Primarily servicing the greater New York City metropolitan area



LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.
DIVORCE SOLUTIONS
206 East 38th Street
New York, N.Y. 10016
(212) 370-1660

CHILD CUSTODY & CHILD SUPPORT

Question #1: My parents had been married for 30 years when my father left my mother for another woman. During the years they were married my mother never worked she stayed home and took care of us; this was the way my father wanted it. I have three younger sisters and a younger brother. Only two are under the age of eighteen. After my father first left my mother and they went to court, he was ordered to pay a certain amount of child support and a certain amount for spousal support. They have been separated now for over a year; I get the feeling that my father is getting ready to file for divorce. What I am worried about is my mother. She still doesn't work and my one sister is getting ready to turn eighteen, although she is going to college and still lives at home. What can my mother expect. Will she get spousal support and for how long? What about child support, does it include my sister in college? I forgot to add that all parties involved live in New York State.

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Question #2: Would I lose custody of my children because I don't have a job and no longer have a place to live in because of crucial circumstances beyond my control. I am currently in school. I want to pursue a professional career. Would I lose all the rights to my children, if my husband decides to take them away from me. Also, would I be eligible for spousal support since I quit my job in Nov. of 1997 because my husband felt it was best I take care of our children?

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Question #3: I am a father of one child going on 17 yrs. old and am paying 17% of my gross income minus social security and Medicare. I would like to inquire information or find out were to find it, concerning child support payments in NY State. The required percentage is 17% as previously described. I would like to learn what this percentage is based upon and other laws governing such. Your response would be much appreciated.

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Question #4: My husband and I have agreed to try Mediation instead of going straight to the lawyers, so far it all seems to be very calm with no fighting between us. We have 3 children and live in the State of Washington. Have been married 14 years. My question is this: I will have custody of the kids, he will be paying child support, he wants to have the children 1 month each summer, which is fine and every other spring break week off school; how does the child support work in that situation?

I'm not greedy, but after almost 6 years as an at-home mom and just going back into the workforce, I'm not making a whole lot of money, so that child support is very important for paying the rent. Even though he will have the kids for 1 whole month each summer, I still have to maintain an apartment and pay the rent for when the kids come home after their month with him. In this instance, is child support prorated for how long they are with him or does he not pay it that month at all.

And what about the 1 week he will have them in the spring, is child support prorated then too?

He also wants to claim the children on his tax return because he is paying child support; it seems to me that we are both supporting the kids, since I still will be providing for them too, can he claim them or do we alternate years we claim them?

I'm so confused, I can't afford a lawyer, but I have a feeling I will have to get one to keep up with him. Can I ask the courts to have him pay the Lawyers' fees since my income is next to nothing compared to him, he makes 3 times more that I will? I would be forever grateful for any help you can send this way!!!

He has already seen a lawyer twice, I cannot afford to see one, so I feel that he has the upper hand in all of this. He keeps throwing things at me and I really don't know what to do when he suggests something.


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Question #5: 1. Can a non-custodial Parent force a fifteen year old child to visit if the child has a stated desire not to visit this parent?

2. What are the particulars of Ohio laws and/or any related cases for this?

3. If taken into domestic court, would the judge, arbitrator, or mediator take the wishes, statements and desires of the child into consideration?

4. Is the custodial parent in contempt if they do not force the child to go with the visitation parent? If so, how does one force a child of that age to comply?


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Question #6: Up until March of this year, I lived in VA. I moved to NY in the middle of March, and was married at the end of March to a NY resident. We were married in Nevada. 1. Although I haven't met the residency requirement, is it possible for a separation agreement to be drawn and executed in NY? And can the divorce papers then be filed one year after the date of separation? 2. Can the separation agreement and divorce be carried out in the state that we were married (Nevada)?

Also, she has a 2 year old child from a previous relationship. What would be my responsibilities toward this child? Would support be required on my part? (She supports the child on her own, and does not receive support, nor has filed for support, from the child's father, which does see the child a few times a month). Also, could I receive visitation/partial custody rights?


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Question #7: I have sole custody of my son. I am remarried and have been for 3 years. My son will be 5 this summer. My ex-husband has not seen him or even tried to contact him since our divorce 4 years ago. My husband would like to adopt my son. He has only known my husband as his father. We have contacted a lawyer and have begun proceedings to take away parental rights. After hiring a private investigator, I finally found him and served papers on him to contact my attorney regarding this situation. He had then hired his own attorney and said he will fight us all the way. Now the question is: If he has not tried to contact my son or send any kind of gift for holidays-birthdays, NO CHILD SUPPORT, or anything, why should he have the right to this child. This is very unfair. My son will start Kindergarten in the fall and will be registered under my husband's last name, not legally. What can we do to get my ex to sign off on my son forever so my husband can adopt him and we can go on being a "happy family"? Please help as soon as possible!

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Question #8: I am a thirty year old man seeking advice on how to handle addressing the problem of: if my spouse(soon to be X spouse) decides to leave the state where am I left at and what suggestion would you have for figuring out I can put into the mediation to keep my son close to me or at close enough to afford to see him on a regular basis. Thank you

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Question #9: 1. What are CSSA guidelines or court practice in NY for child support for income in excess of 80,000 ? Is it up to mutual agreement between parents? Is the percentage larger or lower than specified percentage ?

2. What are the rules for division of 401K plan ? The money is before taxes so if cash is given to the spouse taxes are subtracted? Is the lump sum distribution to the spouse made into separate IRA kind of account ?

3. Is it possible to reduce 1 yr waiting period in NY ?

4. Can the spouses during waiting period sell the house and move (buy new houses) in different state (NJ) ? Will the NY court accept it?


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Question #10: I was divorced in 1996 in the State of Maine and still live here. My X-wife has custody and is the primary resident parent of two boys, ages at the time, 11 and 12. Now these two boys are interested in moving into my new home until they graduate. They will still go to the same school system. They are now 13 and 14. Can this be stopped against their will? I pay full child support to the state which is deducted from my pay check each week. Will this support be canceled? Can I request child support from my X wife? Thank you.

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Question #11: I am seeking information on Joint Custody and how it works. Can you assist??

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Question #12: I have been divorced for 8 years. I have an 8 year old daughter who I see at least every other weekend. My ex-wife is thinking about moving. How far can she legally move from my residence?

