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LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.

Divorcesolutions.com

Divorce Solutions

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COST OF MEDIATION VS. LITIGATION

Nov 27, 2018

Question #284:My wife and I are a lesbian couple who were married legally in Massachusetts four years ago, (11 years ago we had a ceremony for family and friends in California.) I have always remained a NYC resident she is currently a MA resident but planning a move to CA in a couple of months. She left me for another woman a year ago then came back to me sixth months ago and she has now decided we should divorce. I had a three times as large income for eight years of our relationship and then went onto disability and was covered by her medical insurance. We both moved to NYC then I got Medicare. We split our mutual fund in half when we first separated even though I had invested an extra $20,000 into the house and paid the full mortgage because she was in graduate school in MA and paying rent there and I had a larger salary in NJ still a NYC resident though. We sold the house, I invested the deposit and what we made off of the house $65,000 in a mutual fund which then had a large loss we sold the shares and got out 35,000. So when she first cheated we each took $17,250 out which we each felt was generous to the other. I have had my name only on a rent stabilized apartment in NYC for 27 years. We both lived here since 2010 until she again decided to divorce. She has very wealthy parents who just gave her a $30,000 gift and she has a job and next year will be awarded a fellowship about $20,000. I live on disability $1,100 a month and my Medicare premium, $110 is deducted each moth I also have to legally have another insurance Sterling $300 a month and Cigna prescription drug $100 a month. My rent in $750. She used to pay half the rent, and cable, telephone, utilities and food bills. I now am helped by the generosity of my friends. I am a person with a disability, MS, who lives in poverty. So my question: Can I contest this divorce for infidelity and get any money from her. How much would that cost? Should we file in MA where she now lives, CA where she is moving or in NYC where I have always lived? How much would it cost uncontested and how much would it cost contested? She is insisting I pay half. Can she legally do that? Can I legally insist she pays for the whole divorce? Can we divorce in NY? We are both now here more often. Do we need to appear in court together ever? Is gay marriage any different than straight marriage in these states? Thank you so much for your help. Seriously distraught and stress can make my illness much worse. I have incurred new health costs since this has all begun. ps. We shared a dog who she has left me paying for veterinary, boarding and food costs

If you have been living in NY State for a continuous period of 2 years, you can file in NY. If you are living in the NYC metro area, I strongly recommend you call me at 212-370-1660 to arrange for a meeting For us to discuss mediating your divorce. If you both agree to mediate, […]

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