Question #77: Hope you can help. My wife and I are in individual counseling, not couples counseling (CC). Her counselor feels we have a lot of individual issues to work out before CC. I don’t know what her issues are and her counselor won’t talk to me at all. My issue is anger management which I have been working on for 8 months. My wife claims she doesn’t want a divorce and would like to work things out if possible. My counselor wants me to initate a divorce because he feels she is stalling but he doesn’t know why. My wife and I hardly communicate. My counselor also feels once in court I will find out her true intentions. My question is how successful, in general, are long separations vs short ones? Do the marriages actually end up better or worse? Would a divorce be the wiser course of action?

Before you begin the divorce process , try marriage counseling, even if you are both in individual counseling at the same time. Especially if you have children, you owe it to them and yourselves to try to resolve your relationship issues and keep the marriage together.

If, in the event that the counseling is unsuccessful, I strongly suggest that you contact me at 212-370-1660 to discuss mediating your separation and divorce. It will be much cheaper, faster and less emotionally draining on both of you, and provide you both for the opportunity to try to resolve the separation and divorce issues together.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solution