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Question #13: Would it be considered kidnapping for a mother to take her ownson from husband never divorced yet separated for twelve years?She sent the child to visit 2.5 years ago, and he will not sendhim back. She said that she wants to go get her son. Would thisbe illegal? If need be, what actions should be taken first.He said that he would send him and she even sent a non stop planeticket. I neglected to mention that She lives in Texas and he is Long Island.

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Question #14: What are the statutory child support requirements?

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Question #15: My brother is supporting his daughter as result of a divorce. How long do child support obligations continue?

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Question #16: I am in dire need of a divorce; my husband is presently serving six months in jail for his fourth DWI conviction. I have two children ages six and four and would like full custody of my children in order to move out of New York State. Could you help me?

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Question #17: I was divorced in Ohio in 1995 and have a shared custody agreement for my two girls. I have always paid my child support without exception. I lost my job in January when the technology industry crashed. Despite my total lack of income and meager savings, I maintained my full child-support for 4 months, the time it took for the system to act upon my change of status. My ex-wife is taking me to court believing that my termination was staged!? She is asking that I pay her legal fees. I have found work since at a serious decrease in pay. She is requesting full reinstatement of the $$ at my old jobs rate!! So far, my attorney has told me that I am at risk, and that I will end up paying for her legal fees. I find this amazing in that a horrible event such as losing my job and industry of 20 years places me in this position. Is the system truly this horrific?? Is there anything I can do?? I feel like the good guys finish last in this system..

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Question #18: My husband and I are talking about a divorce. I live in the Metro NY area. This divorce is of his asking. What can I do, prior to talking with a lawyer to help me secure the house and custody of the children?

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Question #19: my wife moved to a new residence approximately 15 months ago. although we are not legally separated, we are in the process of getting divorced. chils support has been the primary issue holding us back. her lawyer claims i should pay 25% of my income for our two children. i wonder if this amount is correct. furthermore, i have the girls 3 days/nights a week therefore facing many of the costs associated with child rearing. i currently make about 72,000 and my wife about 38,000. i want to do what is fair, but i do not want to be taken advantage of. they are currently asking for 1,500 a month, which is impossible for me. any advice.

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Question #20: Last week I had my husband arrested for domestic violence and since then, I moved back home with my mother. I have a 4 yr old who at the time of the incident was downstairs with my in-laws. I decided it was better to leave my daughter with the in-laws because there was always someone home to bring/pick her up from school. I told my in-laws that I will pick her up from school on Fridays and watch her the whole weekend. Will this show as abandonment? Are my chances of having full custody good and in terms of finding a lawyer, do I have to find one within the area I now live?

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Question #21: Is it true that if you are a NY resident and get a divorce here my former spouse cannotleave the area with our child against my will? Also, what if she leaves the state with our child before filing divorce, how can I make her come back? Basically, I don't want to lose my child. Thanks in advance.

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Question #22: 1) How is child support allotted in NY? For 2 children, is the amount taken from the father's weekly gross paycheck or the weekly net? 2) If we live in Mitchellama housing, would the parent who remains in the home with the children have to pay equity of some kind to the parent who leaves?

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Question #23:

I am currently considering a separation from my husband. I earn substantially more than he does ($70M vs. $40M). If I retain custody of the children am I still entitled to child support and how is child support calculated?



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Question #24:

My brother and his wife live in New York State on Long Island and have been married a little over a year. They are expecting their first child in several months. Unfortunately, things have not been working out she says she wants a divorce. She has been abusive towards my brother in a physical manner i.e. throwing things at him and hitting him as well as threatening to call the police if he does not leave their home. Reconciling does not seem possible. My brother has financially invested a lot into this marriage i.e. their home, furnishings, etc. If they get divorced, will my brother be likely to pay alimony and/ or child support in this situation. Also, she has threatened to move out of state so he cannot see the child, what if anything can he do to prevent this?




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Question #25:

My son stays with me for six months a year and he spends the other six months with his mother. Am I required to make child support payments to the mother during the months that my son lives with me.



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Question #26:

I live in New York State and am considering seeking physical and legal custody of my children. Is the term "unfit mother" defined anywhere by statute or case law? if not, can you explain what may persuade a court that a mother is unfit?



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Question #27:

What is the age of consent for a child in custody lawsuits in the state of New York?? At what age do they allow the child to speak what THEY want??


I have been divorced for about 3 years now - I have joint custody of my daughter, but the ex-wife has physical custody. However I do have my daughter 3-4 days a week and have never been late on any payments - pay 100% of all medical, dental, prescriptions, whatever she needs PLUS 17%.... My daughter just informed me (she is 7yrs old) that her mother was planning on moving way out of state (other side of country) and she told her not to tell me. She is planning on moving because her new boyfriend (who she is 'engaged' to, my daughter told me - and her mother told her not to tell me) has the 'possibility' of getting a job way out there. As of yet the mother does not know that I know. My daughter is scared to death that I will tell the ex that she told me these things (she is scared of her mother).


I need to find out what I can do, i can NOT lose my daughter - i don't care if I have to sell everything I own to get the required funds for whatever is needed.



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Question #28:

Hi. My brother is in the process of a divorce. He has served his soon to be ex wife with papers and she has sent them back. Currently the two lawyers are hashing it out. His wife has been a stay at home mom for the past 3 years and he has been working in NYC making a VERY decent income. My brother is filing for joint custody of the kids. The problem is - they are living in the same home, since his lawyer told him that if he were to move out of the home, it would be considered abandonment - and this would affect his chances of custody. Although he sleeps in the basement, they share kitchen, bathroom, and living space. The two are constantly arguing - especially over petty things. All of this is causing problems with the children. They are upset, they don't understand and it is affecting them. My brother agrees that the best thing would be to move out of the house - this way his visits with the children would be pleasant and he and his soon-to-be-ex could start to work out a cordial and friendly relationship for the kids. He is afraid that he will be penalized. Is there anyway he could establish a separate residence without being penalized?

Thanks for your help. (By the way he lives in Long Island, NY)



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Question #29:

hello, my son lives in new york. i was told he has not been going to school he is 15yrs old, he'll be 16yrs old in dec. if the mother does not make hime go to school will i have to pay support to her for him. will this come under without cause, he/she withdraws parental control and supervision. per new york law.



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Question #30:

I am a female, non-custodial parent. My ex has been out of work for 1 1/2 years & recently moved home with his parents. Our son, college freshman recently rented his own apartment. Is there a legal way to pay my child support payments directly to my son?




