GROUNDS

Oct 29, 2018

Question #234: My soon to be ex-wife and I moved to New York 7 months ago for the greater good of our two year old, and right before we left she asked me for a divorce. She filed first having a divorce lawyer as a family friend in California. What state has jurisdiction? I have to respond to the filing in 10 days. Do I have to respond at the California court house or can I mail them in now that I live in NY? Mediation is done through the telephone evidently. Any advise would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

I order for New York to have jurisdiction, you must be living in NYS for 1 or 2 years depending on Specific circumstances. It appears from your description of the situation, that CA has jurisdiction. You must respond to the Summons and Complaint. I strongly suggest that you speak to your wife about mediating, rather […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #233: I recently got married at the NYC city hall 2 weeks ago. We were a happy couple until we started talking about finances together. Basically, he refused to financially support me and called my parents to support me until I graduate my education. In this process, my husband’s hatred towards me became overboard and became verbally abusive and threatening. We are not currently living together but I could not stop thinking about the chances of physical abuse if I were to be around him. I am scared to stay in this marriage. He also wanted to end this marriage. Should we go for annulment or divorce? Thank you.

You do not appear to have sufficient grounds to seek an annulment or even a divorce in NYS. You must wait a minimum of 6 months and then can file for a “ No Fault” divorce. If there is any possibility of physical abuse, you should not put yourself in danger. Please contact me at […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #232: I am writing this on behalf of my daughter. We parents are staying in overseas. Our daughter is in H1B visa, staying in NY from June 2013. She said she married to one guy who is in student visa just 2 weeks ago (Nov 6th 2015) without our (parents) knowledge. She was in love with the guy since many years but we parents did not approve it due to religious grounds. She was complaining about depression from few months. She might have married to the guy during depression or by some pressure or the guy is fraud as we parents of lot of assets. 2 days after the marriage she called us & told that she urgently got married because she thought parents will take her back from United States as we were supposed to arrive at NY on Nov 9th. We planned this trip almost in early September with the consent of our daughter to stay with her for 2 weeks. Surprisingly, she made a hasty decision. In this case, is there any way our daughter can get annulment or divorce immediately? We are trying to findout why & what exactly made her to take such a hasty decision. If it is because of depression, is the marriage valid? We were told, she was not taking any medication for depression but she used to call depression hotline. What sort of documented evidence is required to prove she signed marriage license during depression? Or the guy is fraud, may be interested in our property or using our daughter’s H1B visa to get shelter after his studies etc. If she is willing to accept that she made hasty decision without clearly thinking about the future consequences, in what ground we can help to get divorce or annulment? How long it would take? How much it would cost? Looking forward to hear from you.

Under the relatively new “ No Fault” law in NY , after 6 months your daughter can apply for divorce. Without having to claim any type of fault, but just to state that the marriage has broken down irretrievably for a period of at least six months. Please get in touch with me when you […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #209: Please tell me what can be done in my sad situation: Hi, name is Anna, I have a question to ask, I’m with a mature gentleman who’s legally married but separated. He told me he’d rather send legal wife her money because he feels threaten that she is going to take him to the poor house because he receives his veteran’s check, social security and job pension, and that’s the real reason why he cannot divorce her. He lives in Puerto Rico, and his wife lives in Buffalo New York. Note: They never had children together, I live in New York City, and he has been separated from her a very long time. Before me he formulated another relationship after his separation, and all the while he remained married paying alimony. My concern is I talked to him about why he should divorce because she has eight adult children of her own from a previous marriage; he married her for her religious reasons when he fell in love with her. He doesn’t own any real estate property that I’m aware of, and now his legal wife receives social security because she is also a mature lady plus alimony. I’m not a home wrecker; their marriage dissolved way before I came into the picture. And now they live miles away from each other for several years. I told him find a lawyer in Puerto Rico or here to help because I don’t want to be the other woman, I want to be the new legal wife. When he was living in Buffalo New York, before moving to Puerto Rico, he fell seriously ill with a heart problem and was hospitalized, his back then common law wife if you will, couldn’t stay at the hospital to be by his bedside because his separated “wife” after learning what happened to him showed up, declaring her status as being his wife, she showed proof, therefore stopping anyone she didn’t want there from seeing him, while the “wife” did nothing for him but get her alimony money. That’s not right but it proves that the title “wife” carries a lot of weight. I don’t want that, he said that a judgment was passed for legal separation by a judge, and that he has to support her whether he likes it or not, and a divorce is impossible, but he never showed me any paperwork proof, etc., stating or proving that it’s true…seeing is believing, but I decided that if he doesn’t want to get a divorce because he is scared of losing more money to her and that it is an uncomfortable, complicated, costly process for him, I’m not going to press on insisting, I know when no means no, and I’ll leave it alone. And I assume that he doesn’t love me enough to get a divorce, and I will pursue to have a new relationship with a man who is not married or legally divorce with papers to prove it so I don’t have to write to no lawyer. I know that Ex-New York State Governor Paterson signed a revised divorce order perhaps that can hopefully change things. She’s tossed in Buffalo, he’s retired and lives in Puerto Rico going on four years over there, I can’t understand why he can’t divorce? I suppose she would have to pay a lawyer if she wants to contest. I believe that he can get a divorce if he wants to being they don’t live in the same place but you know more than me in the material. I hope you can give me some good news. Thank you and good day.

