Question #81: Do I have grounds for a divorce?? here’s my story. My wife has been out late a lot lately. And talking to a Fellow male military member. finally on labor day weekend after not going with us to camp (she had to work) she was supposed to arrive on Sunday a little after 3pm. after numerous phone calls to her cell phone and my home, finally her mother and I packed the kids up at 10:45pm and went home thinking the worst. when I got home there was no car there. I immediately checked the answering machine thinking car accident. nothing. I guess I came to the realization that she would be at this other man’s house. It was now 12 midnight. I got to his house and there she was. I rang the doorbell for a minute and it took about 2 mins to answer the door. She was in the back of the living room in an uncomfortable computer chair with her hair messed up. I went outside with her and asked what do you want to do, stay here or come home and talk; she kept telling me I dont know. I finally left. I stopped by the navy gate shack to file a report; at that time I didnt. I left for home appr. 1 hour later; a rep from the navy called and asked me if I wanted her to come home or go to a hotel as she was being asked to leave military housing. I said I want her to come home. when she arrived she barely said a word. After trying to talk i gave up and tried to sleep. I got up and went to the bathroom when I was in the bathroom I saw on the floor a bag with night clothes that she wears, toiletries and condoms. (I had a vasectomy in 2001. these condoms were from my drawer and forgotten until now.) I went downstairs and asked her what were these were she said “whatever”. I tried then again to sleep. I found I couldn’t. She had all the money and I needed cigs really bad by now. so I went into her purse and found condoms again. I yelled grabbed the money took both bags of condoms and went down to the navy base and filed a nine page report telling about that night and frequent times she’s been late when talking to him. Then I went home. By this time my mother talked to her and she said she would tell him she would not talk to him anymore. Then I said if she did that I would get the report back. I did and she did. I now find thru phone records that she called him the same day when I was sleeping and has continiued to do so. he now says I am following him and has pictures of this. I am not. She does not want to be married, is continually verbally abusive to me, and we still live in the same house. I gave her the bags of condoms trying to make her see that I just want to be together. So now no report, no evidence, no nothing. Last week I found a card addressed to him saying she couldn’t wait to be in his arms again. Do I have grounds for a divorce??? I can’t let her continue to try and argue with me in front of the kids. I want physical custody and she’s been staying out late still. I keep a journal of it . So I am asking you: do I have grounds for a divorce and what if any are my chances??

Assuming that you can provide evidence of such events, I believe you’ll have enough grounds to sue for divorce based on adultery. It will be up to the judge to hear your testimony and to hear the testimony of your wife and to decide if in fact you have proven the grounds upon which you are basing your divorce claim.

I cannot overemphasize the benefits of mediating, as opposed to litigating, your divorce. It will save you much time, money, and aggravation. If you are located in the New York City metropolitan area, please call me at 212-370-1660 to discuss the matter at greater length.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq.