In order to properly answer your question I need additional information. Was the separation a result of a court order or separation agreement between the parties? Did this agreement provide for the custody of the child?
If in fact there was no separation agreement or court order, the custody of the child remains with both parents equally, and neither has the right to the exclusive control and custody of the child to the exclusion of the other. If the husband refuses to agree to joint custody and a mutually agreeable arrangement is not possible, a motion may be made to the court in New York to compel the husband to provide equal access and custody of the child.
I strongly suggest that you call our office at 212-370-1660 to discuss this matter at greater length and to determine what exactly to do.