SPOUSAL SUPPORT

Nov 27, 2018

Question #257:My question concerns spousal support and division of property. My husband and I have been married for 26 years, live in an affluent community in Westchester county NY, and we have 2 children in college. He has had over 20 affairs during this time (I stopped counting), and has been a self-employed attorney & adjunct business law college professor for 15 years, making approximately 20k annually. He brought student loans with him to the marriage. I brought a farm that I had inherited through the death of both of my parents. For the past 4 years, I am a 50% partner in a successful business, and am about to open a new corporation shortly, and have worked our entire marriage. 5 years ago I learned of $250k of credit card debt that he had accumulated in cards with my name on the account, had not paid income taxes (though he told me it had been done), and had many delinquent bills (he insisted that I just sign over my paychecks, and he would take care of the bills), and so I had to refinance our mortgage, increasing the loan to pay off the cc debt, and the mortgage had to be put in my name only, though he is still on the deed. At that time, I made him close all the cc accounts, and opened my own separate bank account. Since then I pay all the household expenses, including all the childrens’ expenses & spending money, college tuitions, mortgage, insurances, utilities, food, travel, etc….also I have started filing “married filing separate” tax return this year. I have reached the end, and think I would be much happier if I was not in this marriage (this is not because of anyone else, I have never committed adultery), and my children are at an age that they can understand this splitting. But, how likely is it that I will be sucked dry of all that I have worked so hard for (I am 52 yrs old)? Will I have to give up my house, my company, pay him spousal support, etc… because he prefers not to work to his ability, prefers to stay home, sleep late, etc? Am I better off just continuing to pay for everything now, and hope that I will outlive him?

No one should be forced to remain in a marriage that he or she can no longer tolerate simply for financial reasons alone. Because you are holding your home as joint tenants on the deed, your husband has an equitable interest in such property despite the fact that you are the sole party on the […]

Nov 27, 2018

Question #241:My husband I live in New York State, Rochester area, we got married on 2003. He left me and moved in with someone else in 2007. We had talked about reconciliation since about 2 months after he left. Our sexual relationship has never stopped and I’m not sure if that changes anything? We have not been legally separated and claimed joint taxes for 2007 and separate for 2008, we have not decided how to file for this year yet. I love him and don’t want to divorce but he says now that reconciliation is not possible, and I want him to be happy so I have no choice for the divorce, Do I??. He recently told me that he filed for divorce citing cruel treatment (or something like that). My question is how do I have the reason for divorce changed? He was having an affair and abandoned me and then he files that I was cruel!!! He said that was the best choice out of what they gave him. I am currently unemployed and have no money too file my own papers. I have tried to find the free forms he says that he used, but he says he doesn’t know where he got them from. The girl he left me for is a paralegal and I think she is the one helping him, though he says they hardly talk any more. He got his own apartment last year and is working full time. He helps me when I need it and I help him with what I can. He says that he will always be there for me if I need anything but how do I protect myself? We have no children and no property. We do have life insurance for him in which I am the beneficiary for and I pay the monthly bill for it, he has told me to keep it. He does help me pay bills on occasion if I tell him I haven’t been able to pay something. I’m not sure what to do and what the filing terms he used means for me in the future. Should I ask for alimony in the event he’s not planning to continue to help me like he says? How do I do this so that we can continue to be friends like we want? We both say that we love each other and will always be there, but if he gets back together with the girl I know that she’ll make him stop helping me and talking to me, that’s why the broke up because of his continued contact with me, at least that’s what he says. I am not sure what to believe any more and don’t want to end up worse than I am now. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

In order for your husband to get a divorce in the State of New York he is going to have to have grounds. The grounds he chose was apparently cruel and inhuman treatment. He will have to provide some form of testimony or evidence to support his contention that in fact there was cruel and […]

Nov 27, 2018

Question #229:I am disabled woman, my husband abandoned me over two years ago. He is living with another woman. He does not give me any financial support in two years. What are my legal rights?

