Visitation

I have been married for eight years. My wife and I have a baby that turned one in August of this year. On July 4, 2004, I was asked to leave the marital residence and reside in our summer home. There was never any attempt to work things out or reconcile our marriage. Divorce is/was inevitable. My wife currently does not work, based on both of our decisions after the birth of our child. In the meantime, I have fallen in love with my best friend, which has unfortunately made its way around the whole town. We have never been seen in public as affectionate but do spend plenty of time with each other. I go home at least once or twice a day to spend time with my child and have done so ever since July 4, 2004. Since the news of my affair has made its way to my wife, she has now threatened never to let me see my daughter again. I would like to know what my rights are if she can prove adultery. Does she have the right never to let me see my child, does she have the right to tell me who is allowed to be around my child and who is not? And is child/spousal support more based on a divorce by adultery? Thank you for your anticipated response in this regard.

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I am a thirty-year-old man seeking advice on how to handle addressing the problem of if my spouse(soon to be X spouse) decides to leave the state where am I left at and what suggestion would you have for figuring out I can put into the mediation to keep my son close to me or at close enough to afford to see him regularly.

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1. Can a non-custodial parent force a fifteen-year-old child to visit if the child has a stated desire not to visit this parent? 2. What are the particulars of Ohio laws and any related cases for this? 3. If taken into domestic court, would the judge, arbitrator, or mediator take the wishes, statements, and desires of the child into consideration? 4. Is the custodial parent in contempt if they do not force the child to go with the visitation parent? If so, how does one force a child of that age to comply?

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I live in NY. My divorce was finalized in December 2003. I have custody of our four children. I remarried in May 2005. My ex-husband has had supervised visitation since our separation in June 2002 because he is alcohol dependent. He has not petitioned the court to have the supervision suspended, thus showing he continues to abuse alcohol. His girlfriend, who is a police officer, is the court authorized supervisor. Over the past few years, my ex-husband has continually interfered with my parenting of the children. The older ones are teens and have been cutting school, drinking, and experimenting with drugs over the last couple of years.

I have used all resources available to help them, i.e., counseling, rehab, tutoring, grounding. My ex-husband continually undermines every form of discipline I have implemented. He tells the children that I am a psycho, replaces things I take away from them, and continually tells them I am not a good mother. He tells them that they do not need to go to counseling. He reported me to ACS in 2003, making false and unfounded accusations. And as of last week, I am under investigation again. My children have been conditioned by their father to call him immediately if my new husband or I reprimand them. Then my ex-husband dials 911 to say that children are being abused. After explaining to the police the situation, the complaint states that I (as the complainant) had a verbal dispute with my child. Ultimately my ex obtains a copy of this and tells my children that I called the police on them, stating, “what kind of a mother calls the police on her kids?” This has been the cycle for almost five years. My children are, at this point, so emotionally disturbed that I see no end to their behavioral problems unless their father either backs off entirely or by a miracle sees how detrimental his vindictive behavior towards me is to them. Counselors have tried to persuade my ex to work with me on parenting the children, but my ex will not allow the children to be accountable for their behavior. What recourse do I have to make him stop so that my children will have a chance to succeed in life?

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I am a separated dad living in New York and have been separated for almost one year with a legal written separation agreement in place since March of 2007. I currently have liberal visitation with joint custody right now for my two children of 8 & 6, which has been agreed upon in a written separation agreement. I have my children every other weekend at this time and see them regularly in the am each day before school. I would like to know since their mother has residential custody and I have always been the income provider for the family, she now works from a home-based business and contributes to no bills whatsoever with her income. Anyway, What are the procedures with regards to kids’ school breaks? Do I have to take the children, or split these school breaks with her? Am I also required to take the kids for two or more weeks per year for vacation time for her? What are the guidelines regarding these issues, if any? I, in agreeance with the separation agreement, am paying all the bills in the home, including all utilities, mortgage payments, insurance, etc….while she has no financial responsibilities at all. She lives expense-free till kids are of age. Do I also have to pay forher new car and all its expenses? I am currently also giving her maintenance monies for one year and child support as agreed. Thank you for taking the time to answer my question.

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My fiancé and I have been together now for three years. He filed for divorce five years ago, and even after two lawyers, he has not been able to get anywhere in the case. His wife just refuses to settle, and keeps adding more and more claims for money, and still refuses to allow him visitation of their now 7-year-old daughter – unless it is by “her terms.” She also has been continuously delaying conferences and production of receipts, etc. for the last 18 months. Finally, last month the judge ordered that they had to come up with a settlement by the next conference (in 2 weeks), or it would go to trial in June. After all these years, we know that she will not agree to settle and so it will end up at trial in June. My question is two-fold. At the end of the trial, will the divorce be final (as we would like to get married asap)? And secondly, what is the chance that my fiance will have to bring a separate case to get proper visitation with his daughter since the ex won’t agree to anything, and the judge does not seem to want to even address the issue? Last year, after months of trying, the judge finally granted him one weekend every six weeks, 3 hours on Friday, 8 hours on Saturday and 8 hours on Sunday – no overnights, no taking her away from the city her mother lives in, and no visiting with anyone else. The poor girl has not seen her grandparents since she was a newborn, as the ex won’t allow it. There has been NO reason for any restrictions, except that the ex is controlling and wants to make all the rules. I have three children, and my fiance is a wonderful father and poses no risk to his daughter – I can’t understand why a judge would not grant him fair visitation, yet so far he has not. As it is, just to spend these weekends with his daughter, he has to travel from Missouri to Minnesota, as they have both moved since the divorce was filed back five years ago.

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I looked at your very informative website and thought I could ask a brief question. “My wife (we are currently going through divorce proceedings) recently moved with my son out of New York State to Pennsylvania. Although I am living and working in England, my issue lies with the fact that she has not given me an address where they are living or who is living at the location?. Is this fair and reasonable for her to withhold the address and information?”

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My daughter is married and has two children, ages 4 and 7. She and her husband are separated, they lived in NY, and when they separated, the father moved back to Maryland, where his family is. He left the marital residence. My daughter has been very flexible on visitation, letting him come up and stay in her apartment to visit the children, bringing them down to Maryland 1/2 way, so the father doesn’t have to do the whole ride. The thing is, in her separation agreement, does she have to agree to make the drive for visitation, or is this his responsibility to figure out how to visit his children? He has not been cooperative, and the more she does to facilitate visitation, the more he demands. He has stated that he does not care about the children’s weekend activities and does not want to participate in them (they have missed Soccer games and Church because he will not take them). I just want to ensure that she protects herself in the separation agreement.

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