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Question #31:

I have been divorced since 1991. My ex-husband was cheating and wanted the divorce, however I agreeed to take the blame on the divorce decree as the one who abandoned, not knowing at the time the consequences. My daughter is now 17 and he is trying to convince her to move in with him so he won't have to pay child support. My current salary will not suffice for me to survive. I am currently trying to finish my education and become self-sufficient. However, I owe money from not having sufficient income even with child support. He is an airline pilot making at least $200,000. /yr. Is there anything I can do? Also in my divorce decree it states that the decree is subject to change as deemed by the supreme court . Please notify me as to what I may be able to do.



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Question #32:

Question:


I have joint custody of my son with his father. In the agreement, we alternate who claims the child on taxes. Last year, we agreed to split time 50/50 and it is in writing in a "Memorandum of Understanding". I have counted the nights that our son stayed at my house and I had him more than his father. Plus, this is the tax season that I can claim him.


My question is do I need it in writing in our joint agreement to claim Head of Household for having more nights? Or can I claim head of household since I get to claim the boy? I don't know how all this works.


Thanks for your help.




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Question #33:

Question:


I have been married for 8 years. My wife and I have a baby that turned one in August of this year. On July 4, 2004, I was asked to leave the martial residence and reside in our summer home. There was never an attempt to work things out or reconcile our marriage. Divorce is/was inevitable. My wife currently does not work, based on both of our decisions after the birth of our child. In the meantime I have fell in love with my best friend which has unfortunately made its way around the whole town. We have never been seen in public as affectionate but do spend plenty of time with each other. I go home at least once or twice a day to spend time with my child and have done so ever since July 4, 2004. Since the news of my affair has made its way to my wife, she has now threatened to never let me see my daughter again. I would like to know what my rights are, if in fact she can prove adultery. Does she have the right to never let me see my child, does she have the right to tell me who is allowed to be around my child and who is not? And is child/spousal support more based on a divorce by adultery? Thank you for your anticipated response in this regard.



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Question #34:

Question:

My Wife and I are in the process of working out a separation agreement. All seems to be going well except for the wording on higher education.


Her lawyer put the wording for higher education as follows:


Both parties agree to contribute reasonably toward the Child's higher education based upon the respective financial circumstances of the parties at such time as she commences her higher education. The parties' obligation hereunder shall cease at such time as the minor child, becomes emancipated as set forth at paragraph 14.


I am concerned about who decided "reasonable". My lawyer said a judge would decide.

Does this language sound fair and is it normal in a separation agreement?

I wanted it to be worded more specific as to how much each would have to contribute in order to better prepare and budget for when the time comes.


Thank you.






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Question #35: My ex-wife and I are residents of NY State. We divorced in September 2004 and she moved upstate (85 miles) in December 2004. I live in NYC. We have joint custody and she is the custodial parent. I pay support and after school care for our children 10 and 14. The 14 year old is failing 2 classes and testing his limits, especially with his mother. She wants to send him to live with me and at this point financially, my new wife and I would have difficulty financially to house and feed him. She promises to send money, but has a poor track record of paying anyone - her own rent included. She threatened verbally over the phone that she would put him out onto the street if she had to. I told her to file papers for the custodial change of the 14 year old, but she insists that I have to do it. Also, throughout the divorce proceedings, she never provided an official after school care receipt. She had created the documents provided with inflated fees. She makes more money than I do ($75,000), and I am sure she will inflate the after school care fees even more if I take custody of the 14 year old. She will try to make up for losing a portion of the custody support she receives bi-weekly. I am also very concerned about splitting the brothers. I know she will not let go of the youngest child. What are my options? Does one support cancel out the other if I raise one child and she the other? How can I be protected from inflated after school care fees?Thank you for all your help.

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Question #36: CHILD SUPPORT

My son who is 18 quit school in January against the wishes of his Mother and I. He has since gotten a full time job but continues to live with his Mother.
He will be 19 in August, I have continued to pay child support, but feel that he is old enough now to be responsible for himself. Our support agreement was never done through the courts it was just a mutual agreement between my ex and me. I plan to stop the support when my son turns 19 next month, but wonder about my legal rights to do so. I have not had any contact with my son for almost a year, which is by his choosing. I have called on a regular basis but my calls are never returned.
On the occasions when I have reached his Mother her only response is that she cannot make him call me. I believe this all stemmed from my disagreeing with his choice to quit school.
Any advice or help would be appreciated.
We both live in NY.
Thank You!

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Question #37: CHILD CUSTODY AND SUPPORT

I have a 15-year old daughter with a woman to whom I wasn't married. My daughter spent the first nine years of her life living with her mother, during which time I paid full New York state child support (17%). Six years ago she came to live with me, my wife and two other children, based on the mutual consent of her mother and us. During the six year period my daughter has had regular visitation with her mother (alternate reasons weekends, school holidays, etc.). Her mother has paid no child support other than the costs she incurs when my daughter is with her, and for incidentals like occassional clothing purchases, due largely to a lack of funds. She has not held a full-time job at any time during the six years for health.
Her mother and I have never had a formal custody agreement filed in New York (where we both live), working out our arrangements via mutual consent a best we could. My daughter is now interested in moving back with her mother for a variety of personalreasons and I have two questions:

1. At 15, what rights does she have in determining who her custodial parent will be? Could I be compelled to let her go back to her mother?
2. If she were to return to her mother, would I be required to resume 17% child support payments or could I work with her mother on a mutually acceptable support amount that is less than the 17%? Could such an agreement be made binding in court even if it were below the 17%?

Any assistance would be appreciated.

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Question #38: My husband has 2 children from a previous marriage who is now 18 and 20 years old (We live in NY). About 10 years ago they went to child support and he was ordered to pay 25% of his gross amount of earnings. Since then he has been paying faithfully to his ex-wife and has never missed a payment (he pays directly to her-not through the court) Since then they never went back to court. We now have a young son age 6 yrs old and I attend school full time and do not work. My husband and I are having a hard time with bills, etc. He barely can take care of our 6 year old, because a big chunk goes to his ex-wife. He wants me to complete my degree and at the same time support his kids from his ex-wife and us. My question is...how long does he have to pay child support in New York. His ex-wife claims that she spoke to a lawyer and he said as long as her kids are still in college he has to pay, meaning that if his kids are 25...so on...he still has a responsibility. I don't think this is fair. New York State Law claims that at the age 18 you are an adult and at 21 you are legal to drink...which I assume that 21 is not child support...it should be called "ADULT SUPPORT". My question is what is the Legal Age? Is it true what the ex claims?


