Primarily servicing the greater New York City metropolitan area



LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.
DIVORCE SOLUTIONS
206 East 38th Street
New York, N.Y. 10016
(212) 370-1660

FINANCIAL ISSUES - MARITAL PROPERTY V. SEPARATE PROPERTY

Question #1: I am separated for 2+ yrs. wife filed for divorce 1 yr. after sep. Have bought a car after the filing. is she entitled to it. Please advise.

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Question #2: I am living in New York City (Brooklyn). I need to know my rights for a legal separation. I would need to move out of the home I am currently sharing with my husband and 2 daughters 2 and 7 yrs. I would like to take my daughters with me and the furniture I acquired before I was married or had children. I am also contemplating relocating to another State with the kids but I do not know the laws of separation in New York. In addition, I am concern that due to my earnings being more than my spouse will I be responsible to pay support to my husband. If I later file for divorce will he be entitled to any assets I acquire after the separation (i.e. 401k, savings etc.)

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Question #3: After 4 years I have finally been granted a divorce in NJ. The Judgment states that we will split our marital assets 50/50, including 401K's, Pensions, and IRA's. Since my ex made more money than I, he has more money in his 401K's, etc. I contend that I should get some type of return on the money, which was calculated in 1995, when we separated. He contends that since the Judgment doesn't say anything about interest, I shouldn't get any interest or return on the investment whatsoever. My contention is that he has had the benefit of the money since our separation in '95, and my money was frozen. HELP! I go back to court on 7/26, without an attorney since I can't afford one. My ex is still represented and his attorney said that I should just accept the QDRO without interest and be happy. I'm not happy, but should I just accept it or fight for my rights to interest (if I have the right to ask for interest).

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Question #4: Would assets acquired after being granted a legal separation still be considered jointly held marital assets?

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Question #5: I have been married for six months and now I want to divorce. I own 2 New York City yellow cab medallions, which I bought four years ago. Could my wife ask for part of those medallions? Is there any other way than divorce?

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Question #6: We reside in Upstate NY and think we can separate amicably. We have one 14 y/o daughter. But...neither of us want to leave the house. I know with $30M income, I could not afford to live on my own.. Can you be legally separated and reside in the same house? We have been married 28 years. Also, he feels he owes me nothing (alimony). I have worked since I was 17. We want joint custody of our daughter, but my question, I want the house...what are my chances???? Thanks.

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Question #7: My husband and I live in NY, and have been married for 5 1/2 years. We married 2 years after I divorced my first husband. There is no abuse or adultery involved, we simply have no reason to stay married. We have nothing in common, nothing to talk about and have not had marital relations since Jan of 1998. We also occupy separate bedrooms. I want to institute a legal separation or divorce, but he simply doesn't want to discuss it and just ignores the entire situation. Our conversations are limited to "good morning" and "good night" most days. In NY do I have other than to move to another state for a year and file for a no fault divorce outside of NY jurisdiction? We have a mortgage together, if I choose to move can I be held liable for mortgage payments even if I don't want any part of the value of the house? I also have a large inheritance from my mom which is in trust until my 40th birthday, can this inheritance be protected? We also work for the same company, can he trash me in my workplace to my coworkers and managers at will? I have no desire to harm him in any way, I want nothing from him. I just feel as if I've been sentenced to live imprisonment, and I need to get out. The longer we are together, the more resentment I feel towards him and I want that to be over.

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Question #8: My best friend lives in TN. Her husband has committed adultery and wants a divorce. My friends lawyer told her that adultery was no big deal in TN and that basically he would get half of her horse farm because that is the way it is done in TN. I told her to find herself another lawyer, that this one she went to is full of shit. What do you think? Thanks.

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Question #9: I am not married, however, my boyfriend and I own a house together. We are both on the mortgage and on the title of the house. If we were to break up, and we wanted to take my name off the mortgage etc.., and replace my name with his parents, what exactly would this involve? Would we have to completely re-mortgage, or is there a simpler way??

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Question #10: I live in NYS and have been married for almost 8 years. We have no children. My husband and I went to marriage counseling but after a few visits my husband said he does not think that the marriage will work. We have stopped therapy and now occupy the same house in separate rooms. We always shared expenses for the house even though my husband has always earned more money. If we seek divorce, will he be able to walk away from the marriage without compensating me financially? I don't expect to receive alimony and I want to stay in the house we bought together. Is he financially responsible towards me in any way so that I can afford to stay in my home? Thank You.

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Question #11: I believe a divorce is imminent. I live in New Jersey. I have worked very hard since the day I am married. I earn a salary that varies from year to year. I earn from 25% less to 25% more than him. I don't think it's fair that now that I'm 56 and ready to retire and have a job that's not a sure thing, I will probably get nothing. I worked until the day I had my first baby to pay for his flight lessons. Does this make a difference. He will retire in five years with a great pension. I have a 40lK worth about a third of what his is.

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Question #12: My wife and I gifted each of our three adult children a sum of money. One of the children has been served recently with divorce papers by his wife. His gift from his mother and I had been is invested in mutual funds. The account ,as I understand it ,is a joint tenant type of account with his wife's name on it as well as his own. My question is :can his wife receive, in the settlement, a part of that gift which we gave our son during the marriage? So. Dakota. is the state of residency. Thank you .

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Question #13: I am curious about what the typical division of student debt is upon divorce. As an example, I have a friend who's husband will soon be finishing medical school and residency. She is seeking a divorce. Their total debt is on the order of $250,000, the vast majority of which is student debt. She has been working to pay family bills during the last two years he has been in school; prior to that, she was not working. She has also borrowed from her family to support them. They live in California. They have one child and no significant assets. Some of the money borrowed was for the direct costs of his education, and some of it was to support the family while he was in school. What can she expect in terms of division of this debt when they are divorced? Also, if he assumes the debt in the divorce settlement, are there steps she can take to remove herself from liability for the debts in case he defaults? Thanks

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Question #14: If I put my husband's name on the title to a house that was mine prior to our marriage is he entitled to 1/2 or more if I am at fault for the divorce?

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Question #15: I want to know what will be the outcome if I divorce. My husband has been the main provider of the family for the last 6 years. I only work 15 hours a week just to keep my skills up. We have a 18 month daughter and if we divorce I really wish not to return to the workforce full time so I can spend the important years with my daughter. Is my husband required to provide any alimony to me in this case? And as far as what am I entitled percentage-wise?. Is it 50% of everything? He is a partner in a business; what kind of benefits can I get from him there? As far as health insurance, his work provides that for us now .Will he still be required to do that until the divorce is final or until a certain time period? On an average, how long do divorce proceedings take? One last question. If I were to separate and live with another male, would that in any way hinder my benefits?

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Question #16: I am currently separated from my spouse and going through the divorce process. My husband is seeking $8,000 and wants me to refinance our home. In addition, my husband does not want me to make claim to his 401k. My question is do I have to refinance our home in my name and if so what is the process. Sometimes, I feel that my attorney is not working in my better interest. My spouse and I have two children, and I want to retain full custody instead of joint custody. Do I need to establish that my spouse is unfit as parental guidance?

Need help!


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Question #17: I have been advised that, in NY, I would be entitled to a portion of the retirement assets (pension plan or 401(k) assets) accumulated by my husband during our marriage. Is there a standard formula used to determine our respective shares? Am I correct in assuming he would also be entitled to a portion of the funds I accumulated in my 401K plan too?

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Question #18: Question about financial matters in a divorce.

I have done a few contract jobs intermingled with some permanent status employee type jobs. The contract jobs paid very high figures. I have been separated for about 3 years now.

Is it necessary to show tax forms to her lawyer - this may precipitate jealously and a tackling of what may be perceived as more money that could have been given to her during the separation.

Please advise. Thank you .


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Question #19: After a 17 year marriage all assets we own have been accumulated during those years. Do I the husband have any legal claim to a portion of my wife's corporation?

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Question #20: My wife is our main source of income and has been for the past 12 years of our 17 year marriage. Now that the marriage has come to an end she feels since she does make a much larger income then I that she should keep the majority of our assets. I believe it should be an even split because everything we have has been accumulated during our joint lives. Since I am in somewhat of a role reversal I am also curious how the courts in the state of Ohio would view this situation. Also would I be out of line asking for child support or spousal support.

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Question #21: Why does my wife get one half of my net income for support, when she earns two thirds of what I do????

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Question #22: My husband and I have been married for 16 years and have lived in the state of Minnesota for the past three years. I am planning on filing for divorce and have a question regarding his pension from the military. He retired after 19 years in the service (13 of which we were married) and he receives a monthly retirement check. Do I have any legal right to half of his pension after we are divorced? I know Minnesota is a community property state but would his pension come under this? He is 41 and will receive it for quite few more years. Thank you.

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Question #23: After twenty-six years of marriage, my wife and I are getting a "no-fault" divorce in the state of Massachusetts.

My wife stands to inherit approximately $200,000 in cash reserves from her parents.

Also, within a few years, she will be appointed as a trustee to her uncle's trust, where she currently stands to receive a beneficial interest. Said trust is worth approximately $5,000,000. Her uncle and aunt have no children.

What consideration, if any, will the courts give to these two factors, when determining the "opportunity of each for future acquisition of capital assets and income"?


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Question #24: I have been divorced since Dec 94, in Texas. As part of the divorce document my ex-husband agreed to pay me $8000 per year towards furthering my education, due on June 1st of each yr - for 4 yrs. He has not paid me any money and said he won't. Even though he agreed at the time he wanted to help me go back to college. He says he does not have the money, but he is a professor and makes a good salary, he could get a loan I'm sure. I helped put him through college, BS, MA, PhD, etc. How can I get this money from him? Without having a full-fledged court battle? Any advice would be appreciated.

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Question #25: My husband and I were married in March of 1997, in California. He is currently in the military and we are stationed in Illinois. We are looking at getting a divorce. Mainly the problem is that he has been abusive to me, both mentally and physically. I am not sure what to do at this point and I feel that at this time I'm going to be the one to start the divorce. I have no idea what the laws are in this state and I am looking to move out of the house. I have no job to support the bills that he claims are all mine, which aren't, they're joint. The problem is that they are in my name and he is on the accounts as an authorized user. I don't think that he would be willing to help me out and he doesn't see that he has done anything wrong. He thinks it's all my fault. Help!

Any information would be helpful at this point .


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Question #26: My wife's father gave her some shares of stock. Before we got married, we put the stock in both our names. I had some money and added it to that account. Now, my wife tells me that in the case of a divorce, I am not entitled to any of her stock because it was a gift from her father. I know it is not an inheritance because her father is not dead! I am in New Mexico. We used that account to live on in times of need. Yet, we never sold one share of the stock her dad had given her. Now that the money I put into that account is extinguished, can my wife still claim that in the case of a divorce that I have no right to the money even though the account is in both our names. The account says She "or" Me (the "or" clause and not the "and" clause). Also, once we started having problems she started writing checks fast and furiously. If we ever do settle, am I entitled to the money she so furiously spent, or am I just entitled to just what is left in the account (if anything is left)?

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Question #27: My husband and I are separated. He left after I called 911 on him for domestic violence. We have a temporary legal separation agreement in which he pays child support and half the mortgage. He is now finishing a software product that could make a great deal of money. He has been working on it for over a year, and drained everything we ever had to get it to this point. He "owns" 51% of this software program. Do I have any hope of getting half of this product's income? Or half of the "title" to it? He left us in very poor economic conditions.

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Question #28: Last August my husband and I bought a trailer together. I traded in my old mobile home in as the down payment. His son moved in with us in November. During a fight I told him to leave and he refuses. Since he has a child and I have two children can I force him out until the divorce is final and the ruling is made on who will take over the home?

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Question #29: She has bills that are in her name, and I have bills that are in my name, and then we have some bills that are in both names. Am I responsible for all the bills, or just the ones that are in my name and in both names.( I know the bills that are in both names, I must contribute half,) live in NY...Also, if we get a separation, can I still have her on my medical insurance?

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Question #30: We own a home, am I entitled to half of the value, of the home..? When I first married her the deed was in her name from a previous marriage; since then we took out a second mortgage, and both names are on the deed. Since I contributed towards the repayment and house hold repairs, can I still claim half the value of the house. The house is in upstate NY... thank you

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Question #31: I am getting a divorce the month after retirement, after 19 yrs of marriage Is there any way to keep her from getting 1/2 my retirement and if she elects SBP will this be taken from her half of my retainer pay?

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Question #32: I have been separated since Nov. 97. I have the car that we purchased during the marriage. I have paid exactly 1/2 of the payments each month. The remaining furniture left in the house is community property. All of it was purchased during the marriage. However, my husband is not going to allow me to take anything else out of the house. What are my legal rights to this property?

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Question #33: My friend has been married 10 months. He has decided after trying marriage counseling that he doesn't want to continue in this marriage. The problem is, he owns his own business and doesn't want to lose it to his wife... He has asked his wife to leave and she will not... These problems have been going on since the first day of the marriage. Does he have any recourse? What are the criteria for annulment? Thanks

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Question #34: I am interested in seeking a divorce (Texas) against my husband who was recently incarcerated for Investment Fraud (2 year sentence). Are there any rights/provisions/laws which will enable me to request and RECEIVE child support orders now (even though it is obvious he cannot currently pay monthly support payments) so that the ordered support will ACCRUE while he is in jail?

My husband committed a crime . . . the children and I did not. Why should WE be penalized for HIS wrongdoing while he is imprisoned? He gets "three hots and a cot" and watches cable TV all day long. I on the other hand, am trying to work to support our 2 small children (as well as put my other son through college) AND finish my degree as well as mend from my husband's financial and emotional injury to our marriage and family. His forte' in life is sales and easily makes hundreds of thousands of dollars annually so ANY amount of accrued support would be a drop-in-the-bucket for him.


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Question #35: Is computer software considered intellectual property, and is it treated the same as other property that is divided at the end of a marriage?

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Question #36: In New York State , if the wife has not been a wife in the legal or moral sense, can this be considered like the reverse of palimony? and does she have any claims for alimony or my pension?

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Question #37: DOES MY WIFE HAVE THE RIGHT TO KEEP MY NAME ON THE MORTAGE AFTER WE ARE DIVORCED? WE LIVE IN VERMONT.

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Question #38: MY DAUGHTER FILED FOR A DIVORCE, HER HUBSAND BOUGHT A CAR WITHIN A WEEK OR TWO BEFORE OR AFTER THEY GOT MARRIED, NOW HE PUT THE CAR IN HIS FATHERS NAME SO HE DOSEN'T HAVE TO SELL IT AND SPLIT THE MONEY WITH HER. THIS IS HIS EXTRA CAR WHAT CAN SHE DO, A CONCERNED FATHER.

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Question #39: Is New York State a community property state?

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Question #40: My husband and I are divorcing after 20 years of marriage and 3 of separation. We have two children in college who live with me. We own a home for which we owe over 75% of the value. Our financial agreement during the separation has been that he pays the mortgage while I pay all other bills. We both contribute towards our children's' college educations. Since I worked to support the family while my husband completed college and graduate school, could his professional degrees be considered part of the marital assets? Would I be entitled to receive alimony for any extended period of time? He makes double what I make. Also, there is a lien on our home due to taxes he did not pay - will I be able to work out a divorce settlement which would include his assuming total responsibility for the tax lien, thereby allowing me to refinance the home?

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Question #41: My husband and I reside in Atlanta GA and have been married 20 months. We have a 10 month old infant. We have decided that the marriage was a mistake and want to end it now while we can still be friends and raise our child without ill-feelings. My understanding is that there is no "legal" separation in Georgia, so I'm seeking advice on how best to continue running the household financially if he moves out while we settle things (our current set up is he pays certain household bills and I pay others). The second area of questions has to do with a divorce in Georgia ... what should I expect (reasonably) in a divorce settlement? And what might I expect in terms of custody arrangements (assuming I retain custody)?

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Question #42: My husband wants a divorce after being together 21 years, married 18 years. He wants to remain friends and has asked me to file for divorce. I'm in California and he has recently moved to Ohio. We have one son in his senior year of high school and wants to go to college. I do not work and have stayed home to raise my family during most of our marriage. I have started college, which I have paid for by working on the college campus. My husband closed our joint accounts a few years back and put it in an account in Prague. I have a letter from his mother stating the amount deposited but it is written in Czech and I can't read it. I have property I bought before our marriage which he has paid for improvements. What he wants to do is this, I keep the property, which has an old mobile home on it, and he keeps the money in Europe,(according to the letter is, $112.459,47, vezmi) his ESIP which was $78,928.27 on Dec. 96,profit sharing about $113,000. on Dec. 96, his IRA about $28,000. and various stocks. My husband thinks this is fair, this is what he has worked for. He has made the remark in the past that he could always leave the Country and I won't have anything. I know I haven't worked much during the 21 years we've been together, but this just doesn't seem fair. How do I determine alimony? Can I ask for child support until our son finishes college? How can I determine what is fare? I haven't any money saved and can't pay for an attorney. My husband also said that if we have to use attorneys, the one who can afford the best will come out the best. He is anxious to get things moving NOW! I have the "EZ Legal Software for Divorce" now what should I do?

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Question #43: I am from ND. I inherited a farm from my dad. Will this be divided as property held together or will my inheritance be kept separated from our mutual holdings?

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Question #44: Married in Texas (10/28/95)...Live in Texas (~15 yrs.).......2 kids (live with us).....1 house.....2 cars....1 boat...

We are still together for the time being, but I intend to leave soon. Will the house be ordered up for sale? Thanx for your time and help.


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Question #45: My wife takes care of most of our financials and has diversified our funds. She has a much better understanding where our money is invested. Is there any way to find out where all my funds are and how much I have saved without letting her know? Can the money be tracked by social security number or by some other means?

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Question #46: Do you do out of state work? Vermont is the state. If so, how is cost determined? How long would you say the process you offer takes? Would you send additional information by mail?

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Question #47: I am not sure if this is in your department. A friend of mine has been separated from her husband for over 1 year now. She claims that her husband owes her a substantial amount of money which was given to him over their 15 years of marriage. Some of the money helped him with his business and buy a car. Also, much of the money given to him came out of savings bonds. Her husband on the other hand feels he owes her nothing (or at least not the amount she thinks) and has not offered to give her anything since their separation. I'm not up on the law, but I assumed that if she had receipts for these transactions that she could go to court or settle out of court for the amount she is claiming. Is this correct? But the other problem is that she does not have all the transaction receipts. She feels entitled to receive even have of the amount she claims. What does the law say? What should she do? She doesn't think she can afford to take this matter to court and is thinking about not challenging it...just cutting her losses. I have already suggested talking to a lawyer but what else can I tell her.

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Question #48: My father passed away last year. I was left some money. Would this money be included in my divorce or was it just left to me?

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Question #49: Is New York State a community property state?

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Question #50: In my divorce decree 19 yrs. ago there was no mention of my husband's pension. Husband didn't want me to go to court and I obeyed (I know, no longer naive). He recently retired and has a good pension, 401K and a new job. I feel that with all the years I spent raising the kids and not progressing in the workplace, that I'm due at least part of the pension that would have been contributed to during the years we were married when he worked at that establishment. I've asked for the pension plan, but not yet received it.

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Question #51: If a couple live together for a number of years and then formally marry and then divorce after one year of marriage, is the marital property calculated for the entire period in which their living together for only for one year which they had a formal licensed?

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Question #52: How much would it cost to go through the adversarial system?

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Question #53: How much would the adversarial process cost if the case went to trial and how much would DIVORCE SOLUTIONS charge?

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Question #54: Can divorce settlements to be paid on a monthly basis for a period of time?

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Question #55: I do not have the financial resources to conduct discovery to find my husband's hidden assets; how do I discover these hidden assets without extensive financial expenses?

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Question #56: My husband has a piece of real estate which I have asked them to deed over to me to secure the payment of any settlement arrangement, but he has refused. What can I do?

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Question #57: What recourse do I have if after my spouse and I arrive at a settlement, he reneges?

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Question #58: Question: Re: California Community property laws. I purchased two homes prior to marriage. & also owned one business approx 15 years prior to marriage. All titles have remained in my name & during the past six years of marriage. NO mortgage payments, taxes, repairs, or even utilities have been made by my spouse. If divorce were to take place would these properties be considered my separate properties?

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Question #59: I've been married for 8 yrs and now I want to file for divorce and move out of state. I haven't really worked much in the years we have been married; there are no kids involved and we rent our home. He makes over 100 thousand a year but tells me I will leave with what I came in to the marriage with, is this a true statement? I'm very much alone in this and I know I will need some sort of support for a short period of time. Also can he cut me out of his medical insurance once there is a legal separation? Help!! I'm really lost. Thank you.

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Question #60: MY WIFE AND I SEPARATED A YEAR AGO,HAVE 4 CHILDREN RANGING IN AGE FROM 9 TO 17,AND HAVE BOTH NAMES ON THE DEED TO OUR HOME VALUED AT $500,000.I EARN APPROXIMATELY $230,00/YEAR,MY WIFE WORKS PART TIME EARNING $15,000/YEAR AS A TEACHING ASSISTANT. SHE GAVE UP HER CAREER TO TAKE CARE OF THE CHILDREN 18 YEARS AGO. MY QUESTIONS ARE;1. HOW WILL CHILD SUPPORT BE DETERMINED,WILL HER SALARY ENTER INTO IT.2. AM I OBLIGATED TO PROVIDE SPOUSAL SUPPORT,IF SO INDEFINETLY OR UNTIL SHE CAN BECOME FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT.MOST IMPORTANTLY THE DISPOSITION OF THE HOUSE:IS THE MAINTENANCE AND SUPPORT OF THE HOUSE SEPARATE FROM CHILD OR SPOUSAL SUPPORT.CAN I FORCE HER TO SELL IT,OR AM I OBLIGATED TO MAINTAIN HER IN THE HOME AS CUSTODIAL PARENT UNTIL MY CHILDREN REACH LEGAL AGE.

