Divorce Solutions

Oct 27, 2018

Question #61: I looked at your very informative website and thought I could ask a brief question. “My wife (we are currently going through divorce proceedings) recently moved with my son out of New York State to Pennsylvania. Although I am living and working in England, my issue lies with the fact that she has not given me an address where they are living or who is living at the location?. Is this fair and reasonable for her to withhold the address and information?” Thanks.

If you have joint custody or even visitation or communication rights with your child, which in most cases The non-residential parent has, you should be entitled to know where your child is, how to get in touch with the child, And whether the child is located in a safe environment. Unless there is an order […]

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Oct 27, 2018

Question #60: I have a question regarding child support when there is a joint custody arrangement in NYC. If both parents have joint physical custody and legal custody of the child and the child lives with each parent equally – 2 weeks with one parent and 2 weeks with the other parent, what kind of child support would be ordered by the court?

The situation you posit is somewhat unique, although not entirely unusual. Usually the non custodial parent pays the custodial parent his / her share of the child support obligation. In the case to you present, where both parents are custodial parents, no payment should be required to the other parent, but the child support obligation […]

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Oct 27, 2018

Question #59: Hi. I am hoping you can help me figure out what my best course of action should be. My husband and I are married one year and its his second marriage. The courts granted his divorce in 2006 by the Nassau County Courts. We currently reside in Queens NY and his ex and children in Nassau County.. My husband earns 110K/year and I 100K/year. We dont have a mortgage, we live in a house (by ourselves) which his father owns. Currently, my husband pays his ex-wife $2,500 /month in Maintenance and $2,500 /month in Child Support. In addition, he also pays 75% of children’s medical, $3,000 towards daughter’s dance and $3,000 towards extra-curricular activities. (three children, each receives $1,000/yr towards extra-curricular activities). My husband’s ex currently works and makes anywhere between $35K – 40K per year. Her maintenance is set to expire in 2010. My concerns are: I have heard that NYS law dictates that should the ex wife look to increase her cs payments, the courts COULD look at the 2nd wife’s income as a means for deciding whether or not an increase is possible. Basically the courts could look at my salary, feel that my husband’s life is enhanced by my pay and therefore, he can afford to contribute more money towards child support. How can I keep my money separate so that the courts won’t look at it for means of consideration? We spend a lot of time and additional money on the kids. I have no problem spending the money on them; however, I feel anything above and beyond should be at our discretion. In addition, while I love my husband and his kids, I need to make sure we have our own savings for our future. Currently we have no children together and I have no children of my own, but this may change and I need to know that financially we can afford it and not have to worry about fighting in the courts. Please let me know what my options are. Is keeping a checking account in my own name sufficient? Do my tax returns come into play? Should we be filing seperately? Thank you in advance for your help!

You pose an interesting question to which there is no specific, pat answer. Generally the courts have looked to the Second spouse’s income when considering a change of support, usually when the spouse requests that his/her support obligations be reduced Rather than when the prior spouse requests that the support be increased. In any case, […]

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Oct 27, 2018

Question #58: My fiancé and I have been together now for 3 years. He filed for divorce 5 years ago and even after 2 lawyers he has not been able to get anywhere in the case. His wife just refuses to settle, and keeps adding more and more claims for money, and still refuses to allow him visitation of their now 7-year-old daughter – unless it is by “her terms”. She also has been constantly delaying conferences and production of receipts, etc. for the last 18 months. Finally last month the judge ordered that they had to come up with a settlement by the next conference (in 2 weeks), or it would go to trial in June. After all these years, we know that she will not agree to settle and so it will end up at trial in June. My question is two-fold. At the end of the trial, will the divorce be final (as we would like to get married asap)? And secondly, what is the chance that my fiance will have to bring a separate case to get proper visitation with his daughter, since the ex won’t agree to anything, and the judge does not seem to want to even address the issue? Last year, after months of trying, the judge finally granted him one weekend every 6 weeks, 3 hours on Friday, 8 hours on Saturday and 8 hours on Sunday – no overnights, no taking taking her away from the city her mother lives in, and no visiting with anyone else. The poor girl has not seen her grandparents since she was a newborn, as the ex won’t allow it. There has been NO reason for any restrictions, except that the ex is controlling and wants to make all the rules. I have 3 children, and my fiance is a wonderful father, and poses no risk to his daughter – I can’t understand why a judge would not grant him fair visitation, yet so far he has not. As it is, just to spend these weekends with his daughter he has to travel from Missouri to Minnesota, as they have both moved since the divorce was filed back 5 years ago.

