FINANCIAL ISSUES – MARITAL PROPERTY V. SEPARATE PROPERTY – Page 11

Oct 31, 2018

Question #216: I’m not married but I have been with my fiance now 14yrs! I have a 4yr old daughter, and we just purchased a home 1yr ago in NJ. Things have not been going well in our relationship..we’ve tried counseling, but it didn’t work. We both talked about separating, but he says he has to have custody of our daughter. Both of us are good parents, we both work, and both do our share of things around the house. He works more hours than I do, and of course I do most of the spending time with my daughter..I do all the things a Mother has to do for there child. I’m not saying he’s a bad father..but I feel that I can take better care of her than he would. He say’s he’ll fight to the end, to have custody of her. Is there any way a judge can turn and give custody to a Dad instead of the Mother? and why? also, what would happen with our home, our belongings etc? since were not married? Please Help.

Based on the information that you provided, it seems unlikely that the judge would award your spouse custody of the child. In all likelihood , you would remain the residential parent , and perhaps both parties share custody. With regard to your financial matters, it would be necessary to see exactly how title to the […]

Oct 31, 2018

Question #215:I was hoping you could help me out with a serious problem I’m having. I live in NY State and I am engaged to a man that has been separated from his ex for about 5 years. When he decided it was time to start divorce proceedings, he hired a lawyer. His lawyer went to the court house to get a copy of the separation agreement only to find out that it had never actually been filed with the court although both my fiance and his ex had lawyers at the time. So, our lawyer decided he would base the divorce on abandonment, which was fine for both parties. So, here’s the kicker..myfiance (Jim) and his ex have 2 children together. Jim pays $126.32/wk in child support out of a $300/wk income as so ordered by the family court judge, so obviously money is tight in our home. Anyway, when Jim’s lawyer contacted his ex about the divorce, she wrote him an e-mail stating that she would only sign the papers if he agreed to the following terms.. 1) He must take out at least a $100,000 per kid life insurance policy on himself making his kids sole beneficiaries. 2) He must pay for half of the medical care, dental care, etc. until they are 21 or have completed college. 3) He must pay for half of all the kids extracurricular activities. Including books, sports equipment, tennis lessons, piano lessons, swimming lessons, summer camp, dance lessons, etc. 4) He must pay for half of the kids’ college tuition and any bills they may incur for college. Right now the kids are covered by CDPHP for their doctors bills and such and will obviously be covered by Jim’s employment’s insurance should he have that available in the future. Jim pays for the kids to play little league and soccer and the things kids do around here. We live in a small town in upstate NY and make modest incomes, but Jim’s ex is living a dream. She complains about money problems, but puts the kids in piano and karate lessons, which they don’t even like, just to keep up with the Jones’. We could only imagine, if Jim is forced to pay half of these things, she would be enrolling the kids in everything she could find. As far as paying the college goes.. there is no doubt that Jim will help his kids in any way he can to put them through college if he has the resources to do it, but it sounds unreasonable to ask him to pay half the expenses. With all the legal aid and such out there, he doesn’t feel he should be written into something like that. And there is no way that on Jim’s salary he can afford 2 life insurance policies. Jim is an only child who takes care of his wheelchair-bound father for $300 a week and $126.32 comes out of that every week. He just can’t afford any of this. So, it seems that neither Jim nor is ex is willing to budge on this matter. She is a very spiteful woman and there is no way she will change her mind about this. We are about ready to cut our loses and see if we can get back any of our money from the lawyer. But what I really want to know is how long this can go on for. Can she just hold out on these demands and never sign the divorce papers? Will Jim have to give in and let her have what she wants just to get this divorce finalized? Is there ever going to be a point where a judge says “enough is enough” and grants my fiance a reasonable divorce? I’m sorry this letter turned out to be so long, but I just don’t know where else to turn. Jim’s lawyer doesn’t specialize in divorce and he isn’t much help on this matter. I would really appreciate it if you could please give me some advise. Thank you so much.

You need to change lawyers! You need an attorney experienced in matrimonial matters who can assist you. What his spouse is asking for does not sound unreasonable, but I do not have all the relevant facts to offer a serious opinion. Life style, disparity in incomes, needs of the child, etc. are all relevant issues. […]

Oct 31, 2018

Question #213:We have been married for eight years, and are going for a divorce, and live in Rochester NY. Am I entitled to alimony? Someone told me I would have to be married at least ten years.