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Question #61: After one year of marriage, my wife committed adultery and wants a divorce. We have no children. We own a house together that has no equity in it as I used a VA loan with no-money down. I understand that she has no sufficient grounds for divorce.We are selling the house, and as it turns out it will be a fairly hefty profit. Since I believe that her contribution to the marriage was minimal, being that she only paid her half of the mortgage, and I paid all other bills, and substantial home improvement costs, is there any advantage to delaying the separation agreement until after the sale of the house. Certainly she's entitled to some money, but I really don't want to give her half of the profit. It doesn't seem very equitable to me. What should I do?

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Question #62: My state of residence is NY. After many years of living apart have finally taken the steps and have a legal separation with the goal of the divorce being finalized at the end of the year. My question is, I would like to purchase a new home joint with another person. Since I am only in the separation stage my partner fears that if something should happen to me, my "almost ex-spouse" would have claims on this home. Is this true? If so what other options are there besides waiting until the divorce is final.Thank you

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Question #63: After 20 yrs of marriage and 2 children (ages 12 & 7) my husband wants a divorce. I have not worked outside the home since my 12 yr old was born. I know NYS allows 25% of my husband's income for child support, but I would like to know if I can collect money in addition to that. Is it reasonable to expect my husband to pay the mortgage while my children and I live in the house and if so, is this usually only done until the children are 18? I also would like to receive part of his profit sharing account, stock option account and retirement account and can I receive part of the future value that will go into these accounts? Can I obtain full ownership of the house and give up my right to the retirement plan? I have no college degree and worked while he completed college and went on to get his Master Degree. Thank you.

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Question #64: I have been married since September 2000 and live in New York. No children. My husband and I are thinking of separating due to the fact that we just cannot get along. I have owned a house since 1990 and the deed and mortgage is in my name only. I also have my elderly parents living with me and help support them at times. My question is, will my husband be entitled to half of the house? He is telling me that I am not entitled to any of his pension because we would have to be married at least seven years. Also, I took out an equity loan to pay for our furniture and payoff his credit card bills. I did have him sign an agreement that he would pay me back if we divorced. But he is saying that he is entitled to half the money in the savings account. The loan and the savings account are in my name only. Please advise. Thank you.

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Question #65: After my fiancee and I get married, can his ex-wife come back and ask for more money since our incomes will be combined? Also, what if he looses his job? Are we then obligated to pay the alimony out of my income?

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Question #66: I have been married for 4 years in New York. 2 months ago my husband left me he is now living with his parents. I am curious about how you go about filing for a legal separation and then a Divorce. Also, I have student loans that were acquired before the marriage is he responsible for those payments? We also have a car loan and several credit cards that are primarily in my name with him as a cosigner. We have called the credit card companies to see if we can change the bill to his name and they will not do it. He has tried to get a loan in his name to consolidate these bills but they will not give it to him because of bad credit. What can I do so that I am not left with all of the debt? Also if I were to find out that he was with another woman that is adultery and how is that different from abandonment?

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Question #67: My husband and I have been married (NY) for 8 1/2 years. Due to his problems, we have not had sexual relations for at least 8 years. My husband has supported me for the entire marriage while I pursued an independent (and not self supporting) career interest. His present retirement assets (he is retired for the past 3 years) are nearly $1,000,000. For the first five years of our marriage (before he retired) he was still contributing to that account. Am I entitled to part of that account? I don't want to break him, I just want a fresh start.

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Question #68: My daughter is currently in the process of separating from her husband. She has an 18 month old child. The divorce is her idea. Must she remain in her house with her husband until a separation document is filed or can she move in with me with her child prior to filing the documents. The current way they are living is very difficult.

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Question #69: I have been married for just 3 years. My husband retained an attorney for a legal separation or whatever. He is not even sure himself. My question: We have a condo and the condo was purchased prior to our marriage and is in my name (deed and mortgage). A very minimal amount was put as a down payment and I can't even give you a figure of his contribution to the downpayment, because it was so minimal. All costs were paid out of my personal checking account/savings. Is he entitled to any share of my home?

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Question #70: I have been married 26 years. I served my husband with divorce papers last Sept. He moved out last Dec. We are at the stage of either a trial or settle. He offered to settle 50/50 everything with child support til our last child is emancipated and no maintenance. He earned $112K in 2000 and I earned $35K. He claims I am self supporting and I cant afford to live in the home the way I am use to. Should I be entitled to alimony?

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Question #71: A friend of mine has been married for 8 months. she is getting a divorce. Is her engagement ring considered marital property? her grandfather gave her and her husband $25,000 when they got married. This is marital property, correct?

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Question #72: I've been married for 1 1/2 years. My husband wants a divorce, he isn'thappy. We bought a house before we got married. Both saved money and I put money that I received from a legal settlement. Am I legally entitled to that money?

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Question #73: I have ask by husband to leave for while until we can figure out what we both want. We have been married for 3 years. I don't want my children to see how miserable we are together. We built a house while we were married and everything is in my husband's name because I stayed home for three years taking care of our children. I didn't have an income to get credit. So everything is in his name. I wanted to know if i am entitled to our home and any savings that we have. I don't want to move my children again. He won't leave; he said he has too much invested in this marrage but he will not go to counseling with me to try to work things out. I am from NY and I just want to know what I am entitled to even though my name isn't on anything. I am only working part-time now and I can not afford everything on my own. Please help me understand!

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Question #74: I live in Upstate NY. I am getting a divorce after 5 yrs. of marriage. We have no children together. Is my wife entitled to 1/2 of the house that we live in even though I owned it before we were married and her name is not on the mortgage ? We have agreed to some terms to legally separate but she will not sign a paper written by my lawyer unless she can be present when I meet with them. My lawyer says that it is a conflict of interest to represent both parties even if we agree on terms.

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Question #75: My spouse and I are contemplating an amicable divorce in NYS. We have 2 homes with mortgages in both our names. We have agreed for each of us to take a house along with the mortgage responsibilities. How will that work from the legal standpoint. do we have to re-mortgage the properties to remove the joint ownership or does that happen as part of a divorce?

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Question #76: NYC residents: my wife an i got married 8 months ago.i had substantial assets prior to our marriage and i make about 4 times her salary. Prior to our marriage, we entered into a contract for the purchase of a home for which i paid the down-payment. In addition, after we got married, i paid the remainder on the house with the assets i had prior to our marriage. Can my wife claim that she wants half the value of the house, even though it is me who paid for it?

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Question #77: Hi, I have been married 1 year and three months. My wife is a student and does not work and make any money. After marriage I bought an apartment with substantial down payment. This was all paid for by the funds I had before marriage. I have been paying for her college education/living expenses from the last two years. If we are separated can she ask for half of what I have?

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Question #78: I'm getting divorce with my husband. We are in the middle of Negotiation right now for property division. My EX-husband is rich and I am not. We been married for 12 years. He owns a company and I work with him for 11 years and I was underpaid. Before we got married, he slapped me with the pre-nup the day before the wedding. I was not properly represented by an attorney who my husband called to represent me. I met this lawyer the day of the signing. Now my EX- just wanted to give me a lump sum of $350,000 , $350,000 share for the house, $1500 alimony for 2 years, $1500 child support. My lawyer think that I should fight because what he is giving me is not enough. But my bills is building up,and my husband will not pay for my lawyer's fee. I tried to avoid going to court because it's emotionally draining and I don't want my son to be affected psychologically. My question is there a possibility that the pre-nup agreement will be thrown out by the judge because I was not properly represented and the pre-nup are all in favor to my EX? How long do you think would this divorce end if I have to go to court? Do you think that I should just accept what he is giving me and go on with my life? In the back of my mind I wanted to fight him in court and let the judge decide what is fair for me and for my son but emotionally I think I cannot handle it and also I am afraid that it might turn out against my favor. Do you think that what he is offering me child support, lump sum and alimony is fair? By the way he makes 100,000 a year.Please, please help, I need your respond a soon as possible, they said this was there last final offer, if we don't accept it, they will proceed the court.

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Question #79: I have been divorced since 1996. At that time, my husband and I had just purchased a home and I agreed to give him the house. As part of the settlement, he reimbursed me for a disbursement from my 401k plan which we used as a down payment on the home. I signed a quit claim deed on the home. At that time, I did not know enough about mortgage loans to realize the importance of insisting, as part of the settlement, that my ex refinace the loan in his own name. Now, many years later, the loan still appears on my credit. Now he is behind on his payments and it is really having a huge negative effect on my credit. Can I sue him and force him to refinance in his and his current wife's name? If he can't refinance due to his payment history, can I force him to sell the home? (The house has increased in value significantly since our divorce, and I am not seeking any money, just to be taken off the loan) I am also still on a credit card which he is behind on. Refinancing would give him enough cash to pay off the credit card. Is suing a viable option? What happens if the mortgage forecloses or he declares bankruptcy? Thanks for your attention.

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Question #80: I'm married for 4 years; my husband bought a condo just 2 weeks before marriage. My name was added on the title 1,5 years later. During last 4 years our condo got appreciation in about 130,000. We had the joint account opened before we got married and then all the time, all the payments were done from our joint account, including mortgage payments. I'm working and my pay checks go directly to our account. My question is: Can I claim an equity interest in the condo when it will be sold after the divorce?Thank you.

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Question #81: I live in NY with my wife and child. We have been married for almost 5 yrs. My question is if I have money in my individual account from a sale of real estate, but the money is not mine, does she have a claim to it? The other question, if that money is going towards a purchase of a business even though it's not my money but the business would be in my name, would she have a claim to the business.

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Question #82:

I got married in NYC and live upstate in new windsor. Last week I found out that my husband got a hotel room for 2 hours with another women. I even saw the hotel bill. I found out 3 days after the fact and when I conforted him he got mad and vilente, packed up all his stuff and moved in with his mother. Now we have no children but rent and bills are due. what am I to do I want a divorce I will never be disrespected or be with a cheater. What is my first step? Thank you




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Question #83:

My husband and I have been married for 2.5 years and we have a 4 month old daughter. My husband has not worked in a year and I have been paying his child support for another daughter he has as well as the mortgage and all of the bills for some time now. He can work, he just isn't right now and if the child support isn't paid his license will be suspended. We live in NYS, is he obligated to continue to pay child support even though he doesn't have a job right now? Also, his name is not on the deed or mortgage, can I make him leave the house if we are not divorced yet?




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Question #84:

My husband and I have been married for 4 years. We have a 2 year old son. He is military and I was until our child was born. We both agreed for me to get out of the service to take care of the child and go back to college. Everything we own is in his name even though we bought it after marriage. He has not been a very good husband and i am tired of being miserable. I want out after two years of trying to work it out. I have no job, no car and no income. He has agreed to let me keep the car and he will pay for it. We lived in TX and I decided to move back to VA with my family. I want him to be able to have a good relationship with our son but it seems almost impossible. I don't want this to be ugly and I still want to be on good terms with him. I really don't have the money to fight him in court over property. How much support is he required to give me until the divorce is final. The only bills we have is house, car insurance, etc. There is no credit cards or lines of credit. He has almost $1000 left over a month after all bills are paid. He says that if I decided for sure to divorce then I am cut off to any financial support besides child support which he is just paying the car payment for that. He wants to keep the house and I do not contest that even though there is over $10000 in equity in it. How can I do this peacefully? I can not afford daycare so I can go to school. I will get my G.I. Bill in Oct. but that is not helping me now. Jobs in my area (southwestern VA) are scarce and most people want full time and will not hire for a few weeks only.


I would appreciate it if you can help any at all.



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Question #85:

I'm a 30 year old married women with 2 children. One is autistic.

I do not work. I have a house with some debt and my husband has recently told me

that he wants a divorce. He has said that I need to get out of our house so he can "start over". Please

help me and tell me what my rights are. I am totally involved with my children, especially my son. He is in an autistic program that requires

a lot of attention which prohibits me from having any kind of decent paying job. My husband is not involved with my son at all and

only sometimes spends time with our daughter. He is cheating on me and says he wants out. He now has said he will take custody of the kids too.

I have so many questions, little money, and need a place to start. Help




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Question #86:

hi:


just wanted to find out what the ny state laws towards alimony is

and does it also relate to someone who is on a foreign work permit.



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Question #87:

In the state of New York, what is the laws concerning retirement related issues. My husband and I have been married for 30 years.....how much am I entitled to? Advise please! Thanks




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Question #88:

My wife and I were married about 4 months ago. Our relationship has deteriorated drastically. She has threatened my life and threatened to "destroy me". I have no hard evidence of either of those. Though the police did arrive to help me leave the house once. I have made it clear that I want out of the relationship but she refuses to leave. Only my name is on the rental lease. Some of the bills are in her name. I cannot afford to continue paying my current lease and get another place for myself. what are my options? If I file for a divorce who has to move? I am in New York City. What support will I be liable for considering the short time we have been married?




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Question #89:

My parents have been married for 32 years. They are miserable and should have been divorced 30 years ago. They stayed together for my brother and I. My father was emotionally unavailable and verbally abusive our whole lives.

My Mother wants to leave him but is fearful of how she will win a divorce case with him. She inherited money from her father that is left in her name only. She could survive on this alone, but is fearful he will take it in the divorce. How would this work and how can she be protected. She is 60 years old and scared. Any advice would help us. Thanks




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Question #90:

My husband and I have been married for almost three years but we have been living apart for the past 6 months. I found out he had had numerous affairs. Although we are living apart, he is still paying the rent. I pay the childcare, cable, coned bill, child medical expenses, and any other child related expenses. He makes about eight to ten thousand dollars more than I do but I am paying more expenses than he is. He occasionally buys milk, diapers, clothes, etc...for the kids but it is mostly on me. Don't get me wrong...I am glad he is still paying the rent because I could not afford to pay it along with all of my other expenses. I believe he may be doing it to keep an upper hand on me and the apartment. It can't continue like this. He seems perfectly happy with this situation.


We got the apartment together when we were married(it's a rental) but his name is the only name on the lease. Can I be forced out of the apartment because my name is not on the lease? He is currently living with a friend and our 1 year old twins live with me in the apartment. My husband comes and goes as he pleases because he still has a key and I am afraid to change the locks because I do not know if I can legally do it. He does spend time with the kids and I want that to continue but he has the best of both worlds. He is able to come and go as he pleases in our apartment and when he leaves at night he can do what ever he wants. The next morning it begins again. I want a divorce but he does not.


What should I do? What rights do I have to the apartment and what help can I get with child care expenses?




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Question #91:

I have been separated since February 1, 2001. We have been

married for 5 years.

My husband just received a disability/early retirement package from his job.

I'm not sure of all of the terms and conditions, but am I entitled to

any of this compensation? Am I entitled to half of his pension?

Also, I have bankbooks in my name prior to marriage with a lot

of money in them. I also purchased our apartment with that money and

the apartment is in my name only. Can I deem this apartment separate property?

He seems to think he contributed to that bankbook, but he was always on

disability or workers compensation, so whatever he made went to our rent

at the time and the expenses that came along with that.




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Question #92:
My wife and I have been married for over 40 years. Last year, out of the blue, she first asked for a legal separation and soon after mentioned a divorce. I have no idea what may have precipitated this; I am guessing that an affair may have been involved based on her and the suspected party's actions and comments. A comment like
" I didn't think you would care" almost sounds like an admission, but she has steadfastly denied this. She has been reading Stephanie Marston's book, "
If Not Now, When?" which never leaves her side. (I question some of the advice given in this book.) She wants to sell our home and property and split all our retirement savings. My question is can she legally get a divorce and walk away with half of our retirement funds that we worked so hard to get? My wife never had an income producing job.



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Question #93:

Child support payments in NY State are17% of combined gross income, pro-rata, correct? My wife's annual gross is about $4,000 more than mine. For my one son, this would amount to $625.00 per month! I know from detailed budgets I kept, that it never cost us even close to that. What is this money for? I've been told what it doesn't include, please tell me what considerations are put into coming up with that number.




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Question #94:

My wife and I have been married for 4 years with a 3 year old daughter. We married right out of college with barely any assets. During our marriage she has always kept our money and credit separate. Now she is demanding a divorce with 17% of my salary as child support (We both make similar

salaries). But she says I can not touch her

assets. She has even threatened to

send her money to her family in China.

What can I do to find her assets, am

I entitled to a portion of them, and

is she liable for any of my debts that

I incurred during our marriage (individual credit accounts)? We live

in NYC.



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Question #95:

I want to apply for divorce, but i have a question if

I can do it right now. My husband currently does not

work for W2 from, but he receive money as

self-employed(1099 Form). I don't know the amount. My

income is $40,000 and I have about $7,000 on my

saving. He owes the coop-apartment( he bought it

before we got married) and i know that he has a lot of

money in stocks, i am not sure if he has saving

account. My question is in case if I'll apply for

divorces can he apply for alimony for him?



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Question #96:

I have been married for 22 years. I moved out in March 2002 to live with and care for my terminally ill Mother who has just passed away. He has discussed divorce many times. Now he's stalling. My Mother left me her estate. If the divorce isn't started, is he entitled to this estate as part of a settlement? I live in New York.



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Question #97:

I am due to inherit (as beneficiary on bank accounts and as Trustee of a Family Trust) a large sum of money upon the death of my mother.


Naturally, I'm writing because my marriage is looking more and more like a ship off course...


My question: Should I inherit the monies mentioned above, keep them in accounts only in my name (perhaps my children's names as well), and keep a paper-trail showing the money was inherited, will it be safe should a divorce ensue - even several years from the date of inheritance?




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Question #98:

If a car is given to me as a gift by my mother while I'm married, can my husband have any claim to it whatsoever, (monetarily or otherwise), if we divorce? (I live in New York.)



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Question #99:

I live in New York, my husband of 3 years has not worked 2 1/2 years of those. His mother recently deeded him and his brother a piece of property for $1 which now they are no fighting over. His brother has offered him monies for the property and we are now no longer living together, am I entitled to fight for any of these monies?



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Question #100:

I have been married for a year and a half. I believe there is infidelity on the part on my husband. I constantly find phone numbers, condoms (we don't use them), receipts for gifts bought for other women(I know for a fact they were for women), disappearing acts, etc. I tried to talk with my husband to get to the root of the problem which only further aggravated the situation. He decided that since I don't trust him, he was leaving and has been gone for about two months. In the meantime, I have been left without financial support and have gotten behind in my bills. We both worked, but my salary almost doubles his. This does not make handling the bills on my own any easier since without his income I am living above my means. What recourse do I have financially if I pursue separation financially? I would hate to be supporting him financially because I make more money. We have no children together, but I have three from a previous relationship. I want to separate, but I surely don't want to pay him for leaving me.



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Question #101:

We have a legal separation which is 5 years old. At the time, my husband wanted his complete retirement fund and I wanted 2 houses. He agreed at the time that he house equity off set his cash and that is how we did the agreement. His cash has now been seriously depleted by stock market down turn and he wants to change our agreement. Is he going to be allowed to change our agreement to do this?




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Question #102:

Question:


my wife and i are have been separated for a year----we have three children--17--14--12-----we have been married for 19 years---she resides in ny with my 17 year old---my 14 and 12 year old live with me----i live with my twq children in pa----i lived in pa the last year ---we want a divorse ----what state would be better to divorse in---she never worked---i paid for everything---what will she be entitled to---i am a school teacher for 24 years--i will be teaching in pa this year---pension--retirement--percent of salary------please advise thank you----



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Question #103:

I live in New York State and have been married 15 years. My husband informed me he is leaving. We purchased a home during the marriage which has very little equity in it. We have one daughter who is 8 years old. I would like to assume the remaining mortgage and have him sign off on the deed to the house. Can he force me to sell the home? What protection do I have? What are my legal rights for keeping the house? Thank you.




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Question #104:

I have been married 13 years and have 3 beautiful children. Only 2 of the children are my husbands. I am very miserable and despartely want a divorce.

I have priced lawyers and find that getting a divorce is not cheap. I am confident that me and my husband can come to an aggreement and get an uncontested divorce. My questions are 1.can you be legally separated and still live in the same house? 2. If I move out of my house with my 2 young children will I still be entitled to child support? 3.After being legally separated for one year can you still get an uncontested divorce automatically once you file? We live in new york and own a home.



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Question #105:

i've been married 26 years, have a 16 year son and am looking to get a legal separation; we own a home, a motor home and two cars; he has a pension, 401K, and ira accounts; i would like him to buy me out of the house; also i will take full custody of our son, and it is not necessary for him to support him; will the courts allow this?



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Question #106:

My husband has walked out on our marriage after two months and has refused any attempt at reconciliation. I was forced to sign a pre-nuptial two days before the wedding or he threatened to call off the ceremony. This pre-nuptial denied me any spousal support and cut me off from any marital property rights. Looking back it now appears that he had no intention of working at the marriage and used the pre-nup as a way to guarantee that he could leave as he chose. This pre-nuptial leaves me destitute as I gave up my home, all furniture and most possessions when my children and I moved in with him. What are my rights since I signed this prenuptial? Could this prenuptial be thrown out on grounds of duress, unconscionability or even fraud?




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Question #107:

MY HUSBAND AND I ARE SEPARATING AFTER 16 YEARS OF MARRIAGE. WE PURCHASED A HOME 11 YEARS AGO, BOTH NAMES ARE ON THE MORTGAGE. HE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MORTGAGE PAYMENTS AND I AM FOR ALL THE UTILITIES. I HAVE BEEN LOOKING INTO BUY A HOME FOR MYSELF SINCE HE DOES NOT WANT TO LEAVE THIS ONE. IF I PURCHASE PROPERTY WILL HE BE ENTITLED TO ANY PORTION OF IT. ALSO, IF I FILE A QUIT CLAIM DEED ON OUR JOINT HOME WILL I BE ENTITLED TO 1/2 THE EQUITY THAT IS IN IT. HE TOLD ME THAT HE WASN'T GIVING ME ANYTHING AND TO JUST GO!! THANK YOU KINDLY FOR YOUR RESPONSE



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Question #108:

My mother-in-law was awarded alimony after a divorce in New York over 25 years ago. About 15 years ago her ex stopped gradually stopped making payments. Because she was scared my mother-in-law did nothing about it. She is now about to be laid off from her job. Is she entitled to back alimony and future alimony? Or, was there a limit on the time she could fight for the money she was/is owed? She has never remarried.