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Question #39: CHILD CUSTODY

I reside in the Province of Ontario, Canada. My daughter who is 20 years of age has recently left her boyfriend of approximately 3 years. The relationship produced a son now approximately 1 and 1/2 years of age. The initial break up was initiated by the boyfriend who sent her to Canada with a letter of authorization stating that she can take their son to Canada.

The question I have is: My daughter has decided that she does not want to return to an abusive relationship (the boyfriend has been verbally abusive for most of the time they have been together in front of various witnesses) and has decided that she is safer and has more family support both for herself and her son in Canada. She has no support whatsoever in New York and does not want to go back to the abusive relationship. The boyfriend has now decided he wants her back and has been harassing her constantly. What steps can my daughter take to obtain full custody of her son and does the boyfriend have any rights to "force" her to come back to New York and bring the baby back?

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Question #40: CHILD SUPPORT


I have a question concerning child support. I am currently 19 years old and I have been reviewing child support from my father (non-custodial parent). I live in New York State and I attend college full time. I have recently moved out of my mother’s house and reside in an apartment. Because the child support is in my mothers name I have to drive over to her house in order to receive the check. I was wondering how I would go about, or if it was possible, to have the checks come to my home address and in my name.

P.S. - if it helps, there is no dispute between my parents about the child support.

Thank You!

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Question #41: We were married and divorced in New York. I am the mother of 2 children whom I agreed would be better off due to financial reasons to stay with their father.

Their father and I agreed that child support did not need to be paid to him in exchange that I did not take 1/2 of his stock/pension/etc. that was given to me by the courts.

Now, 10 years later, my youngest is 21 years old.

What is the time frame that my ex could say he never received child support and then come after me for back support??

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Question #42: My husband has a child in Georgia. We currently live in NY. He has been paying child support for 4 yrs now. He has just lost his job and could no longer afford to pay his child support. Do I have to pay his child support? Can I be held responsible???

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Question #43: I am a stay at home mother of one 3 year old and expecting my second child in August. My husband wants a divorce (which I agree is for the best). However, since I left my career for our fist child to become a stay at home mom, I do not have any income and can’t afford an attorney. I was just going to start back to work when my child started pre-school this fall, but my husband convinced me to have another.My husband has said he plans to sell the house (there is no equity) and I will have to live with my mother until I can get financially stable on my own. I am scared that he will get custody of our child and the unborn one since I cannot afford a home, etc.We reside on Florida. Will he have to pay alimony (he says he wont- we don't have much money, only his income). Is there anything I can do to get custody of my children? If we get divorced before the birth of our next, what rights does he have to it?I cant afford to get legal advice and hope that you can help ease my mind and maybe direct me in the right way.I appreciate your help!

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Question #44: Nov 2006, I was granted a divorce by Nassau County in NY. I have 3 children and I am currently paying my ex-wife $2500 / month for maintenace and $2500.00/month in child support. In addition, I pay $5000.00/year towards extra-curricular activities for the children. My gross annual income before paying alimony and child support is $110,000. I have two questions, I would love to have answered.

1) Shortly after the divorce was finialized my ex-wife informed me that she was starting a county job after the New Year. (she was unemployed throughout our 15 year marriage). I don't know what her salary is at this new job, but I can estimate that she is making about $35,000 - $40,000/year. My question is, can I petition the courts to reduce the child support payment or the $5000 extra-curicular payment? How soon can I do this? Is there a wait period with the courts since the divorce was finalised 3 months ago?

2)My children's ages are 12(G), 9(B), and 6(B). My ex constantly complains that she doesn't want to 'waste' money on a babysitter. Recently on my ex's scheduled weekend, my daughter was participating in a dance competition in another state which my ex was attending. This was for two nights. I offered to take the two boys for the weekend, but my ex told me no since she had it under control and taken care of already. When questioned who would be watching the boys, she told me to "F" myself and that it was none of my business. I kept asking and she eventually hung up on me - never returning my calls. The next day she went off to the dance competition in another state - I drove past the house no my way home from work and no one was there. I called the house 5 times and left two voicemails, but no one answered and no one returned my calls. I then called my ex on her cell phone and left her a voicemail telling her that I wanted to know where the boys were. I explained that I just wanted to make sure they were ok. Long story short, I had to threaten her, telling her that I would call the cops since she was out of town and I couldn't find my two boys. She then called the boys and told the oldest (9 yrs) to call me. When I questioned her about the contact details that she gave to this person watching them, she told me that "Dan (9 yr old) knows how to contact you - your number is in the book". I never heard from my kids that night. I called their house early the next morning and my oldest son answered. My ex's boyfriend of 3 months was watching them for the weekend. When I asked my son what number he had for me, he confirmed it was a cell which I haven't owned in 4 years.
I am truly upset that (1) she went out of town without telling me who was watching the kids (2) that she didn't make sure that the person watching them had my contact details and vice cersa (what would happen if something went wrong with the kids and my ex is out of state???
I am very actice in their lives. I go to every (try to)sporting event, I have them every other weekend and every Tuesday. During the Christmas break I took time off from work and had them for the entire week. I was generous to my ex finiancially because I wanted to make sure the kids would be taken care of, when in fact my youngest comes with holes in his shoes. My concern is this summer. I am already paying a bunch to her and I am fearful that she won't get proper babysitters. What can I do? What are my rights?


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Question #45: I've been together for 12yrs and married for 8yrs with my wife. We have two children (6,10yrs). My wife wants the divorce and I've oppossed it because I'm trying to remediate the situation. She cheated 6 yrs ago and again on july 06 and Mar 06. the reason I still want her is because she will take my kids away and she will cause me to move out of the house and sell this house and another property. She earns 3x less than I. In other words she will take me to the poor house. I could not afford everything we now have or live on my own once we divorce. I will have to pay child support and spousal support and private school. I earn in the mid 60,000. Can I have an opportunity to gain sole custody of the kids since I've been a good father and want the family together for the kids sake?


