Primarily servicing the greater New York City metropolitan area



LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.
DIVORCE SOLUTIONS
206 East 38th Street
New York, N.Y. 10016
(212) 370-1660

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GET A DIVORCE - JURISDICTION, GROUNDS

Question #1: I am a resident of NY and after 19 years the end of the marriage is at hand. In order to divorce do you have to be legally separated or can you just enter into a divorce if you meet the guidelines set by the state, i.e. no intimate relations for 1 year, living apart for 1 year etc. On the question of alimony, how is that determined if both spouses have always worked? Insofar as the house is concerned, neither of us can afford the house without the other so then comes division of property. How does that work? Children are 16 & 11 respectively and I assume will live with their mother. No battle on custody just visitation rights. How is that determined. Please advise. Thank you

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Question #2: My brother and his wife have been married for 10 yrs and reside in NY. Thru marriage he became US citizen. But now she is acting up. She has found somebody else. My brother put her thru school. But she doesn't work in that profession. She spend a lot of money. One time he took up 2 jobs to meet the ends. They don't have any sexual relations for years. She is verbally & physically abusive. She stays in the house like a motel. She comes and goes however she wants. They do own a house together. Now my brother have told her that he doesn't want to live with her. But she doesn't want to move out. How can he file for divorce? If she refuses to sign for divorce how can he get a divorce? Is there an option for it? How do they settle on the house. Though they have signed together she hasn't paid a single penny in that house. Wd she be liable to pay the mortgage. If he needs to sell the house how can he settle on it. How can he prove her adultery? Can we hire private investigator for that. Wd that be legal in the sight of law. How does this divorce work in the state of NY?

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Question #3: I am planning to ask my husband for a separation, but I don't know what that means legally. What kind of property I hold on to is not my main concern - I want it to be a civilized parting.

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Question #4: My husband and I live in California. He filed for divorce about eight months ago and now we have reconciled and he is moving back into our home. The divorce wasn't finalized, no financial documents were ever filed. Do we need to do anything to stop the proceedings? If so, what.Thank you

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Question #5: My friend has been married for less than two years and has a three year old daughter. He moved out of his house over six months ago, but has not been able to afford a divorce yet. He and his wife have been planning to legally separate, and then convert to a divorce after the allotted amount of time, but he's getting anxious about it and would like to get it over with already. We are curious as to the formal definition of "adultery" and what implications it admitting to adultery might have for his future alimony. Also, since his wife works (although she makes less than he does), will he have to pay alimony at all? We live in NY state.

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Question #6: We married in Washington DC 15 years ago and now live in France. We have three kids. We have been living separately for about a year. Neither of us feel a rush to get a divorce but it seems inevitable and it would probably help now to clear up the legal issues surrounding this and also the associated unresolved (or "unformalized') financial and parenting issues. Where should we start? Neither of us are keen to start this in France. So where should we get divorced...what are the implications, and can we get a lawyer to help prepare the way by drawing some kind of separation agreement?

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Question #7: One party wants to divorce and the other does not,is there a way to get a divorce other than by default?

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Question #8: If a couple wishes to have a post-nuptial agreement in New York State "acknowledged", which agency does the acknowledging?

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Question #9: Which counties do you practice in? What are your costs?

Our marriage has been strained for a year or two now.

I just found out, in a recent trip to Virginia where we have a joint bank account and safety deposit box, that in December of 1996, my wife opened the safety deposit box, took all the contents in the box, and then closed the box account. All without my knowledge, consent, or notice.

In the box, there were lots of gold jewelry, gold coins, cash, redeemable bonds, deeds to lands and the deed to our townhouse, several gold rings and necklaces. All of these items were either given to me, or bought by me as she has never held a job.

What should I do at this point? Could a lawsuit be filed in the above?

Please advise. Thank you.


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Question #10: What if 2 people were married in the Caribbean (both born there), but live in New York, reside there now, and before the marriage took place- What laws do they have to follow for divorce?

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Question #11: Is there any state that offers a quick divorce with a little residence requirement. The problem is that some how our final divorce papers weren't filed, and we both are seeing someone else. We would like to get a divorce out of state as not to affect our current interests. Any suggestions.

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Question #12: I was married in the state of NY 10 years ago, after 3 years of marriage and 1 child, my husband a I amicably filed for a legal separation.
my question: is it true. that after 7 year following the legal separation you are automatically considered divorced ?


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Question #13: My brother has lived with his companion for the past three years. They have a 2 years old baby. He is planning to separate from this person, but he does not know how what are the procedures to following and where he can go to get advise about the law (child support and alimony). They are not married, yet he wants to take responsibility for his duties and what the law of NYC states. I appreciate any advice on this matter. Thank you!

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Question #14: A) The husband lives overseas. B) The wife is in NYC for two months. Then she will move overseas. C) They were originally married in New York State. D) They currently want a divorce. Query: Is it true that no divorce can be completed until either the husband or wife has lived in (residency) America for at least one year? Also, they can not even get a legal separation unless one of them is living in the States? And even legal name changes are expensive and troublesome, without one year's residency? Is all this true? If so, how can one move on with their life, if their new life takes them overseas and being overseas means no divorce can be settled?

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Question #15: My husband and I were married in February 1994 in Tennessee. We went our separate ways in that same year but neither one of us started the divorce proceedings. It is now 4 years later and I have resided in New York for over 2 years and he in California. We have not spoken or seen each other since 1995. I don't know where to get the ball rolling to start the divorce proceedings. I just want this to be over. Any information you could provide me would be very helpful and appreciated.

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Question #16: My wife and I were married in 1975 in Denver. We have lived in Phoenix, Spain, Israel, Texas, Louisiana and Utah. My wife left me in August 1996 and has since resided in upstate New York. I moved to Turkey in April 1997 where I work for an American Company. My wife has asked for a divorce because she has met a guy on the internet whom she loves. If she files for a divorce in New York, can I be served, as long as I remain in Turkey? Do I have to be served? Can she get a divorce as long as I remain overseas? Can you help us...we want to make it non-adversarial if possible.

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Question #17: If my spouse has filed for divorce in California and I want to file myself can I? Can I file in another state?

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Question #18: I live in Portland, OR, and I want to know where I can get annulment papers, including directions. I have only been married four months, but he has become violent. I was hit once, and filed a restraining order. Please tell me where I may get the forms/instructions that I need.

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Question #19: I am an American citizen married in Australia to an Australian citizen. Now that I am back in Florida, can I file for divorce here or do I have to go through the Australian courts?

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Question #20: Currently am involved in an upcoming divorce proceeding where the wife may claim adultery. I have reviewed your other messages and see that some sort of proof is required. What is/could be considered proof? I live in the state of Georgia. She has also contacted the husband of the person that I supposedly had this affair with and I am trying to control the damage to many innocent people. I have scheduled a meeting with counsel but this is getting out-of-hand rapidly and any basic information would be appreciated. Thank You

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Question #21: Up until March of this year, I lived in VA. I moved to NY in the middle of March, and was married at the end of March to a NY resident. We were married in Nevada. 1. Although I haven't met the residency requirement, is it possible for a separation agreement to be drawn and executed in NY? And can the divorce papers then be filed one year after the date of separation? 2. Can the separation agreement and divorce be carried out in the state that we were married (Nevada)?

Also, she has a 2 year old child from a previous relationship. What would be my responsibilities toward this child? Would support be required on my part? (She supports the child on her own, and does not receive support, nor has filed for support, from the child's father, which does see the child a few times a month). Also, could I receive visitation/partial custody rights?


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Question #22: I live in PA with my wife of 12 years and our 10 year old daughter. I came to US 7 years ago, brought them on my work visa 6 years ago. My employer offered to sponsor my permanent residency. My wife is a very difficult person and has been in therapy for the last 3 years. It's becoming unbearable for me and I want out: the little she does for family is under pressure from me, and I have to juggle work (she finished her RN a year ago, but doesn't have work permit) and practically all family issues,, from my daughter's Halloween costume to finding my wife a gynecologist. Who would have jurisdiction over this divorce, given that we're not permanent residents?

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Question #23: Are Mexican Divorces legal in the U.S. ?

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Question #24: What is a determining factor for filing for a divorce or obtaining a dissolution? I don't really want to thru lawyers and courts. My husband committed adultery and fathered a child. He stays out late at night and isn't supportive emotionally. All I want is to be out of the marriage and for him to support our daughter.

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Question #25: Thank you for providing this wonderful service. I've been searching for somewhere/someone to address my concerns, which I'll begin to outline as follows:

Briefly about myself, I live in Boston, Massachusetts and I've been dating a really nice gentleman since November 1994 we were setup by mutual family friends). He returned home from the US Army that January after serving for eight years. He started school at the University of U Mass-Boston and is scheduled to graduate this May 1998. Sadly, I learned upon our second or third date, back in November 1994, that he was also married. To make a long story short, I'll summarize his relationship with his wife, to date, as follows:

- He met his wife in her home town of Tuscan, Arizona around September 1990; he lived on base and they dated casually - She became pregnant upon insisting that he 'come' inside of her on her birthday - May 1991 - Although he was not happy about this unplanned pregnancy, he decided he would commit to a relationship with her, after the baby was born (in February 1992) - They got married in September 1992, and he got shipped off to Korea where was stationed for a one year, from December 1992 to December 1993 - Before he left for Korea, he set up a joint bank account; primarily for her to have fund for expenses (she's didn't work and took care of herself before they met, and still today, with state assistance she receives for adopting one of her sisters child (who is about 12 years old now). - About six months after he left for Korea she called to ask for extra money to move to a new apartment, which he sent to her - BUT SHE NEVER WROTE OR CALLED TO LET HIM KNOW WHERE HER NEW RESIDENCE WAS, and he tried his best to find out and then gave up - He lost his hair (he's now bald at the top) over the next next months. Upon returning to Arizona from Korea, he found out that she had been seeing someone (he has letters to prove this) and she strongly stated that she didn't want to be with him anymore. By the way, he found her through a relative he had to look up and find. - So, in January 1994 he returned to Boston to avoid committing any criminal acts by staying with her, if you know what I mean; started school that September, and we met in November. He told me he didn't want to go through the divorce process while in school because he didn't want anything to get in the way of finishing school. He thought that he would be forced to work full-time in order to support his daughter. - So, unsure of what the court findings would be we agreed to wait until now (his final semester). We sent his wife the money she asked for to initiate the process ($150) in January 1998 and she kept making excuses about not having the time to do it because she started to work just before the holidays (for the first time in her life!). But it's not almost the middle of March and she still hasn't' done it. You might ask, what's the rush?

Well, we've been dating now for almost four years and want to commit to a lifelong relationship together by getting married in September (our preferred months). By judging by his wife's behavior this might not happen. My questions are as follows:

Is there any way he could file here (and get it settled as soon as possible) from Massachusetts, but utilizing Arizona's state divorce laws? Simply because MA laws are so extreme in so far as child support, etc. I really don't trust her to do it and they only other way is for him to expense himself by traveling to Arizona to do it himself, if that's possible. She said that she would agree to joint custody (with the kid(s) visiting in the summer) and to no alimony. Would that make it even easier to apply here in MA. Also, would the judge take into consideration that they virtually NEVER lived together as husband and wife? Would they consider her present income as well? She's never let him claim his daughter on income taxes (even though he sends her $150/mo. faithfully.) By-the-way, he's worked part-time throughout his school years and is now working full-time and attending school at night during his final semester. What do you think about all of this? Is there any hope for a September wedding for us? Thank you in advance for your kind advice.


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Question #26: My husband and I are New York City residents. We have decided to separate then divorce as soon as we have met the legal one year requirement. Between us, we have already reached agreement on custody of our 9 year old son, child support, and the distribution of our belongings (contents of our home). We have no major assets to divide. We would like to pursue a mediated divorce, but are concerned about the cost. This is the only thing holding us back at this point. At present, we would be unable to afford even standard adversarial legal services.

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Question #27: After knowing each other 3 weeks my boyfriend and me got married at city hall in NYC on a holiday last September. We are both German and live in Germany. so it turned out to be a mistake. I heard that if we get divorced in NYC only one person has to show up and it is rather uncomplicated. is this true? how would a divorce work the easiest way for us? In Germany it is a big deal. thank you very much!

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Question #28: Can a military service member file for an annulment outside of his state of residency and state of marriage for his spouse and himself when they are both consenting to file? What is the process outside of military channels? And are there online services available for this situation?

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Question #29: My wife committed adultery in MD. I have heard that this is a basis for getting an immediate divorce--within 30 days. Also that the property settlement (settlement agreement?) is a separate issue. My question is, can I get a divorce before a property settlement agreement is reached?

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Question #30: What is the legal procedure re: divorce in New York? Does the State require that couples go for counseling first or during the "legal" separation?

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Question #31: My fiancée and I are trying to get his divorce taken care of. There are a few difficulties. We are in Alaska and she is in Colorado. We need to find someone who can help us, but who will not charge an outrageous amount of money. We would like someone who will take a lump sum down and then take monthly payments. He is in the Military if that makes any difference. We really need this done quickly. Please help

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Question #32: My husband and I have only been married months, but both agree it was a mistake. We have no children, property, assets, etc. in common. What's the best way to approach an uncontested divorce in NYC? We reside in Queens.

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Question #33: I am divorcing my wife for the second time. I had an affair with her best friend after my wife wouldn't touch me for 8 months. In our first marriage, my wife would refuse to have sex with me for long periods of time. The longest I ever went was 14 months. I told her as we were preparing for our second marriage that I couldn't live like that, and she promised never to hold out on me. Well 1 1/2 years into our marriage I had gone for 8 months when her best friend approached me. I know what I did was wrong, and I've never done it before or since. My question is, now that she knows, and we are getting a divorce, do I have any rights?