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Question #109:

I have been married almost 3 years and am now getting a divorce. In terms of Roth IRA contributions and marital vs. separate property: Are all IRA contributions considered marital property regardless of who put the money in the account as long as it is in one of the spouse's names? My wife's parents have contributed regularly to her account and I want to see if this money is considered a marital asset. Thank you.



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Question #110:

My fiance and I reside in NYS. My name is NOT currently on the deed...he bought the home before we met (though I am paying a portion of the mortgage). We're getting married next year, for some reason we get a divorce, do I automatically get 1/2 the house because we were married or does my name HAVE to be on the deed? He and I recently had this discussion and I thought according to NYS law that as a married couple 1/2 is yours when it came to divorce...please let me know. He is however planning on adding my name to the deed. We also aren't planning on divorce but it's good to know the details prior to walking down the aisle!





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Question #111:

My husband and I have been married for five years. He has owned the house we are living in for the past 18 years. One year ago he placed my name on the deed and we refinanced the house. I am the sole mortgage holder and money that was borrowed was put into a joint bank account. My husband now wants a divorce. Am I entitled to half the house as well as half the money in the joint account?




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Question #112:

i have been married almost 10 years-4/20/04 if i get a legal seperation can i also stay on the medical insurance- he is a suffolk county police officer- the insurance for the me and the two kids is free no out of pockets expenses for him. also he is a extreme drinker and has some police reports filed on him for abuse to me only -the abuse (all of them0 has been since a month after we married- i have always kept a diary and can list all dates which is quuite often he has ia involved in his behavior and to top this he has many girlfriends and one after two years of coming here breaking in , ramming garage doors and getting my husband loaded work gun and holding james & I hostage and etc. his job finally kept coming here and finally talked me into order of protection -in which she violates here and there- but its much better-my husband still meets her goes to all her courts dates and has a tatto on his arm of her name about 2 years now. i live in fear from him everyday i do not any acess to money and well its pretty horrid-he does not hurt the kids just ingores them alaways did- their ages are 5 ,7 they do not like him and are telling me not to let him in the home and want a new nice dad, well he does make 102,000 a year but he fails to give us money and i mention he goes missing for days, sometim weeks etc with no way to contact him -my mom lives downstairs and thank god for her she doesnt make much with social security but can help sometimes. i have recently had to go to a church for food it was embrassing he keeps his paycheck cash in his wallet there is no money anywhere in accounts and he pay bills sometimes but the house went into foreclosure twice and my friend gave me the monet to save my youngest child will be going to school soon he forbids me to work all thses years, and have to produce receipts when he gives me food money to check to make sure i never get change back and to see and critize what food i bought. my friends help to get me hand me dows for me and kids and even bought them new jackets for the winter when they came here(which is only allowable when james is working) and he does not know we are not allowed to have anyone over to visit- anyway i cried when i got the jackets- our home is falling apart it was a foreclosure when we got it and need lots of work which he does not want to or have any repairs so its not worth much. but he always on vacations himself, out of \bars all of the time, sporting events , rock concerts etc.. and the cable shut off again and phone disconnected again because he so late paying or for lack of not paying them etc.. what would be the best thing to do --also he does want a divorce or seperation -that he is handling everything etc-but he does not. i need help-also he has a son who is 12 from a previous girlfriend he never see him last time maybe 3 years ago me and my kids would get and see him 100x more than james-the child support is 700.00 a month which is garnished from his paycheck. i sure this would have some bearing on me and kids. i live in new york state could you tell me how much i would receive in child support thank you-thank you sorry its so long but i guess you would need to know basic of components thank you please write back




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Question #113:

Married 1971,children now 24,28.I started divorce 1993,husband unstable, Children and self left house for safety in 1994, Trial by jury in 1996 contested by husband. I lost.
So I am married to someone who would hurt me if he could find me. I have been in hiding since trial. Children now grown, on their own. Husband bought another house upstate ny about 3 years ago, he had been living in our house that we bought in 1976 which is now paid for up until this summer, visiting the other house on weekends. He now lives upstate and plans on renting our house. Questions:does he have the right to rent with out my permission? I was in a very bad accident in March of 2003, I've had 7 operations since, the last was a spinal fusion leaving me out of work. I do collect social security disability. I haven't asked him for any support or help of any kind, however if he is not going to live in the house, i might. Should I get a restraining order to prevent him from renting? Should I break into my house (he changed the locks in 1996) and change the locks myself and start living there? I need to know what to do because once someone else is in the house it will be imposible. help me please.



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Question #114:

I have been married for 5 years. My husband and I have 2 children, ages 1 and 4. He recently had an affair, and filed for divorce. My problem has to do with determining separate & community property. He owned two properties from a trust prior to our marriage. After we married, we used proceeds from the sale of one of the properties to buy a new home jointly. Later, we sold that property, took out a equity loan against his remaining trust property, and used it to buy our current residence. Over the years I contributed to the maintenance and mortgages of the properties, loans, bills, etc. Most all of our funds have been "comingled" in joint banking accounts. He is claiming that we have no "community property" because of the trust issue - we live in California - and I am only entitled to split our debts. Is there any documentation that I might have that might help resolving this matter? What can I do?!

Thanks for your help!



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Question #115:

I have been married for nine years and live in new york city. Recently I added my wife's name to our primary residence as well as three investment properties. All of the properties were purchased several years before we married. The attorney who did the deed transfers advised me that in the event of divorce my wife would not be entitled to half the value of these properties but only half the appreciation of the property going forward. Another attorney told me i am totally screwed and would have been better off leaving her name off the deeds. Yet another attorney told me that after 10 years of marriage the court has discretion to include separate property in the equitable distribution calculation. Why are there so many varied opinions, are there not any clear cut laws.



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Question #116:

I was married in 1984 in NY and have one child with my spouse. My spouse filed for divorce in 1993. Towards the end of the divorce/custody proceeding (in 1995) which I was to get sole custody, my spouse abducted our child and left the country for 5 years. In 1996, I enrolled in a 401k at work and opened a IRA. When they were found in 1999 my spouse was arrested and incarcerated for a short time. The divorce was granted but soon dismissed because my attorney did not file for an "extension of time." Since that time there have been (2) two custody cases in which I have won. She has since purchased her own home, paying cash. Now I am faced with filing for the divorce again and want to know if my spouse is entitled to any part of my 401k, IRA, equity in my home or maintenance.



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Question #117:

My wife and I are living in the same house, not separated. We are both aware of severe problems in the marriage. Within a day or two I will discuss with her that I am leaving.



I put an offer on a nearby house (to be near our son) that was accepted. I was "pre-approved" for a mortgage based on my salary alone, including 17% subtracted for child support. The downpayment will be a gift from my father. Closing date is still 5 to 8 weeks away.


Will this new house be considered "marital property" in New York State?




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Question #118:

My wife and I separated and divorced about 12 years ago (uncontested). While married we purchased a co-op apartment in Brooklyn N.Y. After moving into the apartment for about two years she moved out taking our two small children with her (paying child support), She was having an affair. I remained in the apartment assuming all financial responsibilities. About a year ago I moved to Connecticut for job purposes since I lost my job in New York city. I decided to sell my apartment and found a buyer willing to pay me a good amount. My former wife never expressed any interest in the property, never paid towards the mortgage or maintenance, or any upkeep.


I informed her that I would need her to approve the sale since her name is still on the documents. While I was looking for a buyer she never expressed her opinion, never said she would not sign and so on. Suddenly she gets an attorney who is demanding 50% of the net proceeds. I am about to lose the buyers because of her actions I offered her $25,000 she is demanding at least $50,000 half of the net sale price. I am hoping I can still sell the apartment and then sue her for her share of the costs which is about $55,000. In summary she lived in the apartment for about two years, after she moved out in 1990 she never made any payments for 13 years. Please any advice that you can give me would be greatly appreciated.


Thank You




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Question #119:

Can I offer a one lump monetary settlement in lieu of traditional alimony payments, that includes a monetary sum and the cumulative sum of the value of precious gems i am willing to give her.



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Question #120:
I would like to know if my wife, is initialed to any profit on my house. Live in New York. I brought it in 1988. She moved in November 1995. Refinanced it in February 1998. I put her name on the deed, we were not married at the time. Since then I have paid $40,000 in mortgage payments. We got married in June 1999. We have been separated since July 2002. The refinance was to pay off a car that I owned prior to marriage. And to do some remodeling on the house. I owe more on the house now, then I did when she moved in. She put about $3000 in to something's prior to marriage and about $500 to $1000 after marriage. Before she moved in I put about $25,000 of my own money in to the house. And after about $15000.I brought it in a forecloses. From a bank, I use to do work for. I do remodeling. And some of the thing's she paid for was a deck, which she wanted, (materials only) that I built. My labor was worth more then the materials. Made a deal for her to put carpet in, and she could move in. So she could save money, by not having to pay any rent. And she saved a lot. I have paid 100% of the mortgage, and all utility. from day one. She has never paid anything on the house. Because she always knew it was my house. We also had agreed, that her money was hers, and mine was mine. We had separate accounts. I have agreed to give her a 1999 car. At the time of our separation, it had about $5000.00 in equity in it. She wants me to give her $5000 more, from the sale of my house. On top of the car. I'm thinking of selling my house and moving down south. Because my business is slow. And my finances are not looking good, right now. What I'd like to know, can she get anything from the sale of my house. The car is the only thing we brought together, when we were married. I also found out that she had money in a savings account ( $3200). Which she told me she had no money, to make the car payment. Then she closed the account in April with ($2600) still in it. A day before I was served with divorce papers. On top of that she brought me a snow blower and lawnmower, as gifts. Then she sold them to her sister and her husband. I don't want, nothing from her. I think giving her the car was enough for what she put in to the house. And I would be entitled to half of the car, which I'm willing to give up. Thank You

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Question #121:

My father resides in and works for NY state. My mother had an affair and has not been in the home for 2.5yrs. What laws, if any, protect my father and his retirement fund after the divorce?



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Question #122:

My Husband was married for ten years prior to meeting me. He got the divorce and we got married. My husband is 17 years older than I am. We have a 10 month old child together. I am worried if we buy a house and God forbid my husband dies before I do, does his ex-wife have any legal rights to the property that we acquire? We live in NYC.




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Question #123:

I have been married for 11 years and have been contributing to a 401K at my place of employment. My husband has always refused to invest in a 401K through his workplace or any other. - stating that he "could not afford to invest the money". I have ALWAYS paid AT LEAST 50%, sometimes more to the monthly household bills. Now since the divorce has been mentioned - he claims that he will sue me for my 401K (along with take my daughter, have me committed and burn the house down).

Can he just take 1/2 after he refused to invest in one?. Should I quit investing, or put the money in something else?




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Question #124:

hello. i am 36 yrs old and have been married for 6 yrs. my wife and i have come to an agreement that we need a separation. we have 2 children. the car the condo, all of our possessions we attained during the marriage. i am working but my wife is currently unemployed. she is about to get a job that will potentially pay her six figures(double what i make). i am willing to pay child support but what happens when she gets the job? am i still responsible to pay her funds even though she makes double what i do? we have agreed on terms for the separation but just need to have it finalized. can you help me with the name of someone in bklyn or manhattan that can help? thank you for your help in this matter.





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Question #125:

Hi, My mother is has been married for over 46 years but has been separated for over 22 years. My question is would she be entitled to his pensions; he worked two jobs for over 35 years. If yes, at what percent. She is thinking of getting legally separated. Thank you




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Question #126:

I have been married to this man for 8 years ...he has spinal injury and is confined to a wheelchair...When we first got married he was walking with canes and he told me that it was temporary that he would walk again. However shortly after we got married he sustained a fracture and refused to continue therapy so he could walk with canes again but instead requested a wheelchair. Our relationship has deteriorated sexually and otherwise. He is now impotent...we haven't had sex in over 5 years and I have never cheated on him...He does not want me to work..so I can serve him hands and feet...He refuses to go on disability because this is his way of controlling me...he brings in the money and I serve him hands and feet and remain his prisoner...I am now 51 years old and I just can't take this anymore..It is driving me crazy...I want a divorce but the house is on his name and I have nothing....no job no money...every time I get a job he manipulates me into quitting....please help me....I am not a greedy person I just want to be compensated for all the time I gave to him...I have had no life since the day I married him...he managed to alienate me from all my friends and family...I would really appreciate your advice on how I can go about getting a divorce from this man and be able to get something to start a new life with....I am a medical transcriptionist by trade so I can still get back in the job market and be able to take care of myself but right now I have no money of my own...my mother left me $13,000.00 when she died but he put it on both our names and we don't have even that much in the bank anymore....thanks again .



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Question #127:

My husband and I have been married for 20 years. We live in New York. He left the house. We have 2 children together. I make more money than him. Do I have to pay him alimony? Does he get half of my pension? Do I have to be legally separated for him to only get 1/2 pension for the time we were married? Thanks!




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Question #128:

I live in NY,married 7yrs,children 6 & 3-stay at home mom for 3 years.

I will have custody of children,we are all living in our current home.

My husband wants the divorce & does not want to move out,he wants to buy me out of home.

Do I legally have the right to stay in our home with children and have him move out . Alot of people tell me that I can stay in home with children.

Will he have to pay mortgage & taxes ??




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Question #129:

My husband filed for divorce after 21 yrs. of marriage after meeting someone a month before. We live in NY. At this time my 3 boys were 21, 18,16. I never worked.There were 4 properties to be divided, laundromats, contracting businesses, my x hadn't filed taxes since 96, and much more. My lawyer was horrible. I wrote her letters numerous times. I had consults with other lawyers to see if they would take over my case. They wanted a lot of money because of the mess and I didn't have the money to give them. I had no cash. On the day of the inquest, we were in the halls of the courts trying to split properties based on a "draft" settelement. My lawyer never went over it with me or discused with me my life style and that of my boys or the cost of living for me and my boys. My boys were the biggest concern to me and she repeatedly told me the two oldest are not my problem. It was very unprofesssional. To make a long and complicated story short, I went befor a judge for an inquest - I did not know what this was. I was tired and disgusted. Never thinking or knowing this was my final contract. My x was in contempt for all other pedi lite motions - never returned furniture, didn't have art work appraised that he stole out of the house (over 100,000), didn't give me maintenance and child support for two months, didn't do repairs on the home, etc. My lawyer did nothing even though I was angry - she told me to stop worrying about the little things. and since all the court orders that were ordered in the previous months were ignored I thought initialing the papers was just temporary - my divorce settlement is only 7 pages, a lot of cross outs - a disgrace. Medical was never mentioned but in the papers sent to the judge to be filed my sweetheart of a lawyer added that I would be fully responsible for medical for myself and my youngest son. Regarding my youngest son's education - she wrote that we would go to court if we could not agree. Since we don't speak - we didn't agree. I could not afford it, I can not get loans. My father helped out the first semester. The judge did not sign the papers until last month so now I can go to court and have the judge decide who has to pay. My x can afford it. My x is also suing me because I have not transferred deed. After the inquest, I asked my lawyer to do a title seach on the two properties I was awarded, she did it on the matriamonal property. With the transfer of deed papers she sent me a judgment or lien. There is a 200,000 lien on my property so I refused to transfer the deeds because no one can tell me if the lien will come off with his name. Another property I received has a satisfaction. At the day of the inquest I was told I would have to pay a man $2300 a month cash, because my x said he used the builiding for collataral but didn't explain for what. I wanted to see the note - still haven't. So next week I am going to court. My x is suing me for legal fees,want's to get sherriffs to take baseball cards out of the house, force me to transfer deeds and to pay a loan shark. I am going to court alone - can't afford a lawyer. Like I said this divorce was a disgrace and handled very unprofessional. Any advice for me would be appreciated? Do you think I have grounds to sue my lawyer and if you do can you recommend anyone?





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Question #130:

We are divorcing after 20 years. He is unemployed but looking. We have enough money and he wants to buy me out of my portion of the house, Since he is unemployed, he won't qualify for his own financing. I don't want to force him on the street. He wants me to leave everything as is and to file a quit claim deed. My name is still on the mortgage. If he pays me off, and I file quit claim deed on our house, In the event that he is late on a payment and begins to ruin my credit rating can I still force him to sell or do anything legally that would get my name off the mortgage?




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Question #131:

Question:

OK, complicated question.


First background:


1) Married for 4.5 years.

2) Own apartment in manhattan in wife's name.

3) She has been mostly there since 2000.

4) I rent in California.

5) She hasn't worked for a year and a half, but made a lot of money before

the market crashed. She's been living from that.

6) She has admitted to cheating on me several times since married, and has

promised each time to stop.

7) I have some of her emails that reconcile this.

8) I have some proof and believe that she has had an ongoing intimate

relationship for the last several months with a person that I know the

identity of.

9) I have her admitting to cheating on me within the last "couple of

months".

10)We were married in Nevada, but had residence in Califronia together from

1998 until 2000 and were married in 1999.


Question: Do I file for divorce in California or New York? Should I have

to pay her even though she has been the one to break our vows? Should I be

entitled to a portion of the apartment in the city, even though it's in her

name? How do I keep her from changing my mind like she has every time

before?




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Question #132:

I am in Wisconsin. I recently got divorced and my ex-husband is taking over the house that we purchased together at the end of last year. It is in the divorce papers that he is getting the house, however there is nothing that states he has to refinance by a certain date to have my name removed from the mortgage. It seems as though that he just keeps putting it off and will not refinance, and he has been asking me for money since my name is still on the mortgage even though I have not been living there for over 6 months now. What are my legal rights? Is there anything I can do to force him to refinance the house or any type of paperwork that can be completed stating that I am no longer financially responsible?



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Question #133:

One of my friends was married in february 2003 and has now decided to separate from his spouse but is trying to be understanding about her situation. Her situation is that she is awaiting citizenship papers. Now I am worried for him because when the time comes she may want to take spousal support from him because she works off the books. He says she is a good person just that he is not in love so he doesn't believe she will do something like that. However I am a woman and I know better. They don't have any children from one another, however she did give birth to a stillborn last month; october. They both live in NYC. What are the laws of alimony in this case? Thank You.




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Question #134:

Married 28 years,became disabled 1995 permant. 13 year old daughter for both need to leave home per doctors,

emotionally. what kind of support can i expect for both of us. long beach, n.y.



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Question #135:

I was married for almost 20 years and my ex-husband and I had two children. Our marriage deteriorated because our ideals, interests, goal and dreams changed dramatically in the last 3 years of our marriage. I left and we agreed to share custody of the children. After a year of separation, we divorced. 6 months before our divorce paperwork was even commenced, I lost my job due to downsizing. Now divorced for almost 6 months, I am still unemployed but continue to share custody and 1/2 of all expenses for the children, as agreed. My ex-husband has a 401K through his employer now for more than 9 years in the approx amt of %$50,000. By law, am I entitled to any portion of these monies even after divorce?



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Question #136:

My husband and i have been married for 7 months and are already discussing divorce. Clearly we should not be married to each other. My question is His parents offered to help us by paying for the wedding or by getting us into a house. We opted for the house, and it was purchased . The mortgage is in his parents name as well as his. I was led to believe that once we were married that my name would be added to the deed, it in the has not been added. I changed my mind about having children(dont want to)and that is why we are discussing the idea. I have contributed to half of the financial responsibility, but am not on the deed. Should i stop contributing? The insurance policy however lists me as primary insured. I have been contributing half of the payments to the mortgage even though my name is not on the deed. I am wondering if i have any entitlement to the property. We have made improvements to the house during our engagement and were led to believe that the house downpayment was a "wedding gift". Who gives a gift to just the groom? Anyway the house has increased in value, if we sell am i entitled to the money at all, only the increased value, or to all of it or none of it?



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Question #137:

Near the end of my marriage I was at work on a textbook which was about 50% complete at the time we filed for divorce. (We are attempting to negotiate a resolution.) A second book, based on the first, was begun several months after filing, but required substantial additional work to complete. My wife did not contribute to the creation of either book. Both arise from my job as a teacher. Are either or both books marital property? If so, are there guidelines for an appropriate spousal share? We are NY residents.




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Question #138:

I'll attempt to make a long story short. My father recently passed away and had worked for one company for many years. I was contacted by a representative from this company asking for his ex-wife's address. During their divorce, she received a sizeable lump sum, and signed away any financial benefit after his death. 13 years later is she eligible to receive money from his pension? I'm the executor of the estate, and I would like to know the correct process for keeping this money away from her. I don't even know what the total sum of the benefit comes to...they wouldn't release the information. I don't know her current address, no one from our family kept in touch with her after the divorce. This was his second wife, whom he didn't want to notified he was ill or notified of the funeral. She was written out of all other life insurance and veteran's benefits. I would rather the money go to charity if there is no option to place that money into the estate. Am I legally responsible to find her? Does she really receive a benefit even if she signed off in the divorce? The divorce occurred 1 year after he retired from the company. She took over 70,000 from a retired man in his 60's. If she is eligible for money, I hope she spends it on a one way ticket to hell.

Thanks in advance for your time and reply.



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Question #139:

My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We live in Manhattan, New York City, and have 2 children, ages 5 and 7. I have been the main provider for the family and make about $80,000 a year. My husband makes about

$20,000 a year. During our marriage he completed a Ph.D. while I worked full time, and had promised to contribute more after finishing, but 4 years later, he has not got a better paying job. We bought a coop apartment that is worth about $400,000 more now than when we bought it. My family gave us the money for the down payment and I have made all the mortgage payments since, but both our names are on the papers. My family also gave us about $40,000 in stocks that we have had to sell. We have no money in savings. We now both want to get separated or divorced, and my husband wants to sell the apartment and divide up the profit equally. I do not want to move and would not be able to afford a similar place to move with the children, who would certainly stay with me. Renting a similar place would cost about twice as much as I am paying monthly, and would be a waste of all the profits from the house in my opinion. I would be willing to refinance the apartment and give him money to get himself started, but not $200,000 and I think he will not agree to that. Would I be forced to sell my apartment?