DO not listen to such people! Your getting spousal support will depend on you and your spouse’s income status, whether you are capable of earning on your own (i.e. work experience and training, etc.), standard of living while you were married, etc. Leonaed Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Oct 31, 2018

Question #212:I’m writing to inquire about 2 things. First- my husband (of 20+ yrs) and i want to get an amicable and uncontesable divorce- and we are both residents of NY. My husband said that he will agree to any ” reasonable” request i ask… plus i want to leave the state of NY permanently. Hubbie is an officer in the FDNY and i have been unemployed for many years -being a homemaker and raising our daughter who is now a legal adult. However -I did work for 2 years (2001-2003) but had 3 heart attacks – now living with Congestive Heart Failure, ACS and COPD after stent implants and a triple bypass. We own our co-op outright. In addition to a fair financial amount i have discussed with him -plus a monthly allowance(which i am sure he will agree with)… what else should i consider … ie: his FDNY pension , any other pension plans he may have, medical & prescription plan (although i plan on moving immediately to another state after divorce),and will i still be eligible to collect on his social security when he and i are of age – even though he is 54 and i am almost 50(if i live long enough I am unable to collect SS disability as i did not pay into social security since 1992.)? This is not something that just came over us overnite- it has been in the making for the past 2 years-and although we live under the same roof- we sleep in separate rooms. *****Also- what would the legal fees for a situation such as this amount to in total for both parties- and do we each need a lawyer or can we just have one? Thank you for your time.

Since you are in a marriage of long duration and have not worked much, you should receive spousal support from your husband. You must have an experienced, matrimonial attorney prepare the documentation and help you work out the details, especially the division of the social security benefits. If you are located in the NYC metro […]

Oct 31, 2018

Question #211:First – My husband and I have been married (in NY)almost 21 yrs- both NY residents , and I have for the most part been a stay at home mom during our marriage (we have a 19 yr old college student living at home which her college funds are paid for out of our account. – Husband is a Lt. in the FDNY -(he is 54 yrs old ) and WE own our home-mortgage free -worth approx $250,000-$300,000. He earns anywhere from $78,000-$95,000 a yr. -Over the years – my husband has been mentally abusive to me more each year- but I have been too scared to voice it to anyone as it is he who is the one that “puts the bread and butter on the table”. The mental abuse has mounted to the point- that I am at wits end . A few years ago- i had 3 heart attacks in one yr -leading to a triple bypass – finality of it all- I am disabled – with oxygen, and have cardiac heart failure , COPD(emphysema) and Hypertension-which he is the major contributing factor. -He has always handled all the finances , and i have no idea of what stocks, bonds etc are being deducted out of his paycheck, and I have no income and qualify for absolutely nothing – ie: Disabiltiy. I am unable to work as well. -Even though this has been going on for years- for the past year – I live/sleep in a separate room in our home. I have talked to him about getting a divorce – and he offered me pocket change if it is uncontested. I did some reading on my own – and gave no reply. -He said he talked to some friends at the firehouse – and they told him that I HAVE NO GROUNDS … -Since i have no income- i can’t afford an attorney … and don’t know what to do. I’m at the point that if i can’t get a divorce from his that will comfortably support me for the few years i have left — i hope the next heart will be my last so i don’t have to deal with him. Please guide me… By the way- many years back when i was in better health and went to various FDNY functions with him – i used to overhear all kinds of stories of tricks some of these guys use to hold onto as much as they can during a divorce….. Many thanks

New York State now has a so called “No-Fault “ provision in which irreconciable differences are sufficient grounds to file for divorce. If you do not have any income of your own the court will make your husband pay for your attorney . Since you are ill and have a marriage of long duration, the […]

Oct 31, 2018

Question #210:I am married for 5 years in NY with no children but suffer from chronic illness making me unable to work. I don’t know my rights and need to get out of this marriage. What am I legally able to fight for? Alimony/maintenance? Healthcare? I am too sick for to stay in this and too sick to leave. Thank you

If you are unable to work , your spouse will be responsible for your support. He will also be responsible for your health care needs , and any other needs he has been providing during the course of your five year marriage. The amount of such support , and the duration of such report will […]

Oct 31, 2018

Question #209:I am buying a house by myself. The loan is only under my name. If I get divorced, can my husband force me to sell the house or is he automatically an owner because he is married to me ? Thanks

If you purchase the house in your name only with funds you had prior to the marriage or funds received as an inheritance and which were kept in an account in your name, the house would be considered separate property, not marital property, and your spouse would have no claim to it. Leonard M. Weiner, […]

Oct 31, 2018

Question #208:My husband and I are divorcing. I have a question regarding alimony. I am currently on disability for diabetes and anxiety, my husband says that since I am on disability I am not entitled to alimony. Is that true. Please let me know.