If he was supporting you during the course of the marriage, you can sue him for spousal support. If you wish to get a divorce you can sue him based on abandonment and for spousal support. Leonard M. Weiner, Esq. / Divorce Solutions

Nov 27, 2018

Question #228:I live in Long Island and have been married for 20 years. My marriage hasn’t been easy through the whole marriage. I have two children who lives with us, one is underage and the other one is 19. I have questions in how to start this process. I can say that I’m nervous about it because I might be left with nothing. He has kicked me out of the house every time we argue but many of my friends tell me he can’t do that. He makes good money, the house is under his name, and he pays the mortgage. He has mentioned that the house is under the kids, including my step son. I am on Social Security Disability for about 5 months. Can he throw me out of the house? Will my younger child receive any money? He said I will not see a penny, meaning no alimony. I just want to leave this house and find an apartment for my kids and I but I don’t have the money for it. If he sells the house, will I get anything. I have no money saved because he has told me I have to pay the gas, light, car insurance and the phone bill which hardly leaves me with anything. What are my rights? How can I start in finding out in starting a divorce process. I am afraid because he has told me i will not receive a penny from him. Please tell me what can I do?

Let me start from the beginning. First, your husband has no right to kick you out of the house. In the event that happens again call the police. If he becomes violent you can ask for an order of protection and he will be forced to leave the house, not you. Under no circumstances should […]

Nov 27, 2018

Question #223:We both got married in new york and now he has moved to Florida. We have been married for 11years and separated for 8yrs (not legally) I would like to file for a divorce but the only thing he has suggested is uncontested divorce but at this time I know he is hiding a lot and does’nt want me to know anything,as he keeps on pressuring me to sign papers but dont want me to read anything which I have refused. He is a lawyer but at this time I dont know if he is practicing in Florida My question I would also like to file for alimony support,but how do I go about doing that as at this time I need some finincial help in order to support myself and be able to go back to school to help me better. I don’t have any money only bills and can barely keep my head afloat. Is this something I can do myself, but how does he get served since he lives in florida and how do I find out about what he is doing as the man is very secretive and has mentioned that he will not give me anything. Please Advise

You can sue him for divorce in NY and he will be required to complete a sworn affidavit outlining all of his assets and liabilities. If you cannot afford to pay for an attorney, the court will make him pay for your attorney as well. In a marriage of 11 years, you should be entitiled […]

Nov 27, 2018

Question #221:I live in upstate New York. We have been married 8 yrs, we have a prenuptial I think is invalid. I had no attorney and was presented the papers 10 days before our marriage and never even saw any attorney. There has been documented domestic violence. My husband bought the land with an old house on it before we married. We knocked down the old house after we were married and built a new house which we have not mortgage for. I have paid all the househould maintenance bills and contributed to the raw material of the new house. I have recently been put out of work on social securtihy disability to never go back to work, he made 138,000 last years, but says I am entitled to nothing. We have no children together. Please advise.

There are two basic issues here. 1. The division of marital assets and whether the house is considered a marital asset. 2. Whether you are entitled to spousal support. In order to properly answer these questions I would have to examine the prenuptial agreement that you signed , and to find out more details about […]

Oct 31, 2018

Question #219:My friend was married in Florida in 2003. She left her husband (cruel & inhuman treatment; verbal & mental abuse) and came back to NYC in 2005, he still resides in Florida. She now wants to file for divorce, can she do so from NYC?? And will there be a problem since she technically abandoned him? Is he entitled to alimony? Is she entitled to alimony?She does not work and receives a government check for disability. We would appreciate any help….thanks!!

If your friend is living in New York for two years or more she can file in New York. The fact that she left him to go back to New York , will not affect the cruel and human treatment grounds. With regard to who is entitled to alimony , a more detailed understanding of […]

Oct 31, 2018

Question #218:My husband had an affair in 2005 a month after my dad passed away. He lived with me, but continued to be with this girl he works with, until Sept 4, 2005 and then left me and moved in with “the girlfriend”. We are not legally separated and he only pays me 502.00 every paycheck (per his lawyer) for child support. He has not paid anything for the mortgage or a loan that is in both of our names. I am falling farther and farther behind in these payments. Is he responsible to pay for them since he abandoned me and our 2 sons? If so, how do I go about it? I feel my lawyer is not working for me and am in pursuit of another. My husband is a big control freak and for doing what he did, I feel everything is going his way. HELP!