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Question #140:

I and my wife live in Virginia. We have two underage children and we own our own home. I have several questions. I want to pursue having a legal separation. My wife and I don't have any rancor toward one another so we want to do this as cheaply as possible, but we do want to ensure our individual interests and our children's interests are protected. I will be moving out of our joint home (as a residence), but we still want me to maintain joint ownership of the home (as property). Is this possible? We really don't want to sell our home, because we want my wife and the kids to continue to live there. Also, the home is my primary investment in my future and I don't want to give it up, and my wife is okay with this. Neither of us can afford to buy our share of the home from the other. Also, I am bisexual and will likely pursue an intimate relationship with a man after my wife and I legally separate. My wife understands and accepts this. But, if I did so, would I be violating a legal separation agreement? One of our goals for the legal separation is so that I can explore in this area of my life. If a legal separation prohibits sexual contact with another person (in my case, a male), what do I do? Finally, I am in the will of an elderly relative to receive a small inheritance. It seems greedy, but my wife has more resources than I do, and I would like to see that I receive the full small inheritance when that time comes. Would a legal separation ensure that it would come entirely to me, or would I still need to split the small inheritance with my wife? I want to do what's right, but given my financial circumstances, I'm not in a position to do more than what's right.



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Question #141:

My husband and I own two homes in two different states just recently he changed the locks on the second house. Can he legally do this without my knowledge? I asked him what he was doing at the house and he said he was just checking on things. Do I legally have the right to call a locksmith and enter the home? He hasn't mentioned he wants a divorce, but all his actions tell me different. At this point I do not believe he has contacted an attorney, but I just want to make sure I go about things properly.




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Question #142:

I am not married, but we have been living together for close to 4 years and have a 2 year old child. Throughout this relationship I have suffered documented physical and mental abuse. I want to leave but, i only make 24K per year, after taxes that's 1,600 per month. There is no way I would be able to pay rent (Lowest possible rent in upstate NY $550) Daycare ($680 per month/$170 per week) Utilities $200-300 per month. Online DSL $44.00 per month (I am in my 3rd semester of college fulltime on-line). He makes 100K per year will he have to help me at least pay for daycare? The only reason why i am still with him is because I want my child to have both parents around him, and live in a nice home. But I can not take it anymore.



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Question #143:

Is New York State a community-property state? Thank you.



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Question #144:


My husband and I are heading to Divorce after 9 years of marriage. Domestic Violence, alcoholism and affairs

(his) have been a constant. I am due to receive a significant

settlement for an employee discrimination lawsuit I filed.

I have been advised to file for Divorce PRIOR to completing

the actions necessary for me to receive the settlement.

A few months ago, my husband 'found' an attorney to

handle the settlement process for me, this attorney drafted

a retainer that listed my husband and I as clients, yet specified therein that both the lawsuit and settlement check is/will (be) in my name (only). Advice? We are in New York State.



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Question #145:

My husband and I have been married for 25 years and I had known him 4 years prior to that. I am 45. We have been separated for nearly 2 years. I left the home in TX and reside in our joint home in IL. I left for emotional abuse issues as he wanted an open marriage and I did not. We are on very good terms and have substantial assets. Neither of us want to disrupt our marital assets but due to my religious beliefs, I think divorce is necessary.


What options are available to keep the real estate, stock, stock options, bonds and investment accounts uninterrupted while still attaining a divorce?


I appreciate your time greatly!




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Question #146: Question:

I am getting married and I have a house that I bought being married to another man. Would my prospective husband have a right to acquire my property in case of divorce?

thank you.




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Question #147:

Hello. This is the first time I am contacting a mediator after years of thinking about legal separation/divorce. The first question I have is...Is it ok for me to leave my apt that I share with my husband before we sign a legal separation agreement? I have not told my husband that I am seriously considering separating although we talk about it frequently. He is opposed, but would not hold me back. I would like to move out of the house first so I do not have to face uncomfortable feelings...but dont want to do anything that will hinder this process. Do I need a consultation?



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Question #148:


Right now my wife and I are still married but my wife doesn’t want to be with me. We bought a house while we were married in New York State. All the assets including the house are in my name.
Is it possible to sell my house with out splitting the money of the house even though the deed is in my name?
Would it also matter if there are no divorce papers yet?
I am the one who pays all the bills for the house and maintains it; will my wife still get 1/2? If I can prove this will this stand up in court?
Is there any other legality issues regarding the house that I should be aware of?
Thank you for all your help I appreciate all the information you can provide.







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Question #149:
My father passed away Oct 28 2005, he had not lived with his second wife for almost 12 years, before he passed he was sick and gave me power of attorney and told me what he wanted done with the money from his life insurance policy (which was to evenly distribute it amongst myself and my 3 other siblings.) After his death I found out that I was not on the life insurance policy as a beneficiary, but he never removed his second wife from the policy. After that much time apart are they considered divorced due to abandonment? If they are divorced what do I have to do to stop her from getting the money?


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Question #150: My boyfriend and I have separated after 2 1/2 years, We have a two year old daughter and I am the custodial parent. He claims that he is claiming our daughter in his taxes this year because he pays child support, but $65.00 a week does not put a roof over my daughters head. I am the head of my household, I work and provide shelter, food, clothes etc. for my child. As much of a good father he is to his daughter, I don't believe he has a right to claim her. Does he have the right to claim our daughter in his taxes or do I as the main provider? Please answer ASAP! Thank you


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Question #151:
I am in New York City and considering a separation from my husband. If I
move out without being legally separated, am I in anyway forfeiting my right
to the homes/assests we own together?

Can mediation be used to draw up separation papers?


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Question #152:
My husband and I have been separated for two years now, married for 7 years. I finally left after several attempts and have not gone back since. He carries the insurance on me an my child. He is not the biological father, nor was she ever adopted by him. I let her see him when he asks or when she ask. I've been scared to file for divorce because, I only make $10 hr. I will not be able to afford health insurance. He makes like $45,000 yr including bonus money every quarter. We had land on contract for deed, which I signed over to him after I left. We lived in a mobile home on the land which was his prior to the marriage. We purchased a 4-wheeler together which I signed for because his credit was bad. He promised to pay for the 4 wheeler if I would put it in my name. Needless to say it wasn't long and he stopped paying the $150 month bill. It's been in collections every since, like 6 years I suppose. When I left I had no way to take the 4-wheeler with me, I asked him to bring it to my parents' house. He never has and continues to use it everyday.
Is waiting to get a divorce hurting my chances at receiving maintenance? Can I receive it at all? I have a boyfriend now. He is convinced this is why I left him. I left because he is an alcoholic, and I didn't want to deal with the mental, sometimes physical abuse any longer. I did not want to raise my child in that environment either, only to have her grow up thinking it was normal relationship and end up in the same predicament. What advice can you give me?


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Question #153: I'm 55 years old and have recently separated from my husband. Presently, I live with my daughter at the family home. For the last 8 years my daughter has contributed to paying for the house but has yet to receive any compensation for doing so. Recently, she has asked to receive 20% equity on the house as compensation and both my husband and I feel this is appropriate. My question is if my daughter ends up owning 20% of the house, I own 40% and my husband owns 40%, can my husband force me to sell the house if we were to get a divorce or does the fact that he now owns less than 50% preclude him from this? In other words, does it matter if the ownership structure of an asset is not 50%/50%?

Hopefully my question isn't too convoluted.
Thanks

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Question #154: Here is the situation. We live in the Syracuse NY area. Married for 12 yrs Since May of 2005 my wife and I have been in marriage counseling. Regardless of the history of the sessions things haven't changed much. There was some ominous presence hanging over us. One month ago it finally came out that she had an affair from July 2004-April 2005. I have never abused, embarrassed her etc. She lacks for nothing including attention. I am a very involved father. Always changed diapers, taken both boys with me everywhere. In fact I estimate that I spend more time alone with them than her. (I have begun a journal with times etc) I do not want to use them as pawns. However, I grossed130 K last year and she 60 K. I am afraid, should we divorce, I will have to pay 25% of gross ($2200) add that to her take home it is almost $5000/month. I would be left to live on about 2200 myself. Doesn't seem fair for me to pay for her to live high on the hog like this when I didn't do anything to deserve this. I am willing to share custody and pay for 63% of all child expenses.
I can’t afford to live on $2200 minus rent, power, gas, food, daycare, saving for kids college etc. How can I do anything with them or for them. I am a victim of having a goodliving. I have offered 63% of all expenses etc. I even was willing to give up the home I rebuilt w / my sweat and bonus cks and the equity up to 100k after that it would be split. My kids will not lack but I don't want to pay for her to live on my dime.

My wife is a great mother but I don't want to live like a pauper. Can I go for primary custody? What type of chances does a father have who is very involved? 80% of the time I got them ready for school and picked them up. Other times when wife did they got off bus at sitters. I have a flexible schedule and travel usually one nite per week. I took a loan against my 401K for the down payment on the home and she has never touched hers. I did the remodeling and saved us tens of thousands of dollars. What can I do?


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Question #155: Hi, I have a question regarding financial issues and would like to know if you can help me with. My husband and I have been married for over 5 years but no children. We live in NY. During our marriage we have had too many fights and I can't take it anymore. I have been working full-time through the entire marriage, but my husband makes about 10 times more than I do. We purchased an apartment together AFTER our marriage, and it is under both of our names. BUT, my husband says that if I want a divorce, he will not give me any shares of the apt. He had an apt prior to our marriage (not in my name), and sold it in order to buy this apt. He claims that he contributed much more money to the down payment and mortgage than me, and therefore I will not be granted half of the apt. However, I do contribute to the monthly maintenance (about 1/3 of the monthly mortgage payment), as well as many of our household expenses. My question is: will I be granted half of the market value of the apt? My husband also has stocks and bonds (some purchased after the marriage), investments in restaurants as well as real estate properties (also some after the marriage), retirement, large amount of cash reserves in saving accounts/CDs... But all accounts are under his name regardless before or after the marriage. Am I entitled half of the money/profits he earned AFTER we got married (we have no prenup)? Also, although I can support myself, once we separate or have a divorce I will not be able to afford buying an apt. Will I be granted any spousal support? Many thanks!

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Question #156: I have a friend facing a divorce he is quite wealthy and faces loosing well over 50% of all he had prior to his marriage.
I am retired with very little cash and I live in Thailand in a small one-bedroom condo.
I have often borrowed money from my friend and currently owe him US$20,000.
I am selling my Condo that will allow me to pay him back. He has made me this offer but I am worried if its legal. He said he will buy my Condo before his divorce, he wants to pay me US$500,000.00 for it !! Its worth maybe US$45,000.00. He will tell his wife I ripped him off and he lost the US$500,000 cause he bought my apartment for 10 times its value. He asked me to set up a off shore company and put the excess cash in a bank in the Caribbean until the divorce is over, this will wipe out my debit to him. It’s a real good deal for me. I questioned the legality he said hey if he makes a bad investment that’s his problem, if the wife wants the Condo she can have half of it.
Are there any loopholes in his plan? Right now he has access to the money US$500,000 being maybe 1/4th of his wealth, she will be mad as hell but what can she do? It is his money. Can I get into trouble, can he? Any advice greatly appreciated.

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Question #157: I live in New York. My boyfriend is married but separated and has a 9 year old Daughter from his marriage. He either got married in Boston, MA or in Long Island, New York, I'm not positive. He has been separated for about 5 years now. He has been living with me for the past 9 months unemployed, therefore he did not contribute to any bills. He recently started working and we are thinking about buying a 2 family home together. He has no savings so I'm using my savings for a down-payment, closing costs, fees, etc but the house will be purchased with both of our names and credit. I am afraid that even though he is looking into getting a divorce we can close on the home before his divorce goes through. If this happens, Will his wife (and his Daughter) be entitled to any part of this home, God forbid he dies prior to the divorce, or even if he does not die, if God forbids his wife finds out he purchased a home with me during their divorce proceedings and decides to get half upon the divorce. He has not paid child support for the past few months since he did not work for 9 months. He is looking to get divorced, pay child support and get joint custody for his child. Should I wait until the divorce is final? If so then we may pass on a good deal we found on a home. When we do purchase this home. How do you suggest we purchase it since we are not married and have no kids together?

Please Help!

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Question #158: Hello,
I live in NYC. I have been married with my husband for 4 years, we have a 3year old son. A couple of months ago I found out that my husband is having an affair. It seemed to him to be serious; he was saying me about starting a new relationship with his lover. I moveout with my son to live with my mother about a month ago. Now he says he wants me to come back. But I don't trust him any more. If I decide I want to divorce, would the above be a base for a divorce with his fault? Would I get the custody? I'm also a student with almost no income. Is he obliged to support me as well in the present situation? Do you think it is a good idea to file a legal separation papers? What steps do you recommend me to take? Thank you

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Question #159: I left my husband almost a year ago. All of our furniture is in a storage
unit in his name. Would it be against the law to take the furniture out of
storage without asking him? We are still married, but living separately.

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Question #160: I left my husband almost a year ago. All of our furniture is in a storage
unit in his name. Would it be against the law to take the furniture out of
storage without asking him? We are still married, but living separately.

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Question #161: I live in New York State and after seven years of marriage I am now seriously contemplating divorce. I understand that I can file for a legal separation and, should things improve with my estranged spouse, we can get back together without remarrying. We currently jointly own (finance) a home and I am unclear as to my financial obligations (my name is on the mortgage) during the period of separation. If I do not make payments during the period we are not together, is that considered abandonment? Do I lose any financial rights to my home? Please advise. Many thanks.

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Question #162: I live in New York State and after seven years of marriage I am now seriously contemplating divorce. I understand that I can file for a legal separation and, should things improve with my estranged spouse, we can get back together without remarrying. We currently jointly own (finance) a home and I am unclear as to my financial obligations (my name is on the mortgage) during the period of separation. If I do not make payments during the period we are not together, is that considered abandonment? Do I lose any financial rights to my home? Please advise. Many thanks.

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Question #163: Me & my husband have been married for 3 years in upstate New York. Last
summer he convinced me to stay after i asked for a separation due to his failure to commit to starting a family, temper & unhappy living conditions among other things. I just felt we wanted different things out of life and we drifted and wanted out. We
also were living with his mother who is mentally unstable and caused a lot
of tension & problems in our marriage. I stayed to give it one more try.
My husband knew it was his very last chance. A month later, I surprisingly
got pregnant. Through my pregnancy my husband was distant and uncaring.
He said he just had a lot on his mind with work and his mother being
mentally ill and having to live under her roof. He showed no compassion or
concern for me or the baby and made my pregnancy very lonely & stressful.
i did my best to not let the stress effect me because of the baby and hoped

we could make our family work. A few days after giving birth, my
mother-in-law went 'mental' on me for no reason kicked me out of the house.
I decided to respect her wishes because I don’t want my baby in this
unstable environment and moved out. I moved into my parents’ home. (They
are also the ones who now provide his day care while i work.) The
"marital" home where we resided was owned by my husband & his mother which
was left to them when his dad died. I refused to go back because of his
mentally unstable mother and also the way i was treated throughout my
pregnancy. I had enough. My husband loves the baby and stops by almost
everyday to see the baby, but only usually stays 15min - 1 hour. I provide
all the baby’s care; feeding, changing, bathing, healthcare, health
insurance you name it. Here are my questions:
(1) WHAT ARE MY CHANCES OF GETTING FULL & LEGAL CUSTODY?
(2) CAN HE GET ME ON ABANDONMENT BECAUSE I LEFT OUR MARITAL HOME EVEN THOUGH I GOT KICKED OUT?
(3) CAN I GET CHILD SUPPORT EVEN THOUGH WE MAKE ABOUT THE SAME AMOUNT?
(4) AM I ENTITLED TO ANY OF HIS INHEIRATANCE THAT HE GOT WHILE MARRIED?

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Question #164: My husband was married for 13 years in California and divorced for 5 years before we met. We have been married 6 years in New York. I would like a divorce now. His ex has not remarried. If I divorce him, which ex-wife has the right to his retirement funds, pension, etc. Also, would it make a difference if I stayed in the marriage longer? He is 59 years old, I am 42 his ex is 56.

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Question #165: My divorce horror story goes like this. I was married to a New York
City Police Lieutenant. He punched me in the face, and a week later my
daughter and myself moved into our own place. I signed a stipulation
that allowed me to have full access to the marital residence for purpose
of childcare and visitation thereat. The first time I tried to enter
the family residence, my ex called 911. A little while after I left
him, I found out that the police department requested his resignation.
This was due to the fact that he had sexually harassed a female officer
for 4 1/2 years. I left my two sons in the marital residence, since he
made 90 thousand dollars. I had my own apartment and three jobs. I
soon found out that my ex had forged my name on Janus funds accounts and
stole 18,000. I got copies of the checks, went to the DA. in Nassau
county and was told to file a civil action. In our stipulation, it
required my ex to make the mortgage payments on the house. 10 months
after 911 he failed to make the payments, while my name was on the
house. During this time he started stalking me. I was doing a book
for Great Neck and he followed me and sexually abused me by asking for
sexual favors for money. He tried his best to mirco-manage my life. He
made constant demands of me, even though it says clearly in my
stipulation that nothing shall be construed as a duty or obligation on
the part of the wife. He harassed me constantly and was always calling
and the sexual advances turned into a sexual assault. At this time in
my life I didn't understand things the way I do now. Currently, I have
custody of the17 year old. I had to go to court to get a restraining
order to stop the harassment and the next day, he punched my son in the
face twice with a clinched fist and was found guilty of maltreatment and
abuse. I had documented my visitation for 4 and 1/2 years and I have my
boys more than 3/4 of the time. It is my belief, since I was trying to
not make his financial life a living hell, that he knew exactly what he
was trying to do to me. I had been conned. Instead of him paying me
child support, I paid him for many years until I went to court and sued
him for unpaid spousal support and also custody of my children. He
settled the case, under the advise of his attorney and gave me my son
back in lieu of 10 thousand dollars unpaid to me. It says in the last
court order that he failed to obey the order of the court and this
failure was unwillful. Otherwise he would have gone to jail for 6
months. Also, my ex did violate the restraining order, called me 12
times in 2 hours and banged on my door while I was in the shower. He
left me a threatening message and was arrested, although the detective
did not believe me because my ex told them he was a retired police
officer. I got him on tape and showed evidence to the court and the
judge told me to record everything. I am now remarried and my ex wants
me to pay half of the college expenses for my son. I am currently
applying for SSI, since I have neurofibromatosis, nerve damage and
fibromyalgia.
My question to you is do the courts order the ex non-custodial parent to pay half or is this based on a pro-rated share of income. He has done his best to try and ruin me, but I am a former U.S.
Marine and I will not let him. Please advise.

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Question #166: My wife and I have been separated for the last year and 6 months and we have a 8 year old son that we share taking care of him. My wife has move into her own apartment while I'm still in the house. I guess my question is I would like to retain the house or if I decided to sale it can I get a little more scene I been paying all the bills for the last 18 months and if there anything I can do to keep the house because we were not married when we first move in the house and she still has the maiden name on the deed.

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Question #167: My wife and I have been separated for the last year and 6 months and we have a 8 year old son that we share taking care of him. My wife has move into her own apartment while I'm still in the house. I guess my question is I would like to retain the house or if I decided to sale it can I get a little more scene I been paying all the bills for the last 18 months and if there anything I can do to keep the house because we were not married when we first move in the house and she still has the maiden name on the deed.

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Question #168: My husband has asked for a divorce. After some significant damage to my credit due to my ex's financial irresponsibility, I am seeking a legal separation until the divorce is final (which may be a while). I understand that the legal separation will not remove my name from accounts, but can I use the legal separation to prevent or remove missed payments and defaults from hurting my credit further? The large majority of our debt is my husband's debt but some of it is in my name. If the legal separation stipulates he is responsible for the debt, regardless of whose name is on the account (credit cards mainly), can I still be held responsible for payments that he misses or makes late to accounts that are in my name? Will a legal separation do me any good? Is it worth paying the extra legal fees for the separation? Thank you for your help!

[Continuation of previous Question]
Thank you for the information, but I have just one more question for you. I understand that my name will not be removed from the loan and credit cards, and when my husband pays the payments late or not at all it will go on my credit unless I pay the payments myself. My question is can I take a legal document i.e. legal separation or divorce decree that states I am not responsible or liable for the debt to the credit bureaus and have the late or missed payments removed from my credit report? Is there any way to protect my credit without having to just pay for everything my self? I was told the only way to truly protect my credit is to pay off the debts myself and then sue my husband to be reimbursed the money. Is that true? Thank you for your time!!!

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Question #169: My husband has asked for a divorce. After some significant damage to my credit due to my ex's financial irresponsibility, I am seeking a legal separation until the divorce is final (which may be a while). I understand that the legal separation will not remove my name from accounts, but can I use the legal separation to prevent or remove missed payments and defaults from hurting my credit further? The large majority of our debt is my husband's debt but some of it is in my name. If the legal separation stipulates he is responsible for the debt, regardless of whose name is on the account (credit cards mainly), can I still be held responsible for payments that he misses or makes late to accounts that are in my name? Will a legal separation do me any good? Is it worth paying the extra legal fees for the separation? Thank you for your help!

[Continuation of previous Question]
Thank you for the information, but I have just one more question for you. I understand that my name will not be removed from the loan and credit cards, and when my husband pays the payments late or not at all it will go on my credit unless I pay the payments myself. My question is can I take a legal document i.e. legal separation or divorce decree that states I am not responsible or liable for the debt to the credit bureaus and have the late or missed payments removed from my credit report? Is there any way to protect my credit without having to just pay for everything my self? I was told the only way to truly protect my credit is to pay off the debts myself and then sue my husband to be reimbursed the money. Is that true? Thank you for your time!!!