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Question #34: I am currently going through divorce proceedings and am a Canadian citizen and my husband is American, could you possibly let me know what my rights are as far as my five children are concerned.

I would greatly appreciate any information you could provide.


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Question #35: I would like to know the grounds for divorce in NY state. I am looking to get divorced but my wife states that irreconcilable differences is not grounds for divorce in NY. She and I have been separated for 6 weeks now.

I want a divorce but not on the grounds of abandonment or adultery. Since I have not committed either one. she tells me these are the only two we can file divorce under


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Question #36: How do I begin a divorce and protect my assets?

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Question #37: What does it take for N.Y.S. to have jurisdiction over my divorce?

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Question #38: Can one choose any state in which to file for divorce?

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Question #39: I am in dire need of a divorce; my husband is presently serving six months in jail for his fourth DWI conviction. I have two children ages six and four and would like full custody of my children in order to move out of New York State. Could you help me?

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Question #40: Does there still need to be a one-year separation, as required in my state (MD)?

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Question #41: I'm a 23 year old mother of 2 children and I have been married for 5 years now, Going on 6 in November. My question is ... What are the steps involved with filing a divorce or even a separation?

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Question #42: Hello. I was hoping you could help. My husband and I married in 1997. We both moved out of our marital home in May 2000. I moved into an apartment and he subsequently moved down the hall from me-despite my feelings/reservations. Unfortunately, we didn't know that we had to file with New York State in order to obtain a separation (to proceed to divorce). We both have separate apartments, but during our separation, he quit his job and had no income. I basically paid his bills (his mom paid his rent), and I still cover him under my insurance. (Incidentally, we have not been intimate since 1999 due to his sexual preference. He wanted to renew a male relationship because he missed that part of his life-unknown to me).What is our recourse for divorce? Neither of us want to have to go through the one year separation period-we've already done this. We have both agreed that divorce is the best option, but unfortunately neither of us has a lot of money. There are no children and/or property. We both have our own 401(K) plans, our own insurance (he is still covered by mine until we legally separate). How long should it take to obtain a divorce? I would just like this nightmare over. I would sincerely appreciate your advice/help.

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Question #43: Can some someone get a divorce in Florida if they got married in Nevada? I would appreciate if you could let me know. Thank you.

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Question #44: I am a 42 year old woman with four children. I have been married for 21 years. Recently my husband has spoken of divorce. I want to know if he would need grounds? What are those grounds and could I contest them? If I contest them could he still get a divorce? He just recently took a job making 1/5 the amount of money he used to. Would my alimony be based on the amount he now makes, or would it be averaged over the years? Thanks for your help!

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Question #45: I got married on the 14th of February year 2000 in New York City to a Singaporean citizen. I carry an Indian passport but am on an H1 visa and am working in a prestigious non-profit institution in Manhattan. My husband and I agreed for me to move to Singapore since he felt that life there would be easier since he has established himself quite comfortably there. He also felt that raising a family would be easier what with the presence of the extended family, domestic help and the leisurely life in Singapore. I moved to Singapore in August 2000 only to be told by him that he had changed his mind about raising a family. Since he had two children already from his first marriage, is 53 years old, he is unwilling to be a father again and pursue that kind of lifestyle. Thinking -hoping that he was just having cold feet, we went for counseling and it was revealed that he vehemently does not want to be a father again. I begged him to change his mind because I have always wanted and want so much to be a mother and raise even one child. I had given up my life, friends and contacts in NYC to pursue family life with him. Plus I am 41 years old with my biological clock ticking like a time bomb!!!! As if the child issue was not enough to bear, he had treated me as if I was merely his companion/date rather than his wife. Being his second marriage, he has told me that his priorities are towards his problematic 24 year old son who lived with him, his own health, and that in fact, his money is his to do as he pleased. Thus, he gave me an allowance which I had to live within despite me being less affording and jobless and him having promised that he would take care of me and treat me like a queen, etc. Given the unfair conditions of this marriage, the feudalistic chauvinism that I was being subjected to, and the heartbreak, I have come back to NYC. We have agreed to live separately to get some clarity. I would like to know what can I hope as settlement in the event of a divorce? How will mediation help? Since I am of a very limited income, can I even afford to mediate, litigate? Does my immigration status affect what I can do? There are oceans between us (metaphorically, too), how can I go about securing a lifestyle that will not further humiliate me? Can broken promises be a basis for divorce? Your attention and help in this matter is greatly appreciated. Please forgive the panic and lack of cohesion of this missive. I am distressed and very sad about all this.

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Question #46: I was married in New Jersey, live and been married for 21 years now and things are bad. I had an affair a few weeks ago and my wife found out. She has threatened to kick me out, change the locks and take everything. She told me she would file based on adultery and take everything we own and leave me with nothing. Can she do this? I am trying to work things out with her, and we have resumed sexual relations. Can she still get a divorce based on adultery and take everything? Thank you for your help. Confused in New York

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Question #47: Resident of NY state. We were married here and lived here. We separated 2 months ago, she wanted to be on her own for a while. We had a separation agreement drawn up and signed. I kept 2 of our 3 children, she was allowed to move out of state with our son. No support on either side, I kept house. She now knows she can't live without the other children and is returning to the area. Her boyfriend whom she left me for, now has a job offer in this area. She has stated if he comes here she would resume her relationship with him. She wants to stay married, but if he takes the job I would like a divorce based on adultery. She has been living in the same apartment with this man in South Dakota. What proof do I need for adultery? If she doesn't contest to adultery, how quickly would the marriage be dissolved? She believes that since we are separated that she can legally have relations with someone else, and that it would not constitute adultery? I believe she is definitely wrong, so who is right?

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Question #48: We live in California. My wife has filed for divorce, but has not served me with them yet. Her reason is because of other things going on in our lives right now, (a daughters marriage) we don't have the time or energy to work out a financial agreement before the 30 day response time is up.1- How long can she hold the papers before serving me?2- I do have 30 days to respond, once I am served, but does a financial agreement and children's custodial agreement have to be completed and agreed upon in those 30 days too? Or do they just have to be completed and filed before the final papers are signed? Thanks for your time.

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Question #49: How do you prove cruel and inhuman treatment? If it is possible, then do you have to wait a year for the final divorce or can it be done relatively quickly? Also, if there is no property, no children and no joint bank account, how can there be a legal separation agreement? Thank you

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Question #50: My friends wife left him a year ago after 25 years of marriage.There was no other party involved, the children of the marriage are grown and living away from home.He has decided that if she files for divorce or legal separation, he will contest it on the grounds that he was the injured party (by being abandoned) He is sure that if he contests the divorce on those grounds then his wife's application will be denied. Is he correct in his assumption??

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Question #51: Dear Sir: I have gone through many of your question and answer sessions and very much satisfied that you are the only person who can render me proper guidance. Sir, I have married an Indian born USA citizen resident of New York in the year 2001 feb. After the marriage I applied for the Green Card and now I am a Green Card holder. Now due to some difference of opinions I want to get separated. Please suggest me some dignified grounds on which the divorce can take place without any mutual humiliation. I would request you to let me know after separation or divorce, will I be entitled to be a Green Card holder or not. Thanking you

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Question #52: MY EX-HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN SEPERATED FOR 7 MONTHS NOW. GOT MARRIED ON DEC OF 1999. I SUPPORTED "US" FOR A YEAR AND A HALF WHILE HE CLAIMED TO BE LOOKING FOR A JOB. MY EX-HUSBAND HAD JOBS FOR APPROX 6 MONTHS ALTOGETHER. NO KIDS, NO JOINT PROPERTY OR FINANCES. UNFORTUNATELY, WE ARE NOT LEGALLY SEPARATED BY THE COURT. HE AND I WISHES TO DIVORCE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. BUT MY RESEARCH TELLS ME THAT HE AND I HAVE TO BE LEGALLY SEPARATED FOR A YEAR IN ORDER FOR A DIVORCE. OUR SITUATION DOES NOT INCLUDE ANY OF THE SIX GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE. IT'S INCOMPATIBILITY, HOWEVER NEW YORK STATE DOES NOT RECOGNIZE THAT. I NEED SOME MORE INFORMATION AND THE BEST WAY TO GET A DIVORCE ASAP. MY EX AND I HAVE AGREED ON THE DIVORCE AND WISHES TO EXPEDITE IT. IT WILL BE AN UNCONTESTED DIVORCE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND PATIENCE. I HOPE I WILL BE HEARING FROM YOU SOON.

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Question #53: I have been living with a friend for the last year since my husband left me two years ago. I work off the books since I really don't have too many skills. I pay my friend in cash and most times she gives me a receipt. I am interested in getting a uncontested divorce. There are no children or property assets. He also agreed since he wants to marry his new girlfriend. What can I use to show N. Y. residency since I don't drive and I don't use credit cards. Please advise.

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Question #54: I have been legally separated from my wife since July of 2001. She filed for it. We lived in Indiana, but I have moved and now live in New York. I need to file for a divorce but do not know where, NY or IN. We have a 6 year old son.

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Question #55: My wife left me 1˝ years ago and went to live with her mother where she still is today. She has been asking for a legal separation for most of that time, and I have refused. I held hope that if we were casually separated we might resolve whatever differences we had and get back together without going through the courts. We have been married for 28 years (in NY State), but the last 3 years before she left were strained. She held out sex for almost 2 years and communications between us was breaking down during those years. She retained the services of a lawyer shortly after she left, and that lawyer asked me to respond to her request for the separation. I refused because I felt entitled to know her grounds, but none were ever given. Now after 1-˝ years, her lawyer sent a letter with my wife's "grounds" for separation. The list contains fabrications, exaggerations, and lies that I am convinced her lawyer talked her into. I've had enough, and now I want a divorce. Can I file on the grounds of abandonment? Can I prevent her from filing these lies in a court record by forcing her to prove her statements? Finally, is there any way I can have her lawyer reprimanded for promoting these serious allegations about my character?

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Question #56: My husband just served me with a UD-4 form or summons for divorce. He had some one else delivered it. We are getting divorced by mutual agreement. Child support, custody, visitation have been discussed. We were married for 22 years, but he abandoned me 15 years ago. Now, I want to know if I have to appear in court within the first 20 days of receiving this form? What does DRL Section 170 subd. mean? I want to keep his last name because all my paper are under his last name. What do I have to do to keep it? Will I be entitled for alimony money? In the summons, he claimed abandonment of the Plaintiff by the Defendant, What does this mean? How can it affect me? It was not discussed in the agreement.

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Question #57: I was married in December of 1997. In March of 1999 my wife told me that she did not want to be married any more, I agreed and moved out. In November of 1999 she moved to Florida and lived there until July of 2001. Do I have grounds for a divorce under abandonment or separation? P.S. We have a 4 year old son. Will this affect my ability to get a divorce?

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Question #58: Hi-My wife and I want an uncontested divorce. We want it to be fast and easy and not have to go to court. What grounds is best to use? She abandoned me over a year ago, but there was also cruel & inhuman treatment involved. We're each willing to sign off on either or both grounds. Should we use both? Would that help the divorce go through? Or do the courts want you to pick only one - and if so, which one is better? Thanks & great website.

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Question #59: When a New York resident wants to file for a divorce from a marriage that took place in Ontario, Canada (where the husband still lives), what are the proper steps to take?

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Question #60:

My husband and I have been married almost 23 years. During the course of our marriage, he has had 2 affairs. Both times he moved out after putting me through a lot of verbal abuse. Both times, I took him back. The last affair, that I know about, was 9 or 10 years ago.


This past year I went through an emotional roller-coaster. My brother was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. He and his family lived 3 1/2 hours from me and I spent most of the year traveling back and forth to spend time with him. Not to mention, I had to be the strong one for my parents, my 2 kids and my brother's wife and 3 small children. My husband gave me no emotional support, although I begged him too. In fact, at times, he seemed to try to make things more difficult. After 10 months , my brother died in November. I still was expected to stand strong for everyone else, which left me no time to grieve. Again, my husband was no help emotionally. Everything came to a head in late March of this year.I told my husband that I loved him but I wasn't sure that I was still "in love" with him and that I might want out of the marriage.I told him,that at the very least, I needed time for myself to regroup and find myself after losing my brother, who was a major part of who I am.


My husband moved out a few days later. He never gave me his address or phone number, although I could reach him at work.He continued to pay the bills but he closed out our joint bank account 2 weeks ago.On July 3, I was served with divorce papers. He is charging me with "cruel and inhuman treatment".


I am employed through the school district but I didn't apply to work summer school because he had asked me not too so I'd be available to go on vacation. Of course, this was before he left. Now it's too late to work summer school, so I have no income at all.He knows that I cannot afford a lawyer to defend myself.


I have several questions. First,if I can convince him to do so, is it too late to change the grounds of divorce?If it is, how would these grounds affect the outcome? I only earn about $8,000 a year compared to his $50,000 a year.My second question is, since I just received the summons, is it too late if he agrees to it, to drop the divorce action and get a legal seperation instead? My third question is, if he wants this so badly, can I legally have him pay for my lawyer? Isn't it required that I have the right to representation?


We live in Upstate NY and we have 2 children. Our son is almost 21 but our daughter is only 17 and soon to be a senior in high school.


I'm scared and desperate here. I only have 20 days to respond to this summons and as I said, I have no money to retain a lawyer.I hope that you can help me with some answers to my questions.




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Question #61:

I've been on my own from wife for over 2 years living in New Jersey. She lives in NYC. We were married in NYC. Now that I ready to move on, should I get divorce in New Jersey or New York?




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Question #62:

My friend's husband has filed for divorce on the grounds of cruel and inhuman treatment. He is going to have the summons delivered within the next day.


The fact of the matter is that he is a homosexual and has never had sexual relations to me. She did not learn of his sexual preference until recently. She was trying to make the marriage work since it was arranged. He even kicked her out of the house and cut off all her money. We believe he is doing this so he won't have to give her much money since he makes a very good living.


How long does she have after the summons is delivered? If she avoids the summons can he declare a divorce publicly and it be in effect? She is in New York Metro Area. Please Help.







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Question #63:

I am a New York City resident. I was married in March of 2001. My husband traveled back to Brazil (He is Brazilian) post September 11th. He went through a period of some emotional and mental instability during this time which was very trying. He went to Brazil post September 11th to gain some support from his family and his mother requested that he "come home". When he attempted to return to the States he was unable to. We are still on amicable terms however we communicate infrequently. I have begun to see someone else and would like to get an immediate divorce. We do not have any children or own any property together. We had one joint account but that has since been closed. Does he have to be present to begin divorce filings? Am I able to get an anulment?



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Question #64:

I got married in accordance with Islamic laws and not the state laws on New York. I have a marriage certificate from the Islamic Center of New York. My wife, who was a christian woman when we got married, has changed her believes to become athiest. We are currently going through a divorce and would like to know if I can exercise the religious marriage certificate and not the laws of the state of NY regarding the custody of the childern??




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Question #65:

My husband and I reside in NY State. We have been married for 4 1/2 years. We have not had marital relations for the last 2 years. I stopped that part of our relationship when the requests got too weird. In December I found out he was video taping me in my shower without my consent. We have no children, but own a home together. Our savings accounts are not joint and never were. I earn twice the amount of money he does. I would like to keep our home. Would this require a fair market buy out value? Does he have any right to my savings account? Do I have adequate grounds in NY State to file for divorce?




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Question #66:

Hello, I am going to try and keep this as short as possible. I have been married to my husband for approximately 5 months and I am considering a divorce. We have dated since I was 22 years old, I am now 29 he is 36. We have a 4 year old daughter together, and I have a son from a previous relationship who is 12. He has a daughter from a previous relationship who will be 12 in August, and has custody of. We have never lived together. We recently signed a lease on June 15 for one year. I moved most of my stuff in, but I do not "live" there yet. He will move his stuff in on sat the 21st of june. He is verbally abusive, and will not talk to me at times. In the past he has hit me and I even got a order of protection from him and one for my daughter. He had threathened to kick her across the lawn. He was mad he said. Anyway, we got back together a year after that happened. Long story short, I forgave him. He was seeming to do better. I broke it off kind of though because I told him that we either need to get married or move on so we got married and he said he was going to change. I talked to him about various things pertaining to marriage. Well he lied, because things have been bad, and I realize that it was a big mistake. Would it be easier to not officially move in, so that I will have a better chance at gaining custody of my daughter, as well as not complicating things more. I believe that he will get physically violent again because I will not let him have his way. He gets mad and does not know how to handle it except by being violent. I do not want him to touch me sexually either so I do not think it would be wise to move in because that will really upset him. I feel trapped, depressed I just do not know what to do. I would suggest counseling, but he does not see anything that he does as wrong, he says that I am the problem, and that I make him act that way. Please help. How much does a divorce generally cost. We have no accounts together, and have not acquired any bills together, we have no assets together. Just the 4 year old child. I do not work now, and when I do I only make about 5,000 dollars. He makes about 58 thousand. I am a student. Thank you



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Question #67:

My "future" wife and her husband were married in 1996. The marriage was consummated sexually (1) time. He has lived with his parents for the past 3 years. She has lived alone in her home, which she owned prior to the marriage for that period. She would like to file for divorce. My questions are, What would constitute "abandonment" and "cruel and inhuman treatment." She has written documentation of numerous cases of verbal abuse, supposed accidental property damage and slanderous statements. What would be the quickest way to obtain a divorce and how long would it take. Thank you for your assistance.





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Question #68:

My husband & I married in Hyde Park, NY and his permentant address is Seneca Falls, NY. He is active duty military and we reside in Washington, D.C. (where my permenant address is located). Because of our military situation, where do we file for seperation and divorce?




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Question #69:

If one's spouse is disabled and dependent on the other, can the other get a divorce while WILLING and promise to continue to support the other? There has been no sexual relationship for years due to illness and also no emotional attachment between us. I have found my true love and don't want to be chained to a loveless marriage for life. At the same time I know I'm being depended on. For this purpose all I want is a consent to divorce and I'll give whatever I can. We have no children. Is a divorce possible in this situation? What's the best ground? Thank you for your answer.



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Question #70:

Dear Sir, thank you for providing this web site. The faqs posted are very helpful. My question is a simple one (I'm in new york state by the way): if both spouses are still living together but both agree to divorce, can they file for divorce immediately, or do they still need to separate for 1 year before filing for divorce?




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Question #71:

My wife have been married for 4 years. We married in NY and lived there for 2.5 years. We then bought a house in NJ where we've lived for 1.5 years but I"ve continued to work in NY. We have a 4 year-old daughter. I have a high school education and have worked at the same job for 10 years and make about $80k/yr. She has a BA in business and worked for a year and a half making about $40k/yr but then stopped work to pursue a second degree to become an RN. She now goes to school full-time and works part-time making about $1600 net a month. I want to get a divorce and my questions are this:


1. If I wait another year to separate so she can finish school, will I be forced to pay more alimony because I've set a pattern of paying all the bills, or will the court take into consideration that she now has plenty of work opportunities with her degrees?


2. When I leave her I intend to move back to NY. Where do I file my separation and do I have to make a separation agreement with her prior to leaving? How long do I have to wait to file for a divorce?


3. To what extent does she get any proceeds from my sizeable 401k? Does she keep on getting entitled to more of it during the separation?


4. Will my child support payments be reduced once she returns to the workforce?


5. I believe she has money saved in a separate account or in her parents' name. What can I do about this and will it affect distribution of our property?


6. I want her to continue to live in the house with my daughter but will I be required to continue paying the mortgage, car-insurance, credit cards, utilities, etc?


Thanks in advance for your help!





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Question #72:

I am a resident of New York state, and was married in Georgia 4 months ago, can I get an annulment in New York state or will I have to go through Georgia? Thanks




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Question #73:

I have not been living with my wife for 13 years. She will not give me a separation or divorce. In New York state is there any way around this.




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Question #74:

In NY, other than through an uncontested (involving at-fault grounds), is there any way to avoid (or shorten) the one-year separation period to produce a no-fault divorce? If so, how quickly can such a divorce be finalized (actual decree)?

Thanks.




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Question #75:

I have been separated from my husband since 11/2001 and i am in the process of filing a divorce representing myself and i wanted to know whether it is legal to file for a divorce without a legal separation. I would really appreciate it you can help me in any way. Thank you for your time.



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Question #76:

I am currently living in Virginia but my home of record is New York. If I got married in the State of Virginia could I get a divorce under New York law? If I can is there any criteria that I would have to meet to do so?



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Question #77:

My wife and I filed for divorce back in 1985 in NYC. I signed the papers but somehow her Lawyer never filed the divorce. We found this out 2 years ago when she try to get married again. We have no children and we agree to have a separate life. We were married for only two years. I live in GA., Can I file for divorce from GA?



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Question #78:

I and my wife decided to divorce in NY State. it will be an uncontested. We have agreed to get divorce but we haven't separated for one year.


Is it possible to get divorce? or Do we need to be separated for one year?




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Question #79:

My sister's husband left her for another women whom he said (thought) was pregnant with his child. After realizing that the child was not his, he has been trying to reconcile with my sister who is adamant about remaining separated. They have been separated for almost two years now and in my attempt to help her, I want to know what the case for divorce looks like just taking into consideration the information provided thus far. (Married in NYC- both residing separately in NYC.)



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Question #80:


My wife and I were married about two years ago. Shortly after the wedding, I discovered that she had been having an affair with a man. Their sexual relationship had lasted right up to the wedding. Their relationship continued after the wedding, but my wife claims not to have had intercourse with the man. We have been separated (but not legally) for 6 months. I have decided that I want a divorce, and she said she would agree to one. The problem is that, in New York, you needs grounds for divorce, and this does not include "no fault". Abandonment would only be accepted if she had left over a year ago. Can I file for divorce under Adultery even though it happened before the wedding? Can I file under "Emotional Abuse"? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.



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Question #81: Do I have grounds for a divorce?? here's my story. My wife has been out late a lot lately. And talking to a Fellow male military member. finally on labor day weekend after not going with us to camp (she had to work) she was supposed to arrive on Sunday a little after 3pm. after numerous phone calls to her cell phone and my home, finally her mother and I packed the kids up at 10:45pm and went home thinking the worst. when I got home there was no car there. I immediately checked the answering machine thinking car accident. nothing. I guess I came to the realization that she would be at this other man's house. It was now 12 midnight. I got to his house and there she was. I rang the doorbell for a minute and it took about 2 mins to answer the door. She was in the back of the living room in an uncomfortable computer chair with her hair messed up. I went outside with her and asked what do you want to do, stay here or come home and talk; she kept telling me I dont know. I finally left. I stopped by the navy gate shack to file a report; at that time I didnt. I left for home appr. 1 hour later; a rep from the navy called and asked me if I wanted her to come home or go to a hotel as she was being asked to leave military housing. I said I want her to come home. when she arrived she barely said a word. After trying to talk i gave up and tried to sleep. I got up and went to the bathroom when I was in the bathroom I saw on the floor a bag with night clothes that she wears, toiletries and condoms. (I had a vasectomy in 2001. these condoms were from my drawer and forgotten until now.) I went downstairs and asked her what were these were she said "whatever". I tried then again to sleep. I found I couldn't. She had all the money and I needed cigs really bad by now. so I went into her purse and found condoms again. I yelled grabbed the money took both bags of condoms and went down to the navy base and filed a nine page report telling about that night and frequent times she's been late when talking to him. Then I went home. By this time my mother talked to her and she said she would tell him she would not talk to him anymore. Then I said if she did that I would get the report back. I did and she did. I now find thru phone records that she called him the same day when I was sleeping and has continiued to do so. he now says I am following him and has pictures of this. I am not. She does not want to be married, is continually verbally abusive to me, and we still live in the same house. I gave her the bags of condoms trying to make her see that I just want to be together. So now no report, no evidence, no nothing. Last week I found a card addressed to him saying she couldn't wait to be in his arms again. Do I have grounds for a divorce??? I can't let her continue to try and argue with me in front of the kids. I want physical custody and she's been staying out late still. I keep a journal of it . So I am asking you: do I have grounds for a divorce and what if any are my chances??




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Question #82:

I live in the NYC area and have been married for 2 years. My wife and I separated to take time out and decide if we wanted to divorce. She originally left with the intent to divorce but I did not want to. It has been 3 months already and she has confessed to sleeping with someone else. I now want to file for divorce on grounds of adultery but she claims I cannot because we were separated. Do I have the right to file on grounds of adultery although we were separated for 3 months?




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Question #83:

My husband and I have been together for 9 years and got married this past Feb 03 . In April he had an affair that lasted till Sept. I caught him by getting a copy of cell phone bills since Jan before we married. If I was to file for divorce can these copies of the bills hold up in court? and is adultery illegal in NYC?



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Question #84:

My question is I live in New York State.

I have been married for 2 years. My husband wants a separation but I am thinking about a divorce. Do I have to be separated a certain amount of time before I file for divorce? If so how long must I wait? Can I just file now?




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Question #85:

Great web site.Sure to get lots of prayers from the sufferers of once holly/now hell marriages.

Here is my question: My wife and I are foreign nationals, OR residents. While she was abroad for more than a year she has filed for divorce in our original home country.The case is under progress.Now she is back in OR and has gotten "a petition for seperation" issued as well as a "Groundless, restraining order" put in place. She got the petition served to me by tricking me into seeing our little kid scam. Can she file for this or do anything else legally while her original filing for divorce is in place and followed up by her local attorney abroad? She did do it right after she got back into the States after an absence of more than a year. Of course all she is trying to do is to hurt me in anyway she can.THANKS A LOT IN ADVANCE AND GOD BLESS FOR THIS SITE.



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Question #86:

My brother's wife left him last year and got her own apartment stating repeatedly she didn't want to be married to him anymore. He has, on numerous occassions, asked her to come back home and she continues to state that she no longer wants to be married. He has decided to pursue getting a divorce based on abandonment, however when he told her of his intentions, she told him she wouldn't pay for anything nor would she sign anything? So does this mean he's stuck just being married to someone who has not only left him, but refuses to set him free as well? They both live in New York State. Thank you for your attention.




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Question #87:

In 2001 I married an immigrant from Argentina. We have been married for almost 2 years in January 2004.

I recently found out he cheated on me w/ a woman in London for a week. He doesn't know that I know about it. I've already taken steps to divorce him .I want to know what evidence or proof do I need to file for divorce on the grounds of Adultery? I have reciepts , emails and phone numbers. Is this enough?

How quickly will the divorce proceed on adultery grounds.



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Question #88:

A man, who is married in NY, gets a foreign divorce and marries someone else in NY. Can his first wife go to court, in NY, and get this divorce invalidated? Is this man committing adultry?



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Question #89:

My husband and I have been separated for three years. I recently filed for divorce but he is contesting the divorce on the grounds that he wants me to be liable for a student loan he received why we were together.


Can I get a divorce on the grounds that we have been seperated for three years?



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Question #90:

Sir,

My daughter wants to leave her husband because of severe mental abuse.Can she leave the state of New York and come to North Carolina without legally seperating, or would that be considered abandonment?



