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New York, N.Y. 10016
(212) 370-1660


Question #131:


OK, complicated question.

First background:

1) Married for 4.5 years.

2) Own apartment in manhattan in wife's name.

3) She has been mostly there since 2000.

4) I rent in California.

5) She hasn't worked for a year and a half, but made a lot of money before

the market crashed. She's been living from that.

6) She has admitted to cheating on me several times since married, and has

promised each time to stop.

7) I have some of her emails that reconcile this.

8) I have some proof and believe that she has had an ongoing intimate

relationship for the last several months with a person that I know the

identity of.

9) I have her admitting to cheating on me within the last "couple of


10)We were married in Nevada, but had residence in Califronia together from

1998 until 2000 and were married in 1999.

Question: Do I file for divorce in California or New York? Should I have

to pay her even though she has been the one to break our vows? Should I be

entitled to a portion of the apartment in the city, even though it's in her

name? How do I keep her from changing my mind like she has every time




You can file either in California where you have been living for over a year or in New York, where your spouse has been living for over one year. Since the apartment is located in Manhattan, it makes more sense to file in New York where the decision of the court will be able to be implemented immediately.

I strongly suggest that you mediate your divorce . You and your spouse can together with the help of the mediator settle all the outstanding matters including division of marital property, including the apartment , if it were acquired during the course of the marriage, and the extinguishment of any outstanding common liabilities of the marriage, and all other matters which have to be addressed in order to separate and get on winter lives. This can be done more efficiently, with less aggravation in the quiet of my office, instead of in the courtroom corridors after expending thousands and thousands of dollars on litigation and attorneys fees. You can keep her from changing your mind by addressing the issue and taking care of the matter without further delay.

Please call me at 212-370-1660 to discuss the matter a greater length.

Leonard M. Weiner, Esq./Divorce Solutions
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