Question #173: I went through a New York divorce a few years ago, and the unnecessary stress and financial burden incurred was ridiculous. The so-called “adversarial” lawyers dragged out the proceedings, but it was clear, in court, that they and the judge were all buddies. My ex and I paid out a combined $20,000 and wasted two years of our lives in a contested divorce (I filed using grounds of cruel and inhuman treatment; the divorce was granted, however, using “abandonment” as grounds.) The whole game was so painful, I felt as though I should have sued the State of New York for cruel and inhuman treatment. Now one of my children is contemplating divorce. Please, New York State, don’t torture her the way you tortured her father and me!