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Question #91:

I have a family member that wants a divorce from his wife. They haven't had sex in over 2 years. Neither one of them would initiate it. About 4 years ago he asked her if she would like to renew there wedding vows, she told him NO. Does he have any grounds for divorce in the state of New York.



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Question #92:

Seven months ago, I separated from my husband of fifteen years. It was my intention to file for divorce on the grounds of cruel and inhuman treatment, but at his request we filed a separation agreement instead.


He has recently informed me that he wishes to proceed with the divorce so that he can get on with his life. (I have since heard through the grapevine that he has a new girlfriend who is allegedly pregnant, and whom he wants to marry).


I am more than happy to give him the divorce. My question is can a couple who is legally separated file for divorce before one year of separation. We live in New York State and I don't know if this will make a difference.



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Question #93:

Question:

My husband and I live in NY. We were married in NY in 1994. He recently said he wants to separate because he no longer feels comfortable being married to me because he has changed as a person. He said that after a year he plans to divorce me. We also have only one child who will turn 8 this year. We have been dealing with some hardships in our marriage the past two years. I feel we can overcome them, but he is refusing to try. I don't believe a separation is necessary and certainly not divorce. If I don't agree to separate, can he still go ahead and force one? Also, if we do separate, I'm self employed and make just a little less income then he does. A difference of about $6000./yr. If I were to be the custodial parent of our daughter, would he have to pay any child support or alimony?




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Question #94:


My girlfriend was married many years ago in Bahamas. She lived with her husband for a very short period of time in which he beat her. She has police reports to prove. She had sent money to a friend in Bahamas to do the divorce and really never got anything back. We want this straightened out. How do we proceed without involving this abusive ex husband. She is away from him for many year (5+) and is a new york resident her entire life. No kids.



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Question #95:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years, his " wife " filed and he signed, seven years ago, seperation papers, there have never been any problems between them there children are taken care of, what has to be done to finalize this, it is mutual. Since she filed does she have to initiate the rest of the proceedings ar can he. Sh had the lawyer.




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Question #96:

Question:


Can my husband and I file a Separation Agreement in New York


and move to another Country, and after a year or more come back


to New York and file for Divorce ???.


My husband and I have been married and live in NY for 35 years.


I am retiring and he retired already. I plan to make my residence in Sudamerica, his


plans are the same.


I donÂ’t want a divorce now, I want to give my husband one more opportunity and if


doesnÂ’t work I want a Divorce.


If the answer to my question is NO, how can I protect myself ???


I would like to divide all our assets before I leave, my husband is collecting two pensions


(Defined Benefit Pension) and Social Security.


Our assets are, 401K, IRA. Stocks and a house already paid.





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Question #97:

I was abandoned by my husband 2 yrs ago in nys can i file a solo divorce and what is the price. and i have a 9 yr old boy that lives with me.



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Question #98:

I am a citizen of France but have immigrated to the United States and are permanent residents in the United States. My husband left me 2 years ago to go back and live in France, although he still holds permanent residence status in the United States. He filed for divorce in France and I received a letter saying that I must go to French Courts. I do not know if the french courts are aware that I am permanently residing in the US. Do the French courts have jurisdiction? If I file for divorce in the US (California), will the US court have jurisdiction, even though my husband lives in France?



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Question #99:

Question:

My sister lives in upstate N.Y. near where we grew up. She has been married for 37 years still living in the same area. After her husbands many affairs and the most recent one lasting over 2 years she could no longer keep her sanity and moved out.


She had asked him to leave for months and he refused. He seems to be in no hurry to get a divorce because he "can have his cake and eat it too." He resides in their family home.


She only makes $215 a week and is finding it difficult to make ends meet. She talks of getting a divorce, but can not afford one.


If she filed for the divorce could the courts make him pay for it?


Also, what are the repercussions if she waits to file for a divorce? Someone told her she would lose everything if she did not get it over with. Can this be true?


Is there a waiting period before she can file for a divorce or before a divorce is final?


Thank you so much for your help.




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Question #100:

I live in Long Island, NY. I was married in Sept. 00 in New york. I have 3 children with him. In january of 01 my husband was sent to prison for 2 years and 6 months. He was released and went to live with his mother because he did not want to take care of his kids. 2 months later he was sent back to prison for a year. During that time I filed for a divorce. When he came back out he was abusive physically and verbally when he realized that I filed for divorce. On 2 occasions I called the police and I have an order of protection against him. He has since come and gone back to jail and he will be released in 08. Under what grounds could I file since he has not been in jail for consecutive 3 years? Could I file for just abandonment?



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Question #101:

Question:

I got married in CA , march 22, 2002. Since then my husband lost his job twice. In 3 years I have stayed 7 months + 9 months together. He has returned to his home country since April 2004. We both are unhappy with the way things are. He often exhibits violent rage, which makes me afraid to stay with him. He now does not plan to return any more. I want to move on with my life. I will be moving to NY soon. Where & when can I file for separation?



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Question #102: JURISDICTION

My husband and I were married 16 months ago in NY. We both lived in NY at the time. Five months ago he abandoned me, moving to DC. We both lived in DC before our marriage (not together), although I was a student and NY domiciliary throughout my time there. I have not lived in DC for 2 1/2 years or been there otherwise except for a visit 5 months ago. He wants to petition for divorce in DC, because he can do so more quickly and because he does not have grounds against me in NY. Although there are no significant marital assets in contention, I do not believe that he is entitled to anything because he abandoned me. Moreover, I am the primary breadwinner, and I do not want to be responsible for paying him alimony. I recognize that his domicile in DC gives them grounds to end our marriage, but, if I do not participate in the proceedings, will they have grounds to obtain any of the assets in my possession in NY or to force me to pay alimony?

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Question #103: I dissolved my divorce in the United States but my ex is in a foreign
country. My question is if this divorce is valid in that country or I
may have to request a new divorce there. Please, I am concerned I might
have problems there.
Please let me know.
thank you.


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Question #104: GROUNDS

My husband separated from me 3 times for a period of 1 year the first two times and going on 2 years the 3rd time. He separated from me March 2005 after I gave birth 5 months prior. Within the last 3 months we have had martial relations, but no discussion of reconciling. He has told me that it's over, he doesn't want to come back. I already obtained custody of our daughter and already obtained a support order, which he has been paying.

My question is: Can I file for divorce with grounds of constructive abandonment? Or does the fact that we had sexually relations terminate those grounds? Will I have to wait a period of time (1 yr) without sexually relations with him in order to use this grounds for our divorce, or are their any other options. Thanks for any advice.


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Question #105: GROUNDS:


My husband separated from me 3 times for a period of 1 year the first two times and going on 2 years the 3rd time. He separated from me March 2005 after I gave birth 5 months prior. Within the last 3 months we have had martial relations, but no discussion of reconciling. He has told me that it's over, he doesn't want to come back. I already obtained custody of our daughter and already obtained a support order, which he has been paying.

My question is: Can I file for divorce with grounds of constructive abandonment? Or does the fact that we had sexually relations terminate those grounds? Will I have to wait a period of time (1 yr) without sexually relations with him in order to use this grounds for our divorce, or are their any other options. Thanks for any advice.


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Question #106: I got married in the Philippines 2004 and went back to Ireland and got seperated in 2-3mos just right after the marriage. I wasnt able to file a divorce/annulment due to some financial reasons. My question is, can i file for a divorce here in CA. though i am just on a visitor's visa? I am about re-marry soon with my fiancee who is an American Citizen. Please enlighten me. I will greatly appreciate, Many thank's


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Question #107: My spouse and i have been living apart for over a year. she has moved out of state. i served her with a summons and complaint and the time period that she had to respond has passed. she and her attorney are simply ignoring the deadline. what happens now? am i stuck waiting or do i have recourse if she just ignores the summons? how long do i have to wait to take the next step and what would the next step be?



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Question #108: I was wondering how long you have to wait to get married after a divorce in NY state? My boyfriend is in the middle of his divorce. We want to get married as soon as possible. He and his X have been separated since 2000, We met in 2002.


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Question #109: Please advise if i was divorced in one state, but my ex and i and all children now reside in another state ( divorce in illinois but live now for past 2 1/2 years in indiana) does jurisdiction
have to remain in the state in which we were divorced.
I'm trying to have the case transferred for illinois to indiana but my ex who has not followed
the decree is trying to contest as a legal issue that it stays in illinois.
we both bought homes in indiana, drivers license issued in state of indiana, children
go to school in indiana and yet he is fighting the above. Please advise i'm at wits end!!!
we had one pretrial hearing and it is continued for 3mos until both parties argue the above
he's arguing it's a legal issue?????


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Question #110: Iam a Filipina who was petition (k1visa) by my boyfriend who is a u.s citizen and lived in colorado. We got married in colorado u.s.a and we have to transfered to England for his job assignment. We're only married for 8months and i already experienced abuse not physically but mentally. He never give me money or whatever except for food, he never have time for me because he is so busy with his job and because of that also his not active in bed.(i feel like im just a keeper here) Everytime we argue he always say that he want to divorce me and that make me scared coz i dont have family here in england and no job (they only accept NATO and u.s citizen) no money to support myself. My question is if i agree to divorce him, will i get monetary support from him (until now his paying morethan 60% of his salary to alimony for his ex wife) and what is my chance to get a immigrant visa since i never had the chance to apply for AOS when were in u.s? honestly im afraid to go back to the Phils coz some people there are very judgemental it will give me more pain to go back. Since iam married to u.s citizen, do i need marriage annulment in the phils.? Honestly never had a chance to think of this before i get married coz i thought im marrying a good man since he is a chaplain and a good marriage councelor. Thank you so much and God Bless!!!


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Question #111: Under ideal conditions, how long does it take from date of filing to finalize a divorce in New York? Thanks very much.


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Question #112: Sir - I have a v quick question - if its one that warrants payment first, please let me know...

My spouse lives in NY, I live in LA....we have been legally separated for just over a year....we would both like to file an uncontested divorce in NY....he is happy for me to act as the paintiff and have him served...however, do I have to be physically present at the NY court to file these papers? Or can I mail them in or alternative.....?

I already paid the $210 in filing the separation and obtaining an index nunber which is why I am reluctant to pay another filing fee in LA...

Anyway - a million thank yous and prayers if this is somethig you might be able to answer!


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Question #113: Here is me problem.I was married to my husband for 10 years.Last march he started an affair I found out about it in may and and he moved out on me and our 2 children in jaune .we are not legal separated yet but he is now living with his girlfriend.I do not want to go though the legal spration I just want the divorce so I can move on with my life and start dating.what can I do and how much will it cost for the divorce I do not have alot of money at all as he left me with all the bills and the house and kids.we have child support set up with nt child support. Thanks


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Question #114: Married and both living in NY
My wife and I have been living apart since November 1999. We were married 9 years and no children. All property and assets have been split and we have no children. What can I do if she refuses to sign a separation or divorce agreement even if I am willing to sign that I am at fault in one of the grounds for divorce in New-York. Since the separation in 1999 we both acquired property (home) seperately.
Thank You for your help.


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Question #115: Married and both living in NY. My wife and I have been living apart since November 1999. We were married 9 years and no children. All property and assets have been split and we have no children. What can I do if she refuses to sign a separation or divorce agreement even if I am willing to sign that I am at fault in one of the grounds for divorce in New-York. Since the separation in 1999 we both acquired property (home) seperately.
Thank You for your help.


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Question #116:
I came across your site on the Internet. My wife and I have been married juts over 14 years. She is not in love with me. As far as I can tell, she has been faithful, and I know I have been.

We, emotionally and physically, have been seperated about 8 months. We live in the same house. We have three kids together.

We are friends. Like roomates.

We have no real assets. She can have the house. The kids--with an agreed upon sharing system--which we have discussed, and are both comfortable with.

I will pay child support, above and beyond to ensure they can maintain a similiar quality of living. (As I am now hunting for an affordable apartment within the area).

I work two jobs, my wife works one. Finances were probably a big reason behind our falling apart.

Truth is, I'm not even sure how we can afford paying for a divorce.

Anyway you can send us some information on avoiding courtrooms, lawyers, and just move on in an amicable fashion to divorce us?



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Question #117: My husband and I were married at the NY County Clerks office in 2005. The
marriage has deteriorated steadily since then. I moved to Florida 2006. He
moved here a few weeks ago, but the marriage is not improving and steadily
growing worse. Can I file for a divorce from the state of Florida if I
married in New York. If we are both residents of Florida state, can we file
for a divorce here. If I am the one divorcing him am I subject to Alimony
laws? Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.


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Question #118: separated from my wife almost a year ago, Im in the process of getting a divorce but she is contesting it.
I dont have the money to afford a long battle. When i left i gave her everything i only took personal things. there
is no property and 1 vehicle that i left with her. What can she contest theres nothing to fight for. We were married
a little over one year and were married in new york state.
Thank you for your time.


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Question #119: Are you considered legally divorced in NY state if you haven't received the certificate of dissolution, but the divorce was signed and I received a copy of it from the county clerk's office?



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Question #120: Hello,
I found your services via a web search and wanted to seek some advice, at
least initially. Here's what's happening: my wife and I are in a
relationship is clearly not working, due mostly to insurmountable
communication & financial issues. We currently live in Brooklyn and have
no kids. We still love each other and don't want to rule out the
possibility of reconciling. To me, that means divorce is out of the
question - it's too final, emotionally and mentally speaking. She's
moving away and we agree we need to separate financially too. We've had
the initial "who gets what" talk, and it went well for both.

What are the next steps? We need a separation agreement, no? She's
trying to leave in the next few DAYS. Can we get a separation agreement
executed that quickly? Do we need a lawyer? Can a mediator help this?
Can we do this by mail? If we can do this by mail, the timing's not so
important. What's next?



