Question #259:With agreement with my soon to be ex wife, I pay for our sons day care which is $811.00 per month which is far beyond my means but she cannot afford either. During this time I do not pay for child care however we agreed that when he is not in daycare and when he finishes daycare, I will give her the required 17% that New York says I have to give. My question is if she starts asking for child care, who is responsible to pay his day care? Please help me. Thank you.

Schooling , or daycare are generally NOT included in the 17% percent of child support payments
But are in addition to such support. Who should pay, however, and how much, should be decided by the parties
And if they cannot reach an agreement , the Court will decide.

If you are living in the NYC metro area, I strongly suggest you call me at 212-370-1660
To discuss mediating this matter rather than litigating it in Court.

Leonard Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #194:Hi…I think this is a fantastic site. Hopefully you can help me out with a question. I was seperated from my husband in early 2003. We went back and forth with the support and finally he gave in enough where I signed the papers. The divorce was finialized in Sept 2006. While we were going through the agreement (2003 – 2006), my ex-husband’s company downsized and subsequantly he found a new job with less money (went from 180K – 110K). The alimony, child support and misc money which we agreed upon was based on his old salary; however when the papers were signed and went before the job, he was at his new salary. I just got a job making $42K / year. This is my first job after 12 years of not working. My ex pays me $3000/month for alimony and $2500/month for child support. In addition he pays for my daughter’s dance (4K/year) and my two son’s baseball and basketball (500/year). My fear is that now that I have a new job, he will try to claim “poverty” and have my alimony reduced. Is this possible? Can I be taken back to court and how soon? Will I be given enough time in my current job (starts Feb 12th) to make sure I am comfortable and that I will stay in this field before he drags me back to court? When I told him I would need help with babysitting fees, he told me he already paid me enough and I am lucky he hasn’t taken me to court based on my ‘increased income”. Is this possible? Please help.

In order to properly answer your question I would have to review your Separation Agreement and examine the spousal support and child support provisions. Generally , the court will not modify the child support and maintenance support provisions of a signed agreement unless there is a radical change in the incomes of one or both of the parties. Until there is a new court order, however, your husband must continue to pay you as agreed upon, regardless of the changed financial situation.

If you are living in the New York City metropolitan area I strongly suggest that you call me at 212-370-1660 to discuss mediating this issue so that it does not get to the court which will require attorneys and additional legal expenses.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #163:Me& my husband have been married for 3 years in upstate New York. Last summer he convinced me to stay after i asked for a separation due to his failure to commit to starting a family, temper & unhappy living conditions among other things. I just felt we wanted different things out of life and we drifted and wanted out. We also were living with his mother who is mentally unstable and caused a lot of tension & problems in our marriage. I stayed to give it one more try. My husband knew it was his very last chance. A month later, I surprisingly got pregnant. Through my pregnancy my husband was distant and uncaring. He said he just had a lot on his mind with work and his mother being mentally ill and having to live under her roof. He showed no compassion or concern for me or the baby and made my pregnancy very lonely & stressful. i did my best to not let the stress effect me because of the baby and hoped we could make our family work. A few days after giving birth, my mother-in-law went ‘mental’ on me for no reason kicked me out of the house. I decided to respect her wishes because I don’t want my baby in this unstable environment and moved out. I moved into my parents’ home. (They are also the ones who now provide his day care while i work.) The “marital” home where we resided was owned by my husband & his mother which was left to them when his dad died. I refused to go back because of his mentally unstable mother and also the way i was treated throughout my pregnancy. I had enough. My husband loves the baby and stops by almost everyday to see the baby, but only usually stays 15min – 1 hour. I provide all the baby’s care; feeding, changing, bathing, healthcare, health insurance you name it. Here are my questions: (1) WHAT ARE MY CHANCES OF GETTING FULL & LEGAL CUSTODY? (2) CAN HE GET ME ON ABANDONMENT BECAUSE I LEFT OUR MARITAL HOME EVEN THOUGH I GOT KICKED OUT? (3) CAN I GET CHILD SUPPORT EVEN THOUGH WE MAKE ABOUT THE SAME AMOUNT? (4) AM I ENTITLED TO ANY OF HIS INHEIRATANCE THAT HE GOT WHILE MARRIED?

1. From the information you provided, it seems that you have a good chance of getting legal custody of your child and serving as the resident parent.
2. Assuming you can convince the judge of the fact that you are indeed thrown out of the house and that it was in the best interests of the child to live elsewhere, you should have no trouble with any claim of abandonment.
3. If you are declared the resident parent of the child, you should receive child support from your husband for his share of the child support obligation, regardless of your income.
4. Unless your husband co-mingled the inheritance funds or property by putting it in a joint name or account, an inheritance is not marital property.

If you are living in the New York City metropolitan area, I strongly suggest that you call me at 212-370-1660 to mediate your separation and the Divorce. Until you have a legal separation or Divorce, you cannot remarry, and you are still considered husband-and-wife.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #94:My wife and I have been married for 4 years with a 3 year old daughter. We married right out of college with barely any assets. During our marriage she has always kept our money and credit separate. Now she is demanding a divorce with 17% of my salary as child support (We both make similar salaries). But she says I can not touch her assets. She has even threatened to send her money to her family in China. What can I do to find her assets, am I entitled to a portion of them, and is she liable for any of my debts that I incurred during our marriage (individual credit accounts)? We live in NYC.

Any money or other assets acquired during the marriage other than by gift or inheritance
is generally marital property and will generally be divided 50-50, no matter in whose
name the property or money is held. Child support is a different issue. There is a statutorial
requirement to pay 17% for one child, but the parties can agree on a different (i.e. lesser) amount.
The catch is that although both parents are suppose to each pay 17%, in effect ,
the non-resident parent pays hisher share to the resident parent and the resident parent does not pay!
Actually, there is really a complex formula to calculate the 17% and it is not simply 17% of your total salary. But let’s call it 17% for this discussion.
If she hides her money or sends it to China as you indicate, the Court will credit you for the amount she hid or took.

Once you file for divorce, you can demand a Net Worth Statement in which your spouse will have to swear as to all of her assets and liabilities.
Please call me at 212-370-1660 to discuss further.

Leonard Weiner, Esq.Divorce Solutions

Question #93:Child support payments in NY State are17% of combined gross income, pro-rata, correct? My wife’s annual gross is about $4,000 more than mine. For my one son, this would amount to $625.00 per month! I know from detailed budgets I kept, that it never cost us even close to that. What is this money for? I’ve been told what it doesn’t include, please tell me what considerations are put into coming up with that number.

The number is not based on a calculation of need per se, but is a statutory requirement under the NY Domestic Relations Law .
The number 17% is for only one child and it is calculated on the combined gross incomes of
both parents up to $80,000. After that, the Court has wider discretion to decide how much more
it will require. What makes matters worse, however, is that the residential parent does not pay his\her share because it is the non-residential parent who has to pay his\her share to the residential parent, and that is grossly unfair!

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq.\Divorce Solutions.