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Question #46: I have been divorced for almost a year now. My ex-husband is an airline pilot, whose schedule varies each month. Our initial agreement that he signed was for $2300 in child support for our 3 children, with the understanding that he can see the children any day that he is home, but not less than the 90 days per year, as long as I work with his flexible schedule each month. This amount was not to change for any additional days. I purchased a home based on a budget with this child support payment each month. He then altered the agreement prior to the final divorce to allow 103 days per year shared custody (lowering the support by $550 per month), with no mention of the schedule that I had to work with. He now wants to have additional days/nights with the children, over the 103 days per year, based on the days that he is not flying. I have asked (and feel the children and I NEED) a set weekly/bi-weekly schedule for custody. I cannot continue to wait 2 weeks before each month to get the next month’s custody schedule. He can bid his schedule around specific days, but cannot guarantee that he will get those days each month. Is there any way I can ask the court to set a schedule that we all must follow, so that I can make plans, and have a normal life?



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Question #47: I live in NY. My divorce was finalized December 2003. I have custody of our 4 children. I remarried in May 2005. My ex-husband has had supervised visitation since our separation in June 2002 because he is alcohol dependent. He has not petitioned the court to have the supervision suspended, thus showing he continues to abuse alcohol. His girlfriend who is a police officer is the court authorized supervisor. Over the past few years my ex-husband has continually interferred with my parenting of the children. The older ones are teens and have been cutting school, drinking and experimenting with drugs over the last couple of years. I have used all resources available to help them, i.e. counseling, rehab, tutoring, grounding. My ex-husband continually undermines every form of discipline I have implemented. He tells the children that I am a psycho, replaces things I take away from them and constantly tells them I am not a good mother. He tells them that they do not need to go to counseling. He has reported me to ACS in 2003 making false accusations which were unfounded. And as of last week, I am under investigation again. My children have been conditioned by their father to call him immediately if I or my new husband reprimands them. Then my ex-husband dials 911 to say that children are being abused. After explaining to the police the situation, the complaint states that I (as the complainant) had a verbal dispute with my child. Ultimately my ex obtains a copy of this and tells my children that I called the police on them, stating "what kind of a mother calls the police on her kids?" This has been the cycle for almost 5 years. My children are at this point, so emotionally disturbed that I see no end to their behavioral problems unless their father either backs off completely or by a miracle sees how detrimental his vindictive behavior towards me is to them. Counselors have tried to persaude my ex to work with me on parenting the children, but my ex will not allow the children to be accountable for their behavior. What recourse do I have to make him stop so that my children will have a chance to succeed in life?


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Question #48: CHILD CUSTODY:I live in NY. My divorce was finalized December 2003. I have custody of our 4 children. I remarried in May 2005. My ex-husband has had supervised visitation since our separation in June 2002 because he is alcohol dependent. He has not petitioned the court to have the supervision suspended, thus showing he continues to abuse alcohol. His girlfriend who is a police officer is the court authorized supervisor. Over the past few years my ex-husband has continually interferred with my parenting of the children. The older ones are teens and have been cutting school, drinking and experimenting with drugs over the last couple of years. I have used all resources available to help them, i.e. counseling, rehab, tutoring, grounding. My ex-husband continually undermines every form of discipline I have implemented. He tells the children that I am a psycho, replaces things I take away from them and constantly tells them I am not a good mother. He tells them that they do not need to go to counseling. He has reported me to ACS in 2003 making false accusations which were unfounded. And as of last week, I am under investigation again. My children have been conditioned by their father to call him immediately if I or my new husband reprimands them. Then my ex-husband dials 911 to say that children are being abused. After explaining to the police the situation, the complaint states that I (as the complainant) had a verbal dispute with my child. Ultimately my ex obtains a copy of this and tells my children that I called the police on them, stating "what kind of a mother calls the police on her kids?" This has been the cycle for almost 5 years. My children are at this point, so emotionally disturbed that I see no end to their behavioral problems unless their father either backs off completely or by a miracle sees how detrimental his vindictive behavior towards me is to them. Counselors have tried to persaude my ex to work with me on parenting the children, but my ex will not allow the children to be accountable for their behavior. What recourse do I have to make him stop so that my children will have a chance to succeed in life?


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Question #49: This is my question. I had a discussion with my Daughter. She had two children and has married some one who is not the real Father. He has not adopted her children. My argument is! If she gets divorced does her husband have to support her children even though they are not his. I would appreciate a answer just to settle our disagreement. I say he doe's not.
Thank you for a reply.


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Question #50: CHILD CUSTODY-I am a 31 years old mother seeking advice how to obtain legal custody of my 8 years old son. My son and I live in NY. He has been living with me since birth. I don't really know how the system works in regards to choosing which parent should get custody of the child. I have been recieving child support since 2004 in the amount of $127 biweekly. That is all I've recieved from him since then nor have I asked him for anything more. Hardly ever he would buy things for my son. Once in a blue moon he would buy clothes for him but other than that, child support is all I recieved.

He and I have a verbal arrangement of taking my son every other weekend. Our arrangement is for him to pick him up on a Friday and bring him back on Sunday. However, when this Friday comes, it almost always turned out to an arguement because he always finds reason not be able to pick him up. Majority of the times, I get my son's weekend bag all packed ready for him to come pick him up but leave my son hanging. Most often, I ended up covering for him just not to disappoint my son. Because of this I have lost respect for him. Whenever we come to a discussion, I lose my temper and find my self using profanity. I am afraid that he might have recorded our conversations and use this against me to obtain legal custody of my son.

Just last week, I decided to go to family court looking for informations how to increase my child support. I came to find out that he has been making almost 70,000 a year for the past 3 years and all I've been recieving is $127 biweekly. So, on that day, I filed for an increase. I am saddened for this information I just received because all this time he's been making this much money, not once he spent a dime for his birthday since my son was 3 years old nor not once did he bothered attending any of his birthday party.

To make a long story short, he has filed for legal custody. He claimed that I am always busy and that I don't have that much time to spend with him as well as not providing him enough care. I admit, I am always busy. I am a single mother, a student, and also have a day job, but despite of all of this, I still manage to sit down with him at least 4 nights a week to do homeworks. My mother does the other night. I am not always there to pick him up from school but I take him every morning. I also manage to take him on vacations, something that his father never did.

What can I do as a mother to keep my son.




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Question #51: CHILD CUSTODY : I live in NY State and have a 15 year old daughter who lives with her mother. I was incarcerated for approximately 13 years; however, within those 13 years I was able to maintain a relationship with my daughter in which my mother (maternal grandmother) would bring her to me on visits. I am now out of prison and have established a strong bond with my 15 year old daughter. (My prison conviction was for robbery, but I am now a changed man).