You are correct. Your friend can file for divorce in NY based on the new no fault provision. His financial obligation to his wife will depend on the terms of the Separation Agreement signed by Them. Ask to get a copy of it and see what it says . Good Luck! Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #195: My husband of 3 years and I separated because of his infidelity. I have phone records, emails, etc as proof. We married and resided in NYC. If I sue him for divorce on the grounds that he committed adultery, what does that entitle me? We have no children and did not own a home or anything else together. Is there anything to gain by making this the reason we’re divorcing, or is it the same if I just go the friendly route and claim irreconcilable differences? Please advise…

The grounds upon which the divorce will be granted will generally not affect the Court’s decision regarding the distribution of assets or the determination of spousal Support unless the grounds are so egregious as to “shock the conscious” of the Court. Please be aware that NY State still does not recognize “irreconcilable differences” as grounds […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #192: My boyfriend and I have been together since 2000. I found out he is married. He moved in with me. His wife knew about me and called my home. He went back to her. They took a vacation together. He came back to me. They sold their marital home and split the money 50/ 50. He moved into an apartment. I moved in with him. They have not seen or spoken to each other in over ten years. She bought a new home. He bought a new home. What would the grounds for divorce be? I am under the impression that it could not be for adultery since she slept with him after she knew about me. How can divorce proceedings be started without him having to speak with her?

If He is a resident of New York State, New York now has a no-fault divorce provision in which an individual who is married, and the parties have been living separate and apart for over six months without any intention to reconcile, may file for divorce without any additional grounds. If he is a resident […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #189: I was told that you answer questions about divorce. I would very much like your help. I was married in N.Y. State in May of 1998. We all still live there. The marriage produced 2 children. I have walked out on him due to an online extra-marital with a woman. We have gone to family court and we both have joint legal custody of the children. I have asked for a divorce but he has refused. I do not wish to change the custody arrangements. However, my question is: how may I secure a divorce as soon as possible? I was told by a friend it was possible to go to Reno, Nevada and receive one immediately without his signature. Is that doable? If not, how else can I obtain one asap? Thank you.

No need to go to Nevada anymore! Under the new law in NYS that went into effect in October, 2010, if you have been separated for more than six months and there is no prospect of the marriage reconciling, you can file for divorce w/o having to assert fault on the part of either party. […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #188: My boyfriend who has been separated from his wife for more than a year finally got his papers for a divorce last week. In the papers his bitter wife wrote inhuman and cruel treatment. (we all live in the state of New York Rochester to be exact) he’s had enough with her and just wants to officially not be connected to her. Although he doesn’t agree with the reason he said he will sign it and mail it back to the divorce lawyer to get it over with. We don’t have money for a lawyer they have no kids no house no assets basically and the debt they had they split it in half and really have no ties. We have no knowledge of all this divorce terminology and called the same divorce lawyer who said he will not have to go to court and it will be an easy divorce. (I am unsure if he was looking at the interest of the divorcee or divorcer) anyway we want to get married eventually and was wondering if he needs to think twice about what he is about to sign especially if he doesn’t agree with it (will he go to jail for admitting inhuman and cruel treatment even though that is not the case?) is it really a clean divorce since they don’t have any ties? would it jeopardize him when he remarries in this same state? and is there even such thing as having a divorce and not even going to a court? how long does this usually take from when he does sign? Sorry for all the questions we called a legal aide who said to go ahead and sign it there should not be a problem but I can’t help but to think there is another meaning to her (wife) ways and if she tried to trick him since she was holding out for so long and is upset he is moving on ? please help.

Under the new Statute which went into effect in October, 2010, attributing fault to one of the parties is no longer necessary. Living separate and apart for more than 6 months and no chance of reconciling is enough. Tell the attorney to change the grounds to this “No Fault “ grounds. There is no longer […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #178: i was with my husband for 20 yrs, married for 13. he is an abusive alcoholic drug user. he failed a drug test and admitted to drinking. i endured much abuse in all those yrs. we have 3 children together. we are in the middle of a custody battle for the two younger ones. i left him 5 mos ago and went to a SAF house. now on my own with the two younger ones. i filed for a divorce in dec of 2009. i don’t know how it works as far as separation or divorce. i have met someone. but there have been no intimate relations. if i chose to have intimate relations how would it affect my divorce? if i chose to have him move in…how would it affect my divorce? what are the laws governing this? if i got a copy of the filing for divorce… would it protect me? we own much assets including a business. how long does a divorce take when there was multiple abuse going on? i do have an order of protection even though he has violated it. but i cannot prove it. can you please enlighten me with some answers.

I understand from the question that you provided that you are the plaintiff in the divorce lawsuit. You did not indicate the grounds upon which you filed for divorce, but I imagine it was cruel and inhuman treatment. Carrying on a relationship before your divorce would be considered an adulterous act and are grounds for […]

Oct 29, 2018

Question #172: Hello, I came across your site and I have a question for you, My daughter has been married for the past three and a half months. during that time I would say that most of the marriage has been spent apart and separate. He has been mentally and emotionally cruel to her. In the state of NY what is the time period she can file for a divorce and what are the grounds. They have both been residents in the state for over 10 years.

There is no length of time she must wait in order to file for divorce. The grounds could be “cruel and inhuman treatment”, but she will have to show Fear of physical harm, not just mental and emotional cruelty. Because they both lived in NY for over a year, NY would have jurisdiction. If they […]

LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.

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