Question #34

You are absolutely correct.
It is much more advisable to deal with the issue now while you are both in the talking and negotiation mood and determine precisely how much your obligations will be. Some people link the obligation to the cost of tuition at a local state-run university ( such as CUNY or SUNY ) at the time when the child will be attending college. There are also several other options.
Many other issues must be dealt with, and these are too important to leave to self-help. I strongly suggest that you have an attorney experienced in matrimonial matters represent you. If you are living in the New York City metropolitan area, please call me at 212-370-160 0 to arrange for a meeting to discuss the matter at greater length.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question

The affair with your best friend may affect the court’s decision regarding child custody, but it should not affect either the amount of child support or spousal support that you’ll have to provide to your wife upon divorce.
About child visitation, unless there is some other reason such as physical abuse or socially unacceptable behavior, the court will not permit your wife to refuse to allow you visitation with your child.

If you’re living in the New York City metropolitan area, I strongly suggest you call me at 212-370-1660 to arrange for an appointment. It will be less costly, less emotionally traumatic, and faster than a litigated divorce.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #35

To accurately answer your question, I would have to see the separation agreement that you signed when you initially got divorced and the judgment of divorce from the court.

Concerning the custody issue, your concern about splitting the brothers is serious, and you may be able to convince the court that they both should be transferred to you if you so wish. Your acts would then be required to provide you with child-support equaling approximately 25 percent of her income. In the event, each one retains one of the children, and the child support would be canceled out unless one child has special needs that require more funds. Remember, if you get the older child, your child, that child will reach emancipation for years before the other child.

If you question the bona fides of the after school child expenses, I suggest you demand that she send you invoices for such services from the people providing the after school service, unless your separation agreement or a court order provides otherwise.

If you are living in the New York City metropolitan area, please call May at 212-370-1660 to arrange for an appointment to discuss the matter at greater length.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question

The courts will generally appoint an advocate for your daughter, who, along with the judge, would hear testimony from your daughter regarding her interest in living with her mother. Based on their response to your daughter’s request, the judge would decide custody. The courts will give much credence to the interests and desires of a 15-year-old child, especially a child, who can express herself intelligently to the court. The court has a right to compel you to allow her to return to her mother and will, if it so the decides, grant her mother custody. If the court gives her mother custody, she can demand that you provide the 17 percent child support as mandated by the statute in New York. You can offer less than the statutory amount by agreement with the mother, and this I can help you with through the mediation process. I strongly urge you to take advantage of this possibility.

If you are living in the New York City metropolitan area, please call me at 212-370-1660 to arrange for a meeting with you and your wife to discuss custody and child support.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #31

The key to your problem lies with your daughter. At age 17, the court will give significant weight to the testimony of your daughter and will listen carefully to your daughter and will ask her where she prefers to reside and what is motivating her to change residences. You need to convince your daughter that her best interest lies with her remaining living with you.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #28

I cannot overemphasize the benefits of a mediated as opposed to a litigated divorce. This is a prime example where the issue of living in the same premises could have been quickly resolved through mediation and not force the family to go through such severe emotional pain, especially for the children. The parties may enter into a stipulated agreement stating that the best interests of the children lie in the father moving out of the marital home. But such moving will not detrimentally interfere with his claim for joint custody and will not be deemed an abandonment since it is by consent of both parties.

It is still not too late to mediate this divorce. I strongly suggest that they call me at 212-370-1660 to arrange for an appointment to discuss mediation. It is the civilized way to deal with a delicate and emotionally stressful situation. It will save them time, money , and much aggravation. If not for their sake, for the children ‘s sake.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #27

Generally, the courts will not listen to the child until the child is in his or her teenage years and exhibits maturity of thought and mind. The court is, however, interested in the best interests of the child.

You did not indicate whether you entered into a written Separation Agreement before your actual divorce. Generally, the custody arrangements include a paragraph which deals with moving out of state and which limits the move to some particular agreed-upon radius from the place where the parties are presently living. If you do have a Separation Agreement, please refer to it to see if such a provision exists.

The courts are reluctant to allow the residential parent to move away with the child because such a move would interfere with the visitation rights and the relationship of the child with the nonresidential parent, and the courts would like to see that relationship grow. Your Ex will have to provide the court with a compelling reason why it is in the best interests of your child to move to such a remote location away from you.

If you believe that the move is imminent, you must hire an attorney to make a motion to the court to restrain your Ex from moving outside of the state with your daughter. If she insists on moving, the court may very well decide to give you residential custody of your daughter.

If you’re living in the New York City metropolitan area, I strongly suggest that you tried to mediate this matter with your Ex, and to that end, I suggest that you give me a call at 212-370-1660 to arrange for an appointment.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #26

There is no legal “term” for unfit mother, and the courts generally look to the best interests of the child in determining who shall have custody of the child. The home environment will be investigated, whether there is a two-parent home, or just one parent, whether such parent is earning a good living to maintain the child in a positive environment, whether such parent has been a good parent in the past or has neglected the child, whether such parent is on drugs or has some other addiction that may interfere with the child ‘s upbringing, etc. It will be up to the specific judge to decide whether one or the other parent is unfit or whether one parent is more qualified to have exclusive custody of the child rather than the other.

If you were to choose to mediate your divorce, the determination would be left to both of you instead of a third party judge. For that reason, among others, I strongly suggest you consider mediation.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions

Question #18

Unless there is physical abuse present, do not move out of the house or leave the children for extended periods ( i.e., days) without first having an understanding in writing about the future ownership of the house or custody of the children. I strongly urge you to consider mediation and give me a call at 212-370-1660 to discuss the matter in greater length.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq / Divorce Solutions

Question #20

Get a copy of the police report, which was made when they came to your house and arrested your husband. You will need it later when you decide to file for divorce. Abandonment generally relates to leaving the marital home and refusing to live with your spouse. You have taken your daughter to your in-laws to make sure she is provided for during this temporary period. Still, you should seek more permanent arrangements that support the position that you are capable of providing for your daughter yourself. If you cannot demonstrate to the court that you can care for your child yourself, it will influence the court’s decision as to child custody and the best interests of the child. You should seek out an attorney-mediator experienced in matrimonial matters and try to mediate your divorce rather than litigate in court, which is very costly and emotionally traumatic. If you are located in the NYC metro area, please call me at 212-370-1660 to discuss further.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq / Divorce Solutions