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Question #121:
2 years ago I filed for divorce in New York for actual abandonment and cruel & inhuman treatment, but before the divorce went through (it was written up and filed officially with the county) my husband decided he wanted to come back and work on the marriage. I took him back and dropped the divorce. 2 years later things are not much better and possibly considering again. Can I file again under the same grounds? Or is he the one who has to file now?


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Question #122: I was married in the state of New York, But i am currently living in the state of Georgia, is it possible to have a divorce in New York?


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Question #123: I cannot find anywhere on the internet if it is legal or not to be served with divorce papers while you are pregnant. My husband is in the Air Force and is deployed just outside Iraq. He wants a divorce. I am pregnant and due just one week shy of his return date to Germany where we were both living. Just before he left for deployment, I moved back home to Upstate NY. We agreed beforehand (knowing I was pregnant) that the marriage has long been over (we have only been married 11 months). He put a hold on the orders to send my personal items/belongings/furniture back to me in NY until he gets back to Germany from deployment in November. I have a baby on the way, and cannot get an apartment with no furniture. I should probably inform you as well that he is scamming the government by collecting dependent pay (money he gets to support his dependent, which would be me) and he has not sent me a penny since March 15. It is now May 22. I'm sleeping on my mother's couch while looking for a job and an apartment, but as I stated before I cannot get an apartment without furniture due to the fact that I have a baby on the way.
He wants a divorce and I had a message today on my answering machine that someone was trying to get ahold of me to serve me divorce papers. As I said, I am pregnant. I know in some states it is illegal to serve a pregnant woman with divorce papers. Is this true in NY? I've tried contacting the Legal Assistance office at Fort Drum to get answers, but no one will talk to me. Please help. Thank you.



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Question #124: Hi.



My wife and I lived in NJ for the last several years and she still lives there (in a house I’m still paying for), although I’ve moved back into NYC. We initially lived together in NYC for about 7 years after we were married and before we moved out to NJ. We were actually married in Texas, although we never established residence there.



We are amicably separated and have discussed divorce as the next logical step. The most difficult aspect is that she’s still financially dependent on me and unable (or unwilling) to work. So I think we need help mapping out a mutually agreeable plan.



I have a couple of questions:



- You don’t mention costs on your website. Can you please tell me about how much your solutions typically cost?



- Do you actually help with the paperwork for the lawsuit? Or do you only do mediation services? And if so, how much are those costs?



- I’m not really sure which state’s laws we need to be concerned about. Would I be better off finding a lawyer in NJ?



- What’s next?



Thanks




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Question #125: I'll make this short and to the point. Hopefully I will give enough information to get an answer.

In the next 2 months I plan to leave my husband. He hasn't cheated on me (as far as I know) and vice versa. He isn't physically abusive, he's just not supportive emotionally. In my opinion he is a self-centered controlling mommas boy. He is an only child of a woman that has too much input in our lives. Over the years I have become very unhappy and withdrawn. We have a 4 year old child. I want to leave, we have about $50,000 in the bank. Because I know that he will make it very hard for me to get any of that money my plan is to move mine and my child's things out the house while he is at work. Go to the bank and take 50% of what is in the accounts. I'm not going to take any of the furniture just my belongings. I work and have always worked. We pay all the bills together. I'm the primary caretaker of our child, I'm the one that tends to all his emotional needs, the doctors appt, the school trips and anything else that is involved in our child's upbringing. My husband doesn't do anything for our child except show up. My husband is not a bad father, he's just not a good one. He doesn't know how to be there for anyone but himself. I have no intention of keeping our child from him. We can share custody I just want physical custody of our child. I live in NY and know that I can't file for divorce immediately. I don't want ANYTHING from him except for him to take care of his child. If he and I can work that out between the two of us I prefer to do it that way. I don't want to run back and forth to court, don't want lawyers involved. I just want to get on with my life without him, but we can try and be friends for the well being of our child together. What legal advice can you give? Oh, we have been married for 4 years.


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Question #126:

Hello,



My husband and I created a Separation Agreement about a year ago, privately between the two of us. We are best of friends and still live together, (roommates- no sex), and lead separate lives.



We have no children, property, or anything together. We each have our own things. Though we do file joint taxes.

We got married because we thought it was the next step, but we really are just best of friends. We are very amicable J



We now wish to move forward and divorce.



My questions are:

1- Can we still live together (as roommates- no sex involved).

2- Did our living together ruin it in the “eyes of the law” and so they won’t view us as “separated” and we have to start over!!?

3- As neither one of us is abusive, we have not abandoned each other, or been adulterer’s etc… what could we use for grounds?





Thank you.






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Question #127: Can I divorce my husband if I live in Va and he lives in New York?


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Question #128: My parents have been separated for over 30 years. My mom has been keeping her separation agreement (from their lawyer at the time) thinking it is the same as a divorce certificate. She claims her lawyer at the time told them they will be automatically divorced after one year. That lawyer has passed away.



How can she go about getting a divorce certificate without having to find my dad to sign anything? We heard he moved to a different country. Their separation agreement was very detailed and they had no unresolved issues.



How fast can this be processed or finalized?




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Question #129:
I live in a suburb of NYC. I have been married for 5 years and have one child (1 year). I am completely miserable in my marriage. My husband and I do not love or even like each other; however, I know I do not have legal grounds for divorce in NY.
When I bring up the topic of divorce/seperation he tells me to leave but to leave our son with him. He says he would never separate without full custody of our son. I would be willing to share custody (if I was the primary custodial parent). I would not even want spousal support-just child support.
My question(s) is/are am I stuck in this marriage due to lack of legal grounds and refusal of my husband AND if divorce is possible could he really get custody of my son? I am currently a part time NYC school teacher. I stopped working full time when my son was born. I could go back full time whenever I want; however, even if I worked full time he earns more than double what I do-would this impact custody? Also, I would have to reside with my parent's (more than enough room for my son and I) for about a year to get on my feet. My husband could afford to live on his own.


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Question #130: If I was married in south America in the 60s moved to the US and became a duel citizen have been in NY ever since.

Now I want to get a divorce but here is the detail

Husband was in jail for 10 yrs and was released back in 2003 and we tried to live together. He then last year left to live with his girlfriend for a couple of weeks and it didn’t work so he came back. We are in the process of selling our townhouse and I just want to be rid of him.

Can I get a “default divorce” in my favor??






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Question #131: I am about to be served with divorce papers. My husband and I were married in Brevard County, Florida. He is originally from Monroe County, New York. He is a Florida resident. We moved to Rochester in December 2006 and I left in January 2007 because of his temper and physical nature. He has filed for divorce in monroe county. What are my rights, are they Florida laws, or New York laws. We also sold a vehicle that belonged to myself and was only in my name and purchased a new vehicle in his name. Am i entitled to ask the court for alimony or some kind of arrangement for him to get me a vehicle for transportation so that i have a means to work. I am not working and havent much since I have been in Florida for the reason of a vehicle. I am living with my sister and her family and I believe it would be most helpful if there is any advise that you can give me before I sign the divorce papers. I believe it should have been my husbands responsibility to help me out financially as the reason I left New York was for the abuse. While in Florida i have called the police several times for domestic violence but i dropped the charges. Can you please help in any way?


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Question #132:
We were married in NY five years ago and then moved to CT soon after. Is it possible for me to remain in CT- but use a NY lawyer?
I feel that NY is a better place to get a divorce in.


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Question #133: My husband and I were married in NY, but we live in Arizona and own a house here, can you tell me under what state laws we will have to get divorced under? Also, we do not have kids and are parting amicably and would like to do this as cheap as possible (write our own papers etc.) can you recommend a legitimate website where we can get legal papers to fill out? Thank you.




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Question #134: I am sorry I sent you a previous email stating that my husband is a Florida resident but HE lives in New York currently and I live in Florida. Does this change jurisdiction?

Thanks again.




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Question #135:
I have a 18 month old son from a 15 month marriage. We have been living in separate residences and apart for 11 months. My wife ( soon to hopefully be my ex wife)is has been not very cooperative with my visitation, not showing up many times for the court ordered visits with my son, which we do the exchange at the local precinct because she cannot be trusted. She had me arrested several months ago and has an order of protection on me for completely baseless accusations(the court system is just outrageous of what is allowed men have no rights in ny) She is now refusing to sign the divorce papers stating that she wants a passport for my son which I absolutely refuse to agree to because i truly believe that she will leave the country and take my son away and I love my son with my life ( seriously she has family abroad). Can the divorce still go through while we are disputing this and she refuses to sign the papers?Can the Judge rule that she can have this passport leaving me powerless?Does the judge have that power? This whole mess has reached Supreme court already.

Thank you for you time.


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Question #136: If someone is residing in NY and was married in NY and wants to get a divorce quickly in another state or country can they do that? There are no children in the marriage. And they have decided amicably how to divide the assets.



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Question #137: A little over 3 years ago my daughter, a US citizen,
moved to the United Kingdom and married. Her husband,
2 1/2 years later, moved to Singapore. She lived in
London for 7 months alone then moved to Singapore for
one month and now realizes the marriage is over. How,
and, where can she file for a legal separation or
divorce?


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Question #138: I have been married for less than 6 months and I’m considering divorce; based on the information I read it seems that an annulment is out of the question. But I would like to know what exactly constitutes fraud (in regards to an annulment)? My husband is 20 and I’m 27 and we only lived together for the first 2 months of our marriage. He is currently in a government funded school program…..Can my husband ask for alimony even though we do not live together? Can I have him served with divorce papers at his school??? Can anyone serve him??? I would appreciate any help in this matter…..never thought I would have to go through this…..but I'm sure that's what a lot of us are saying!!!


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Question #139: I am an Indian and my son lives in New York City for last eight months. He was married to Indian girl in India 3 years back. The marriage was registered as per Indian Marriage Act. Both of them went to US eight months back on H1B Visa and staying seperately there for last eight months. They appear not in a mood to continue relationship and want Divorce.
Now can they get divorce in New York (US) itself OR they have to come down to India? What are the procedures? What about Distribution of property in India?


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Question #140: I have been married with my husband for three years and I am working on giving him his residence thru immigration. After three years of marriage I discovered he was unfaithful and in fact had a child recently with another women. I want to get divorce but I don't know how I can approach this. Can you help me??? Please let me know how much the cost will be. I do reside in Yonkers, NY.


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Question #141: My friend in NY has been Married for about 1 year and 10 months but has been living apart from her husband for 7 months now. No legal separation has been filed yet (she did know she needed it). But she would like to get a final divorce as soon a possible, as she would like to move on with her life. Is there a way that she would not have to wait a full year? And if she does have to wait the year after the separation papers have been filed is she free to see other people during that year?


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Question #142:

I have lived in a nightmare for the past two years. My husband of 31 years cheated on me with my so called best friend. Not only was she my friend but for the last two years she worked for me and I had no recourse at work but to work along side of her otherwise I would have lost my 21 year job. Because I live in this Great New York, the laws are terrible. I had emails that they shared and cards and also copies of his poems to her. Since they were not caught in the act, I cannot sue for adultery. I have been back and forth in court for the last year and since it is a NO FAULT State, me the innocent party suffers. I am 50K in debt with one lawyer who I dismissed and now I have another lawyer and it still goes on.

What makes matters worse is that I make more money then he does, so since I do and he has no benefits I have to share all of my retirement benefits. To make matters worse he wants survivor benefits. Not only survivor benefits, but my pto Paid Time Off. He wants half of that when I retire. Let's see, oh yes he wanted support, he wants me to have a life insurance policy, the list goes on and on.

I can even go further and tell you that this man that I have no idea who he is, took private pictures of me during our marriage and when I found his emails to his girlfriend, I found he had been posting my pictures on the Internet at different porno sights. Well New York has no laws on this either, so all he has received by the District Attorney and the Judges here in Putnam County, but a slap on the wrist.

I have to sell the house and all I do is clean up his mess.



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Question #143: I am in a unique situation, I have been married for a month and a half and want to get a divorce. I married him because at the time I was pregnant and my mother threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't. A few days after the marriage I miscarried and since then all I recieve is verbal abuse on a daily basis. I need to get out of this relationship. Is it possible with such a short time period after the marriage? If so, how long can it take to complete?


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Question #144: I know you guys are probably swamped with questions about divorce and I hate to add to it but I can't really get a straight answer.
I am in the military stationed in Virginia. I was married in New York 2 years ago, but only lived with my spouse for about a month before we called it quits. Go figure. I have met someone else and would like to get on with my life but her and I are still legally married even though I haven't seen or even talked to her in almost 2 years. I want to know if I can file for a no-fault divorce in Virginia even though I am a New York resident and was married in New York?

Thank you for your time.


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Question #145: I was married in the Philippines July 2001 because I got pregnant. By June 2003 we separated amicably. By October 2005 I came here in the US leaving my daughter in his care and my parents. I now want to divorce him, I spoke to him about my decision and told me that he's willing to sign the needed paper works. We agreed that custody of our child will be shared.There are no properties to divide and am not asking anything from him and neither is he asking anything from me. How do I file for divorce here in NY? We have been separated for more than 4 years and I want to move on. What are the paper works needed to begin filing and how much will it cost me? Will it be possible to divorce him?


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Question #146:
I have been "legally separated" for six years. I would like to finalize a divorce. How simple and how expensive should it be? My "husband" and I just need to change one or two items in filed separation agreements...and we both agree...We live in New York.
Thanks for your response.


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Question #147: A friend of mine got married in New York City 6 years ago. She and her husband currently reside in New Jersey.

If she were to file for a divorce, would the proceedings be subject to New York Laws or those of New Jersey?