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Question #170: Hi, I live in New York state (upstate), and I was never married to the other parent of my child. We have been split up for 3 years now, but never had a custody hearing. I was engaged in December of 2005, and am getting married in August 2006. We went to mediation 2 months ago, and I thought all was fine, until he called tonight and told me that he will not sign the papers and has contacted an attorney, who has drafted another set of custody papers. In the mediation papers (that he won't sign) we have joint custody, and I have physical. I am moving 3 hours away (in the same state) in 2 weeks. He is upset that we didn't come to an agreement involving claiming the child as a dependent on our income taxes. The child lives with me, other than his every other weekend visitations. My fiancee will be financially responsible for myself and the child once we get married, and will be spending considerable more money on the mortgage, and gas & electric, and clothing, than what I get in support, I will have no problem proving that after the division of family members, we pay more for the child's living expenses than what I get in support. He is hounding me about being able to claim our child on taxes every other year. My question is why would I give him permission to do that? My child lives with my fiancee and I, WE take care of him financially, I don't want to sound selfish, but what would I gain from doing this?
Before my ex found out we were moving, he only saw our son when necessary, now he is acting like super dad all of a sudden. I don't know why he waited until 2 weeks before my wedding to spring this on me, but we went to mediation 2 months ago, which gave him plenty of time to do it prior than this. Is there any way that now, after all this time that he can keep me from moving out of the county? This move will notjeopardize him seeing his son, just as much as he has been (every other weekend). This move will also put our son in a better school with more to offer academically. The move will be very good for my son.
Please let me know why I would sign that paper giving my ex the permission to claim our son on taxes, and if he can still keep me in the county that we are in if I refuse to sign the papers. I feel like he is trying to bribe me into doing this for his financial reasons.
Thank You So Much for your time.

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Question #171: My ex-wife and I Filed for an uncontested divorce in PA. It was finalized last year Aug 2005. We were told that property distribution did not need to be done as both of us wanted to remain in our house with our kids. Now she has had her boyfriend move in and my boys and I want to move. She says that I am not entitled to anything because the divorce is final. What rights do I have?

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Question #172: My ex-wife and I Filed for an uncontested divorce in PA. It was finalized last year Aug 2005. We were told that property distribution did not need to be done as both of us wanted to remain in our house with our kids. Now she has had her boyfriend move in and my boys and I want to move. She says that I am not entitled to anything because the divorce is final. What rights do I have?

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Question #173: I have been married to an abusive husband for 24 years and we have two
children 19 who is a college sophomore and a 15 year old high school
freshman....
I write a column once a week on the computer digital edition for a
small town paper which has earned me 3400 /year my husband makes
68,000.
I filed for divorce in the beginning of April of this year he buys
what groceries he chooses, does not pay for my car being maintained
told me to get used to paying things by myself....makes the kids beg
for money if they need it ..there have been no allowances since April
1st for the kids.
what i need to know is:
since he says he's not paying for college and that my son lives at
school which he doesn’t he is home 5 months out of the year. he says
he is not paying child support for him because he will not be living
with me...my son doesn’t live at the school so i know my soon to be x
has to pay for him till he is 23 how does college work or is that
arranged thru the court if we cant figure it out with arbitration
then the judge decides? my husband wants joint custody with my
daughter who he cant get along with to save his soul it is another
ploy to not pay so much in child support i know he is legally
obligated to pay 25% of his paycheck to child support..... since we
have been married for 24 years and i am not working , i have a high
school education and did not graduate i quit working when i had my
son and became a stay at home and still do not really work only
the col that brings in 30-60 a week depending on the length of it and
what the editor uses. i am 48 years of age.....can you give me a rough
idea as to what alimony or maintenance might be percentage wise? and
how long? i have had no money and had to run my credit card up to
3,000 paying for things the kids have needed thru the months does he
have to pay the credit card or is that up to a judge? what usually
happens the first meeting what can i hope to get accomplished and
what are my rights ......i would receive retirement or social security
which was put in during the marriage or till i remarry? i mainly need
to know now what percentage maintenance or alimony would be in my
situation.. we live in new york

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Question #174: My ex & I divorced in Kansas about 2 yrs ago she agreed and I was awarded the house. I did not get house put in my name because I feared bank reaction. She also did not sign quitclaim deed as stated in divorce decree. She took the paperwork to house and sits on the Internet and researches divorce stuff.
I'd now like to sell and move she's holding paperwork hostage and now asking for half of sale (originally 1/2 of profit [probably a break even sale as truck she got-loan rolled into house payments about 6 months before divorce [approx $16,000]. now she just says half of sale.
Neither one of us followed through, as we should have after divorce. I'm not sure I even received official divorce papers, but what if anything can I do now.
One realtor said take decree to county deed office? Will they require quitclaim? And once again I'm worried about mortgage co. My credit not great after divorce although I've been the only one making payments before and after divorce.

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Question #175: My husband and I have been married 6 years (Oct. 13, 2006), he has his own business and I am making $26,000 a year, we have a dog and 2 cats, which we acquired within the marriage. He owns two buildings (only in his name) that he acquired after we were married (a 3 unit and a duplex in NY) he has been very abusive (emotionally & sometimes physically) I have just started to see a therapist because I am a very depressed person and can't handle his criticism and abuse anymore. I was wondering since we have 2 buildings, would I be able to stay in one side of the duplex and would he have to compensate me because it is more than I can afford due to him convincing me that my job was good because I have always carried insurance. He is very controlling and we are at the point of not even talking to each other and I know where this situation is going, he always tells me to leave. This is both our second marriage, the reason for his first marriage was that he was cruel and inhumane, as I was also, but I decided to be cruel and inhumane just to get out the marriage. It would be feasible for me to live in the duplex because of the animals that I have. (If I am able to keep all of them). He said that he would put everything in his sister's name and I would not get anything. I do not know a lot about this situation, but would like to. Please advise, Thank you very much.

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Question #176: Eviction of Spouse

Hello,
My husband has been served the summons, the divorce has been filed. We were married in 1999. This house was given to me by my father in 1999 before he remarried. My husband refuses to leave. His name is not on the deed. What can I do? Can I call the sheriff or police?


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Question #177: I am desperate to have an answer to my question. I am a stay at home mom with 3 young children, wanting a divorce from my husband. He just got arrested (and is released at this time) for assault in the 3rd degree (to me). I have an order of protection at this time. My question is, I know he has seen a lawyer for this incident (which just happened a week ago) and has kept the same lawyer on now beginning divorce proceedings. I think my husband may possibly be filing for legal separation (as N.Y. state only has those 3 reasons for 'fault' and there would be nothing HE could claim as true).....I on the other hand, DO want to file for divorce (under cruel and inhuman treatment) and I want to be the one filing for those reasons. I do not want just some 'separation' and then have to wait for a year to get this over with. I would like to know what would be best in my case. If his lawyer is going to send over the summons (to notify me of this) and I do not want to see that person (to get 'the letter')- but find my own attorney and file for divorce, am I able to do that (at the same time he is trying to notify me of a separation??). What would you suggest so I can bypass this notice and have him be notified of a divorce instead? Is it worth it (or beneficial to me in some way to be 'the one' filing for the divorce vs. him filing for the separation)?

Also, I have no funds at all (as he has been in total control of all the money) and cannot even pay for an attorney. I have no money or savings. Who can I go to - it seems no attorney's want to work without a large retainer and huge hourly fees - who can help me and represent me equally as well (as him) ? I know he has said before that I wouldn't 'need a lawyer' that we could use just the one, but I know he is just looking out for his best interests. I am VERY DESPERATE for any assistance you could provide. Thank you very much.

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Question #178: I am struggling to find a way to be sure that my 83 year old father's new wife doesn't original artwork that was a gift to me and that I gave to my mother, who loved the work, and I did not have appropriate wall space. There was no family information on who received what after my mother's death. After her death (Indiana) my then 81 year old father moved into an Independent Living complex, which my brother and I set up for him. I hung the artwork gifted to me on the walls. Very shortly after my mother died, my 81 year old father began living with a woman. She came to his complex and seeing the art wanted him to bring it with him to New York. He asked me if that was all right, and I said yes, thinking it would be good for him to have something from his previous life. After one year of living together, they decided to marry. Prior to the marriage he asked me if he could give the paintings to the new wife, who loved them. I said no, but he and she could continue to enjoy them. They then got married, and in the pre nuptials it states that upon his death ALL furnishings in the house go to her, and upon her death ALL furnishings (with the exception of another painting owned by my father) go to her estate.

Essentially my father, without my knowledge, has signed away my paintings to her if he dies first; if she dies first my paintings go to her adult children.

If there any sort of legal documentation or way around this? I do not have title to artwork as it was originally a gift to me from a now deceased friend. Would he have to prove ownership? Is there any kind of document that I could try to get my father to sign that would overrule the pre-nuptial?
Thank you.

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Question #179: I have been married for 16 years to my current husband. I just recently discovered he is having an affair. This is his second (that I know) affair in the past two years. He wants a divorce. This is the complicated part. Many years back, we had decided that I would stay home to raise our children. When the time came I did just that. 16 years later,8 kids, two college degrees for him and loss opportunities for my career advancement, he decides he doesn't want this marriage any longer (He is still continuing his affair). I am unemployed and need time to develop skills to reenter the job market. He is planning to put the house up for sale and move-on with his life. How can I protect my kids and me from having him leave us homeless and without financial resources? Can I regain some monetary value for helping him advance in his career while I was the responsible one at home? Should I file for a separation if I ask him to leave the house?

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Question #180: My husband and I have been married for 9 years. We live on Long Island, NY. Four years ago, my parents gifted (in my name only) $150,000.00 in equity in their home. We put 27,000.00 down (20,000 down payment, 7000 closing costs). We mortgaged the house for $130,000.00. On the side, we agreed to pay my parents $50,000.00 additional, but this was not drawn up in the paperwork. My parents sold the house for about half the market value so that I would have this house to raise my children. We now have three children.

When we purchased the house, my husband verbally agreed that in the event of a divorce, he would walk away from the house since all of the equity in the house was really earned by my father. Now, I find out my husband is cheating. He says that he wants to make the marriage work and is willing to sign a post-nup waiving all rights to the house in the event of a divorce. Can a post-nup waiving all rights to the house stand up in court? Will I need to provide “consideration” and if so, will $5,000.00 cut it?

One last question, he earns about $67,000.00 and I only earn $26,000.00 because I work part-time because my kids need me. Can you give me an idea of what I can expect for child support and alimony?

Help!!!


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Question #181: ok 3 years ago i sold my house to buy land and move to new york state with my husband of 3 years - we also purchased a fishing lodge we have been running for 3 years - i had to take a full time job out of the home because i had a better ability to make a lot more income than him. he was suppose to take care of the lodge - his contributions were minimal, however he had no issues in spending all the money i was making - for the last couple of months he has been acting very funny - i thought it was clinical depression - he denied there was someone else - however, the dummy went around telling people he was unhappy and was screwing a 24 year old - one weekend when i was out of town he even went as far as to take her to two of our friends house - i got a call and came home a day early to talk to everyone that had seen, met or heard anything about her - when i confronted him on his cell phone he still insanely denied my accusations however he was with her and when he got her back in the truck to come home and handle me his cell phone accidentally called me back and i was privy to a conversation between him and his lover about me - that night and since then (it has only be a few days) he has been shacked up with her at another lodge in our neighborhood four blocks down the road - i even confronted them myself with disbelieve the first time i saw them out there together - this was within 24 hours of me coming home to find out what was going on!! Here is my question - i have worked my fingers to the bone - he has taken full advantage of me and my finances and has obviously run off with this young girl - i aggressively want to protect what i have worked to hard for - does the state of new york take into consideration peoples actions when it come to splitting the marital assets?????

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Question #182: My parents are considering a divorce, but an attorney recommended a legal separation. They are in their early seventies and have no intent to re-marry. My father thinks he can leave her with absolutely nothing after thirty-five years of marriage.
He also wants to leave the country and go back to Italy his native country. What rights as a legal U.S. resident does my mother have and what can she do to cover her back in this soon to be stressful situation? Any information would be greatly appreciated!

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Question #183: MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR SIX AND A HALF YEARS. WE HAVE A FOUR YEAR OLD CHILD. HE HAS A HOME THAT HE PURCHASED IN NY THAT WE USE TO RESIDE IN. WE NOW LIVE IN NJ IN A HOME THAT'S IN HIS NAME. WE GOT MARRIED IN JUNE OF THIS YEAR AND EVERYTHING SEEMS TO HAVE GONE DOWN HILL FROM THAT MOMENT. MY QUESTION TO YOU IS, AM I ENTITLED TO EITHER OF THE HOMES IF WE WERE TO DIVORCE NOW EVEN THOUGH WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR YEARS BUT ONLY MARRIED FOR MONTHS? PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTION AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

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Question #184: Hi. I live in NY, have been with my husband for 16 years and married for 14. The house that we live in was my grandmother's house, which was passed to my parents. I bought the house for $1 from my parents 1 month after my marriage, as it was a stipulation in their divorce. I have lived in the house my entire life. The deed and the mortgage are both in my name alone. He worked throughout the marriage, but jumped from job to job and hardly contributed any money toward the bills. He literally spent everything he made on himself and his toys. My question is: What chance do I have to keep the house and not have to give him anything? There are 2 children and they will be staying with me.
Thank you for any information you can provide.


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Question #185: My husband and I have been married 12 years. I have a 19-year-old daughter and 15-year-old son from a prior marriage. We have a 11 year old together. My husband has never contributed monetarily or emotionally to the raising of my 2 older children. He has also not financially to the expenses of our 11 year old. The only items he's contributed to are $800.00 for summer camp and 1/2 of his football tuition (for the first time this year) I alone pay for my daughter’s full time college tuition/board and expenses. I buy all of the children's clothing, shoes, spending money, car, etc.
My husband pays most of the household bills and I pay approx. $2000 per month toward the mortgage (he pays about $400). I also buy all the food for the house. I desperately want a divorce and have instituted proceedings 2x's. We start counseling and nothing changes. My husband will NOT leave the house and I am having an extremely hard time handling living w/ him. Can I leave the house, with my two children (the oldest is away at school). I would stay in the same town so I am not attempting to keep him from his child, I merely cannot live w/ him anymore.
Also, I make substantially more than my husband, approximately $136,000 (inc. bonus) to his $70,000. This is the reason he gives for the total disparity in the amount of money he contributes. However, due to the difference in our expenses, he actually has more disposable income than I do. Also, I have made all repairs to the house. He will not pay for anything and my house is falling into disrepair. Please advise.

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Question #186: My divorces become final in August of 2006. In my divorce decree it states that my ex husband has to transfer the house into my name and to remove his name from the house. It also states that he has to transfer the deed into my name within 30 days. As you can see, it is well past 30 days. What can I do to get the house in my name? Also can I sell the house even if he hasn't signed the papers to transfer (my name was never on the house) and only use the divorce decree to sell the house?

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Question #187: My father passed away Oct 28 2005, he had not lived with his second wife for almost 12 years, before he passed he was sick and gave me power of attorney and told me what he wanted done with the money from his life insurance policy (which was to evenly distribute it amongst myself and my 3 other siblings.) After his death I found out that I was not on the life insurance policy as a beneficiary, but he never removed his second wife from the policy. After that much time apart are they considered divorced due to abandonment? If they are divorced what do I have to do to stop her from getting the money?

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Question #188: Test

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Question #189:
My husband and I have been married for almost two years. About two months ago, he told me that he was gay and is leaving me. My question is, do I have grounds for an annulment on the basis of fraud?


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Question #190: I was married 24 years. He worked for city, & retired on pension. (His second marriage) He supported me throughtout. He froze bank acct., and got a lawyer to remove me from our home. Now we have a seperation agreement, He only gave me half of december's alimony, gave it to someone else. I expect this to be a pattern. What happens now. The agreement says to pay monthly, no specific day.


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Question #191: I live in NY state. What happens if I buy houses and I am not legally separated from my wife. I left the house over 3 years ago because we had fights and I was asked by her to leave on several occassions. I finally left and have been taking care of my two daughters financially and physically (doing things with them as I had been doing when I was living there, they live with her). She make approximately 3 times of what I make. I filed for an uncontested divorce before I bought the houses, does she have any claim to them? Also, do I have to give her 25% of my gross salary, remember she makes 3 times the amount I do and her salary alone is well over $90,000.


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Question #192: I live in NY state. What happens if I buy houses and I am not legally separated from my wife. I left the house over 3 years ago because we had fights and I was asked by her to leave on several occassions. I finally left and have been taking care of my two daughters financially and physically (doing things with them as I had been doing when I was living there, they live with her). She make approximately 3 times of what I make. I filed for an uncontested divorce before I bought the houses, does she have any claim to them? Also, do I have to give her 25% of my gross salary, remember she makes 3 times the amount I do and her salary alone is well over $90,000.


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Question #193: My husband and I have been married for 10 years, he has been in the FDNY for 15 and worked for Buffalo State for 10 years with a break in service between the two. A few years ago a bill was pasted that he could by back the 10 years he worked for in Buffalo. So, he paid for those 10 years which was over 13,000 which was paid for out of his pension. Which mean at 20 years when he is able to retir from the FDNY he is really retiring at 30 years. So my question is how many years of his pension should I get?


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Question #194: Hi...I think this is a fantastic site. Hopefully you can help me out with a question.

I was seperated from my husband in early 2003. We went back and forth with the support and finally he gave in enough where I signed the papers. The divorce was finialized in Sept 2006. While we were going through the agreement (2003 - 2006), my ex-husband's company downsized and subsequantly he found a new job with less money (went from 180K - 110K). The alimony, child support and misc money which we agreed upon was based on his old salary; however when the papers were signed and went before the job, he was at his new salary.
I just got a job making $42K / year. This is my first job after 12 years of not working. My ex pays me $3000/month for alimony and $2500/month for child support. In addition he pays for my daughter's dance (4K/year) and my two son's baseball and basketball (500/year). My fear is that now that I have a new job, he will try to claim "poverty" and have my alimony reduced. Is this possible? Can I be taken back to court and how soon? Will I be given enough time in my current job (starts Feb 12th) to make sure I am comfortable and that I will stay in this field before he drags me back to court? When I told him I would need help with babysitting fees, he told me he already paid me enough and I am lucky he hasn't taken me to court based on my 'increased income". Is this possible?

Please help.


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Question #195: I am 59 years old and my husband and I have been unofficially separated for 20 years. We both retain ownership in our home on Long Island although I live there and pay all mortgage payments, bills etc. He was having an affair which broke up our marrage and he is still with that woman. I am also residing with someone. We have three grown children.I am earning approximately 55,000 a year and he is earning about 80,000. We file our taxes together. My 401 is vested at about 40,000 and his over 100,000. I have no other asset and he does have to help me financially as my mortgage payments are very high. I do not want to sell my home and he has said he would never ask for that. I am the recipient of his insurance policy and 401 upon his death. He is also mine. Right now he has met another woman of 42 years of age who is insisting he divorce. If we decide to do this, what are the repurcussions to me? Would I be entitled to any alimony, share in 401 etc. We are currently married for 40 years and if I have to I will contest this divorce.
Please answer ASAP.


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Question #196: My husband and I got married in 2004 in Lake Tahoe, California. He was a resident of California, I was a resident of NYC. Yes, it was a spur of the moment thing after 5 years of dating.

We never lived with one another. I maintained my living status here and about 14 months of marriage this way (yes I know) when I was to move there, everything went to hell and we have now been seperated since November 2005, since well I found out that after one week of seperation he had hooked up with someone else. (eeesh)

I have never received any papers of any form asking me for a divorce. Am I still married? Does he need to inform me that we are divorced if he filed papers? And if papers are filed, would I receive them by being served or in the mail?

See, I would not be surprized if he somehow forged my information to obtain a divorce but I am just concerned if I am indeed divorce because my financial situation will be changing right quick and want toknow if he has any rights to my money, if in fact we arent divorce.

My friends said I should sue him for what he is worth-but I feel its too late And just want to be rid of him.

Anyhow-the question I guess is...Can he divorce me without me knowing? And how would I find out if he did. Or can he go to Mexico and divorce me?


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Question #197: I have a simple question or at least I hope it is a simple one. I will be filing for a divorce in April after a year of legal separation. In the separation papers we agreed that my husband would keep me on his health insurance until the divorce was final. After the divorce is final, I have no means of getting health insurance that I will be able to afford. It is offered through my work at a cost of over $600.00 a month. I cannot afford this since my annual income is approximately 16, 000.00. Can I ask the courts to have my husband keep me on his insurance policy through his employer since he has to keep a family plan to keep our child covered?

Thank you.


