GROUNDS

Oct 29, 2018

Question #170: Hi, I and my husband are both residents of NY. We’ve been married for 3 months and have a 9-month-old child. I am not sure if I can qualify for the grounds to be divorced – I have been verbally and physically abused but never filed a complaint and have no police report. There are only couple of pictures of bruises on my face taken by me in the beginning of the year. I know that my husband will not agree to divorce. We currently stay together but do not communicate. Is there a way to make him leave the apartment (it’s under my name)? And do I have a chance to get divorced? If we stay together for a year but don’t have intimacy will it be considered as grounds? How can I prove that we aren’t close? Will the child stay with me?

If you have been verbally and physically abused during these three months of marriage and can convincingly testify to the court as such, you will have grounds for cruel and inhuman treatment in New York. The pictures, if authentic, and were taken at the time of the incident, will also be helpful. If there are […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #160: Me and my husband got married legally in NY 15 October 2007 and religiously married 19 Oct 2007 ( registered by state of NY). but did not start living together until 14 march 2008 . I love him a lot even though it was arranged marriage he never really accepted the marriage well enough but from my end i have fulfilled all the duties of a good wife. his shopping meals the house everything I took care of personally him and my in laws really didn’t treat me good enough and we were having problems one day he was kicking me out of the house and slapped me and abused me and I called the police, but not with the intention of getting him arrested ..I just got scared and thought he needs to understand he can’t treat his wife like that. He was in jail for 24 hours and now the state put a case against him and max he will have to pay a fine violation or misdemeanor. and I did everything in my reach to get him out of this trouble . But now he wants a divorce and he puts grounds of adultery and cruel inhuman treatment. I know he doesn’t really know divorce is a wrong step . I want to stop it by contesting and making him realize we can work it out. But how can he prove inhuman treatment??? can he say I sent him to jail but he did something wrong and for that time he deserved that otherwise he would not realize his mistake. did I do anything wrong , I have always had best favor of him.

You did the right thing by calling the police when you were threatened with physical abuse. Your husband must know that that is unacceptable behavior and will not be tolerated. No one should allow himself or herself to be physically abused in any way. In New York one must prove grounds in order to get […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #150: My best friend has been legally married to his wife for 3 years now but they have NEVER lived together since getting married.He resides in VA for work and she resides in Queens NY with their 3 year old daughter. They just got a legal separation document in March of 2008. My question is since they have not resided together the entire duration of the marriage and they have not slept together in 2 years do they have to wait out the legal separation period of a year to have a finalized divorce or can they divorce now? They both agree it is a no fault divorce. Please advise, he would like to end this marriage sooner rather than later. Thanks!

If the grounds for the divorce are based on the executed Separation Agreement, then they will have to wait the full year. It is possible , however, to file under other grounds which will permit the couple to get divorced immediately, without waiting the year. If your friend is living in the NYC metro area, […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #143: I am in a unique situation, I have been married for a month and a half and want to get a divorce. I married him because at the time I was pregnant and my mother threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn’t. A few days after the marriage I miscarried and since then all I recieve is verbal abuse on a daily basis. I need to get out of this relationship. Is it possible with such a short time period after the marriage? If so, how long can it take to complete?

In order to get a divorce in NY you must have grounds, such as adultery, cruel and inhuman treatment, abandonment, etc. If your spouse is cooperative we can find the proper grounds to sue for an immediate divorce. If you are living in the NYC metro area, please call me to discuss mediating your divorce […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #142: I have lived in a nightmare for the past two years. My husband of 31 years cheated on me with my so called best friend. Not only was she my friend but for the last two years she worked for me and I had no recourse at work but to work along side of her otherwise I would have lost my 21 year job. Because I live in this Great New York, the laws are terrible. I had emails that they shared and cards and also copies of his poems to her. Since they were not caught in the act, I cannot sue for adultery. I have been back and forth in court for the last year and since it is a NO FAULT State, me the innocent party suffers. I am 50K in debt with one lawyer who I dismissed and now I have another lawyer and it still goes on. What makes matters worse is that I make more money then he does, so since I do and he has no benefits I have to share all of my retirement benefits. To make matters worse he wants survivor benefits. Not only survivor benefits, but my pto Paid Time Off. He wants half of that when I retire. Let’s see, oh yes he wanted support, he wants me to have a life insurance policy, the list goes on and on. I can even go further and tell you that this man that I have no idea who he is, took private pictures of me during our marriage and when I found his emails to his girlfriend, I found he had been posting my pictures on the Internet at different porno sights. Well New York has no laws on this either, so all he has received by the District Attorney and the Judges here in Putnam County, but a slap on the wrist. I have to sell the house and all I do is clean up his mess.