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Question #148: My question is what are marital assets? I have no issue with physical possessions and those can be divided equally. My problem is that my wife refuses to engage in sexual relations with me and I am very tired with this issue. If she no longer loves me then I can live with that. Can I divorce her on that issue in the state of new york?

I live in Upstate area and would like to know. We have two children together who are 7 and 9. We both earn equal amount but seem to no longer love each other and that issue is spilling over into our relationship with our children.

Thanks.


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Question #149: My wife resides overseas we were both born in
Caribbean, and married there, I've lived outside the
matrimonial home for over 9 yrs ,resident of nys for
2yrs,currently in military wants a divorce, How do I
go about this? There is a 18yr old child of
marriage,no property,no assets . I have two other
children outside of marriage and wish to move on, how
can she be served? Do I need an attorney or can I file
on my own?


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Question #150: My best friend has been legally married to his wife for 3 years now but
they have NEVER lived together since getting married.He resides in VA
for work and she resides in Queens NY with their 3 year old daughter.
They just got a legal separation document in March of 2008. My question
is since they have not resided together the entire duration of the
marriage and they have not slept together in 2 years do they have to
wait out the legal separation period of a year to have a finalized
divorce or can they divorce now? They both agree it is a no fault
divorce. Please advise, he would like to end this marriage sooner rather
than later. Thanks!


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Question #151: I married my husband in June 18, 1999 in the country of Panama. I'm a U.S. citizen. As I was filling for the papers for him to come to California to live with me and his son, he has an affair in Panama and gets a girl pregnant. I went back to panama to try to get a divorce, but I gave him another chance. Now looking back I wish that I could turn back time, and never gave him that chance. It took me a while to forgive him, but I did and I continued on with the papers, now my husband is a resident of California. I brought him to California to live with me 2004. Now I would like to get a dirvorce because he is not doing anything that will help us to better our future. We have a son that's 7 years old and he's not even paying child support. How can I get a divorce in California? The only record that shows we are married is Immigration, not the court, so can I go to the local court and get a divorce even thought I got married in Panama? I still have the marriage cirtificate, but its in spanish.


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Question #152: My mom is 80 yrs old. Married a man (similar age) about 3 yrs. ago.
Of course they have never been intimately involved during this
marriage. She moved out of their living together over a yr. ago. She
was served divorce papers, reason abandonment. If she wants nothing
from the marriage and is not entitled to anything such as the home
previously owned by he and his deceased former wife or support
(alimony) and she is completely uncontesting the divorce, again wants
nothing, does she have to turn over her financial documents and
appear in court or will a letter to the court and cc his attorney be
enough?


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Question #153: My husband retained a lawyer to create a “Boilerplate” settlement agreement which he handed me on 4/1/08(April Fool’s Day) in NY.
I still haven’t received any correspondence from his lawyer and have no idea how to send back any changes to the agreement. It has many errors in procedure and even states that Child support doesn’t start till 2 years after the agreement is signed.
I have consulted several legal sources and they advise that I send a letter asking that my husband negotiate a different agreement since the one already written has someone else’s decisions and desires for a settlement. My husband says it is a starting point and wants the agreement to go back and forth with any changes. I feel it is a SUPREME waste of time and Lawyer fees.
What do you think??

I was also checking the Supreme Civil calendar and found the woman my husband has been cheating with. She filed for Divorce before Valentine’s Day 2008 and is using the same law firm that my husband retained.
Is that ethical for the same firm to represent both of them in their Divorces??
Can I make a complaint about the firm??

I look forward to your response.



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Question #154: My husband retained a lawyer to create a “Boilerplate” settlement agreement which he handed me on 4/1/08(April Fool’s Day) in NY.
I still haven’t received any correspondence from his lawyer and have no idea how to send back any changes to the agreement. It has many errors in procedure and even states that Child support doesn’t start till 2 years after the agreement is signed.
I have consulted several legal sources and they advise that I send a letter asking that my husband negotiate a different agreement since the one already written has someone else’s decisions and desires for a settlement. My husband says it is a starting point and wants the agreement to go back and forth with any changes. I feel it is a SUPREME waste of time and Lawyer fees.
What do you think??

I was also checking the Supreme Civil calendar and found the woman my husband has been cheating with. She filed for Divorce before Valentine’s Day 2008 and is using the same law firm that my husband retained.
Is that ethical for the same firm to represent both of them in their Divorces??
Can I make a complaint about the firm??

I look forward to your response.



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Question #155: My sister and her husband of 1.2 years were having some problems so she asked him to move out. It's been about 3 months and she has no idea where he's living or any other contact information (except email, which he ignores). He's an airline steward so is difficult to reach via work. Can she file for separation without his signature or knowing his whereabouts? Would filing a missing persons report help at all?


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Question #156: Hi, my question is if while a few months into a legal separation one of the spouses or both enter into new relationships would it be considered adultery and easier to file on those grounds rather than waiting out the year? In the separation papers it states that we are to live as if single and unmarried and not to cohabit or dwell with one another so I am wondering if this allows for each of us to be involved with someone else or if it is considered adultery. We have no issue with the fact that we may get involved with another as we both are in agreement with the separation, no longer love one another and both want to dissolve the marriage. Thank you


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Question #157: My wife & I were married for 17 years during which she has been very violent & unstable. We reside in Suffolk County, NY. We have 2 children together, ages 17 & 12. We have been discussing divorce for a while now. We had agreed that I would move out & we would mediate the divorce, but she threw me for a loop. Out of no where, she hits me with a stay-away order that she got from family court based on complete lies. This was only 3 days before I was moving out anyway. She closed all of our banks accounts, took all of our tax refund money, took all the money from her 401k, even took the last $300 I had in my pocket! I am currently on umemployment while she works full-time. She managed to hire herself a fancy lawyer (with what is half my money) and I can't afford to pay my rent. She filed for divorce & served me already, grounds being cruel & inhumane treatment. I cannot afford an attorney. All of my credit cards have been shut off & all my assets disappeared. My question is, what if I choose to ignore her summons to buy time to save up some money? Can she be granted a divorce if I don't respond? I have contacted the Modest-Means Committee in Nassau/Suffolk County & was told I don't qualify for assistance. No decent attorney will take the case without several thousand dollars that I don't have. The biggest issue in the divorce is custody. My kids want to live with me, but she won't even allow them to visit right now. Please help!


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Question #158: My wife & I were married for 17 years during which she has been very violent & unstable. We reside in Suffolk County, NY. We have 2 children together, ages 17 & 12. We have been discussing divorce for a while now. We had agreed that I would move out & we would mediate the divorce, but she threw me for a loop. Out of no where, she hits me with a stay-away order that she got from family court based on complete lies. This was only 3 days before I was moving out anyway. She closed all of our banks accounts, took all of our tax refund money, took all the money from her 401k, even took the last $300 I had in my pocket! I am currently on umemployment while she works full-time. She managed to hire herself a fancy lawyer (with what is half my money) and I can't afford to pay my rent. She filed for divorce & served me already, grounds being cruel & inhumane treatment. I cannot afford an attorney. All of my credit cards have been shut off & all my assets disappeared. My question is, what if I choose to ignore her summons to buy time to save up some money? Can she be granted a divorce if I don't respond? I have contacted the Modest-Means Committee in Nassau/Suffolk County & was told I don't qualify for assistance. No decent attorney will take the case without several thousand dollars that I don't have. The biggest issue in the divorce is custody. My kids want to live with me, but she won't even allow them to visit right now. Please help!


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Question #159: My husband and I were married in Newport News, VA in 2005, we separated for a year and a half in 2006. We got back together in December 2007. I left my husband in March of 2009 because he began to be cruel towards me and due to domestic violence on his part towards me in the past I left for fear that I would go through that with him again. I moved back to my home state of residence to live with my parents. We have a 3 year old daughter and I would like to get full custody of her allowing him visitation rights. I am not working and I would like to get help from DC now that I am a full resident again but I have been told I need to file paperwork for a legal separation and child support. I don’t know where to begin. I want to know do I need to do these things in VA or DC. He has moved to live with his mother in MD and to my understanding will be residing there from now on. Where should I start as far as getting a legal separation agreement filed and custody/child support motions?


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Question #160: Me and my husband got married legally in NY 15 October 2007 and religiously married 19 Oct 2007 ( registered by state of NY). but did not start living together until 14 march 2008 .
I love him a lot even though it was arranged marriage he never really accepted the marriage well enough but from my end i have fulfilled all the duties of a good wife. his shopping meals the house everything I took care of personally him and my in laws really didn’t treat me good enough and we were having problems one day he was kicking me out of the house and slapped me and abused me and I called the police, but not with the intention of getting him arrested ..I just got scared and thought he needs to understand he can’t treat his wife like that.
He was in jail for 24 hours and now the state put a case against him and max he will have to pay a fine violation or misdemeanor. and I did everything in my reach to get him out of this trouble . But now he wants a divorce and he puts grounds of adultery and cruel inhuman treatment. I know he doesn’t really know divorce is a wrong step . I want to stop it by contesting and making him realize we can work it out. But how can he prove inhuman treatment??? can he say I sent him to jail but he did something wrong and for that time he deserved that otherwise he would not realize his mistake. did I do anything wrong , I have always had best favor of him.

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Question #161: A friend of mine married a women in NY but is from Canada, they have been married for 2+ years but have never lived together. He is living in NY and has been for 3+ years, he is there on a work visa. He is wanting a divorce but she is giving him problems & he feels she will not sign the papers. They have not been together in any type of relationship in over a year. She keeps telling him that she has applied in Canada and papers have been sent to him but he never gets them as she is playing games with him.

What advise would you suggest for him to end this legally?


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Question #162: A friend of mine married a women in NY but is from Canada, they have been married for 2+ years but have never lived together. He is living in NY and has been for 3+ years, he is there on a work visa. He is wanting a divorce but she is giving him problems & he feels she will not sign the papers. They have not been together in any type of relationship in over a year. She keeps telling him that she has applied in Canada and papers have been sent to him but he never gets them as she is playing games with him.

What advise would you suggest for him to end this legally?


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Question #163: I was married in the state of NY 10 years ago, after 3 years of marriage and 1 child, my husband a I amicably filed for a legal separation.
my question: is it true. that after 7 year following the legal separation you are automatically considered divorced ?

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Question #164:
Hello. I was looking at your website and I have a question to ask. I got married in March of 2004. My husband abandoned me in August of 2004. Our son was born in October of 2004. It has been almost 5 years now that he left. I know that he left to Mexico but I have no idea where. He hasn't contacted me since and I do not have any way to get a hold of him, I have no clue where he could be. I am ready to move on with my life. I would like to get a divorce but how do I start. We do not own any property together, we lived with my parents. I would like sole custody of my son. Would I even be able to get divorced on account that my husband is nowhere to be found? What about getting sole custody? He has made no attempt to contact his son or myself for that matter. I am ready to leave that behind. I am in California, I know you help people in New York but if you could give me some idea at what I will be looking at, I would really appreciate it. Thank You.


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Question #165: was married in the state of n.y. 10 years ago, after 3 years of marriage and 1 child, my husband a I amicably filed for a legal separation.
my question: is it true. that after 7 year following the legal separation you are automatically considered divorced ?


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Question #166: I was married in the state of n.y. 10 years ago, after 3 years of marriage and 1 child, my husband a I amicably filed for a legal separation.
my question: is it true. that after 7 year following the legal separation you are automatically considered divorced ?


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Question #167: My wife has moved overseas in Turkey, its been a year since weve been seperated, she wont come back to states, how do i file for a divorce, or can it just be dissolved? Plz Help


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Question #168: My husband and I separated in July 2009, I moved to NYC he still resides Upstate NY. I filed for an Uncontested Divorce (on my own due to financial hardship), and attempt to serve him with the Summons with Notice and Verified Complaint. He knows that the Process Server tries to serve him but he is hiding because he wants to file for divorce against me "first". Is it possible for him to file for a divorce in the same state (NY) but in a different County than the one I reside in, if I already filed for divorce with the court?


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Question #169: I came across your company website while searching for answers concerning divorce on the internet.

I am seeking some advice and help with my situation and thought it best to write to you before discussing further on the telephone.

I'll try and keep this simple and to the point.


1. I am a british born and bred citizen. My perm address is in the UK but currently I am working in Switzerland.


2. My wife has been living and working in NYC for about 10 years on a green card however obtained her American citizenship earlier this year (she moved to the USA from India where she was born)

3. We obtained a civil court marriage in NYC Queens over 2 years ago. We then obtained a traditional marriage in India almost 2 years ago.

4. We have never really lived together but i have made occasional trips to NY and she made occasional trips to the UK. We both continued to work in our own countries respectively.

5. We didn't click from just before the marriage and had many ups and downs which finally resulted in the decision to obtain a divorce. We have been separated (not legally) for almost a year (we have not met each other since the end of February 2009)


6. We do not have children, we do not want any money or possessions from each other, we both agree on a uncontested divorce.


Question.

Is it possible for me to file for a divorce from England or must I attend a court in NY? What is the easiest way (and quickest) for us to obtain a divorce.

also, since we never really lived together what are the chances of obtaining an annulment?

I have recently downloaded divorce papers from an american website but they just are too complicated, perhaps if this is the only method available you could help me this?


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Question #170: Hi,
I and my husband are both residents of NY. We've been married for 3 months and have a 9-month-old child. I am not sure if I can qualify for the grounds to be divorced - I have been verbally and physically abused but never filed a complaint and have no police report. There are only couple of pictures of bruises on my face taken by me in the beginning of the year. I know that my husband will not agree to divorce. We currently stay together but do not communicate. Is there a way to make him leave the apartment (it's under my name)? And do I have a chance to get divorced? If we stay together for a year but don't have intimacy will it be considered as grounds? How can I prove that we aren't close? Will the child stay with me?