This is the problem. My daughter has been able to visit me every other weekend and stays for the weekend. This has been going on since I was released from prison. I have a fiance, who has three daughters of her own, 16, 10 and 5 years old. My fiance has a great relationship with her children and shows them an abundance of love. My daughter felt comfortable enough to tell me and my fiance about the treatment and neglect she receives from her mother. She has also expressed a desire to live with me and my fiance, and has ran away from home more than once. She does not get along with her mother, and has threatened to run away if she is forced to continue living with her. (My ex is very verbally and emotionally abusive).

During a recent telephone call to my daughter, my ex informed me that my daughter has been acting up and she believes that her behavior is a result from being around me, my fiance and her kids. This is truly false! We show my daughter an abundance of love when she is with us, and my step children are great kids. My ex is just using any kind of excuse to stop visitation.

Father's Day is around the corner, and my ex is not allowing my daughter to visit with me anymore. She has absolutely no right to stop my visitation based on false pretenses. It appears that she is upset and jealous that my fiance maintains a special bond with her kids, and my ex just does not possess those motherly skills. Me and my ex were never married.

I am going to take her to court for visitation, and was wondering if I would be able to file for custody, considering the fact that my daughter is 15 years old and clearly expresses a desire to live with me.

Please help…what are my options!!??


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Question #52: If someone is paying child support from a previous relationship and they re-marry, what are the risks associated with the new spouse? In other words if the person responsible for paying the child support loses their job, will the new spouse have to pay it since they are legally re-married? Even though the kid is not theirs? If so, is this the same in every state? We live in NY.


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Question #53: In need of advise, I live in NY State left marital home1 year ago because of constant fighting and verbal abuse to each other,not a healthy environment for a child and was effecting her behavior. I thought I was doing the right thing by giving my daughter age10 a choice to decide for herself whether to stay or come with me when explaining that I was leaving. She decided to stay with father at that time because he never worked and I was the one working 2 jobs, therefore better relationship with father. I took her feelings into consideration when leaving, I was the the one always diciplining her and he let her run the show, I am stable and involved in new relationship and would like her to be with me,also trying to figure out a separation agreement but uncertain how to handle this because of her being with him, can I just take her and let him go for custody? How much damage did I do to myself by giving an 10yr old a choice? What would my chances be of getting physical custody if he was the one to play the mother role while I was out there playing his role?


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Question #54: I am a seperated dad living in New York and have been seperated for almost 1 year with a legal written seperation aggreement in place since March of 2007. I currently have liberal visitation with joint custody right now for my 2 children of 8 & 6, that has been agreed upon in a written seperation agreement. I have my children every other weekend at this time and see them regularly in the am each day before school. I would like to know being that there mother has residential custody and I have always been the income provider for the family, she now works from a home based business and contributes to no bills whatsoever with her income. Anyway, What are the procedure with regards to kids school breaks and me having to take the children , or split these school breaks with her and If I am also required to take the kids for 2 or more weeks per year for vacation time for her. What are the guidelines pertaining to these issues , if any? I in agreeance with the seperation agreement am paying all the bills in the home including all utilites, mortgage payments, insurance, etc....while she has no financial resposibilties, at all. She lives expense free till kids are of age. As well as paying for a new car and all its expenses. I currently am also giving her maintance monies for 1 year and child support that has been agreed upon. Thank you for taking the time to answer my question.


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Question #55: I have been married for one and a half years and together for two and a half. My husband recently sold his house in peekskill new york. He put down money on a new house located in Massachusetts. After he received the check for the house he sold he left and did not take my son or myself. I have no money and no place to go. I have put myself in a motel for a couple of days. I don't know what to do. Can you please tell me what i am entitled to. I really don't know what to do. This is a mentally abusive relationship with a man who is bi polar. If you may have any advice as to what I can do it will be greatly appreciated. Thank you



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Question #56: CHILD SUPPORT:I have been married for one and a half years and together for two and a half. My husband recently sold his house in peekskill new york. He put down money on a new house located in Massachusetts. After he received the check for the house he sold he left and did not take my son or myself. I have no money and no place to go. I have put myself in a motel for a couple of days. I don't know what to do. Can you please tell me what i am entitled to. I really don't know what to do. This is a mentally abusive relationship with a man who is bi polar. If you may have any advice as to what I can do it will be greatly appreciated. Thank you



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Question #57: My husband and I are about to be legally separated....what do I say to my 4 year old son? I have residential custody of my children and am moving out in 2 wks. HELP?



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Question #58: My fiancé and I have been together now for 3 years. He filed for divorce 5 years ago and even after 2 lawyers he has not been able to get anywhere in the case. His wife just refuses to settle, and keeps adding more and more claims for money, and still refuses to allow him visitation of their now 7-year-old daughter - unless it is by "her terms". She also has been constantly delaying conferences and production of receipts, etc. for the last 18 months. Finally last month the judge ordered that they had to come up with a settlement by the next conference (in 2 weeks), or it would go to trial in June. After all these years, we know that she will not agree to settle and so it will end up at trial in June. My question is two-fold. At the end of the trial, will the divorce be final (as we would like to get married asap)? And secondly, what is the chance that my fiance will have to bring a separate case to get proper visitation with his daughter, since the ex won't agree to anything, and the judge does not seem to want to even address the issue? Last year, after months of trying, the judge finally granted him one weekend every 6 weeks, 3 hours on Friday, 8 hours on Saturday and 8 hours on Sunday - no overnights, no taking taking her away from the city her mother lives in, and no visiting with anyone else. The poor girl has not seen her grandparents since she was a newborn, as the ex won't allow it. There has been NO reason for any restrictions, except that the ex is controlling and wants to make all the rules. I have 3 children, and my fiance is a wonderful father, and poses no risk to his daughter - I can't understand why a judge would not grant him fair visitation, yet so far he has not. As it is, just to spend these weekends with his daughter he has to travel from Missouri to Minnesota, as they have both moved since the divorce was filed back 5 years ago.



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Question #59:

Hi. I am hoping you can help me figure out what my best course of action should be.
My husband and I are married one year and its his second marriage. The courts granted his divorce in 2006 by the Nassau County Courts. We currently reside in Queens NY and his ex and children in Nassau County.. My husband earns 110K/year and I 100K/year. We dont have a mortgage, we live in a house (by ourselves) which his father owns.

Currently, my husband pays his ex-wife $2,500 /month in Maintenance and $2,500 /month in Child Support. In addition, he also pays 75% of children's medical, $3,000 towards daughter's dance and $3,000 towards extra-curricular activities. (three children, each receives $1,000/yr towards extra-curricular activities).