1. At the end of the divorce proceedings, there should be an Judgment of Divorce which will finalize the divorce; but such order, at least in NY, will come only after all of the financial issues have been decided as well as child custody, support, and a detailed visitation schedule have been resolved . 2. […]

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Oct 27, 2018

Question #55: I have been married for one and a half years and together for two and a half. My husband recently sold his house in peekskill new york. He put down money on a new house located in Massachusetts. After he received the check for the house he sold he left and did not take my son or myself. I have no money and no place to go. I have put myself in a motel for a couple of days. I don’t know what to do. Can you please tell me what i am entitled to. I really don’t know what to do. This is a mentally abusive relationship with a man who is bi polar. If you may have any advice as to what I can do it will be greatly appreciated. Thank you

Go to the department of social services in your area and ask for an attorney to help you sue your husband for spousal and child support and abandonment. Or try calling the local bar association in your county and ask for the matrimonial department and see if someone there can assist you. Good luck! Leonard […]

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Oct 27, 2018

Question #54: I am a seperated dad living in New York and have been seperated for almost 1 year with a legal written seperation aggreement in place since March of 2007. I currently have liberal visitation with joint custody right now for my 2 children of 8 & 6, that has been agreed upon in a written seperation agreement. I have my children every other weekend at this time and see them regularly in the am each day before school. I would like to know being that there mother has residential custody and I have always been the income provider for the family, she now works from a home based business and contributes to no bills whatsoever with her income. Anyway, What are the procedure with regards to kids school breaks and me having to take the children , or split these school breaks with her and If I am also required to take the kids for 2 or more weeks per year for vacation time for her. What are the guidelines pertaining to these issues , if any? I in agreeance with the seperation agreement am paying all the bills in the home including all utilites, mortgage payments, insurance, etc….while she has no financial resposibilties, at all. She lives expense free till kids are of age. As well as paying for a new car and all its expenses. I currently am also giving her maintance monies for 1 year and child support that has been agreed upon. Thank you for taking the time to answer my question.

These issues should have been discussed and decided and incorporated into the Separation Agreement. there are no statutory requirements for visitation and you should try to work out a schedule with your ex to cover the holidays , vacations and summer and be sure to reduce the understanding to writing. If you cannot reach an […]

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Oct 27, 2018

Question #53: In need of advise, I live in NY State left marital home1 year ago because of constant fighting and verbal abuse to each other,not a healthy environment for a child and was effecting her behavior. I thought I was doing the right thing by giving my daughter age10 a choice to decide for herself whether to stay or come with me when explaining that I was leaving. She decided to stay with father at that time because he never worked and I was the one working 2 jobs, therefore better relationship with father. I took her feelings into consideration when leaving, I was the the one always diciplining her and he let her run the show, I am stable and involved in new relationship and would like her to be with me,also trying to figure out a separation agreement but uncertain how to handle this because of her being with him, can I just take her and let him go for custody? How much damage did I do to myself by giving an 10yr old a choice? What would my chances be of getting physical custody if he was the one to play the mother role while I was out there playing his role?

You did hurt your chances somewhat by allowing your child to choose to stay with her father. The Courts will not want to upset a custodial situation which seems to be working . You cannot just take the child away without first working it out with your spouse. The courts would not look kindly at […]

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Oct 27, 2018

Question #52: If someone is paying child support from a previous relationship and they re-marry, what are the risks associated with the new spouse? In other words if the person responsible for paying the child support loses their job, will the new spouse have to pay it since they are legally re-married? Even though the kid is not theirs? If so, is this the same in every state? We live in NY.

The non- related spouse is generally not liable for the child support payments of the related spouse , but the court will consider the total family income and the expenses of the family as a whole in determining the appropriate amount of child support to be paid by the related party. Attempts to place all […]

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Oct 27, 2018

Question #51: I live in NY State and have a 15 year old daughter who lives with her mother. I was incarcerated for approximately 13 years; however, within those 13 years I was able to maintain a relationship with my daughter in which my mother (maternal grandmother) would bring her to me on visits. I am now out of prison and have established a strong bond with my 15 year old daughter. (My prison conviction was for robbery, but I am now a changed man). This is the problem. My daughter has been able to visit me every other weekend and stays for the weekend. This has been going on since I was released from prison. I have a fiance, who has three daughters of her own, 16, 10 and 5 years old. My fiance has a great relationship with her children and shows them an abundance of love. My daughter felt comfortable enough to tell me and my fiance about the treatment and neglect she receives from her mother. She has also expressed a desire to live with me and my fiance, and has ran away from home more than once. She does not get along with her mother, and has threatened to run away if she is forced to continue living with her. (My ex is very verbally and emotionally abusive). During a recent telephone call to my daughter, my ex informed me that my daughter has been acting up and she believes that her behavior is a result from being around me, my fiance and her kids. This is truly false! We show my daughter an abundance of love when she is with us, and my step children are great kids. My ex is just using any kind of excuse to stop visitation. Father’s Day is around the corner, and my ex is not allowing my daughter to visit with me anymore. She has absolutely no right to stop my visitation based on false pretenses. It appears that she is upset and jealous that my fiance maintains a special bond with her kids, and my ex just does not possess those motherly skills. Me and my ex were never married. I am going to take her to court for visitation, and was wondering if I would be able to file for custody, considering the fact that my daughter is 15 years old and clearly expresses a desire to live with me. Please help…what are my options!!??

If your daughter , it is a mature , 15-year-old and can express herself well, she is at an age where the court will listen to her , and if she desires tolive with you, the court will seriously take that into consideration. If there is abuse involved, the court will seriously consider changing custody […]

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