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Question #216:
I'm not married but I have been with my fiance now 14yrs! I have a 4yr old daughter, and we just purchased a home 1yr ago in NJ. Things have not been going well in our relationship..we've tried counseling, but it didn't work. We both talked about separating, but he says he has to have custody of our daughter. Both of us are good parents, we both work, and both do our share of things around the house. He works more hours than I do, and of course I do most of the spending time with my daughter..I do all the things a Mother has to do for there child. I'm not saying he's a bad father..but I feel that I can take better care of her than he would. He say's he'll fight to the end, to have custody of her. Is there any way a judge can turn and give custody to a Dad instead of the Mother? and why? also, what would happen with our home, our belongings etc? since were not married? Please Help.


Based on the information that you provided, it seems unlikely that the judge would award your spouse custody of the child. In all likelihood , you would remain the residential parent , and perhaps both parties share custody.
With regard to your financial matters, it would be necessary to see exactly how title to the home is held and who paid for the furniture and household items you referred to.

Your situation is ideal for mediation, which would remove the entire matter from the court system and allow you and your spouse to sit down together with the mediator and resolve these issues.

Please call me at 212-370-1660 to arrange for a meeting for the three of us to discuss mediating your separation .

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./ Divorce Solutions
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