Question #44: Nov 2006, I was granted a divorce by Nassau County in NY. I have 3 children and I am currently paying my ex-wife $2500 / month for maintenace and $2500.00/month in child support. In addition, I pay $5000.00/year towards extra-curricular activities for the children. My gross annual income before paying alimony and child support is $110,000. I have two questions, I would love to have answered. 1) Shortly after the divorce was finialized my ex-wife informed me that she was starting a county job after the New Year. (she was unemployed throughout our 15 year marriage). I don’t know what her salary is at this new job, but I can estimate that she is making about $35,000 – $40,000/year. My question is, can I petition the courts to reduce the child support payment or the $5000 extra-curicular payment? How soon can I do this? Is there a wait period with the courts since the divorce was finalised 3 months ago? 2)My children’s ages are 12(G), 9(B), and 6(B). My ex constantly complains that she doesn’t want to ‘waste’ money on a babysitter. Recently on my ex’s scheduled weekend, my daughter was participating in a dance competition in another state which my ex was attending. This was for two nights. I offered to take the two boys for the weekend, but my ex told me no since she had it under control and taken care of already. When questioned who would be watching the boys, she told me to “F” myself and that it was none of my business. I kept asking and she eventually hung up on me – never returning my calls. The next day she went off to the dance competition in another state – I drove past the house no my way home from work and no one was there. I called the house 5 times and left two voicemails, but no one answered and no one returned my calls. I then called my ex on her cell phone and left her a voicemail telling her that I wanted to know where the boys were. I explained that I just wanted to make sure they were ok. Long story short, I had to threaten her, telling her that I would call the cops since she was out of town and I couldn’t find my two boys. She then called the boys and told the oldest (9 yrs) to call me. When I questioned her about the contact details that she gave to this person watching them, she told me that “Dan (9 yr old) knows how to contact you – your number is in the book”. I never heard from my kids that night. I called their house early the next morning and my oldest son answered. My ex’s boyfriend of 3 months was watching them for the weekend. When I asked my son what number he had for me, he confirmed it was a cell which I haven’t owned in 4 years. I am truly upset that (1) she went out of town without telling me who was watching the kids (2) that she didn’t make sure that the person watching them had my contact details and vice cersa (what would happen if something went wrong with the kids and my ex is out of state??? I am very actice in their lives. I go to every (try to)sporting event, I have them every other weekend and every Tuesday. During the Christmas break I took time off from work and had them for the entire week. I was generous to my ex finiancially because I wanted to make sure the kids would be taken care of, when in fact my youngest comes with holes in his shoes. My concern is this summer. I am already paying a bunch to her and I am fearful that she won’t get proper babysitters. What can I do? What are my rights?