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Question #198: My wife and moved to florida from NY State
and shortly after being here I found that my wife was
having an affair with her boss. He ownes the real
estate office and she works for him. Now before
moving to florida we listed the house thru him. Well
needless to say Im not on the deed which is not a
problem but the problem comes in is that once he found
a buyer he convinced her to quick deed the property to
him so he can sell it 4 weeks later for alot more
money so that when we go to divorce court it shows
that she made no money on the house. Now my question
here also as a licensed broker and having the affair
with my wife using his business to help her dispose of
a marital asset could he lose his license for that.
All allegations can be proven. She quick deed the
property to him for 252,000 and he sold it 5 weeks
later for 289,900. He is holdng on the the monies
till our divorce go thru. Do I have a criminal case
here? PLease help me


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Question #199: My wife and I moved to Florida from NY State
and shortly after being here I found that my wife was
having an affair with her boss. He owns the real
estate office and she works for him. Now before
moving to Florida we listed the house thru him. Well
needless to say I'm not on the deed which is not a
problem but the problem comes in is that once he found
a buyer he convinced her to quick deed the property to
him so he can sell it 4 weeks later for a lot more
money so that when we go to divorce court it shows
that she made no money on the house. Now my question
here also as a licensed broker, and having the affair
with my wife, using his business to help her dispose of
a marital asset, could he lose his license for that?
All allegations can be proven. She quick deeded the
property to him for 252,000 and he sold it 5 weeks
later for 289,900. He is holdng on to the monies
till our divorce go thru. Do I have a criminal case here? PLease help me


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Question #200: I live in NY and have two children in the 20's. My husband was having
financial difficulties with his businesses in 2002 and instead of listening
to the advice of his corporate lawyers he left me a note that hinted at
suicide and stated that he was leaving and he just didnt leave he became a
missing person. The police found him 4 months later 300 miles from our house
cooking at a restaurant and hanging out in the bars at night with a group of
20 year olds ( we are in our 40's). He left me with no income and a 18 year
old son in college.
I had to get a job and the banks forclosed on his
businesses because none of the businesses were in my name and was never
involved with them. This forced bankruptcy beyond my control. I was a fool
and took him back but never could trust him and when I told him how I felt
he said get over it and he never should have come back. After 3 years of
trying to save the marriage I realized I would never trust him and I told
him I wanted to seperate and he told me to get out I refused to leave and
one night when i wasent home he locked me out. He would not let me in to get
anything.
I called the police many times and they said get a lawyer and tell
the judge there was nothing they could do. So I started staying with a
friend and we both hired lawyers. My lawyer requested that I be allowed to
get my things and he responded by saying I took everything and nothing was
at the house that was mine. A month later we had a flood at the house that
flooded the unfinished basement. He now says he sold my things, gave them
away, and what was left was ruined by the flood. When we went to court this
information was given to the judge but he didnt do anything except order an
appraisal on the house and let my husband stay in the house at this time.
Meanwhile I have nothing except what I had the night he locked me out and a
few things I have bought. Before I retained my attorney he had his lawyer
send me a seperation agreement that he wanted me to sign and attached to it
was a list of my personal property that he was willing to give to me if I
signed it. I didnt feel it was fair and I wanted my lawyer to look at it and
when he found out I had a lawyer he said sign it now or you will never get
anything. He would keep saying if you sign the car over to me I will give
you your things. I signed the car over to him and never got anything. Then
he said if you give me the dog I will give you your things I gave him the
dog and never got anything.
I was also paying all of the bills at the house
for 3 months after he locked me out. I cannot keep staying with this
friend, I have no furniture, I want the house and I want to be allowed back
in my own house now.
Please help me he has taken everything I own and I
lived in that house for 23 years raised my two sons while he was married to
his job and never home and I have emotional attachment to it. That house is
all I have left of what I did have he has taken everything from me and no
one will help me all my lawyer is saying is the judge will address it.
The appraisal also came in and he is claiming the flood caused damage to the
house so now it has no equity but 6 months ago he said it had 50 thousand in
equity. Only the unfinished basement was flooded and I think he put in a
claim in fema.
No one will let me into my own house that I have owned and
still own for the last 23 years to even see what damage there is and if my
personal belongings are there. I heard that he is seeing another women, can
he let her move into our house now. Please help me I feel like I have no
rights.


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Question #201: I have been divorced for over 7 years and have not re-married. I still own stock with my ex-wifes name listed as one of the owners. My question is how do I have her name removed from ownership therefore leaving me as an Individual owner. Presently, I do not know where my ex-wife lives or even if she has remarried. Any help would be greatly appreciated.


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Question #202:

A few days ago I requested annulment info with regards to a marriage which took place in the nursing home where my invalid brother resides. I am going to see my brother 2 weeks from today to try to be named his proxy, guardian and power of attorney. I without a doubt believe the "spouse" accomplished this union through coercion, lies & duress. It is documented that he is afraid of her, that she is VERY controlling, & speaks for him. I further believe her intentions were to fraudulently acquire all his possesions (which were his not only before the Dec 6, 2006 union but before July 1, 2006 when he moved in with her. She was aware his inheritance was in perpituity - She would gain at the very least $50,000. She also planned to receive his Social Security. In addition he was an independent cab driver - the medallion worth approx $100,000 but also his before July 1, 2006.

Mom's will now does not include him.

If papers are filed for annulment/divorce and he passes away before the decree is granted will she collect his social security? Can anything be documented to "disinherit " her?

Can a restraining order be filed to keep her away from him?

He has suffered too much and too long at her hands. I will do anything and everything to protect him. My problem is logistics - I'm in AZ ,he is in NY. Thanks in advance for your guidance


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Question #203: I have been a stay at home dad for 4 and a half years. My wife and I just bought a house . My son has a medical condition that I had been taking care of for the past 3 years. He has improved and the doctors have said that if all goes well his respirtory problem will be gone or under control by the time he reaches kindergarten. I also have a 4 year old girl who will be starting kindergarten this September. We are still trying it sell our old home and as of right now we are around $600,000 in debt . We agreed since Robert's illness that I would stay home until he
reaches kindergarten, and then I would go back to work. She has now asked for a legal separation. She wishes to hire a nanny to live here and take care of Robert and that I leave the house and see the kids on the weekend. I have raised my kids since the day they were born. She has a member of her family who is a lawyer and therefore will not have to pay any legal fee. Is it legal for her to use her family member as her lawyer and can I refuse to leave?


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Question #204: I am looking to go ahead with getting a divorce from my Husband of 20 yrs who left me to move from TX(where I live, to NY(Queens). I want to know can I file for divorce in NY & demand spousal support. During our seperation he caused me to have a nervous breakdown, lost my job of 18yrs with Nordstorm. Having to be under a doctors care for shaking spells, etc. I look forward to your response.


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Question #205:
I am divorced in New York State and the divorce states that I pay 70% of medical expenses.

My older daughter is 21 and away at medical school - the younger daughter is 19 and away at college.

I claim that I owe 70% of the DIFFERENCE between what health insurance costs my ex
for a "parent+1 child" plan MINUS what she would pay for a single plan on her own

My ex claims I owe 70% for her "family plan" for herself and both children.

* On a side note - my ex flex spends (FSA) the entire health care amount and pays very little given these tax breaks. The court didn't seem to consider FSA when splitting the incomes 70/30%

THANKS


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Question #206: In 1995 my parents split and my mom filed for a legal separation. She was not in love with my dad any longer and told him. She served him papers for a divorce but he never signed them. He was still in love. He works for Verizon and for years gave her 300 dollars a week, i am 1 of 3 children. He also split his stocks with her, but for at least 7 years he was giving her 1200 a month. Heres the Million dollar question.:
1- My father has worked hard all these years and at 66 is going to retire has to sign the divorce papers now. Techincally he is still married to her. Is she still entitled to 1/2 of what he has? I kinda think it is unfair. I love them both, but there is a house worth atleast 800k which he dosent mind splitting, but there is a pension also.
2. My mom is being a bit greedy and mean, saying she is gonna get what she is entitled to. Now, I know that since she wanted a divorce she has had a boyfreind and she might have had one before, I do not know. But what I do know is she has one and definately has had one since the separation. Can having a boyfriend when separated lean better towards my father not giving her as much. Like I said, I love them both, but during these years, my mom has torn this family and try to blame it on my dad.

I appreciate any knowledge you can give me in helping me make my mom not as greedy.


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Question #207: I live in NJ with my two sons, ages 8 and 5. My husband moved out of our house nearly two years ago and rents a cheap apartment in NYC. Neither of us has filed for divorce yet nor do we have a separation agreement, though divorce is imminent. We will be married 10 years in October. He continues to support us, paying for the mortgage, bills, etc. He earns $130,000/yr, I earn $30,000/yr working part-time so I can care for the children. All of our property and bank accounts, etc. are still in both names and we pool all of our money to pay all bills, including his apt. These are my questions: 1. Neither of us had any assets when we married, however he entered the marriage with approx $80,000 in student loan debts from his undergrad and masters degrees. We paid off the debt together from our joint income (at the time I was earning more than he was). When our assets are divided at divorce, will that $80K be considered separate debt for which he'll have to reimburse me my half? 2. Also, in terms of gaining a more favorable settlement, should I try to stay married up to the 10 year anniversary? Will this affect alimony? I've heard that 10 years is the least amount of time to consider permanent alimony. But I'm starting to feel anxious for closure. 3. Assuming we file in NJ (we were married in NY and lived there for five years, then five years in NJ), is it in my best interest to file based on adultery (which he committed) or desertion (I opposed the divorce and his moving out) or does it not make any difference in the settlement if he just files a no-fault? We do plan to mediate, but I'd like to know what the likely results would be in a courtroom.
Thank you for any advice.


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Question #208: My husband and I are divorcing. I have a question regarding alimony. I am currently on disability for diabetes and anxiety, my husband says that since I am on disability I am not entitled to alimony. Is that true. Please let me know.


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Question #209: I am buying a house by myself. The loan is only under my name. If I get divorced, can my husband force me to sell the house or is he automatically an owner because he is married to me ?

Thanks


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Question #210: I am married for 5 years in NY with no children but
suffer from chronic illness making me unable to work.
I don't know my rights and need to get out of this
marriage.
What am I legally able to fight for?
Alimony/maintenance? Healthcare?
I am too sick for to stay in this and too sick to
leave.
Thank you


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Question #211:
First - My husband and I have been married (in NY)almost 21 yrs- both NY residents , and I have for the most part been a stay at home mom during our marriage (we have a 19 yr old college student living at home which her college funds are paid for out of our account)

- Husband is a Lt. in the FDNY -(he is 54 yrs old ) and WE own our home-mortgage free -worth approx $250,000-$300,000. He earns anywhere from $78,000-$95,000 a yr.

-Over the years - my husband has been mentally abusive to me more each year- but I have been too scared to voice it to anyone as it is he who is the one that "puts the bread and butter on the table". The mental abuse has mounted to the point- that I am at wits end .
A few years ago- i had 3 heart attacks in one yr -leading to a triple bypass - finality of it all- I am disabled - with oxygen, and have cardiac heart failure , COPD(emphysema) and Hypertension-which he is the major contributing factor.

-He has always handled all the finances , and i have no idea of what stocks, bonds etc are being deducted out of his paycheck, and I have no income and qualify for absolutely nothing - ie: Disabiltiy. I am unable to work as well.

-Even though this has been going on for years- for the past year - I live/sleep in a separate room in our home. I have talked to him about getting a divorce - and he offered me pocket change if it is uncontested. I did some reading on my own - and gave no reply.

-He said he talked to some friends at the firehouse - and they told him that I HAVE NO GROUNDS ...

-Since i have no income- i can't afford an attorney ... and don't know what to do. I'm at the point that if i can't get a divorce from his that will comfortably support me for the few years i have left -- i hope the next heart will be my last so i don't have to deal with him. Please guide me...

By the way- many years back when i was in better health and went to various FDNY functions with him - i used to overhear all kinds of stories of tricks some of these guys use to hold onto as much as they can during a divorce.....
Many thanks


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Question #212: I'm writing to inquire about 2 things.
First- my husband (of 20+ yrs) and i want to get an amicable and uncontesable divorce- and we are both residents of NY. My husband said that he will agree to any " reasonable" request i ask... plus i want to leave the state of NY permanently. Hubbie is an officer in the FDNY and i have been unemployed for many years -being a homemaker and raising our daughter who is now a legal adult. However -I did work for 2 years (2001-2003) but had 3 heart attacks - now living with Congestive Heart Failure, ACS and COPD after stent implants and a triple bypass.
We own our co-op outright. In addition to a fair financial amount i have discussed with him -plus a monthly allowance(which i am sure he will agree with)...
what else should i consider ... ie: his FDNY pension , any other pension plans he may have, medical & prescription plan (although i plan on moving immediately to another state after divorce),and will i still be eligible to collect on his social security when he and i are of age - even though he is 54 and i am almost 50(if i live long enough I am unable to collect SS disability as i did not pay into social security since 1992.)?

This is not something that just came over us overnite- it has been in the making for the past 2 years-and although we live under the same roof- we sleep in separate rooms.

*****Also- what would the legal fees for a situation such as this amount to in total for both parties- and do we each need a lawyer or can we just have one?
Thank you for your time.


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Question #213: We have been married for eight years, and are going for a divorce, and live in Rochester NY. Am I entitled to alimony? Someone told me I would have to be married at least ten years.


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Question #214: We have been married for eight years, and are going for a divorce, and live in Rochester NY. Am I entitled to alimony? Someone told me I would have to be married at least ten years.


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Question #215: I was hoping you could help me out with a serious problem I'm having. I live in NY State and I am engaged to a man that has been separated from his ex for about 5 years. When he decided it was time to start divorce proceedings, he hired a layer. His layer went to the court house to get a copy of the separation agreement only to find out that it had never actually been filed with the court although both my fiance and his ex had lawyers at the time. So, our lawyer decided he would base the divorce on abandonment, which was fine for both parties.
So, here's the kicker.. my fiance (Jim) and his ex have 2 children together. Jim pays $126.32/wk in child support out of a $300/wk income as so ordered by the family court judge, so obviously money is tight in our home. Anyway, when Jim's lawyer contacted his ex about the divorce, she wrote him an e-mail stating that she would only sign the papers if he agreed to the following terms.. 1) He must take out at least a $100,000 per kid life insurance policy on himself making his kids sole beneficiaries. 2) He must pay for half of the medical care, dental care, etc. until they are 21 or have completed college. 3) He must pay for half of all the kids extracurricular activities. Including books, sports equipment, tennis lessons, piano lessons, swimming lessons, summer camp, dance lessons, etc. 4) He must pay for half of the kids' college tuition and any bills they may incur for college.
Right now the kids are covered by CDPHP for their doctors bills and such and will obviously be covered by Jim's employment's insurance should he have that available in the future. Jim pays for the kids to play little league and soccer and the things kids do around here. We live in a small town in upstate NY and make modest incomes, but Jim's ex is living a dream. She complains about money problems, but puts the kids in piano and karate lessons, which they don't even like, just to keep up with the Jones'. We could only imagine, if Jim is forced to pay half of these things, she would be enrolling the kids in everything she could find. As far as paying the college goes.. there is no doubt that Jim will help his kids in any way he can to put them through college if he has the resources to do it, but it sounds unreasonable to ask him to pay half the expenses. With all the legal aid and such out there, he doesn't feel he should be written into something like that. And there is no way that on Jim's salary he can afford 2 life insurance policies. Jim is an only child who takes care of his wheelchair-bound father for $300 a week and $126.32 comes out of that every week. He just can't afford any of this.
So, it seems that neither Jim nor is ex is willing to budge on this matter. She is a very spiteful woman and there is no way she will change her mind about this. We are about ready to cut our loses and see if we can get back any of our money from the lawyer. But what I really want to know is how long this can go on for. Can she just hold out on these demands and never sign the divorce papers? Will Jim have to give in and let her have what she wants just to get this divorce finalized? Is there ever going to be a point where a judge says "enough is enough" and grants my fiance a reasonable divorce?
I'm sorry this letter turned out to be so long, but I just don't know where else to turn. Jim's lawyer doesn't specialize in divorce and he isn't much help on this matter. I would really appreciate it if you could please give me some advise. Thank you so much.


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Question #216: I'm not married but I have been with my fiance now 14yrs! I have a 4yr old daughter, and we just purchased a home 1yr ago in NJ. Things have not been going well in our relationship..we've tried counseling, but it didn't work. We both talked about separating, but he says he has to have custody of our daughter. Both of us are good parents, we both work, and both do our share of things around the house. He works more hours than I do, and of course I do most of the spending time with my daughter..I do all the things a Mother has to do for there child. I'm not saying he's a bad father..but I feel that I can take better care of her than he would. He say's he'll fight to the end, to have custody of her. Is there any way a judge can turn and give custody to a Dad instead of the Mother? and why? also, what would happen with our home, our belongings etc? since were not married? Please Help.


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Question #217: I am writing on behalf of my cousin, he has been seperated for a few months(less than 4) and is now thinking of purchasing a home if he does is this still considered community propery. He is living with a friend and wants a place of his own, but is not sure if the court will take it away and give half to his ex who has custody of his 2 children and does not work, please if anything will affect him let me know, and if he should wait til everything is filed please give us your opinion as well.


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Question #218: My husband had an affair in 2005 a month after my dad passed away. He lived with me, but continued to be with this girl he works with, until Sept 4, 2005 and then left me and moved in with "the girlfriend". We are not legally separated and he only pays me 502.00 every paycheck (per his lawyer) for child support. He has not paid anything for the mortgage or a loan that is in both of our names. I am falling farther and farther behind in these payments. Is he responsible to pay for them since he abandoned me and our 2 sons? If so, how do I go about it? I feel my lawyer is not working for me and am in pursuit of another. My husband is a big control freak and for doing what he did, I feel everything is going his way. HELP!


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Question #219: My friend was married in Florida in 2003. She left her husband (cruel & inhuman treatment; verbal & mental abuse) and came back to NYC in 2005, he still resides in Florida. She now wants to file for divorce, can she do so from NYC?? And will there be a problem since she technically abandoned him? Is he entitled to alimony? Is she entitled to alimony?She does not work and receives a government check for disability. We would appreciate any help....thanks!!


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Question #220: My wife and I are thinking of a mutual divorce after having lived separately for 2 years in NYC. We are both Asian Indians by origin and we were married in India in 1998. We own an apartment and we are both title holders.

What's the divorce process in NYC , how long would this roughly take if it is mutual consent, and how much would it roughly cost?
Also, what exactly does equitable distribution mean ? If I sell the apt. before the divorce process starts, would the proceeds count in the equitable distribution? Can we mutually decide the distribution of assets without involving the law?


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Question #221: I live in upstate New York. We have been married 8 yrs, we have a prenuptial I think is invalid. I had no attorney and was presented the papers 10 days before our marriage and never even saw any attorney. There has been documented domestic violence. My husband bought the land with an old house on it before we married. We knocked down the old house after we were married and built a new house which we have not mortgage for. I have paid all the househould maintenance bills and contributed to the raw material of the new house. I have recently been put out of work on social securtihy disability to never go back to work, he made 138,000 last years, but says I am entitled to nothing. We have no children together. Please advise.


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Question #222: My question is what are marital assets? I have no issue with physical possessions and those can be divided equally. My problem is that my wife refuses to engage in sexual relations with me and I am very tired with this issue. If she no longer loves me then I can live with that. Can I divorce her on that issue in the state of new york?

I live in Upstate area and would like to know. We have two children together who are 7 and 9. We both earn equal amount but seem to no longer love each other and that issue is spilling over into our relationship with our children.

Thanks.


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Question #223: We both got married in new york and now he has moved to Florida.
We have been married for 11years and separated for 8yrs (not legally)
I would like to file for a divorce but the only thing he has suggested is uncontested divorce but at this time I know he is hiding a lot and does'nt want me to know anything,as he keeps on pressuring me to sign papers but dont want me to read anything which I have refused.
He is a lawyer but at this time I dont know if he is practicing in Florida
My question I would also like to file for alimony support,but how do I go about doing that as at this time I need some finincial help in order to support myself and be able to go back to school to help me better.
I don't have any money only bills and can barely keep my head afloat.
Is this something I can do myself, but how does he get served since he lives in florida and how do I find out about what he is doing as the man is very secretive and has mentioned that he will not give me anything.
Please Advise



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Question #224: If I am seeking a divorce, and we have two houses. One we purchased when we were married, and the other was given to me in my mother's will, in 2004. Can I keep my mother's house and he keep the one we owned together. He hasn't paid bills in the other house nor my mother's house. He only pays the gas and insurance and wear and tear on the car. He uses the car for work and sometimes to take his mother shopping and etc. plus sometimes takes me shoppng, but many times I go with my shopping cart. He has two cars also, and has bank accounts with his mother as the beneficiary. I have checking accounts to pay bills, and am currently unemployed since last May. I have a tenant which helps me pay the bills in my mother's house. He starting paying the bills which is only the electric bill in the other house, plus the phone bill, as I can't pay everything like I used to. I do photography for very little, as it pays some of the groceries. He is threatening me that he is entitled to everything. We live in my mother's house because the other house caught fire in October, and will be fixed real soon. Is he entitled to everything including my parents home? Alll I am asking is my parent's home as my mother wanted me to have it, and I was raised there. He is threatening to take me off the medical insurance from work. I am diabetic and need medication to surviive. When I was working I had to pay extra money for him to get secondary medical. Any help you can give I appreciate it.


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Question #225: In a divorce, what are the percentages in NY my wife is entitle to from my 401k?

Thank you

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

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Question #226: In a divorce, what are the percentages in NY my wife is entitle to from my 401k?

Thank you

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

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Question #227: In a divorce, what are the percentages in NY my wife is entitle to from my 401k?

Thank you



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Question #228:
I live in Long Island and have been married for 20 years. My marriage hasn't been easy through the whole marriage. I have two children who lives with us, one is underage and the other one is 19. I have questions in how to start this process. I can say that I'm nervous about it because I might be left with nothing. He has kicked me out of the house every time we argue but many of my friends tell me he can't do that. He makes good money, the house is under his name, and he pays the mortgage. He has mentioned that the house is under the kids, including my step son. I am on Social Security Disability for about 5 months. Can he throw me out of the house? Will my younger child receive any money? He said I will not see a penny, meaning no alimony. I just want to leave this house and find an apartment for my kids and I but I don't have the money for it. If he sells the house, will I get anything. I have no money saved because he has told me I have to pay the gas, light, car insurance and the phone bill which hardly leaves me with anything. What are my rights? How can I start in finding out in starting a divorce process. I am afraid because he has told me i will not receive a penny from him. Please tell me what can I do?


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Question #229: I am disabled woman, my husband abandoned me over two years ago. He is living with another woman. He does not give me any financial support in two years. What are my legal rights?



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Question #230: As a stay-at-home mom and full-time homemaker living in a community property state, who for the last 20 years has belonged to a stock club. The money for investing came from gifts from my husband and, earlier, in life, from parents. Is my husband entitled to any of the shares?


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Question #231: Hi, I'm ending a 19 year marriage in the state of New York. My mother-in-law bought and put the house we've lived in for last seven years (with three children) in her name. Is the house still considered marital property? It turns out my husband and his family have made sure that "nothing" is in his name, even though I know that its only that way on paper. We lived in a million dollar home, drove expensive cars and lived very comfortably, but on "paper" my husband has nothing. Now I'm with two teenagers in apartment, and he has the big house, expensive cars, and everything we own. What are my options? Thank You


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Question #232: My husband and I were married in PR on a cruise ship. I have been with him since 2003 married 3 years now.
I have left my job to help him raise his kids 14 and 12. He asked me and I agreed as I was let go from my job a year ago.
I have worked part time to help with the finances but I was making 55k+ a year.
He is in a custody battle with his ex now for the kids.
I have 3+ years of journals of incidents that has happened with his ex and kids that it has ruined our marriage.
I always bought the extras in this house...Christmas, B-days for his kids, clothes, last minute parties I put together, been there to pick up his kids from school, emergencies, homework time....etc even when his ex did not have no one to do I was there. There has been a time or two that she has tried to physically attack me since this custody battle has been going on.

I know we have investments in our names and such, but I want to know if I can get some kind of alimony or relocation help or something to help me get back on my feet. I also had to wait 3 years for his ex to get off the insurance for him to out me on his insurance as it was indicated on his divorce papers with his ex.
He is the bread winner in this house (VP for JPMorgan for 27+ years) and I supported everyone emotionally and such.
We have no kids together. I just want to know where I stand to get out of this marriage b/c I given up a career as an accountant to be home for him and his kids!


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Question #233: My husband and I were married in PR on a cruise ship. I have been with him since 2003 married 3 years now.
I have left my job to help him raise his kids 14 and 12. He asked me and I agreed as I was let go from my job a year ago.
I have worked part time to help with the finances but I was making 55k+ a year.
He is in a custody battle with his ex now for the kids.
I have 3+ years of journals of incidents that has happened with his ex and kids that it has ruined our marriage.
I always bought the extras in this house...Christmas, B-days for his kids, clothes, last minute parties I put together, been there to pick up his kids from school, emergencies, homework time....etc even when his ex did not have no one to do I was there. There has been a time or two that she has tried to physically attack me since this custody battle has been going on.

I know we have investments in our names and such, but I want to know if I can get some kind of alimony or relocation help or something to help me get back on my feet. I also had to wait 3 years for his ex to get off the insurance for him to out me on his insurance as it was indicated on his divorce papers with his ex.
He is the bread winner in this house (VP for JPMorgan for 27+ years) and I supported everyone emotionally and such.
We have no kids together. I just want to know where I stand to get out of this marriage b/c I given up a career as an accountant to be home for him and his kids!


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Question #234: I have only been married for two years. I have two children and he has two and we all live
Together in my husband’s house that he shared with his previous wife. We are having major issues and I don’t know what to do. We live out in the country around his family. All my family live out of state so I don’t really have a place to go. I left the house this weekend because my husband and I got into a heated argument and he had disabled the van I had been driving so I couldn’t go anywhere. I called the police and they came out to the house but by that time he fixed the van. Both of our young kids were crying, it was awful. He told me that I couldn’t come back to the house. My belonging are there. Does he have the right to change the locks on me? Can I call the police again before I go back? We have been staying in a hotel but money is running low. What are my rights as his wife although my name isn’t on his house. Can he just put my kids and me out?


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Question #235: We been married for 24 years in Wisconsin, things aren't going so well anymore in our marriage. I want to get a Legal Separation to see if we can work through our marriage. He came to me saying he wants to sell our home, that we have resided in for 19 years and move to Georgia, cause cost of living is cheaper. He knows I'm going for separation and I think he wants to get a hold of the house money first. What should I do? and can he sell the house during a Legal Separation? Thank You


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Question #236: Generally speaking, if a couple who reside in New York state decide to divorce and jointly own property in California, does the California property fall under community property rules of California?

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Question #237:
Me and my husband have been married only a year. We are talking divorce. We have a nine month old son. Everything we have is in his name. He never would put my name on anything after I asked him to. Do i have to leave with my son and find a new home or am I allowed to stay here and raise my son?


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Question #238: My ex husband and I divorced in 2004. Everything was very simple, and nothing was mentioned as far as future marital assets. I continued to live in the apartment we shared after he left (he left in 2003) and just moved in September of 2009. The problem is this- the property manager in the former apartment changed 3 times since my husband left, and they failed to change the name under which the bank account was created, which held the original security deposit. My ex said time and time again he anted nothing. Now 5 years later, I tell my newest property manager I am moving, and I am told the security check will be in my ex husbands name. I speak with him regarding this, explain the errors, and he states “that’s fine, just let me know what and where I have to sign” now3 weeks later, the check has arrived in his name, he and his new wife just bought a town house, and he is claiming he never said that and is entitled to half, plus interest. Mind you- he has not paid child support or alimony, yet believes he is entitled. I know I should have had him sign something, but hadn't. Is he entitled to half? Should this have been spelled out in the divorce agreement?


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Question #239: Hi, I live in NYS. My wife and I have been married for 23 years and we started legal separation proceeding in the past month (Nov 14th). We use the same credit cards, checking account etc. If after Nov 14th she goes out and purchases items (computer, shoes), takes excessive money out of the bank account, may I responsible for 50% of these costs? These items are not needed for home etc.


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Question #240:


My mother passed away in 1999 and my father remarried about 3 years ago.. we all live in NYC. My father has a mitchell lama Co-op apartment that hes had since 1986. Its in his name as are all the bills. He put his wifes name on the affidavit just in case something were to happen to him. I think you see where im goin with this.. if they were to divorce, and i hope they do, would she have claim to the apartment.. they are both retired and he makes slightly more than she does.. if she had to she would not be able to afford the expenses of that apartment on her own. he would be able to and was doing so prior to her coming into the picture. please help .. thank you


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Question #241: My husband I live in New York State, Rochester area, we got married on 2003. He left me and moved in with someone else in 2007. We had talked about reconciliation since about 2 months after he left. Our sexual relationship has never stopped and I'm not sure if that changes anything? We have not been legally separated and claimed joint taxes for 2007 and separate for 2008, we have not decided how to file for this year yet. I love him and don't want to divorce but he says now that reconciliation is not possible, and I want him to be happy so I have no choice for the divorce, Do I??. He recently told me that he filed for divorce citing cruel treatment (or something like that). My question is how do I have the reason for divorce changed? He was having an affair and abandoned me and then he files that I was cruel!!! He said that was the best choice out of what they gave him. I am currently unemployed and have no money too file my own papers. I have tried to find the free forms he says that he used, but he says he doesn't know where he got them from. The girl he left me for is a paralegal and I think she is the one helping him, though he says they hardly talk any more. He got his own apartment last year and is working full time. He helps me when I need it and I help him with what I can. He says that he will always be there for me if I need anything but how do I protect myself? We have no children and no property. We do have life insurance for him in which I am the beneficiary for and I pay the monthly bill for it, he has told me to keep it. He does help me pay bills on occasion if I tell him I haven't been able to pay something. I'm not sure what to do and what the filing terms he used means for me in the future. Should I ask for alimony in the event he's not planning to continue to help me like he says? How do I do this so that we can continue to be friends like we want? We both say that we love each other and will always be there, but if he gets back together with the girl I know that she'll make him stop helping me and talking to me, that's why the broke up because of his continued contact with me, at least that's what he says. I am not sure what to believe any more and don't want to end up worse than I am now. Any help would be greatly appreciated!


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Question #242: My wife and I have been separated for 15 months and we met with a court referee this week. She suggested to my ex that the house be put on the market as soon as possible so we get the maximum value of the asset.

What can I do if she does not put the house on the market ? Do I have any recourse ? She is going to wait till the last minute for she does not want her life to change at all (except for me)....Can any penalties be imposed upon her like less distribution ??


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Question #243: My wife of 11 years and I have 2 7-year old daughters and we live in NY. She makes considerably more than I do. I lost my restaurant job in Oct. and she gave me an ultimatum since my career in the arts and the fact that I can't land a steady writing job has not taken off. She gave me six-months to find a job that pays at least $45,000/year or I have to leave. The six month mark is next month and I haven't found anything yet. I'm sure if I move out the next step would be divorce. We are putting our co-op on the market next month. Would I be entitled to a percentage of that sale? If I don't get a job and my unemployment runs out, ironically I would have to rely on that for child support payments. And how much child support would I have to pay? Forgive my naiveté and please keep this anonymous. Thanks so much.


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Question #244: Have been married for 23 years, have three daughters 22, still living at home, 20 at college, 16 at home
My husband has e-mailed me to tell me he is moving out, he needs to have a life, has contacted a lawyer and want s to be fair .
He has been having affairs with many women these past 4 years. I work a part time job in upstate NY, he works
Full time in NJ, has his own electrical business in upstate NY and also bartends at a catering hall. Slowly he
Has been moving things from the house that was purchased in the marriage, flat bed trailer, wine making supplies(very expensive items)
Snow blower etc. also he has started to turn in stock that was bonuses from his job in NJ and took a loan from his 401K
My questions are, can I still have claim on these items as 50/50 property , if he turned in stock and spent on himself do I have claim,
His electrical business make good money but he gets paid in cash or does not claim it on taxes how do I prove this, also with the bartending
Mostly paid under the table and claims no tips. How do I prove what he makes?


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Question #245:

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Question #246:

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Question #247: I have a question. My wife decided after 1 year and 10 months that she no longer wants to be with me. I tried going to counseling with her and she was only going for me. We finally went our separate ways. I live in the house that I bought, and bought before we were married. She is now living in a house rented, with 2 other males. She has not signed the separation agreement, and refuses to call my lawyer back. She thinks she is entitled to half my savings. Savings is in my name not hers at all. We filed 2 tax returns together and wedding money that was in the account, (all money was put into my savings account, nor a joint account) roughly 20k, this money was spent on 4 vacations and furnishings for the home which we split up. However what is left in my savings is the same amount the day BEFORE we got married. Is she entitled to half my savings even know that 20k was spent?


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Question #248: I have a question. My wife decided after 1 year and 10 months that she no longer wants to be with me. I tried going to counseling with her and she was only going for me. We finally went our separate ways. I live in the house that I bought, and bought before we were married. She is now living in a house rented, with 2 other males. She has not signed the separation agreement, and refuses to call my lawyer back. She thinks she is entitled to half my savings. Savings is in my name not hers at all. We filed 2 tax returns together and wedding money that was in the account, (all money was put into my savings account, nor a joint account) roughly 20k, this money was spent on 4 vacations and furnishings for the home which we split up. However what is left in my savings is the same amount the day BEFORE we got married. Is she entitled to half my savings even know that 20k was spent?


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Question #249:
I am from the West Indies and I married my wife 13 years ago at City Hall in order for her to get her residency (green card) in New York City. Before we got married I had properties that belonged to me and is still in my name alone. We both tried to see if the marriage would work but it did not. After a while she refuses to have sex with me every time I would initiate having sex she would push me away. After living together for 5 years I moved out because it was getting to my head and I started feeling less of a man. There are no children involved. I tried to talk to her about a divorce on the grounds of no sex or abandonment and she refused to sign. It is now 8 years since we have separated. Please let me know if I will have to share my properties with her seeing that I had them before we were married and how hard would it before me to get my divorce.


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Question #250: If both spouses made a good income over the marriage (15 years) and the wife paid for all of the mortgage and real estate and tax payments in excess of individual withholding, can she get any credit for that portion of the husband's income that was reduced for tax purposes because of the mortgage and real estate property deductions as well as increased on an after-tax basis because she paid that portion of his taxable income in excess of his withholdings by check to the government?


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Question #251: My wife and I are in the process of getting divorced in NY after 16 years of marriage. There were infidelities involved with her but she just says she was unhappy.
It really doesn’t matter anymore but the horror is just beginning. WE have 3 beautiful children all under 13 and I just want to be able to start a new life for them and myself.
My question is whether premarital stocks that appreciated can become marital with the following description of active appreciation.
My wife has long been a registered trader and broker and has managed her investment account since we have been married. She had stock gifted to her before we were married.
She managed this account that included a substantial amount of a stock that has split and paid dividends. As a stay at home trader she actively bought
and accumulated shares of the stock over the years from the dividends and interest. Unlike a mutual fund though it was not automatic and she actively bought and placed the trades.
The stock was never in my name but dividends and interest was used for living expenses at times of need. The entire account was managed
by her and was considered our retirement and nest egg. Since I earned a living enough to support our family she worked as a satellite office in the house for many years up until late as the market conditions deteriorated.
She now manages the account via Etrade but it is still all in her name. The account is still under her name and contains many other stocks accumulated during our marriage.
In addition in past years commissions were paid and deposited into this account and the monies were utilized to purchase more stocks and other products within the account.

The question now becomes whether the active participation of the entire account including the trades and purchases of more stock via dividends and the depositing of the earned income into the account
creates it as a marital asset rather than separate property. The debate is whether the appreciation of the premarital stock amount is eligible for equitable distribution and if the entire account would be
as well, due to the comingling of earned income to the account.
I am also questioning if I need to look at this as one total account itself or as each individual asset for distribution.

All of my earned income was utilized for everyday living expenses and any joint monies has been depleted. Savings was also minimal as we were overextended and never thought to put money away in both our
names since we did treat the investment account as our own. Now with divorce imminent, I am fighting for a new life and a new start. But to walk away with nothing and she gets to keep what she had over all the years just doesn’t sit right.

Any input would be greatly appreciated .


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Question #252: Divorcing in the state of WV. My husband moved out September 27, 2011; I filed for divorce in March 2011; he is living with a woman since January 2011; I have been living in our home and he wants the house as well. His name is the only one on the deed at court house; however my name is on the mortgage and deed of trust. Can he remove me from my home? Who has rights to the house?


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Question #253: Hi,
I wanted to ask a question about my divorce. I was married to my ex-wife for 5 years 10 months. I know I have to give her a part of my pension, I'm a police officer for NYPD. How much would I have to give her and is it for the rest of my life.


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Question #254: Hello.

I am a teacher with a son about to go to college, trying to divorce on a limited budget. My ex is also a teacher. We hope to be able to use a mediator, rather than a divorce attorney... but I'm trying to get enough info first to determine if this is realistic. Two of my most pressing questions:

1. When trying to divide property and assets up 50/50, what happens to a NYC Mitchell-lama coop? It has no market value, as we can only sell it back to the coop for what we paid for it, but if we were renting it on the open market, our lovely UWS 2-bedroom would probably rent for about 6,000/month, or if we owned it, sell for perhaps 800K.

2. Also, if some stocks are in both our names and some in only his name, are they all subject to a 50/50 split, or am I entitled only to half of the ones held jointly?

Thank you!


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Question #255: Me and my wife both lived and still live in NY. We got married in Oct of 2008.
We got married in NYC at the Croation church. We also bought a home this year Feb. 2011 I cannot take the stress she puts on me when we get in to an argument any more I thought she would change when we bought the home but it got worse when we argue she gets violent like curse at me swings doors open picks up chairs like as if she is going to throw at me. She mentally abuses me and I don't know what to do anymore she treats me by saying she's not going to give money for the house payment or credit cards we used to buy things for the house I will continue to pay for the house with my money I make is that good or bad and if I do will she still have the chance to keep the home or can I keep it we have no children we have separate accounts and also a joint account. I also have audio recorded have her mentally abusing me cursing, screaming, threatening to spit on me, and more.
Please let me know what can I file under and if you can do the work thank you.


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Question #256: I live in NY and have been married for 23 years. We have just starting proceedings for a divorce and I found out that my soon ex to be took out a second mortgage on the equity of our house (yes I signed because he told me he was re-financing). Am I entitled to 1/2 and should that be put into the divorce agreement?


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Question #257: My question concerns spousal support and division of property. My husband and I have been married for 26 years, live in an affluent community in Westchester county NY, and we have 2 children in college. He has had over 20 affairs during this time (I stopped counting), and has been a self-employed attorney & adjunct business law college professor for 15 years, making approximately 20k annually. He brought student loans with him to the marriage. I brought a farm that I had inherited through the death of both of my parents. For the past 4 years, I am a 50% partner in a successful business, and am about to open a new corporation shortly, and have worked our entire marriage. 5 years ago I learned of $250k of credit card debt that he had accumulated in cards with my name on the account, had not paid income taxes (though he told me it had been done), and had many delinquent bills (he insisted that I just sign over my paychecks, and he would take care of the bills), and so I had to refinance our mortgage, increasing the loan to pay off the cc debt, and the mortgage had to be put in my name only, though he is still on the deed. At that time, I made him close all the cc accounts, and opened my own separate bank account. Since then I pay all the household expenses, including all the childrens’ expenses & spending money, college tuitions, mortgage, insurances, utilities, food, travel, etc….also I have started filing “married filing separate” tax return this year.
I have reached the end, and think I would be much happier if I was not in this marriage (this is not because of anyone else, I have never committed adultery), and my children are at an age that they can understand this splitting. But, how likely is it that I will be sucked dry of all that I have worked so hard for (I am 52 yrs old)? Will I have to give up my house, my company, pay him spousal support, etc… because he prefers not to work to his ability, prefers to stay home, sleep late, etc? Am I better off just continuing to pay for everything now, and hope that I will outlive him?


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Question #258: My partner and I in the process of purchasing a condo and I want us to sign a legal document saying we split everything 50/50
with no issues if we were to ever break up. What document could I use?



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Question #259: With agreement with my soon to be ex wife, I pay for our sons day care which is $811.00 per month which is far beyond my means but she cannot afford either. During this time I do not pay for child care however we agreed that when he is not in daycare and when he finishes daycare, I will give her the required 17% that New York says I have to give. My question is if she starts asking for child care, who is responsible to pay his day care? Please help me. Thank you.


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Question #260: My husband and I are separated. Two months after the separation he filed for divorce. According to the separation agreement, my husband had to pay the car off by May 1, 2011 and transfer the title to me. He still has not done this. I will get a 155.00 decrease in my homeowners if I use Allstate for both car insurance and homeowners insurance. What can I do? can I request money from him for the late payment?


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Question #261: Hello! My husband and i have been married for 4 1/2 years. For the most part, things were good with a flare up every 6 months. My husbands flare ups have been occurring regularly now and he rips me apart verbally. He will then ignore me for days until he is ready to speak again. I love him but cannot continue to feel uncomfortable in our home. The home we share was left to him when his father passed. He claims he added me to the deed but i have never seen it. If I move out because of his verbal assaults would this be considered abandonment? After moving can i then contact a lawyer to start divorce proceedings? Also, if I leave first, would i lose any entitlement to money?

thank you!


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Question #262: My husband and I have just separated. We live in Massachusetts. My question is I own 2 homes before we were married, does he have any legal right to them if we get divorced?


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Question #263: Love your website which is so helpful to people who desperately need help for divorce!
I'm living in Atlanta, Georgia. My husband is a self-employed, he made twice as much as mine but he is financially irresponsible. I added his health insurance on my employer sponsored family plan during our many yrs marriage. Now I lost my job and filed for divorce because he treated me badly for years. May I claim to compensate for my contribution to his part health insurance? Another question: He spent fortune on his model train layout during the marriage. I don't know exactly how much the value is. May I demand him to report the value?
Thank you very much! I look forward to hearing from you soon!


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Question #264: Love your website which is so helpful to people who desperately need help for divorce!
I'm living in Atlanta, Georgia. My husband is a self-employed, he made twice as much as mine but he is financially irresponsible. I added his health insurance on my employer sponsored family plan during our many yrs marriage. Now I lost my job and filed for divorce because he treated me badly for years. May I claim to compensate for my contribution to his part health insurance? Another question: He spent fortune on his model train layout during the marriage. I don't know exactly how much the value is. May I demand him to report the value?
Thank you very much! I look forward to hearing from you soon!


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Question #265: I have been married for 5 years, and now I want a divorce. Â the reason would be "cruel and unusual treatment". He has been emotionally abusive, cheated in the beginning, calls me names, insulting, etc. I tried leaving in the past and he has always returned me from leaving, apologized told me he loved me etc. Now after 5 years, I guess his feelings have diminished - he is the one who is constantly suggesting divorce, telling me to leave, and there is a weekly scene and name-calling on his part. I have a son from a previous relationship, he is now in high school. He is being quite strict with him as well, and not in a "normal, healthy" way. He picks on him, calls him names, etc. I can't take this situation anymore.

Here is my question. He owns a business and he owns a condo in which we live in. Also, I used to work however, after we got married he wanted to me to stop working, and help him with business. I now work there 3-4 times a week. Do I have a right to the business and the apartment?


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Question #266: I have a few simple questions about a very complex derailed divorce proceeding. we married in 1975 in New York. After 25 years of marital hell, my husband was arrested for spousal abuse. I filed for and was granted a one year permanent order of protection. I subsequently discovered that he had corresponded with a dominatrix and was a cross-dresser with an extensive collection of perverted pornography, some women's wigs and various s & m items.

In 2000, he filed for divorce shortly before I did. We have maintained separate residences since then. During 4 years of contentious negotiations, I was led to believe, even by my own lawyer, that the equitable distribution of our joint assets would be very complicated and could leave me in financial ruin. Just days before the scheduled date of the trial, my new attorney felt that the judge would almost certainly dismiss my husband's case due to the false charges he had accused me of and advised me to proceed as such. He said that it would give me additional leverage to negotiate a mutually agreeable settlement. After less than an hour the judge threw the case out.

My lawyer never even attempted to contact my husband's to discuss settlement, My husband and I have, for the most part, maintained a good relationship for the majority of the past 7 years. We lead separate lives and maintain separate bank accounts.

