Question #40: My husband and I have been legally separated for several years and now would like to legally end the separation and resume our marriage. What process do we need to follow? Thank you.

You should file a Post-Marital Agreement providing among other things, such as present and future interests in property, etc., that the Separation Agreement is Null and Void.
If you are living in the NYC metro area, please call me to discuss
my preparing such agreement for you.

Divorce Solutions
Leonard M. Weiner

Question #39: I’m hoping you can help me! How do I go about finding if a divorce has been filed. My fiance has been away from his wife for 8 yrs. I have done searches for her with married name, but she comes back with pre-married name. She has deed with another male and children associated with her. We want to get married and don’t know where to start finding if she divorced him. Can you please help guide me? Thank you for your assistance.

Your “fiancé” should have been served with a Summons and Complaint if a divorce proceeding was commenced.
In any event, try checking under the wife’s Maiden name in the county in which she is now living.
Also, check under your “fiancé”s name as well.
Please be aware that if there was no divorce, your “fiancé” will be committing bigamy if he marries you.
That means your marriage would not be valid and it is grounds for an annulment.

Good Luck!

Leonard Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #38: I was divorced in New York state in July where I used to reside. I was to pay maintenance if my ex husband kept some martial debt paid and he had a time frame in which to do this. He never was in the timeframe that the stipulations of the divorce called for. I started paying the bills and never sent any maintenance. He has filed an order of enforcement in New York. We both live in Florida now and he has been here since July 2008 and I moved here in May 2007. Can I have that moved to a Florida court now since we both reside in Florida and have been here longer than 6 months which does establish residency. Should I go to a lawyer in Florida to have it moved to a court here? Anxiously awaiting a reply since I have to be in court by March 17. Thanks for your assistance.

