Primarily servicing the greater New York City metropolitan area



LEONARD M.WEINER, ESQ, Ph.D.
DIVORCE SOLUTIONS
206 East 38th Street
New York, N.Y. 10016
(212) 370-1660

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GET A DIVORCE - JURISDICTION, GROUNDS

Question #125:
I'll make this short and to the point. Hopefully I will give enough information to get an answer.

In the next 2 months I plan to leave my husband. He hasn't cheated on me (as far as I know) and vice versa. He isn't physically abusive, he's just not supportive emotionally. In my opinion he is a self-centered controlling mommas boy. He is an only child of a woman that has too much input in our lives. Over the years I have become very unhappy and withdrawn. We have a 4 year old child. I want to leave, we have about $50,000 in the bank. Because I know that he will make it very hard for me to get any of that money my plan is to move mine and my child's things out the house while he is at work. Go to the bank and take 50% of what is in the accounts. I'm not going to take any of the furniture just my belongings. I work and have always worked. We pay all the bills together. I'm the primary caretaker of our child, I'm the one that tends to all his emotional needs, the doctors appt, the school trips and anything else that is involved in our child's upbringing. My husband doesn't do anything for our child except show up. My husband is not a bad father, he's just not a good one. He doesn't know how to be there for anyone but himself. I have no intention of keeping our child from him. We can share custody I just want physical custody of our child. I live in NY and know that I can't file for divorce immediately. I don't want ANYTHING from him except for him to take care of his child. If he and I can work that out between the two of us I prefer to do it that way. I don't want to run back and forth to court, don't want lawyers involved. I just want to get on with my life without him, but we can try and be friends for the well being of our child together. What legal advice can you give? Oh, we have been married for 4 years.

Answer:


First, it is a common misconception among many people that you cannot file for divorce immediately in the New York State. You can file for divorce immediately depending on what the grounds are. You will , however, need grounds such as cruel and inhuman treatment, or abandonment or the like.

If the money you mentioned that was in the bank was earned during the course of your marriage, that money is marital property and half of it belongs to you.

I strongly suggest you consider mediating you divorce with an experienced attorney mediator. It is a serious mistake simply to run off with the child and not take care of the legal matters which are necessary for you to get on with their life. Specifically, any legal separation and or divorce. These are matters that are too serious to leave to self-help and you must get legal counsel.

If you do not address these matters now, they will come back to haunt you later on and will be much more difficult to resolve at that time.

If you are living in the New York City metropolitan area, please call me at 212-370-1660 to discuss setting up an appointment to discuss the matter at greater life.



Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions
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