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Question #171:
My boyfriend has lived apart from his wife for over 6 years. They have a child together. He does not see his child nor even know where his spouse lives. When they were together, they were married and lived in NYS. He still resides in NY and believes she does as well. How can he get a divorce from her? And what about visitation for the child?

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Question #172: Hello, I came across your site and I have a question for you, My daughter has been married for the past three and a half months. during that time I would say that most of the marriage has been spent apart and separate. He has been mentally and emotionally cruel to her. In the state of NY what is the time period she can file for a divorce and what are the grounds. They have both been residents in the state for over 10 years.


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Question #173: I went through a New York divorce a few years ago, and the unnecessary stress and financial burden incurred was ridiculous. The so-called "adversarial" lawyers dragged out the proceedings, but it was clear, in court, that they and the judge were all buddies. My ex and I paid out a combined $20,000 and wasted two years of our lives in a contested divorce (I filed using grounds of cruel and inhuman treatment; the divorce was granted, however, using "abandonment" as grounds.) The whole game was so painful, I felt as though I should have sued the State of New York for cruel and inhuman treatment.

Now one of my children is contemplating divorce. Please, New York State, don't torture her the way you tortured her father and me!

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Question #174: My daughter got married to an person of Indian Origin who is a citizen of USA. He was residing in Bombay(India), and the marriage also took place in Bombay. He had verbally promised her that he would stay permanently in Bombay since he does not like USA. He even had an apartment in Bombay where the couple stayed for about three months. His parents are based in USA. However, three months after marriage he said that he wishes to settle down in USA with his parents. My daughter did not like the place in USA where they were staying. And since she was promised that she would always be residing in Bombay, she came back to India.

Now this guy has applied for a divorce in USA and may get an ex-parte Divorce order too. Is this order valid in India ? (The marriage was solemnized in India). How will she know that the order has been passed and what if he marries someone in USA without informing my daughter about the ex parte order

Kindly advise


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Question #175: Before marriage my husband had told me that he had been married previously but had been divorced. We married in Las Vegas in 2003. He recently confessed that he was still married when he left New York 8 years ago but has had no contact with his previous spouse after he left New York to come to California. He said he thought he was divorced because his previous spouse went looking for him at his parents’ house after he moved to California to find him so she could request a divorce since she wanted to remarry. He did receive paperwork for the divorce request but he never signed them or contested them. He does not want to look into it to see if he is indeed divorced because he does not want to "open a can of worms".

Due to unrelated issues, I am now seeking a divorce. However, I am wondering if our marriage was ever legal in the first place. I would much rather have our marriage voided instead of going through a sticky divorce.

Is there any resource for me to find out if he is still married? Or does the fact that he has not been in contact with his previous spouse for over 10 years completely void his previous marriage?

Thank you in advance for all your help.

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Question #176: I was married in May 2005. My husband was deported to his home country of India in 2007 but is now legally residing in Dominican Republic. He just recently admitted he committed adultery and is now living with the person. Even though he asked for a divorce he will not sign the papers if I try to serve it to him. Can I obtain a divorce without his signature? Right now I reside in NYC.


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Question #177: My husband and I have been married for 14 years He went to China and has fallen in love with a woman there…I want him to be happy and we would like a quick divorce…he would like to have the woman from china come here to marry her …I am fine with this …We do have a child ..We want to all live together and be happy..

Is there any quick easy way to do this ..

Thank you

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Question #178: i was with my husband for 20 yrs, married for 13. he is an abusive alcoholic drug user. he failed a drug test and admitted to drinking. i endured much abuse in all those yrs. we have 3 children together. we are in the middle of a custody battle for the two younger ones. i left him 5 mos ago and went to a SAF house. now on my own with the two younger ones. i filed for a divorce in dec of 2009. i don't know how it works as far as separation or divorce. i have met someone. but there have been no intimate relations. if i chose to have intimate relations how would it affect my divorce? if i chose to have him move in...how would it affect my divorce? what are the laws governing this? if i got a copy of the filing for divorce... would it protect me? we own much assets including a business. how long does a divorce take when there was multiple abuse going on? i do have an order of protection even though he has violated it. but i cannot prove it. can you please enlighten me with some answers.


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Question #179: I was married in New York in 1999. We now live in Florida and are planning to divorce.
How do I file?, in Florida or do I have to do it in New York?

Thanks.



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Question #180: Do you need to get divorced in the same state you got married?


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Question #181: My wife and I got married in Niagara Falls, NY in April 2009. We never lived in NY state. She's a Canadian citizen and currently resides in Ontario, Canada. We lived together in Florida for 7 months, sharing an apartment. On Jan 11th 2010, she left for Canada and has no plans of returning. There is no chance of reconciliation. I want to file for divorce. Where do I file? Florida? I'm a resident of Florida. How difficult will it be since she's back in Canada?


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Question #182:

My wife and I were married in New York in 1986, and we currently live in White Plains. Our children are adults now. Our relationship has deteriorated and I want a divorce. We both have substantial assets that we have acquired during the course of our marriage, as such I anticipate a contested divorce. I have heard that from start to finish a contested divorce takes 3 or 4 years on average in New York state.

I do not want to deal with my wife for another 3 or 4 years.

On average, how long does it take from start to finish for a contested divorce case in New York state, where both spouses have acquired substantial assets during the marriage?


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Question #183: I have been separated from my wife now for a little over a year and I need a divorce decree or a legal separation asap in oder to have my mortgage modified and we live in New York state. We already have given and taken everything we want and there is no equity in our home and my son lives with me and I do not want or need child support. What is the quickest and cheapest way to get either or done thanks.


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Question #184: What can I do if I live in Florida and I want a divorce but was married in New York over 20 years ago and haven’t been together in over 20 years and don’t know where he is.


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Question #185: On June 25 a judge issued me a divorce. My lawer was their in place of me (am in military, reside in different state) I have yet to recieve paperwork. When should I expect it? What do I have to do to speed up this process?

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Question #186: We live in Western NY. My spouse is very controlling and mentally abusive. I want a divorce. We have come to a settlement agreement. Once the papers are filed how long will it be until one of us must move out of the house?


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Question #187: Hello To all
I was married in 1984. My husband and I were separated in 1988. We lost contact after that. We have 2 grown kids ages 25 and 22. We never heard from him again.
It’s been almost 23 years and my son found him living in PA. We both want a divorces .
My question to you is how do I start the procedure and how long will it take?


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Question #188: My boyfriend who has been separated from his wife for more than a year finally got his papers for a divorce last week. In the papers his bitter wife wrote inhuman and cruel treatment. (we all live in the state of New York Rochester to be exact) he's had enough with her and just wants to officially not be connected to her. Although he doesn’t agree with the reason he said he will sign it and mail it back to the divorce lawyer to get it over with. We don’t have money for a lawyer they have no kids no house no assets basically and the debt they had they split it in half and really have no ties. We have no knowledge of all this divorce terminology and called the same divorce lawyer who said he will not have to go to court and it will be an easy divorce. (I am unsure if he was looking at the interest of the divorcee or divorcer) anyway we want to get married eventually and was wondering if he needs to think twice about what he is about to sign especially if he doesn’t agree with it (will he go to jail for admitting inhuman and cruel treatment even though that is not the case?) is it really a clean divorce since they don’t have any ties? would it jeopardize him when he remarries in this same state? and is there even such thing as having a divorce and not even going to a court? how long does this usually take from when he does sign?

Sorry for all the questions we called a legal aide who said to go ahead and sign it there should not be a problem but I can’t help but to think there is another meaning to her (wife) ways and if she tried to trick him since she was holding out for so long and is upset he is moving on ? please help.


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Question #189: I was told that you answer questions about divorce. I would very much like your help. I was married in N.Y. State in May of 1998. We all still live there. The marriage produced 2 children. I have walked out on him due to an online extra-marital with a woman. We have gone to family court and we both have joint legal custody of the children. I have asked for a divorce but he has refused. I do not wish to change the custody arrangements. However, my question is: how may I secure a divorce as soon as possible? I was told by a friend it was possible to go to Reno, Nevada and receive one immediately without his signature. Is that doable? If not, how else can I obtain one asap? Thank you.


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Question #190:


I am an Afghan national. I live in Kabul, Afghanistan. In March 2007 I
was in New York City for an official trip on G4 visa - I used to work
for the World Bank. On March 3rd, 2007, I got married to my cousin who
is a US citizen and lives in NYC. We got married in the Office of The
City Clerk, NYC. A month after our marriage, I returned back to Kabul
and didn't see her until May 2009, but we had phone contacts. In May
2009 we met in Dubai and stayed together for a week. Then she went
back to US and I came to Kabul, but again we had some rare phone
contacts. I guess, during our stay in Dubai, she got pregnant and she
has a baby girl now. We both want (agree) to get divorce now, but the
problem is that I am no more working for the World Bank and I don't
have a US visa to go back to US to settle things down. We don't have
any financial dispute and I am happy with her keeping the baby. My
questions are: 1. How can we get a divorce? 2. Do I have to appear in
person in NYC to take care of the paperwork or my wife can do it
alone? 3. How long will it take to get divorce and how much it will
cost us? Can I hire a lawyer from here?

Thanks ever so much for your very kind support.



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Question #191: I was married Indiana and left my husband 3 years ago. I moved to New York and want to do the divorce myself. Can I do the divorce in New York?


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Question #192: My boyfriend and I have been together since 2000. I found out he is married. He moved in with me. His wife knew about me and called my home. He went back to her. They took a vacation together. He came back to me. They sold their marital home and split the money 50/ 50. He moved into an apartment. I moved in with him. They have not seen or spoken to each other in over ten years. She bought a new home. He bought a new home. What would the grounds for divorce be? I am under the impression that it could not be for adultery since she slept with him after she knew about me. How can divorce proceedings be started without him having to speak with her?


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Question #193: Currently, I'm living in NY for the past 18 months and we were married for almost 16 years and we have 14 year old son.

In 2006, during my stay at MI, I filed divorce case against my wife in India on the basis of Cruelty and abandonment. Finally my wife came here by taking 2 years leave from her job along with my son. She came here in the month of Apr 2007 and left to India in the month of May 2009 along with my son. She told that she will extend her leave from her job and come to USA soon. During this 2007 April - 2009 May period my son also studied 6th & 7th grade in Detroit.

Again she came here along with my son for 2 months i.e period between April, 2010 - June 2010 and left to India saying that she will come and join soon here in NY. But as soon as she left to India she was saying that she is not interested to come to USA and join with me. Also she asked me to file a mutual consent divorce in India. Then I engaged a lawyer in India for mutual consent divorce but now she is not responding. If she is not willing for mutual consent in India I need to wait for 2 years from June, 2010.

My questions:

1. can we file a divorce from NY on the basis of abandonment ?
2. she lived in NY with me for 2 months along with my son. and 2 years in Detroit between April, 2007 - May,2009. Still can we apply divorce from NY.??
3. She and my son had valid dependent VISA until Jan, 2011. ? when we can file divorce by latest ??
4. If at all, if we can file a divorce from NY what would be the total cost including attorney fee ?
5. what would be the best time to reach you and how ??

Some more information :

1. we were married in March, 1994 in India and we are Indian citizens and have 14 years son living with mother in India currently.
2. I'm ( 47 Years ) on H1-B Visa and have been living in NY, Long Island since Aug'2009 until today and prior to that I lived in MI from Feb 2005 to Aug 2009.
3. My wife ( 42 Years ) and son ( 14 Years ) has H4 Dependent Visa valid until Jan 2011, later can be extended for few more years.
4. My wife and son recently visited NY from April, 2010 - June 2010 ( 2 Months ) and left to India.
5. My wife and son lived with me in MI from April 2007 - May 2009 ( 2 Years )
6.My wife has valid NY Driving License, SSN, bank account and my son has TIN # and NY city identification card.
7. My wife is Doctorate Degree (PhD) Holder working as a scientist in a University until today.
8. We do not have any real estate or property ( joint/ individual ) either in USA or India.
9. She did not work here in USA and I'm the only person who supported the family here.
10. I do not need any visitation rights over my son and he is closely attached to her.
11. I just need a divorce without any encumbrance !!

I would appreciate your quick advise, so That i can contact you for further proceedings !!


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Question #194: We have been separated since 1992. We had drawn up papers for separation with allocation of property, child support, alimony etc but I don’t think they were ever filed with the court. I have faithfully lived up to what was on those papers in regards to property, alimony and child support. Our daughter has finished college now and we would like to file for divorce. The only thing left is her college tuition loan to work out. Can that be a sticking point in regards to finalizing a divorce? Also what do we have to file? I live in Texas now but she still lives in Suffolk County New York.


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Question #195: My husband of 3 years and I separated because of his infidelity. I have phone records, emails, etc as proof. We married and resided in NYC. If I sue him for divorce on the grounds that he committed adultery, what does that entitle me? We have no children and did not own a home or anything else together. Is there anything to gain by making this the reason we're divorcing, or is it the same if I just go the friendly route and claim irreconcilable differences? Please advise...


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Question #196: I'm an American and Italian Citizen....was born in Philadelphia Penn. and raised in Long Beach New York...I met my husband in Long Beach NY in 1990 and we got married in city hall in Long Beach New York on the 21st of September 1992...he abandoned me and my then two year old son on December of 1995, to go back to his country in Peru. I decided to come to Italy where my parents lived and live here with my child....I've been living here in Italy since my husband left me and my son in December of 95, so my son now is 18 years old and my husband is living in Milan Italy with his girlfriend....I really wish to get a divorce here but they say it's going to take 3 long years....can I go to the States and go to City hall in Long Beach to file for a divorce so I could have my divorce in a short time...? please help me and advise me what to do.....if I need to go to Long Beach New York to file for a divorce and I know it will be sooner than here in Italy...I will do so....waiting for your reply....as soon as possible.


