a job that will potentially pay her six figures(double what i make). i am willing to pay child support but what happens when she gets the job? ami still responsible to pay her funds even though she makes double what i do? we have agreed on terms for the separation but just need to have it finalized. can you help me with the name of someone in bklyn or manhattan that can help? thank you for your help in this matter.

If your wife becomes financially self-sufficient, you will not be required to pay spousal support for her. You will be responsible to pay your share of the child support. There are, however, many more issues to be resolved and to be incorporated in a written Separation Agreement, (e.g. child custody, child support division of marital […]

Oct 30, 2018

Question #112:i have been married almost 10 years-4/20/04 if i get a legal seperation can i also stay on the medical insurance- he is a suffolk county police officer- the insurance for the me and the two kids is free no out of pockets expenses for him. Also he is an extreme drinker and has some police reports filed on him for abuse to me only -the abuse (all of them has been since a month after we married- i have always kept a diary and can list all dates which is quite often he has involved in his behavior and to top this he has many girlfriends and one after two years of coming here breaking in , ramming garage doors and getting my husband loaded work gun and holding james& I hostage and etc. his job finally kept coming here and finally talked me into order of protection -in which she violates here and there- but its much better-my husband still meets her goes to all her courts dates and has a tattoo on his arm of her name about 2 years now. i live in fear from him everydayi do not any acess to money and well its pretty horrid-he does not hurt the kids just ingores them alaways did- their ages are 5 ,7 they do not like him and are telling me not to let him in the home and want a new nice dad, well he does make $102,000 a year but he fails to give us money and i mention he goes missing for days, sometim weeks etc with no way to contact him -my mom lives downstairs and thank god for her she doesnt make much with social security but can help sometimes. i have recently had to go to a church for food it was embrassing he keeps his paycheck cash in his wallet there is no money anywhere in accounts and he pays bills sometimes but the house went into foreclosure twice and my friend gave me the money to save my youngest child will be going to school soon he forbids me to work all thses years, and have to produce receipts when he gives me food money to check to make sure i never get change back and to see and critize what food i bought. my friends help to get me hand me downs for me and kids and even bought them new jackets for the winter when they came here (which is only allowable when james is working) and he does not know we are not allowed to have anyone over to visit- anyway i cried when i got the jackets- our home is falling apart it was a foreclosure when we got it and needs lots of work which he does not want to or have any repairs so its not worth much. but he always on vacations himself, out at bars all of the time, sporting events , rock concerts etc.. and the cable shut off again and phone disconnected again because he so late paying or for lack of not paying them etc.. what would be the best thing to do –also he does want a divorce or seperation -that he is handling everything etc-but he does not. i need help-also he has a son who is 12 from a previous girlfriend he never sees him last time maybe 3 years ago me and my kids would get and see him 100x more than james-the child support is 700.00 a month which is garnished from his paycheck. i sure this would have some bearing on me and kids. i live in New York State. Could you tell me how much i would receive in child support thank you- sorry its so long, but i guess you would need to know basic of components thank you please write back.

As part of any court settlement, if you cannot afford health insurance for your children and for yourself, the court will require your husband to provide it, either through his employer if it possible, or through some independent means. If you are unable to work or must tend to the children because they are infants, […]

LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.

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Question #134:Married 28 years,became disabled 1995 permant. 13 year old daughter for both need to leave home per doctors, emotionally. what kind of support can i expect for both of us. long beach, n.y.