Question #60: I have been married for 10 years and have endured verbal abuse for at least 7 of those years. The last 2 years, he feels that he has tried to improve his behavior, but I feel that the damage has been done. I no longer love him. Under what grounds in NYS can I file for divorce ? There are assets to be divided and 2 young children whose custody needs to be worked out. I would like to go through mediation – are there any “rules” where mediation cannot be used ? My husband does not feel that divorce is needed because he has made efforts to change and is quite hostile about the idea. Please help. Thanks

It is not uncommon for one party to be more advanced in the process and decision to divorce than

the other but it does not mean they will never agree to divorce. Once your husband understands that

you are serious and the marriage cannot continue he will be forced to deal with the

situation and the question before him will be “do we do it the civilized way – through mediation,

or the uncivilized way – through litigation”.

There are no “rules” limiting Mediation but it does require the consent of both parties.

Please understand that in mediation the parties are guided through the divorce process

by an experienced mediator, but all of the decisions are made by the parties – not

the mediator.

If everything else falls in place, we can find the necessary grounds for divorce.

Have you tried marriage counseling? You have two young children and owe it to them

if not to yourselves to see if there is some way to reconstruct the marriage .

If you find marriage counseling is not helpful and if you are located in the NYC

metro area please call me at 212-370-1660 to

discuss the matter further.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq.Divorce Solutions