The income you receive from disability will be considered in the final determination about the appropriate amount of spousal support that you should receive., if any, depending on the difference between your husband’s income and your disability income, the lifestyle that you have been living while married, and the number of years that you have […]

Oct 31, 2018

Question #207: I live in NJ with my two sons, ages 8 and 5. My husband moved out of our house nearly two years ago and rents a cheap apartment in NYC. Neither of us has filed for divorce yet nor do we have a separation agreement, though divorce is imminent. We will be married 10 years in October. He continues to support us, paying for the mortgage, bills, etc. He earns $130,000/yr, I earn $30,000/yr working part-time so I can care for the children. All of our property and bank accounts, etc. are still in both names and we pool all of our money to pay all bills, including his apt. These are my questions: 1. Neither of us had any assets when we married, however he entered the marriage with approx $80,000 in student loan debts from his undergrad and masters degrees. We paid off the debt together from our joint income (at the time I was earning more than he was). When our assets are divided at divorce, will that $80K be considered separate debt for which he’ll have to reimburse me my half? 2. Also, in terms of gaining a more favorable settlement, should I try to stay married up to the 10 year anniversary? Will this affect alimony? I’ve heard that 10 years is the least amount of time to consider permanent alimony. But I’m starting to feel anxious for closure. 3. Assuming we file in NJ (we were married in NY and lived there for five years, then five years in NJ), is it in my best interest to file based on adultery (which he committed) or desertion (I opposed the divorce and his moving out) or does it not make any difference in the settlement if he just files a no-fault? We do plan to mediate, but I’d like to know what the likely results would be in a courtroom. Thank you for any advice.

With regard to your question relating to the student loan, the answer will depend on whether the studies for which this loan was borrowed resulted in a degree and whether that degree provided your spouse with the ability to get a license to practice his profession. Thus the answer will require more in-depth analysis of […]

Oct 31, 2018

Question #206:In 1995 my parents split and my mom filed for a legal separation. She was not in love with my dad any longer and told him. She served him papers for a divorce but he never signed them. He was still in love. He works for Verizon and for years gave her 300 dollars a week, i am 1 of 3 children. He also split his stocks with her, but for at least 7 years he was giving her 1200 a month. Heres the Million dollar question.: 1- My father has worked hard all these years and at 66 is going to retire has to sign the divorce papers now. Techincally he is still married to her. Is she still entitled to 1/2 of what he has? I kinda think it is unfair. I love them both, but there is a house worth atleast 800k which he does not mind splitting, but there is a pension also. 2. My mom is being a bit greedy and mean, saying she is gonna get what she is entitled to. Now, I know that since she wanted a divorce she has had a boyfreind and she might have had one before, I do not know. But what I do know is she has one and definately has had one since the separation. Can having a boyfriend when separated lean better towards my father not giving her as much. Like I said, I love them both, but during these years, my mom has torn this family and try to blame it on my dad. I appreciate any knowledge you can give me in helping me make my mom not as greedy.

You say that your mother filed for a legal separation. Was that separation ever completed? Did you parents enter into a Separation Agreement which both of them executed? Or, was there an order of the court confirming the Separation? If in fact there was a legal separation, the separation most likely addressed the issue of […]

LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.

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Divorce Solutions

FINANCIAL ISSUES - MARITAL PROPERTY V. SEPARATE PROPERTY

Question #213:We have been married for eight years, and are going for a divorce, and live in Rochester NY. Am I entitled to alimony? Someone told me I would have to be married at least ten years.

Question #209:I am buying a house by myself. The loan is only under my name. If I get divorced, can my husband force me to sell the house or is he automatically an owner because he is married to me ? Thanks

Question #208:My husband and I are divorcing. I have a question regarding alimony. I am currently on disability for diabetes and anxiety, my husband says that since I am on disability I am not entitled to alimony. Is that true. Please let me know.