Try contacting one of his relatives or friends who may know his whereabouts. It will be much quicker and less expensive if you can locate him and get his cooperation. If you still cannot locate him, you can file for divorce in the county clerk’s office in the county you are living in. You will have to prove to the court that you made every effort to locate your spouse but were unable to find him. You will probably have to publish an announcement in a local paper regarding your search for him.
If he has totally abandoned you and his child (assuming he is aware that he has a son), you can at the same time request sole custody of the child.
I strongly suggest that you contact the San Diego Bar association, ask for the Matrimonial department, and see if they have a pro-bono
Group that can assist you. If that is unsuccessful, contact the county clerk’s office, matrimonial part, and ask for assistance. It is important to have experienced, legal counsel to make sure you are doing this right.
Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions