Question #314

I have an urgent question and would appreciate a prompt response, please. I met my husband 16 years ago overseas. We were married 14 years ago. We have one child, a seven-year-old boy. We live in NYS. I brought my husband here through a marriage visa and taught him English and how to drive. I left my Pharm D program to support him typing applications for months while we moved in with my parents, who supported us. My father took out loans (as my husband did not have any money) to pay for his 33 residency interviews. During the residency, I typed all his medical notes and worked 30 hrs a week, as his English wasn’t that good.
I continuously gave up great job opportunities in my field to support him and help him. Once he was finished with residency, he decided to apply for a fellowship. I typed his applications every single day, I did everything for him, many times while he slept. During the marriage, when he was angry, he was abusive, verbally, and sometimes physically. However, there were good times, and he was kind at times. 2 years ago, his mother became ill with terminal cancer and moved into our home, while I was finally concentrating on my studies (boards). I took care of her with him for six months; she then passed away. However, when she was here, she was at times rude to me, and she did cause a considerable strain in the marriage, making the problems worse. As soon as she passed, when we thought we could find some normalcy. My father became ill and was in the hospital for six months. We found out he has pancreatic cancer with a poor prognosis. Thus the past two years have been extreme stress. Since about six months ago, my husband started to pick fights with me for no reason, which made me so angry, because he wasn’t there for me with hardships I’m facing about my dad like My entire family was for him. I thought he was just crazy. However, a few weeks ago, he has been so adamant about an urgent divorce. I had asked him to move out last year, and he didn’t. Long story short, I thought it was so heartless that he is asking me to sign with a mediator RIGHT NOW that my father has such limited time left. However, I found out he is cheating on me with a nurse at his job. He doesn’t know that I know. I tried to talk to him, and he was going to change his mind, but she texted him all night and changed his mind back. I explained that I could not go through two major crises at once, and he seems to be in such a rush. I think this may have something to do with her or her finances . I also just found out that he opened a Money market for a lot of money, and possibly wiring money elsewhere. I feel like I don’t know him anymore. Not only am I going through my father’s crisis, but I’m also ill right now, this is the worst possible timing of him to do this to me. I just don’t understand it. I have injuries from an accident. I have untreated sleep apnea and a boatload of other stuff going on. I am not even sure if I can handle what I’m going through with my dad and functionally taking care of my dad with my illnesses. The additional emotional devastation I will incur from his leaving us high and dry, after everything I sacrificed for him. If he is emptying accounts and putting things in his name, does that not get divided? Can you think of a financial reason he is rushing me so much? What can I do to protect myself and my little boy? Is there any way to delay this process so I can deal with my father first? I got our joint checking account statements, and I do not see any withdrawals for the amount he deposited into the money market. Is there any other way he is getting money? Please advise on these questions asap. I’m so sorry for the long post. If he is emptying accounts and putting things in his name, does that not get divided? Can you think of a financial reason he is rushing me so much? What can I do to protect myself and my little boy? Is there any way to delay this process so I can deal with my father first? I got our joint checking account statements, and I do not see any withdrawals for the amount he deposited into the money market. Is there any other way he is getting money? Please advise on these q’s asap; I’m so sorry for the long post.