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LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.

Divorcesolutions.com

Divorce Solutions

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Question #1: Leading cause of divorce in the secular world?

Marriage!

Marriage!

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Previous: Question #7: Great website. My husband & I have been residents of NYS all our lives and were married here in 1988. It has been a very abusive relationship and he abuses drugs and alcohol. I filed for divorce in 2001 but backed out of it because of my fear of this man. He was arrested for domestic violence (a few months before I filed for divorce) and issued an order of protection but he was never ordered out of the house. The night they arrested him they told me that for my safety I should leave. Because of this he was allowed to stay in the house and the 3 children & I were forced to leave for our safety. My lawyer said that he could stay in the house but I had to file a petition in the court for exclusive residency if I wanted to get back in. This is totally messed up. Then he burned up all my clothes and other possessions that I was not able to retrieve because of 1. him changing the locks and 2. my fear of going back and getting hurt if I did break a window to get in, and I was told that he could do that because they were a “marital asset”. The same when he broke into my business and vandalized it, marital asset and anyone can damage their assets if they want to. Then he put advertisements on the radio using our last name instead of my actual business name saying that “John Smith is no longer in business” and saying that he no longer sold the product that I do. (Even though he was never part of my business, but it is a marital asset, purchased 1993) The radio station just said that he paid for the ad and he could run it because he did not use my business name so it wasn’t false advertising and the ad could mean that he himself was no longer selling the product. Then they suggested that I purchase advertising with them to clear up the situation. (How sick on their part). The list goes on & on and I ran out of money to fight him. Everything he did he got away with and I became an emotional basket case and moved back in fearing that I would eventually get too depressed to take care of the children. I moved back in to get him to stop. I just wanted it to end. Well, 3 years later I can’t take it anymore. My questions are, how come he was not asked to leave when he was arrested & issued an order of protection, how could he advertise like that? Also, for almost 5 months now I have been “living” in a separate part of the house and have not had sexual relations with him. If we were to get a separation agreement would I still be able to live in this house? Would this fulfill the separation agreement because I am not having sex with him? I cannot afford to leave and pay for 2 places. I am on the mortgage along with him and have pristine credit and if I leave he will not pay the mortgage (why should he, his credit is shot). Can he get me for abandonment because I am not involved sexually with him and use this for grounds for divorce if we are in the same house? (Please tell me he can). Thank you

Next: Question #2: I live in the state of Oklahoma, Tulsa co. When is it legal to date during the divorce period? Some have told me right after filing a person can date, but I am unsure. Thank you.