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Question #197: My husband and I have been married for 15 yrs. married in NYS ,, moved to FL for 7 yrs. we split in July of 2010 and he moved back to NY. come July 2011 he will be a NY resident for 1 yr.,, I stayed in FL for 3 mos. and have been visiting in UK since Sept. 2010, will be returning to NY this month. I see requirements for filing for divorce is one partner must be a resident of NY for 1 yr. before filing. this will be uncontested with no assets and no children. he claims to be filing come the one year residency. can u tell me how long a divorce will take to finalize from that point? I can't seem to find any answers to my question and spouse will not talk to me.
Thank you for your time.


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Question #198: My friends were born and married in Ireland. They have been separated for 20 years now and one of them has lived in New York and become a “Green Card” resident.
How does the N.Y. resident get a divorce from the spouse left in Ireland? Do they both have to agree, or since it has been so long, is it a paperwork only situation?
My friend in N.Y. wants the divorce, but the friend in Ireland has not been willing to sign papers. Complicated I know, but I believe there is an answer somewhere.

Thank you.


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Question #199: My wife and i were married 29 years ago and separated 26 years ago never filed taxes together or any legal documents that state that other than a lost marriage license do we still have to go through all that expensive divorce nonsense or is there something else we can do?
.

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Question #200: Hello, I live in Brooklyn New York...I have been married for7 and a half years..and my husband( 60 yrs.) and I ( 59 yrs.) both agree that we should get a divorce...sex and conversation is the big issue here with us.
out of the 7 yr. marriage we have had sex with each other less then 15 times, in this 7 and a half years..I'm the one that needs the sex more then that, and my husband agrees with me also..Plus he always falls asleep on me when I'm talking to him..
Is it alright for use to live together while getting a divorce?
We get along better as friends..we both agree.
Please help us...
Thank You.


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Question #201: Hello, I live in Brooklyn New York...I have been married for7 and a half years..and my husband( 60 yrs.) and I ( 59 yrs.) both agree that we should get a divorce...sex and conversation is the big issue here with us.
out of the 7 yr. marriage we have had sex with each other less then 15 times, in this 7 and a half years..I'm the one that needs the sex more then that, and my husband agrees with me also..Plus he always falls asleep on me when I'm talking to him..
Is it alright for use to live together while getting a divorce?
We get along better as friends..we both agree.
Please help us...
Thank You.


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Question #202: My boyfriend has been separated from his wife for about 2yrs. He tried to file for divorce in Orlando because that is where they renewed their vows. The grounds for divorce are cheating on her behalf.
When given documentation she refuses to sign. There is no property involved and they have 2 children together.
Question…Since he was originally married in the state of New York can he file for divorce here in NYC ? He has recently relocated back to NYC.
Thank you.

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Question #203: My boyfriend has been separated from his wife for about 2yrs. He tried to file for divorce in Orlando because that is where they renewed their vows. The grounds for divorce are cheating on her behalf.
When given documentation she refuses to sign. There is no property involved and they have 2 children together.
Question…Since he was originally married in the state of New York can he file for divorce here in NYC ? He has recently relocated back to NYC.
Thank you.

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Question #204: My boyfriend has been separated from his wife for about 2yrs. He tried to file for divorce in Orlando because that is where they renewed their vows. The grounds for divorce are cheating on her behalf.
When given documentation she refuses to sign. There is no property involved and they have 2 children together.
Question…Since he was originally married in the state of New York can he file for divorce here in NYC ? He has recently relocated back to NYC.
Thank you.

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Question #205: good evening. I have a question about divorce. my situation is: 5 years ago I had been marriage to girl( she was from Israel) in NYC, than we have a son( he is an American citizen), we lived together like 2 years and then she took our son and came back to Israel. she doesn’t want to speak with me. we are not communication at all. now when i want to get divorce, she doesn‘t want to sign any papers. she not pick up the phone when I’m calling and ignoring me. I don’t know what to do?? she cannot give me a divorce like 2-3 years, because we are not speaking. she try to give me a hard time. I need to wait until she definitely decided to gave me a divorce??? I want to get marriage again, I’m in rush. I will be very happy if you will answer me.


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Question #206: Good morning, if you get married in Las Vegas, Nevada, but live in New York,
what would be the easiest way to get a Divorced ?
There is nothing to split up, No home, No money, No children, etc.
Please advise



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Question #207: I was married for 26 years in New York and we both signed a separation agreement in NY. I have since moved to Maryland and he is going to North Carolina. Our attorney's are in New York. Can we still file in NY without an address there? Is there a time limit from the time you moved to filing for a divorce in the state where you were married for 26 years? Thank you.


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Question #208: I was married for almost 13 years in NY. We were Legally Separated in August 2007. We both now own our own houses, visitation for children all have been working well for the last 4 years, and he pays child support directly to me. I want to finalize the divorce and just get this done with. What do I need to do to get the divorce finalized? So I need a lawyer to do this? I can't really afford to pay high attorney fees, since everything has been worked out for all these years I'm not sure if anything else needs to be done other than just get it done.

thank you


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Question #209: Please tell me what can be done in my sad situation: Hi, name is Anna, I have a question to ask, I’m with a mature gentleman who’s legally married but separated. He told me he’d rather send legal wife her money because he feels threaten that she is going to take him to the poor house because he receives his veteran’s check, social security and job pension, and that’s the real reason why he cannot divorce her.
He lives in Puerto Rico, and his wife lives in Buffalo New York. Note: They never had children together, I live in New York City, and he has been separated from her a very long time. Before me he formulated another relationship after his separation, and all the while he remained married paying alimony.
My concern is I talked to him about why he should divorce because she has eight adult children of her own from a previous marriage; he married her for her religious reasons when he fell in love with her. He doesn’t own any real estate property that I’m aware of, and now his legal wife receives social security because she is also a mature lady plus alimony. I’m not a home wrecker; their marriage dissolved way before I came into the picture. And now they live miles away from each other for several years.
I told him find a lawyer in Puerto Rico or here to help because I don’t want to be the other woman, I want to be the new legal wife.
When he was living in Buffalo New York, before moving to Puerto Rico, he fell seriously ill with a heart problem and was hospitalized, his back then common law wife if you will, couldn’t stay at the hospital to be by his bedside because his separated “wife” after learning what happened to him showed up, declaring her status as being his wife, she showed proof, therefore stopping anyone she didn’t want there from seeing him, while the “wife” did nothing for him but get her alimony money. That's not right but it proves that the title "wife" carries a lot of weight.
I don’t want that, he said that a judgment was passed for legal separation by a judge, and that he has to support her whether he likes it or not, and a divorce is impossible, but he never showed me any paperwork proof, etc., stating or proving that it’s true…seeing is believing, but I decided that if he doesn’t want to get a divorce because he is scared of losing more money to her and that it is an uncomfortable, complicated, costly process for him, I’m not going to press on insisting, I know when no means no, and I’ll leave it alone. And I assume that he doesn’t love me enough to get a divorce, and I will pursue to have a new relationship with a man who is not married or legally divorce with papers to prove it so I don't have to write to no lawyer. I know that Ex-New York State Governor Paterson signed a revised divorce order perhaps that can hopefully change things.
She’s tossed in Buffalo, he’s retired and lives in Puerto Rico going on four years over there, I can’t understand why he can’t divorce? I suppose she would have to pay a lawyer if she wants to contest. I believe that he can get a divorce if he wants to being they don’t live in the same place but you know more than me in the material. I hope you can give me some good news. Thank you and good day.


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Question #210: Hi,

My husband and I were married in Massachusetts 9 years ago. Up until recently, we lived in California for the past 4 years.

My husband has moved to NY. I am still in California.

Can/when can I file for divorce in NY?



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Question #211: Hi,

My husband and I were married in Massachusetts 9 years ago. Up until recently, we lived in California for the past 4 years.

My husband has moved to NY. I am still in California.

Can/when can I file for divorce in NY?



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Question #212: Hi..I got married in Illinois and now live in NY. we own property in Illinois. Can I file for divorce here in NY?


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Question #213: My wife recently informed me she would like to separate and subsequently asked me to move out. I have been living in the house we just bought for the past 2 weeks with no heat or hot water but is in my name only. I have been renovating this house for 6 months. Now I'm living in construction. She also just told me she wants to end the marriage. I have an inheritance coming to me from my deceased mother of 10 years and my father who just passed this summer. Is any of the inheritance considered marital assets ? Can she take any of it ? Most of it is in an inheritance IRA and some in bonds and cash. I live in Nassau County NY.


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Question #214: My husband and I were married in Jamaica seven years ago. We live in New York State. We purchased a home together with his name on the deed and mine is not. I want a divorce due to emotional, verbal, and you physical abuse. He threatens our marriage is not legit due to emotional out of country and because my name is not on the deed that I will not be entitled to the house and/ or any portion of it and any monies that are put into his 401K and other retirement savings. Is this true? His earnings far exceed mine by 2/3. We do not have no children together and I have a 20 year and old in college . Thank you so much for your help.


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Question #215: Hello there; I have a question for you,
I am married and looking to file for divorce but will be leaving the state in a few months I am active duty Army and met and married my wife in Arizona can I file in the state of New York? I have resided in New York since 2009 or do I have to file in Arizona? She is currently living back in Arizona. please email me back with the correct information please.


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Question #216:
My husband and I have beenn married for 4+ years ( no children together)
We have reached a placed that we are both very unhappy and I do not see us
reconciling or working out our difference. However my husband refuses to
give a divorce or move out (I rent an apartment from my parents)
and I'm not sure if he would consider a separation. I would like
to use your mediation services to bring an end to this ongoing nightmare.
please advise the cost and if evening or weekend appointments are availbale.



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Question #217: I have been married six months and with my partner for a total of a year and 4 months. He just told me he doesn't want to have children, a discussion we had before we got married. We made a life plan that he is reneging on. Is this ground for an annulment. We were married in New York State, I'm American, he's Spanish. We live in Abu Dhabi. I want this to be cheap, quick and painless.

Thanks!



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Question #218: Hi,
I have a friend who has been married for 8 years. He wants to divorce his wife. He's just not happy with her anymore. They have two children together and he by no means wants to loose his children. The wife refuses to sign the divorce papers. What are his options?


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Question #219: Living in PA. I filed for divorce over two years ago. My wife bought me out of house. We agreed if she paid me 20,000 she could have house. So she went and got a bank loan and I signed off on the house. She is now sole owner. But as far as the marriage, nothing has been done. She wants to remarry. Is that against the law. Does paperwork need to be signed even though I'm the one that filed.


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Question #220: I married my husband in the summer of 2009. We separated after 5 months of being married. We never legally separated but it has been almost 3 years now and no divorce. I filed for a divorce last June with a lawyer I thought to be legit, I paid him $1000 and signed some papers. My husband NEVER got the papers the so called lawyer told me he was going to sent him and I NEVER got an index number (which I learned recently I needed to obtain one)... I thought the divorce would have been done by now. I called the "Lawyer" and the number has been disconnected. I wrote an e-mail and I would get a post master in return saying that e-mail doesn't exist and finally I went to his "Office" and it was one of those rental offices in fancy Park Ave and 5th NO ONE has seen him or heard from him in MONTHS. I called the County Clerk in the Bronx and no one can give me any information.

Thinking that the divorce was in process I have moved to Puerto Rico in October, My husband is in New York City. I had to make a new life out here but with this marriage is tying me down. Can I still try to get a divorce while living in Puerto Rico even though I was married in NYC?



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Question #221: Hello! I currently live in Connecticut, but I was married to a same sex partner in New York, where she currently lives as well. Do I file for an annulment in New York or Connecticut? Thanks!


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Question #222: After googling I came across this site and I could definitely use some assistance. My husband and I married a year ago after knowing each other a very short while. Soon after our marriage we realized it was a big mistake. We talked about divorcing in Dec 2011 a month after our wedding. A month later we found out we were pregnant. We attempted to make our marriage work without success and in April 2012 I moved out. We've been separated since and I’m the primary caregiver of our child. My husband and I have agreed to go forth with an uncontested divorce. Is there a time frame that must be waited to file for a divorce? Also how long is a typical uncontested divorce process take to finalize?


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Question #223: I was married in New York, April 2003,we split up in August 2003.she lives in Atlanta and has been in GA since our union. I came back to New York and went on with my life and she hers, We have no children together and don't want anything from one another. it been 10yrs apart are we still married is there a time limit.
Leonard Weiner, Esq/Divorce Solutions



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Question #224:
We were married 1982, Nassau Co., NY; have lived in Germany over 25 years. Been living separated for over a year, but have no written separation agreement. Neither of us have filed for divorce. If we did, which law would we be divorced under? Since we do not reside in NY I would think German law for the divorce proceedings. Would the proceedings, filings, papers, etc. have to be sent to NY for filing or just the final divorce decree? Would NY law (equitable distribution) determine what happens to assets/liabilities, real property, etc? If we were to agree on the division of assets/liabilities and they were uneven, but agreeable to us both, would a lawyer/court accept and honor that?



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Question #225:
MARRIED IN NJ LIVING I NJ FOR A YEAR. i HAVE BEEN WORKING IN mANHATHAN FOR 15 YEARS AND 14 YEARS LIVING IN QUEENS. CAN I FILE FOR DIVORCE IN NY?




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Question #226:
MARRIED IN NJ LIVING I NJ FOR A YEAR. i HAVE BEEN WORKING IN mANHATHAN FOR 15 YEARS AND 14 YEARS LIVING IN QUEENS. CAN I FILE FOR DIVORCE IN NY?




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