Sounds like you should have the matter changed to the court in Florida where you now both reside.
Be sure to collect all the pertinent documents, court orders etc. to present to the court in Fl.
You should most definitely consult an experienced matrimonial attorney in your jurisdiction for advice about how to best change venue and jurisdiction to FL.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #37: I live in Brooklyn NY. I served my husband with divorce papres last February 15 in court for my my husband’s appearence regarding a Family Court Order of Protection I’d gotten on him. After this he broke that Order, as well as the Criminal court order of protection given me for breaking that one. I was advised to plea bargain him by both my lawyer, and the Brooklyn DA on the case, for the breaking of both Orders, so as to save his NYC Fire Marshal job, which I did do. I am , however , extremely worried now if that was the right thing to do, as I thought my lawyer had intended on our bringing the real charges against him later on, as he kept telling me one step at a time when I would explain to him my fears, and the new threats I’d discovered my husband implemented. i’d only found out other charges were not brought against him when the DA told me the night before I was advised to Plea bargain him, that there weren’t any other charges (even though I’d explained everything that happened to the precinct detectives and D A on a couple occasions. The DA kept telling me I should bring him my evidence, yet never allowed me to by just stringing me along till the night before he was to be plea bargained for breaking the Orders. My husband was, however made to go into a batterers program by the judge,but now my lawyer seems to think its ok to settle the visitation aspect of our divorce with unsupervised visits after 90 days of supervised visits with my sister. My kids fear him, as well do I, but I am told I could always go back to Family court if somethings not working out with regard to his doing anything. . I am also advised that I need not worry about my Order of Protection as if he does anything I should just call the police I am advised. But that scares me too, because he likes to sabatage my house and cars sneakily, or follow me etc. and I so I cant catch him that easily. You see, he had also stolen a FDNY surveillience camera from his Fire Marshal job on the down low I am told, to use on me (as i had suspected he had in the past) , as well as another unsuspecting female who came to me and told me he drugged her to video having sex with him, without her knowledge , I assumed to get back at me because I discovered his recorders. He had his police buddy edit it and put it on a official NYC police DVD which just happened to all fall in my lap. I hadn’t even known what i had at the time (this time last year) because he told me it was just another of his tape recorders he had on me at first. After all my complaints to the civiliant complaint review board ( as his threats to throw away his job by doing something crazy, or to use it against me and other’s, as well as to kill people, forced me to seek help because people were actually following me and trying to get what I had found. so I literally went for my Order of protection out of sheer fear, even though he kept changing his mind back and forth as to whether he wanted it back then, or not. Investigators from OCCB did come to speak to me twice regarding the cop’s involvement, as well to look at the DVD …yet no one ever came to speak to me about my husband ..the main culprit, even though I was told they would. My husband had been extremely physically, mentally and emotionally abusive to me for years right in front of my chlidren , having hit me, choked me, and punched me on numerous occasions., as well as breaking things in the house directly and sneakily. I really thought he’d lost his mind from when he worked as a corrections officer, (as he’d often grab me the way an officer would grab an inmate), or from 9/11, or from alcohol. I thought he didn’t know what he was doing when he’d get so abusive and threatening and crazy. which is why there are only three police reports since 2002. I was always afraid to call the police on him. He would gaslight me and make me think I was crazy and that he could read my mind as he had often tape recorded the house, cars, and phones on and off for years…all of which I now happen to have him on tape admitting to. But my lawyer never wanted to even hear any of it and now even is advising that I give the FDNY camera back to my husband , who told me he had bought another to replace it until he returned the one with serial numbers on it….. His lawyer had told mine six months ago hat he had to get the camera back then to save his job…But I knew they’d never fire him just from all he’d already gotten away with. I’d found out just before plea bargaining him last June that the FDNY is claiming they know nothing about any missing camera now….yet my husband is threatening me about it still today, and we’re not even supposed to talk because of my Order of Protection, but we have been because I am trying to reach a settlement in our divorce case without us financially losing everything, of which I feel like I am on trial because I seem to have to constantly prove truths, and disprove his lies to my lawyer. Its been since last February and today was the first meeting ever with him and hus lawyer to discuss things, as depositions have been constantly cancelled and pushed ahead ( by his lawyer…my lawyer says…by my lawyer ,my husband says) I am told by my lawyer that I do not want to go to trial. Implying that it will cost more than we can afford, as my husband showed up last February after the order of protection with a high priced lawyer. I even have my husband admitting to forcing himself on me and threatening to kill people and have them arrested on tape, as well as breaking both Orders of protection. When the police came each time he broke the Orders of Protection to arrest him , they changed their minds once they saw who he was, as he knows many in that precinct because its where his Marshal base is. Had I not persisted and gotten cameras around my house to video him breaking the order, or tape him breaking it , he wouldn’t even have been arrested for either of those. He’d deliberately put himself in rehab for alcoholism three times prior to all this just because he’d attacked me in a candy store and the police were called by patrons who pulled him off me (all because i discovered he had a date). He was arrested for breaking through our own rental property not long after his third stay in rehab (and third time he was thrown out of the sober houses the FDNY made me force him to stay in, instead of allowing him home which at the time I thought only angered him more towards me , but was really just a way to afford him the ability to come here sneakily and begin taping me and videoing me again (as after his third , thirty day rehab stays, when I caught him cheating with someone he met there, he came home being abusive and then urged me to find someone else because he didn’t want to hurt me anymore he said and wanted me to be happy and for us to do our own thing, as he’d done before.) But Right now my biggest worry is that my lawyer is urging me to settle without supervised visits of my three kids who wont even pick up the phone to his court scheduled times to call daily, and fear his temper, and drinking, and haven’t seen him since last january because the one time a supervised visit was even scheduled with my sister as superviser, he ended up having to work he said afterward. When he calls they wont get on the phone and he tells me not to force them to. They anger at me for even talking with him for fear he will “trick ” me again they say. I am trying to settle our issues so as not to hurt either of us.

If you really fear that your spouse will physically hurt you or your children, you should insist with both your attorney and the Court that his visitation be supervised and done at the precinct where he can be monitored. Your first and foremost duty is to
protect yourself and your children.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq/Divorce Solutions

Question #35: SERVICE OF PROCESS Can you tell me if it is possible to personally serve a defendant in Kazakhstan ? A family member who is not party to the divorce is going to meet with the husband in October. It is a little like an international spy game, the wife has only a cell phone number for the husband for the past two years and he wires money for support of the children, but is otherwise untraceable. He cannot be lured back to NY to accept service and court previously rejected service by publication. Any ideas on how to approach this?