My husband's ex currently works and makes anywhere between $35K - 40K per year. Her maintenance is set to expire in 2010. My concerns are: I have heard that NYS law dictates that should the ex wife look to increase her cs payments, the courts COULD look at the 2nd wife's income as a means for deciding whether or not an increase is possible. Basically the courts could look at my salary, feel that my husband's life is enhanced by my pay and therefore, he can afford to contribute more money towards child support.

How can I keep my money separate so that the courts won't look at it for means of consideration? We spend a lot of time and additional money on the kids. I have no problem spending the money on them; however, I feel anything above and beyond should be at our discretion. In addition, while I love my husband and his kids, I need to make sure we have our own savings for our future. Currently we have no children together and I have no children of my own, but this may change and I need to know that financially we can afford it and not have to worry about fighting in the courts.

Please let me know what my options are. Is keeping a checking account in my own name sufficient? Do my tax returns come into play? Should we be filing seperately?

Thank you in advance for your help!


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Question #60: I have a question regarding child support when there is a joint custody arrangement in NYC. If both parents have joint physical custody and legal custody of the child and the child lives with each parent equally – 2 weeks with one parent and 2 weeks with the other parent, what kind of child support would be ordered by the court?


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Question #61:
I looked at your very informative website and thought I could ask a brief question.
"My wife (we are currently going through divorce proceedings) recently moved with my son out of New York State to Pennsylvania. Although I am living and working in England, my issue lies with the fact that she has not given me an address where they are living or who is living at the location?. Is this fair and reasonable for her to withhold the address and information?"
Thanks.


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Question #62: My husband is in an awful custody visitation situation. In February he received temporary custody of his son in our county Onieda county, because there was some issues at home and his son asked him to talk to mom about staying at our home. Mom is from Bronx county where the child resided at the time. When my husband tried to talk to her about the issues she said take him he is your son if he wants to live with you he can forget he has a mother and can never come back, she and her live in partner also told his son the same thing, so my husband brought him back home and filed a petition for custody stating what mother said and so he would be able to attend school. We had a court date March 21 set for custody and in between several calls from mom harassing and her family also then she changed he mind a week and a half before our court date up here and filed in supreme court habeas corpus that my husband was holding and concealing the child and refused to return him. The supreme court had my husband served for a court hearing to bring himself and return the child on March 18. The court and lawyers up here and her lawyer and the supreme court were disputing that we already had a court date here and my husband had an order of temporary custody. The judge in the supreme court in ny, ny said she didn't care and my husband was to attend her court date and to return the child he kidnapped according to her court clerk when we called. The Judge down in supreme court received all certified copies of custody order and papers from the court in our county.
They ( the court law guardian, husbands lawyer and his ex wife’s lawyer decided we could hold a court date over the phone between the two courts to come to an agreement. So March 17 they did the over the phone hearing and my husband’s lawyer and his sons law guardian told my husband his son said he changed his mind and they agreed upon him returning his son and said that he no longer needed to appear in NY, ny supreme court that since his son was returned it was settled and there was no court date. My husband was to go to our original court date in Onieda county for visitation which they could not settle on the 17th because the mother and her lawyer did not want to give my husband any visitation. when we showed up to court on the 21st my husband’s lawyer and his sons law guardian explained to the judge the circumstance and he only said he wasn't modifying original custody order to visitation, that he made the order for custody and asked for the judges number in NY,ny and reset a court date and told us we had to have her served for new court date.
When we returned home we had an order in the mail from supreme court that his son had a child advocate lawyer assigned by the judge in ny, ny in the matter of visitation and custody of his son and we were to call that lawyer when we received the order to see if he wanted to interview all or any members of the household, so confused we called. The order was dated March 16,2011 , the cover letter was dated March 18,2011 and the order at the end had for the parties and the counsel to appear in this court on March 18,2011 9:30 am and the post mark from the post office was dated March18,2011. So us being very confused we called as it said and the lawyer from the order said he had already spoke to Joshua in court on March 18,2011 that they still held the court proceeding.
We don't know what to do, we don't know if they can do that and no one seems to have any answers for us, not the courts here and the courts there said he will just have to wait to see what the papers say from there court when we receive them in the mail. Can my husband fight this since he did not get any chance to speak in court at all ,to dispute anything, say what he wanted or defend himself.


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Question #63: The relationship between me and my husband had been deteriorating following an attempt to recover from my husband’s affair with a girl that worked for one of his customer’s. There were also other issues and I considered him passive-aggressive and a stone waller / verbal abuser. I thought perhaps that almost losing his family would be enough for him to begin addressing these issues so that the family could be kept together. However, after three-years and seeing the passive control issues and verbally abusive behavior in terms of solving problems not diminishing, the relationship totally deteriorated. Now I have discovered a second affair with an administrative assistant in his office, and I filed for divorce last month. We are in mediation. Although he is agreeing to give me primary custody, he wants to take a new job in another state, about 15 hours away or more by car. He does not have to take this job. It would be a promotion, about 10K more and a company car and a chance for management experience. There are no relatives in this other state. This love interest is only, as far as I know, a three month or so relationship, and she will be moving in with him either in a house (to own) or an apartment (to rent). The 90-day period for a consent divorce will be over in June and my husband wants to take the children to live with him and this other woman for 8 weeks this summer, that visitation would begin only a week or so after the divorce is final. My husband and I are still sharing the same home, although we are barely conversational in regard to these big issues. I want to discuss these with him, but he doesn’t seem to even understand the nature of my concerns (which is not even conceivable to me). I don’t know this woman. He reveals nothing of his life. I have no idea what kind of life the children will lead in this other state and in this other home. I live in PA. It doesn’t seem to me to be in the best interests of the children to have to endure a divorce (husband and I still living together), their parents no longer living together, and a move, and a new woman(spouse figure) all at once, and being taken away from their mother, doctors, friends, relatives, church etc… for eight weeks as a “breaking in” period. My questions: I understand that the Court usually grants the non-custodial out of state parent a big block of time in the summer, but does it have to be an 8 week period of time? Couldn’t this be broken up – and at whose expense – mine? We are both tight for cash and the plane fare will be expensive. Also, it doesn’t seem right to get divorced and move in with someone new and “spring” this new partner on the children, who they now have to live with for 8 weeks, until they return back home for the school year. If I were to forego mediation and pursue this further through my lawyer, and let the courts decide visitation instead of trying to do it ourselves through mediation, what would the likely outcome be? Would it be likely that they would allow this 8 weeks unbroken visitation so quickly after a new divorce?