For 5 years after our separation (not legalized) I continued my teaching career and opened a 403 B account. Will the money I saved and the time accrued be considered joint marital assets? Although we are co-owners of the house I currently reside in, my husband has not financially contributed towards any household expenses in any way. I took out a $100,000 mortgage to do necessary repairs and renovation. Will I be held responsible for that debt? Could it be possible that the legal distribution of our assets will be calculated from the action that I originally filed in 2000?

We have not been able to reach an acceptable settlement in 11 years. Please don't respond with a simple "try mediation". I need answers to my questions. You have long maintained this site to advise people honestly concerning their legal rights in divorce proceedings. I thank you in advance for your time and consideration.



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Question #267: after 32 years husband moved out this past week end
He is a VERY successful business owner since 2003 -refinanced the house to start business in 04- now has removed a safe with large amounts of cash & important documents what can I do?? has purchased new vehicles & computer what are my rights there ? they were for the business so he says he has NO grounds for divorce christ I was the perfect wife though I did lose my job after 14years from a school district due to budget cuts I am 55 years old he is 52 I cannot find a job what would pay me enough to support the house which by the way was "sold" to us by my mother for $10 and she was granted life residency
There was in the past physical abuse and there is a lot of mental abuse - I am not allowed to speak for fear of being told I complain all the time

I have NO money for a retainer hate the idea of using credit cards to do this he will NOT go to counseling says they always blame him ....

HELP please !!!


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Question #268: In December I will be married for 2 years. I see this marriage coming to an end soon. During this short marriage, my parents bought a house that my husband and I live in. Both my parents name, along with my name is on the deed/title/mortgage. Not my husbands. If we get divorced, is he entitled to any part of this house?
Also, I am disabled, living on disability from before he and I got married. I was and am not working. Will I be entitled to alimony or any other funding from him to help me financially?


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Question #269: Hello’’ I live in Westchester County NY, my husband and I have been married for 6 years he is a dentist and the soul financial maker I am a house wife, he pays all the bills because I cannot afford to pay them suddenly he decides to walk out on me and said he’s not coming back and he won’t be paying any more of the bills..he owns everything is in his name, I am totally dependent upon him..so my ? do I have any rights is he still legally obligated to continue to pay the bills so that I can stay in the house….


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Question #270: I live in upstate NY. My husband and I have been married for 17 years and are currently having problems, but not planning on Legally Separating or Divorcing yet. This is due to the fact he is going on temporary assignment for one year to Hong Kong. Part of our problems is that he is having an affair. Amazingly enough I feel that is not the biggest issue. The biggest issue is the 19 yr. old he has decided to financially support without my knowing it for 3-4 months and eventually discovering he had been doing it since May of this year 2011, and that he is still doing it. Since May he has given and spent at least $15,000.00 to $20,000.00 on the 19 yr. old. Most of it from a line of credit and the rest in cash. He had a joint checking account with her and most recently has co-signed on a car loan with her. Under two occasions recently the Credit Union we bank at has taken money out of our joint account because she did not make the payments.

My husband has done all of this behind my back. We are extremely financially strapped. And because of this he has put us more in debt. I have had to sell jewelry and scrounge for soda cans to sometimes buy groceries for us and that includes our 12 yr. old daughter. My husband makes a good salary - $120,00.00 a year, but we are in deep trouble. He says he is going to continue to financially help the 19 yr. old even when he is in Hong Kong. He will be in Hong Kong from December 2011 - December 2012.

His paycheck has always been deposited into our joint account. For 17 years I have always had access to it (deposited money, transferred money, withdrawn money, kept track of bills being paid etc...). I learned about him financially supporting the 19 yr. old by checking our accounts. Now because I do that and question him on what he is doing he has decided to shut me out. So here is my question, questions.

What are my rights? Can he cut me off from seeing, knowing how much money is there every two weeks and accessing it? Right now I have to trust him and wait for him to give me money.

I hope you can help me with this. The answer I seem to get is to start either Legal Separation or Divorce Proceedings. Because he is leaving in two weeks there isn't time and we were waiting till he came back. You ask why - I have a lot of medical problems, one of which is Parkinson's. We need to make sure we do the right thing to make sure I have GOOD medical coverage.


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Question #271: I have been married for 11 months. My husband and I separated in April and he moved back in the end of October and he is out of the house again. Before he moved back in I financed a car which he has been using. I filed for divorce in September but did not have him served. He said he consulted a lawyer who told him that the car was consider a marital asset so that he is entitled to it. Is this information correct?


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Question #272: I live in New York, been married 10 years, and wife is considering separation / divorce. In regards to only the gifts given to each other during the marriage, and not from others outside of it, ( only since my gifts were mostly very expensive jewelry I bought for her, from which the question arises) is this considered separate property or community/marital property in the state of New York? Thank you.


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Question #273: Hi....I am a stay at home mom of 14 years with several children..some still young. My husband is very controlling and has all the bank information, debit cards and bank information. He just last night told me he will not give me a penny . I have been living like this for months and feel like there is no way out. He has let the health insurance lapse on my children all the way down to no longer putting gas in the car. I contacted legal aid..they said they can't help. Do you have any advice or can you refer me to someone? I feel completely trapped..like there is no way out. I contacted crisis services and they told me he is a domestic abuser..all except physical according to an abuser wheel. I am in NC..do you know of anyone who could help me? I am desperate to get away from this situation.


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Question #274: I am thinking of getting a divorce after 6 years. When I got married I did not have any money. My mother passed away and left me money and a house that I have to split with my brother. I was and still am the main bread winner in the family and my husband has not worked in over 3 years. I paid for medical all the bills and now that I am unemployed am still paying all the bills and he has not paid anything. I bought a home and both of our names are on the deed.

Is he entitled to half of what I have or get when I sell the house my mother left to me and my brother.

Thank you for your time.



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Question #275: I've been married almost 6 years and I'm considering divorce. We were married in Las Vegas, but reside in Arizona. Also, we never filed the document in our state. I'm still in our home but we barely speak and sleep in separate rooms. We have 3 children (2 whom are biologically his). I have received a gift (large sum of $$) from a relative who won the lottery for me to start my life over. The gift was put into my personal acct, his name is not on it and I've never used it to pay for anything in the home. Is he entitled to half even if it was given only to me??

Please help!


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Question #276: I have been married for 16 years since 1996, we have one 11 year old child together and we have had custody of his son since he was 3 years old, he is now 21 and will be graduating university in a few months. I have been on permanent disability since 2004 for a spinal disease & a chronic pain condition. My husband makes about 106,000K, I make on Social security disability aprox 19,800.00K. We live in a home my mother gave to me in 1990, it is worth aprox 439,000. 1999 we took out a home equity mortgage in my name for 59,000K for adoption, the balance is still $59,000. He will NOT pay this down. He has asked me to put his name on this house and to leave 1/2 to HIS son (from a previous marriage). He has screamed DIVORCE one too many times So, I cannot put his name on this house as I have NOTHING ELSE, no savings, not even life insurance. When he divorces me I do not want to have to give him 1/2 of what this house is worth and have to make a new life, who knows where.

He says he is leaving because he hates our neighborhood in Queen NY, (he was raised & lived in Brooklyn most of his life) I want to stay here until my mother passes she is aging and needs me now more than ever, His parents are both deceased many many years now. He wants to live on Long Island and is willing to leave his family to live a life on L.I. He has about $250,000K in HIS 401K account.

My question is, because I cannot work anymore, and my income is not enough to run this home, will I be entitled to alimony and will I be entitled to keep my home without having to sell and give him half.

Thank you


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Question #277: Hello,

I received monies from my mother's life insurance policy a couple of months ago. The money has been sitting in a total control account solely in my name. Me and my husband are about to file for divorce. I have read that he is not entitled to any of my inheritance as long as the account is separate, but is money received from a life insurance policy considered inheritance?


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Question #278: I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 11 AND A HALF YEARS. MY WIFE WANTS A DIVORCE. I HAVE BEEN UNEMPLOYED FOR 3 YEARS. I WORKED PRIOR TO THAT AS A PERSONAL FITNESS TRAINER. I USUALLY EARN BETWEEN 25-33 THOUSAND $ A YEAR. SHE MAKES 100 THOUSAND $ A YEAR NOT INCLUDING BONUSES. WE LIVE IN A TOWN HOME, WE BOUGHT SHORTLY BEFORE MARRIAGE. THE HOME IS IN HER NAME. SHE HAS AGREED THAT WHEN SHE SELLS IT WE WILL SPLIT THE PROCEEDS. SHE HAS A 401 AND OTHER INVESTMENTS. WHAT AM I ENTITLE TO.
THANK YOU.


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Question #279: My husband and I have been married for 18 years in New York State. We have an 18 years old son together. I moved out of "his" house in November 2009 because of daily excessive arguments and him hitting me on 2 or 3 occasions. We never got a legal separation.
I "owned" a condo before we got married. He "owned" his house before he married me.
During the marriage, I acquired a house in Atlanta, Georgia and he now owned a house outside the country of his birth Trinidad and Tobago. He now resides in Trinidad and Tobago for most of the year. He comes to NYC in April to get his taxes done and then he leaves the country.
Under what grounds can I get a divorce and would we have to sell the properties between us. He is retired and gets a monthly pension.

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Question #280: Hi!
I am married but living separately since September 2010. Filed Divorce in August 2011 and then drop the case. Still living separately and on the process of buying a house. Will he be a problem for me? I am living in Texas. I am trying to work on my relationship with my husband but I am not sure whether I will be able to live with him again or not.


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Question #281: Hi, I am a 30-yr old mother of two, my kids dad and I have been married for almost 10 yrs come march, I do not have a job per the agreement we made while we were in the same household together, because he didn't want me to work, only to see about the kids and house, that was cool up until about 4 yrs ago when his mistress, with whom he lives with now, came on the scene. All I want to know is what i am entitled to or is there any type of financial help I can get. I do receive child support and one of my kids get SSI but it's still not enough to move into my own place and get a vehicle to carry my child back and to her doctor’s appointments which I do by myself. I just need to know what I am rightfully entitled to now that we are getting a divorce.


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Question #282: Hello. I have been married to my 2nd husband since 2006, he is from new Jersey but moved here to Buffalo to Marry me and move into my home with my 4 kids. In 2009 we had a baby girl. I am pretty sure this marriage is heading for divorce, early in the marriage he cheated on me and I found out 2yrs into the marriage. My question is that would I be forced to let him take baby to new Jersey to have visitation with him there, or would he have to visit her here in Buffalo. Also what is he required to pay in addition to child support, does he have to pay maintenance, I'm a stay at home mom, and only baby sit a few days a week. We have a vehicle that has him as a Cosignor and has both our names on the bank papers for it... Please could guide me as what to do? :(:( stressed in Buffalo.


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Question #283: I owned 50% of my house prior to marriage. The remaining 50% was transferred to me as a gift. If I was to get a divorce now, will the second 50% be considered marital property? There is no co-mingling of marital funds in paying for the upkeep of the house, so her contribution is zero. Additionally, both of us reside in the house now. Will she have any legal right to my house? Additionally, I brought another property during the marriage. Again no co-mingling of marital funds involved and is under my name only. Does she have any legal claim to the second property? I am in NYC. Thanks for your time.

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Question #284: My wife and I are a lesbian couple who were married legally in Massachusetts four years ago, (11 years ago we had a ceremony for family and friends in California.) I have always remained a NYC resident she is currently a MA resident but planning a move to CA in a couple of months.

She left me for another woman a year ago then came back to me sixth months ago and she has now decided we should divorce. I had a three times as large income for eight years of our relationship and then went onto disability and was covered by her medical insurance. We both moved to NYC then I got Medicare. We split our mutual fund in half when we first separated even though I had invested an extra $20,000 into the house and paid the full mortgage because she was in graduate school in MA and paying rent there and I had a larger salary in NJ still a NYC resident though. We sold the house, I invested the deposit and what we made off of the house $65,000 in a mutual fund which then had a large loss we sold the shares and got out 35,000. So when she first cheated we each took $17,250 out which we each felt was generous to the other.

I have had my name only on a rent stabilized apartment in NYC for 27 years. We both lived here since 2010 until she again decided to divorce.

She has very wealthy parents who just gave her a $30,000 gift and she has a job and next year will be awarded a fellowship about $20,000.
I live on disability $1,100 a month and my Medicare premium, $110 is deducted each moth I also have to legally have another insurance Sterling $300 a month and Cigna prescription drug $100 a month. My rent in $750. She used to pay half the rent, and cable, telephone, utilities and food bills. I now am helped by the generosity of my friends. I am a person with a disability, MS, who lives in poverty.

So my question: Can I contest this divorce for infidelity and get any money from her. How much would that cost? Should we file in MA where she now lives, CA where she is moving or in NYC where I have always lived? How much would it cost uncontested and how much would it cost contested?
She is insisting I pay half. Can she legally do that? Can I legally insist she pays for the whole divorce?
Can we divorce in NY? We are both now here more often. Do we need to appear in court together ever?

Is gay marriage any different than straight marriage in these states?

Thank you so much for your help. Seriously distraught and stress can make my illness much worse. I have incurred new health costs since this has all begun.

ps. We shared a dog who she has left me paying for veterinary, boarding and food costs.



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Question #285: My husband owned the home prior to our marriage, it is in his name only. I have contributed money to renovations and monthly mortgage and bills. We have been married 2 years and have a 9 month old baby and I have 2 boys from a prior marriage. Can he force me and the kids to move out or do I have the right to buy him out and keep the children in the home? Thank you.


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Question #286: My Ex husband wants me to move out of the house and sell it, he wants 50/50 of the money, I don’t want to leave my home. I have a 17 and 12 year old, what are my chances of the courts granting me the rights to keep my home and him sign over a quick deed. Also, because I can’t afford to pay the monthly payments and my ex is not giving me any support, I am having my boyfriend move in with me to help me with things. Is this okay? My kids love him and he is a great guy, my divorce will be final on 6/11/12, I am just waiting my court date right now to discuss assets. I am asking for only child support the house and my car, he can have anything else he wants.


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Question #287: After 20 years we have agreed to get a divorce in NJ. The Judgment states that we will split our marital assets 50/50, including 401K's, Pensions, and IRA's. The pensions are being divided via QDRO and the date for this division was determined to be April 25, 2011 which is the date my wife first filed for divorce. My 401k balance as of that date was $66,000. In November 2011, the balance increased to $88,000.

Here is my question: Which “balance” of my 401K will be used when divided it 50-50. The $66k balance as of April 25, 2011 (when my wife filed for divorce and when we agreed our Pensions are to be divided) or the current balance of $88K, the increase of which occurred in November 2011?


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Question #288:
My ex-wife and I divorced in Louisiana in Dec 2011. She remained in the home we jointly mortgaged. We still live in Louisiana and in the divorce decree we were granted an equal and undivided one-half interest in all community property. (blanket statement…non specific) I recently attempted to seek financing for another home but was denied as I am still liable for the previous home. So I asked my ex-wife to refinance the home in her name and I would not seek my interest in the home until she sells it otherwise. Now at the closing bell, she has presented me with a Quitclaim deed which reads: “(me the seller ) who declared that for and in consideration of the price of One And 00/100 Dollars ($1.00), cash in hand paid, receipt of which is hereby acknowledged by Seller, and full acquittance and discharge therefore given, Seller does hereby sell, transfer, assign, quitclaim, remise, release and relinquish unto Purchasers, all of the rights, title and interest which said Seller has or may have in and to the following described property.”

If I sign this quitclaim deed, do I relinquish my rights to the divorce decreed equal and undivided one-half interest in all community property, namely my interest in the home?


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Question #289:
My ex-wife and I divorced in Louisiana in Dec 2011. She remained in the home we jointly mortgaged. We still live in Louisiana and in the divorce decree we were granted an equal and undivided one-half interest in all community property. (blanket statement…non specific) I recently attempted to seek financing for another home but was denied as I am still liable for the previous home. So I asked my ex-wife to refinance the home in her name and I would not seek my interest in the home until she sells it otherwise. Now at the closing bell, she has presented me with a Quitclaim deed which reads: “(me the seller ) who declared that for and in consideration of the price of One And 00/100 Dollars ($1.00), cash in hand paid, receipt of which is hereby acknowledged by Seller, and full acquittance and discharge therefore given, Seller does hereby sell, transfer, assign, quitclaim, remise, release and relinquish unto Purchasers, all of the rights, title and interest which said Seller has or may have in and to the following described property.”

If I sign this quitclaim deed, do I relinquish my rights to the divorce decreed equal and undivided one-half interest in all community property, namely my interest in the home?


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Question #290: My wife was married before we were in the state of Florida. That is also where they divorced. As part of the divorce agreement, he kept the house, the pets, and his truck. All she received was her car and a painting of no value. Also as part of the divorce agreement, he was to pay the mortgage, his truck, the past due vet bills and a couple of other bills, and she would pay her car. She has paid her car every month on time and has not missed a payment, putting a good mark on his credit. He on the other hand has lost the truck, the house went into foreclosure, and none of the bills were paid, as all the bill were in both of their names, it has hurt her credit, and we are not able to buy a house. She is selling her car, paying off the balance, and will make a profit on the car. Because his name is still on the loan, he has to sign to agree to sell the car. He said he wants half of the profit in order to agree to the sale. Does he have a right to the profit since the court gave my wife the car, and he has ruined her credit? If we get to cash the check for the profit, do we have to give him half? Is there a way to go after him for failing to do what he agreed to, which has an impact on our life? Thank you very much for any help!


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Question #291:
My husband and I were married in California in May 2010. We bought a house in NY state, and currently reside there together, but are separating. He is moving back to California, and I will remain in our home in New York State. We may decide to get a divorce. Where should we file for that once we're ready? I've noticed that New York State requires a separation agreement first. What legal steps should I be thinking about right now?

Thank you!


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Question #292:
My husband and I were married in California in May 2010. We bought a house in NY state, and currently reside there together, but are separating. He is moving back to California, and I will remain in our home in New York State. We may decide to get a divorce. Where should we file for that once we're ready? I've noticed that New York State requires a separation agreement first. What legal steps should I be thinking about right now?

Thank you!


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Question #293:

I looked on your website and could not find my exact situation:

My husband and I have been married for 4 years 7 months and we have (2) children together 11 and 4. He has decided to move out of the home where we currently reside in he owns the condo. The condo we reside in as been put on the market as a short sale and is in the process of being sold as it has already been approved.

He is now moving to a new apartment alone in 2 weeks and states I can reside in the condo until the short sale comes through.

Under my definition isn't this abandonment? I work FT, and he is a NYPD and retires next year. also works PT as a professor. Our 11 year old attends private school, and the younger one is in a private FT daycare, which I currently pay for. I cannot afford to pay their schooling and other bills in the home and also leave to find a new place. He is not talking about payments and seems to feel that as long as we are still living at the condo that is his contribution. We are all under his medical insurance as well. We do not have any property or assets together the home is under his name and was purchased before we got married.

I would like to know what are the steps I need to take to once he moves out in 2 weeks.

Thank you.



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Question #294: I have been married for approx. 3 months. Prior to the marriage I was a widower and retired with a city pension. My home is in my name and since the marriage I have continued to solely pay for the mortgage and expenses on the home. I made home improvements that were completed and paid for by me solely prior to the wedding.
My question in divorce, is she entitled to my pension, part of my home or my investment accounts that are solely in my name and she has hers In her name? The only commingled funds are a checking and savings account with funds from wedding gifts.

Her income exceeds my current income without calculating my pension.

Thank you.



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Question #295:
I have been married for 27 years but my husband and I have been separated for about 18 years. My husband lives in the state of NY, retired military and now works for the department of defense. I live in Georgia where my husband and I decided we would settle down after he retired. He went overseas and when he returned he made one excuse after another why he was not able to come home to stay. It was always something with the job. When he retired he got a job on the installation where he worked as a soldier. Then his excuse was he couldn't find a job in Georgia. I have always worked part time as I raised out daughters who are now 22 and 25 years old and in college. We are now in the process of getting a divorce and we both have attorneys. This is not something I wanted but my husband has made it clear now that he is not committed to this marriage even though he had been helping financially every since he has been gone. He has admitted to being in a relationship and having a 15 year old son. He has offered me $1,600.00 a month for ten years and a life insurance policy. My attorney feels that's a good offer in that we have been separated for a long time. I don't think this is a fair offer and I know what the entitlements are in that we have been married for over 10 yrs while he was in the military. What are the laws in NY with marriage and separation? We are not legally separated. Does the time we have been separation affect what I am entitled to through the military?


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Question #296:
I have been married for 27 years but my husband and I have been separated for about 18 years. My husband lives in the state of NY, retired military and now works for the department of defense. I live in Georgia where my husband and I decided we would settle down after he retired. He went overseas and when he returned he made one excuse after another why he was not able to come home to stay. It was always something with the job. When he retired he got a job on the installation where he worked as a soldier. Then his excuse was he couldn't find a job in Georgia. I have always worked part time as I raised out daughters who are now 22 and 25 years old and in college. We are now in the process of getting a divorce and we both have attorneys. This is not something I wanted but my husband has made it clear now that he is not committed to this marriage even though he had been helping financially every since he has been gone. He has admitted to being in a relationship and having a 15 year old son. He has offered me $1,600.00 a month for ten years and a life insurance policy. My attorney feels that's a good offer in that we have been separated for a long time. I don't think this is a fair offer and I know what the entitlements are in that we have been married for over 10 yrs while he was in the military. What are the laws in NY with marriage and separation? We are not legally separated. Does the time we have been separation affect what I am entitled to through the military?


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Question #297:

I have been married for 19 yrs and my spouse and I have grown apart. We have a 21yr old son in college out of state. My wife is on social security disability and does not work, but I think she could if she wanted to. Before I leave our house I wanted to know if there were any legal ramifications of me doing this, such as, abandonment? We are trying to work out the separation but I wanted to make sure I'm not giving up any rights once I leave the house?


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