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Question #142:

I have lived in a nightmare for the past two years. My husband of 31 years cheated on me with my so called best friend. Not only was she my friend but for the last two years she worked for me and I had no recourse at work but to work along side of her otherwise I would have lost my 21 year job. Because I live in this Great New York, the laws are terrible. I had emails that they shared and cards and also copies of his poems to her. Since they were not caught in the act, I cannot sue for adultery. I have been back and forth in court for the last year and since it is a NO FAULT State, me the innocent party suffers. I am 50K in debt with one lawyer who I dismissed and now I have another lawyer and it still goes on.

What makes matters worse is that I make more money then he does, so since I do and he has no benefits I have to share all of my retirement benefits. To make matters worse he wants survivor benefits. Not only survivor benefits, but my pto Paid Time Off. He wants half of that when I retire. Let's see, oh yes he wanted support, he wants me to have a life insurance policy, the list goes on and on.

I can even go further and tell you that this man that I have no idea who he is, took private pictures of me during our marriage and when I found his emails to his girlfriend, I found he had been posting my pictures on the Internet at different porno sights. Well New York has no laws on this either, so all he has received by the District Attorney and the Judges here in Putnam County, but a slap on the wrist.

I have to sell the house and all I do is clean up his mess.


This really does sound like a Divorce Horror Story that unfortunately occurs much too often as a result of our
legal system and its warped sense of justice.
Try mediating your divorce .
If your spouse refuses, I suggest you find another attorney who is experienced in matrimonial matters and can
better represent you. You do not have to "catch him in the act" to prove adultery.
Circumstantial evidence and your testimony or the testimony of a 3rd party witness
who saw them together would be enough if the testimony is convincing to the judge.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions
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