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Question #64: My question is this; My wife took my kids on vacation august of 08 and never came back. She registered the 4 kids in school and moved in with her parents. Then rented a house. She has a depression problem etc... and said she needed help with the kids. She has a large family that said they would help. We were in the middle of a separation when she did this. I was going to have her arrested for kidnapping but it would have been bad for the kids and i was talked out of it based on she mental condition.

I fly back and forth every other weekend for the past two and a half years to see my kids and its costing my a small fortune. She wont sign or agree to anything regarding a Divorce. How does the law look at this ? After a certain amount of time cant I go for some kind of automatic divorce based on abandonment ? its going to be three years this august .

Thanks


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Question #65:

I live in New York state and have been married for 5 years. the other day my husband just left with out telling me and now wont answer my calls. He was the one with a job I was a stay at home mom of two kids and now have no money to pay the rent. this has to be illegal right can he just leave us with no money or a place to live? I don't want a divorce or a separation, do I have to consent to a separation agreement? I tried to find NY state divorce and separation laws online but cant find the answers? Isn't abandonment illegal? what can I do I don't know where my husband is or why he is doing this or my rights? thanks

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Question #66:
Hi,

My daughter is married and has 2 children, ages 4 and 7. She and her husband are separated, they lived in NY and when they separated, the father moved back to Maryland where his family is. He left the marital residence.

My daughter has been very flexible on visitation, lettting him come up and stay in her apartment to visit the children, bringing them down to Maryland
1/2 way so the father doesn't have to do the whole ride. The thing is, in her separation agreement, does she have to agree to make the drive for visitation, or is this his responsibility to figure out how to visit his children? He has not been cooperative and the more she does to facilitate visitation, the more he asks for. He has stated that he does not care about the children's weekend, activities and does not want to participate in them (they have missed Soccer games and Church because he will not take them).

I just want to ensure that she protects herself in the separation agreement. Thanks....



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Question #67: In New York State, can a parent be forced by the courts to pay for a child's private high school education? The parents have joint custody, 50% each. Both parents can afford to pay, although one refuses.


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Question #68: I currently pay child support for my twins daughters, and have faithfully for 15 years. My one daughter has decided to move in with me (she is 18.5 years old). Is there a form I need her to sign, stating she is leaving with me, so I don't have to continue paying her portion of the support?


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Question #69: My husband and I have been separated for 10 months now and are just starting a legal process. He agreed to let me take my daughter to CA to live and go to private school where my family resides and now is saying that he will only allow it if I give up child support. He has told her she can go and now is setting restrictions. He wants me to "pay" for our freedom. what rights does she have in making the decision where she wants to live?


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Question #70: My husband of 22 years has asked for a divorce. We have a 13 year old daughter. He does not want to go through lawyers because he thinks it will cost too much. I don't think I can afford not to have a lawyer.

He is a corporate pilot for an international insurance company. He has been cheating for the last 10 years with flight attendants, hookers and women he picks up in bars while away. He stays in touch with them on a regular basis through text and email and has bought gifts, flown them places and given them money when asked for. I found this out about 2 years ago, but tried to work it out. I work, but he is the breadwinner in the family making about 110k more than me. This ye It may seem like a lot, but it doesn't go very far in Hudson County when you consider rent. I was the bread winner for about the first 10 years of our relationship and marriage. I put my career on hold for 5 years to stay home with my daughter when she turned 2. I went back to work when she was 6 weeks old. I am a freelancer in the fashion industry. After coming back full time 5 1/2 years ago, I've had to work my way back up in the industry. It's still a work in progress.

He is normally flying to Europe and Asia for a week to 3 weeks at a time. He thinks we should have joint physical custody. I think I should have primary physical custody and he can have generous visitation. His schedule is very erratic. Sometimes he works for a month straight with a couple of days off, sometimes he is off for 2-3 weeks. Is it possible that he will be granted joint physical custody? I'd like to mediate, but this is a sticking point for me. Also, as the spouse making less money, I cannot afford to pay for a 2 bedroom apt. based on my salary and 1/2 child support alone. I will need alimony as well. What can I expect in this situation?


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Question #71: We live in Suffolk County NY, I am a single Mom of a 17.5 year old daughter that is going away to college in Maryland. She was hospitalized for an eating disorder last year for 6 months and still needs supervision on her food intake and meds. So I am willing to move with her since I have some family there.

My stip says that if I relocate outside of NY, without written permission from her Dad or the State supreme court approval that I will relinquish my parental right and she will live with her Dad. ( I am assuming child support would also be stopped)

I have spoken to several people who have told me since her dad has made no effort to see her since she was hospitalized nor does my daughter want to spend weekends / time with him and that she will be 18, that the above statement won’t affect us.

Would child support stop if we were to move since she is going away to college?
My Ex tells her I CANT MOVE!!

Please let me know if I have to take this to court.

Thank you.


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Question #72: Hey,

Me and my wife has agreed to get a divorce 3 months ago. We have two small children ages 2 and 5. We are currently still living together. I found out about a month ago that she is secretly dating someone from her past that is in listed in the army, that will be home soon from deployment.

We live in New York and He lives in Florida, but he is in the army so I assume he moves a lot.

I suspect that as soon as he is back that she is planning to take the kids and move in with him. She is not aware that I know about the relationship and promises me that she won't take the children away from me. I don't really believe her because she has been talking about Florida a lot lately.

She tells me that she wants this to be amicable witch I'm willing to do 100% but what do I do if she takes the kids and leave before we even got to start the divorce or any sort of agreement?

I don't care about any of the material things and she can have it all, All I care about is to be with my children and be a great farther for them.

Also seeing that he is in the army will it be in the kids best interest to be moving every two years. All their family live in New York.



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Question #73: Hi,
I recently have relocated from Lexington Kentucky to West Harrison New York due to my husband's job. My husband is verbally abusive and I see how this is affecting our three daughters. We've only been in New York for two months and my question is if I wanted to move back to Lexington with my children do I have that right or is there some type of legal procedure I need to go to through or to get his consent?


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Question #74: Hi,
I recently have relocated from Lexington Kentucky to West Harrison New York due to my husband's job. My husband is verbally abusive and I see how this is affecting our three daughters. We've only been in New York for two months and my question is if I wanted to move back to Lexington with my children do I have that right or is there some type of legal procedure I need to go to through or to get his consent?


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