Prepare the summons and complaint and have the family member serve him when he is in Kazakhstan in October. Then have the family member execute an affidavit of service. It may be helpful also to have an affidavit from a witness at the time when the summons and complaint was served.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #34: I would like to ask, what is the time frame to remarry after you signed the divorce papers? I reside in NYC, and just recently signed my divorce papers in May. I want to remarry right away, but don’t know how long I have to wait. My Ex and I did an uncontested divorce, but he wont give me anymore info about it, so I would like to know, how long I have to wait. Thank you

You must wait until you get a signed copy of the Judgment of Divorce from the Court and have it recorded in the County recorder’s office. The amount of time it takes depends on the backlog the Court has in the County you filed the divorce papers in.
If you filed in any of the counties in New York City, it is not uncommon for the wait to be three months or more.

Good luck!

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #32: My boyfriend and I live in columbia county ny and his wife lives in schoharie county ny. They have a legal separation since 1985. They have 2 children who have been with foster parents since then. Their ages are 20 and 21 at this time. She filed for a divorce a week ago. My question is do you think they could be divorced by May 7, 2005 ? We are planning a wedding by then should I put it off? Thank you

It certainly is possible to get done in time if they get the proper legal advice and

cooperate in the process.

I strongly suggest they seek out an attorney-mediator in the county

having jurisdiction over their divorce who has experience in matrimonial matters.

Good luck!

Leonard Weiner, Esq./ Divorce Solutions

Please call me at 212-370-1660 to arrange for an appointment to discuss the matter at greater length.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #31: My husband and I got married in Las Vegas on October 11, 2003. We were just buddies, we knew it wasn’t a good idea but we did it anyway. We’ve had enough now and we need a divorce. He loves the conveniences my income provides him, but he’s not in love with me. We purchased nothing since we married (so there’s nothing to split or divide between us). We have no children either. I now know that he has a serious drinking problem (he openly admits it and is seeking outpatient help). Unfortunately, his drinking has interfered with his relationships for as long back as he can remember and he is not succeeding with any of the programs he’s tried. Frighteningly, when he drinks, he is also very violent. He has been so with me as well, to the point where I’ve embarrassingly had to call the police to quiet him down (twice) upon my return home from the hospital after having suffered a near fatal heart attack. Since my return from the hospital 2 weeks ago, he has been drunk on 3 separate occasions (last night being the most recent). His drinking is highly dangerous to my condition considering the cardiologist told him I was not to be upset in any way. Needless to say, I’ve been taken back to cardiac ICU by ambulance since my release as a direct result of his drinking behavior. His ex-wife and two boys live a few blocks away from us. Now that I have met his ex-wife, I can say clearly that she is a fine person that has done an excellent job single-handedly raising their two boys. I have not told my family (my parents, uncles, colleagues) that I have married this man because I know this will not last. I thought it best to divorce quietly and for us each to get on with our lives. He is in agreement. He is very sad about not being able to succeed with his sobriety and states that he understands that I must move on. Tell me how much this will cost since we’re not arguing against each other and are in agreement. We live on Staten Island.

It is unfortunate that you have come to this realization regarding your husband and his problem only after you have been married to him for almost two years, instead of having spent more time prior to the marriage to get to know each other better. Nevertheless, because of the potential for additional physical abuse and impairment of your health, it is imperative that you now take all the necessary legal steps immediately to separate amicably and get on with your separate lives. If your husband is prepared to cooperate, which from your letter appears that he is, you should have little trouble in preparing and filing the necessary papers and getting your divorce. My fee is $300 per hour and the total fee will depend on how many hours it takes for us to discuss all of the issues involved( which in your case seems quite limited since there are no children, custody or spousal support matters to be resolved), drafting the Separation Agreement, and the Divorce Papers.