Your attorney should have filed in Family Court for maintenance and support , which would provide support for you and your child. In order to determine how much your spouse should provide, he will have to produce a sworn net worth statement and past tax returns. You will also have to provide a sworn net […]

Oct 31, 2018

Question #215:I was hoping you could help me out with a serious problem I’m having. I live in NY State and I am engaged to a man that has been separated from his ex for about 5 years. When he decided it was time to start divorce proceedings, he hired a lawyer. His lawyer went to the court house to get a copy of the separation agreement only to find out that it had never actually been filed with the court although both my fiance and his ex had lawyers at the time. So, our lawyer decided he would base the divorce on abandonment, which was fine for both parties. So, here’s the kicker..myfiance (Jim) and his ex have 2 children together. Jim pays $126.32/wk in child support out of a $300/wk income as so ordered by the family court judge, so obviously money is tight in our home. Anyway, when Jim’s lawyer contacted his ex about the divorce, she wrote him an e-mail stating that she would only sign the papers if he agreed to the following terms.. 1) He must take out at least a $100,000 per kid life insurance policy on himself making his kids sole beneficiaries. 2) He must pay for half of the medical care, dental care, etc. until they are 21 or have completed college. 3) He must pay for half of all the kids extracurricular activities. Including books, sports equipment, tennis lessons, piano lessons, swimming lessons, summer camp, dance lessons, etc. 4) He must pay for half of the kids’ college tuition and any bills they may incur for college. Right now the kids are covered by CDPHP for their doctors bills and such and will obviously be covered by Jim’s employment’s insurance should he have that available in the future. Jim pays for the kids to play little league and soccer and the things kids do around here. We live in a small town in upstate NY and make modest incomes, but Jim’s ex is living a dream. She complains about money problems, but puts the kids in piano and karate lessons, which they don’t even like, just to keep up with the Jones’. We could only imagine, if Jim is forced to pay half of these things, she would be enrolling the kids in everything she could find. As far as paying the college goes.. there is no doubt that Jim will help his kids in any way he can to put them through college if he has the resources to do it, but it sounds unreasonable to ask him to pay half the expenses. With all the legal aid and such out there, he doesn’t feel he should be written into something like that. And there is no way that on Jim’s salary he can afford 2 life insurance policies. Jim is an only child who takes care of his wheelchair-bound father for $300 a week and $126.32 comes out of that every week. He just can’t afford any of this. So, it seems that neither Jim nor is ex is willing to budge on this matter. She is a very spiteful woman and there is no way she will change her mind about this. We are about ready to cut our loses and see if we can get back any of our money from the lawyer. But what I really want to know is how long this can go on for. Can she just hold out on these demands and never sign the divorce papers? Will Jim have to give in and let her have what she wants just to get this divorce finalized? Is there ever going to be a point where a judge says “enough is enough” and grants my fiance a reasonable divorce? I’m sorry this letter turned out to be so long, but I just don’t know where else to turn. Jim’s lawyer doesn’t specialize in divorce and he isn’t much help on this matter. I would really appreciate it if you could please give me some advise. Thank you so much.

You need to change lawyers! You need an attorney experienced in matrimonial matters who can assist you. What his spouse is asking for does not sound unreasonable, but I do not have all the relevant facts to offer a serious opinion. Life style, disparity in incomes, needs of the child, etc. are all relevant issues. […]

Oct 31, 2018

Question #213:We have been married for eight years, and are going for a divorce, and live in Rochester NY. Am I entitled to alimony? Someone told me I would have to be married at least ten years.

DO not listen to such people! Your getting spousal support will depend on you and your spouse’s income status, whether you are capable of earning on your own (i.e. work experience and training, etc.), standard of living while you were married, etc. Leonaed Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.

Divorcesolutions.com

Divorce Solutions

Question #229:I am disabled woman, my husband abandoned me over two years ago. He is living with another woman. He does not give me any financial support in two years. What are my legal rights?

Question #213:We have been married for eight years, and are going for a divorce, and live in Rochester NY. Am I entitled to alimony? Someone told me I would have to be married at least ten years.