This really does sound like a Divorce Horror Story that unfortunately occurs much too often as a result of our legal system and its warped sense of justice. Try mediating your divorce . If your spouse refuses, I suggest you find another attorney who is experienced in matrimonial matters and can better represent you. You […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #138: I have been married for less than 6 months and I’m considering divorce; based on the information I read it seems that an annulment is out of the question. But I would like to know what exactly constitutes fraud (in regards to an annulment)? My husband is 20 and I’m 27 and we only lived together for the first 2 months of our marriage. He is currently in a government funded school program…..Can my husband ask for alimony even though we do not live together? Can I have him served with divorce papers at his school??? Can anyone serve him??? I would appreciate any help in this matter…..never thought I would have to go through this…..but I’m sure that’s what a lot of us are saying!!!

Fraud has to be something the Court would consider serious, such as he told you he wanted children and he could not have children or he did not disclose to you that he has a serious mental or physical ailment for which he has been hospitalized in the past and which would interfere with his […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #130: If I was married in south America in the 60s moved to the US and became a duel citizen have been in NY ever since. Now I want to get a divorce but here is the detail Husband was in jail for 10 yrs and was released back in 2003 and we tried to live together. He then last year left to live with his girlfriend for a couple of weeks and it didn’t work so he came back. We are in the process of selling our townhouse and I just want to be rid of him. Can I get a “default divorce” in my favor??

There is no such thing as a “Default Divorce”! You must serve the other party and if your souse contests the divorce you must prove grounds for divorce. If you are located in the NYC metro area, please call me to discuss the matter at greater length. Leonard Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Oct 29, 2018

Question #129: I live in a suburb of NYC. I have been married for 5 years and have one child (1 year). I am completely miserable in my marriage. My husband and I do not love or even like each other; however, I know I do not have legal grounds for divorce in NY. When I bring up the topic of divorce/seperation he tells me to leave but to leave our son with him. He says he would never separate without full custody of our son. I would be willing to share custody (if I was the primary custodial parent). I would not even want spousal support-just child support. My question(s) is/are am I stuck in this marriage due to lack of legal grounds and refusal of my husband AND if divorce is possible could he really get custody of my son? I am currently a part time NYC school teacher. I stopped working full time when my son was born. I could go back full time whenever I want; however, even if I worked full time he earns more than double what I do-would this impact custody? Also, I would have to reside with my parent’s (more than enough room for my son and I) for about a year to get on my feet. My husband could afford to live on his own.

I live in a suburb of NYC. I have been married for 5 years and have one child (1 year). I am completely miserable in my marriage. My husband and I do not love or even like each other; however, I know I do not have legal grounds for divorce in NY. When I bring […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #126: Hello, My husband and I created a Separation Agreement about a year ago, privately between the two of us. We are best of friends and still live together, (roommates- no sex), and lead separate lives. We have no children, property, or anything together. We each have our own things. Though we do file joint taxes. We got married because we thought it was the next step, but we really are just best of friends. We are very amicable J We now wish to move forward and divorce. My questions are: 1- Can we still live together (as roommates- no sex involved). 2- Did our living together ruin it in the “eyes of the law” and so they won’t view us as “separated” and we have to start over!!? 3- As neither one of us is abusive, we have not abandoned each other, or been adulterer’s etc… what could we use for grounds? Thank you.

Unless you had experienced, legal counsel when you drafted and executed the “homemade” Separation Agreement, I doubt whether it is legal or valid. I cannot overemphasize the need for experienced, legal counsel when it comes to such important matters. It is possible to still live in the same quarters and be separated but it would […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #125: I’ll make this short and to the point. Hopefully I will give enough information to get an answer. In the next 2 months I plan to leave my husband. He hasn’t cheated on me (as far as I know) and vice versa. He isn’t physically abusive, he’s just not supportive emotionally. In my opinion he is a self-centered controlling mommas boy. He is an only child of a woman that has too much input in our lives. Over the years I have become very unhappy and withdrawn. We have a 4 year old child. I want to leave, we have about $50,000 in the bank. Because I know that he will make it very hard for me to get any of that money my plan is to move mine and my child’s things out the house while he is at work. Go to the bank and take 50% of what is in the accounts. I’m not going to take any of the furniture just my belongings. I work and have always worked. We pay all the bills together. I’m the primary caretaker of our child, I’m the one that tends to all his emotional needs, the doctors appt, the school trips and anything else that is involved in our child’s upbringing. My husband doesn’t do anything for our child except show up. My husband is not a bad father, he’s just not a good one. He doesn’t know how to be there for anyone but himself. I have no intention of keeping our child from him. We can share custody I just want physical custody of our child. I live in NY and know that I can’t file for divorce immediately. I don’t want ANYTHING from him except for him to take care of his child. If he and I can work that out between the two of us I prefer to do it that way. I don’t want to run back and forth to court, don’t want lawyers involved. I just want to get on with my life without him, but we can try and be friends for the well being of our child together. What legal advice can you give? Oh, we have been married for 4 years

First, it is a common misconception among many people that you cannot file for divorce immediately in the New York State. You can file for divorce immediately depending on what the grounds are. You will , however, need grounds such as cruel and inhuman treatment, or abandonment or the like. If the money you mentioned […]

LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.

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